I'm Trying

• to have more not rotten days than rotten ones.
• to go to sleep and be thinking random happy thoughts rather than obsessing about all the things I should be doing.
• to be able to wake up in the middle of the night and think about falling back asleep peacefully
• to not feel overwhelmed all the time
• to honor the grieving process--man, I really loved my Dad, and my Mom, and losing both of them close together really sucks.
• to increase my attention span. How funny is it that sometimes a :45 workout can feel like an eternity coming from someone accustomed to 5+ hour bike rides?
• to smile just a little bit more
• to let go of more little things
• to brush off mean, insensitive and angry people
• to tell those I love and who are kind to me how much I appreciate them--huge shout outs to Cindy, Harold, B-man, Brett, Patricia, Susan, my brother Mike, my "adopted" sister Laurie, Karen (a woman I work with) and countless others
• to be able to cry and let it make me feel better rather than worse
• to remember how much I love Ironman. I started watching "golden oldies" from the 90's (Hawaii), and am loving them! I have to say, the men wore some groovy Speedos back then, and everyone looked much more laid back
• to remember what I *can* do and regain my self-confidence, but be OK with second-guessing myself and asking for help at the same time.
• to understand my limits but not be bound by them
• to remember that winter is temporary
• to be myself again