Rambling

I have heard that blogs are going out of fashion. Fuck that. I write because I find that when I go back and reread things that I had some clarity of thought at the time.

I had made my blog private because I thought that when I meet someone new that I didn't want them to Google me and find this blog and they go into the archives and see all these wacky pics of me and some of my prior ramblings. But you know what? That is who I am/was at the time, and I am OK with it. There is really nothing in this blog that is (pick one):

• illegal (I don't think so anyway)
• pornographic (that is a subjective statement)
• libelous 

Now, I know that there are some things I write that are inflammatory. But no more so than some of the stuff I see on social media.

Anyway, back to what I want to write about today...

I have heard in the past that the only thing anyone wants to read about on this blog is my triathlon exploits, so I shall basically stick to that with occasional sprinklings of other stuff.

I was depressed earlier this year. It got kicked off by the incredibly harsh winter here in Chicago area. I know that I experience some amount of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). In fact, I felt it yesterday. Monday I went for a swim (and for the first time tried something that I think might help me which was to wear a paddle only on my left hand since my left side still doesn't have as much "feel" for the water as my right and may actually be weaker), and was also supposed to run. But the week prior I was in a 3-day training class for work and couldn't work out much during it, so I had purposely stacked a lot of workouts over Friday-Sunday:

• Friday I swam 3100 and ran for 1:45
• Saturday I swam 2800, then ran :40, then rode 1:40, then ran :20, since I'm preparing for a duathlon on 9/21
• Sunday I rode about 3 hours and ran :20 off the bike

Now, if you have known me for over 3 years, the above looks like nothing compared to some of the shit I've done in the past. But here's the thing--I've learned how to manage my "total stress load" a bit better, and frankly, being in a class where I have to be all smiley and participatory wears the hell out of me, because I am intrinsically an introvert (I draw my energy from within and being with a lot of people exhausts me).


So while I swam pretty well on Monday (I am back to swimming 3x week and regaining some form and speed!), I found that I was still pretty shelled from the weekend and decided not to run. Of course, this created a mind fuck in the sense I wanted to "make up" the run, even though technically I didn't need to (I'm only training for a 1/2 marathon at this point, for fuck's sake!). Also, I was on the fucking Food Channel, even though lately I have been feeling like a total fatty.

I divert again. Remember those 13 years I spent doing Ironman-level training? I was so used to my ultra-lean self that it has been hard for me to accept a little more fat on my body. Although people are telling me I'm more muscular, which might be true since I've been the Queen of Squats for the last 2 years. In truth, I'm only 2 lbs. off my "Ironman weight," and it's all in my legs and butt.

One of the decisions (and in addition to SAD earlier this year, I decided I needed to completely change my life!) I had made earlier this year was to back off from long course triathlon. And I have. Why? Because I want there to be room in my life for romance, friends, family and a general buffer zone to account for unintentional stress.

While that was a logical decision, implementing it made me depressed, because for some reason, I didn't know what to do if I wasn't training for long course. Old habits die hard! Then I rediscovered the joy of shorter races, and found I still had some fitness. I have yet to get a 1st place in AG this year (4 2nd places), so that tells me I'm not where I want to be, but it's a start. I have done this mostly by biking less, which sucks. I FUCKING LOVE RIDING BIKES!!! But I am finding that 5-6 hours a week is still respectable.

Anyway, so I'm fat, I didn't run on Monday, I was depressed from March-June. I did go to a therapist, and she wanted me on meds. I tried some and decided I didn't want to be on that train. Mostly, I just needed time to realize that I was overloading myself with the desire to make huge life changes all at once (in addition to giving up long course triathlon, I wanted to sell my house and move and downsize and get rid of 1/2 my possessions), and wasn't cutting myself any slack. Not that I've ever been good at that!

One of my personal issues is an addiction to achievement. So when my job changed at work in April, I was thrown for an additional loop in terms of the depression, since I felt temporarily incapable of succeeding and believed the workload would get excessive. So I'm going to give up long course triathlon, sell my house, move, downsize, get rid of 1/2 my possessions and significantly change my job! No pressure! Fuck, I was really losing it. But the job thing actually helped because it caused me to focus on ONE THING and solve that problem (how I did so I will not write here), and then I was able to see that as an ACCOMPLISHMENT, which of course made me feel better about things, and once I realized I could still work and train a fair amount, I was able to see that I had overloaded myself, so I quit seeing the shrink and got on with things.

Another nice thing that helped me to be OK with no long course triathlon was being given the gift of being asked to coach a friend for a short while (or maybe it will turn into something more, who knows?). I truly do love sharing my knowledge of triathlon with anyone who wants it! And so I began this little adventure maybe 10 weeks ago, and got back onto Facebook and now here is my blog.

So you all (all 5 of you) reading this see that I am quite fallible and now I am able to be upfront about it. As for the long course triathlon, we will see how that pans out. There is still a part of me that would like to do Ultraman Hawaii since I am qualified for it. Maybe at age 60. Wouldn't that be a trip? I have tentatively agreed to do another Ironman in 2016. Or not. I do want to do a 1/2 NothingMan on Thanksgiving weekend.

Oh--about my right foot. I have a confirmed Morton's Neuroma, but it's not as bad as some people get. It only hurts at "some point" into "some runs." I also discovered that I am wearing the WRONG FUCKING SIZE RUN SHOES. Do people at running shoe stores not think to remeasure your feet when you are asking them how to fix problems? Oh well, I am figuring it out on my own. I got new custom orthotics that will help, will be changing shoe sizes again (larger size is not the answer--I need to go with wide width now), and we will see if that completely stops the foot pain. It won't FIX the neuroma, it will just help me manage it, which is all I can ask for. Then if I'm able to run 15 miles pain free, well...the next logical step would be...

OK so Monday I skipped my run. I did get it in yesterday, though, in 2 increments--:30 of really slow on my treadmill, then later I went outside for :20 hard effort followed by a 1:30 ride. I was still tired from the weekend festivities, but I needed to BE OUTSIDE since all I did on Monday was swim.

So through all this past 9 months I've learned I need to be more careful about SAD (maybe I need a light box), that I still love triathlon, that I need to workout a good amount for my own mental health (and that amount appears to be about 14 hours per week don't judge me!), that my life isn't so bad, that I can deal with this whole aging thing for now, and that I'm OK with who I am.

One of the themes of this blog is letting go of attachments. While trying to let go (or not) of an attachment to long course triathlon, I discovered that I have an attachment to achievement. Not necessarily of being #1 or some amount of something, just goal-->plan and work towards it-->achieve.  That one will be tough to break, and I may never succeed at it. Ha! I just figured out my own existential conundrum--trying to SUCCEED at being detached from SUCCESS!!!


I might not be Crackhead anymore, though. If I'm not, that's OK, and if I AM, that's OK, too!

Ride Like an Egyptian Ride and FOOD Report

Yesterday I did, for the first time, the Ride Like an Egyptian century out of Dekalb.  I'd wanted to do this ride for a few years, but either the weather has been shitty, or I was doing a NothingMan (which used to traditionally occur the weekend after Ironman Wisconsin).  This year, the weather was going to cooperate, even if it started out a bit cold.

I woke up at 2:30.  I am doing fine on 7 hours of sleep, thank you, but pass out like 7:30PM.  I am such a loser but it works for me as I LOVE the early morning hours to straighten up the house (such as it is with a constant triathlon tornado blowing through), load bottles and stuff into the dishwasher, write blog posts, gaze upon my psycho training plan and review my master TO DO list to see what I might be able to knock out that day.

It was chilly outside, only 51, and the hourly forecast called for temps to drop even further by 7AM, which is when I wanted to start riding.  I chose a riding outfit including tights and a long-sleeve jersey from Jordan Rapp with a Descente underlayer on top, long socks, toe warmers, helmet beanie, and my awesome Castelli wind stopper gloves. I'd fixed my bottles on Wednesday this week (usually I don't do it until Friday) because I had to go to downtown Chicago on Thursday to get my new laptop (which I still haven't finished configuring because I haven't had time but that's on the list for tomorrow) and Friday I had a repairman coming (to fix my oven YAY it's fixed!) and then a massage and of course, work, so I got the head start on the bottles.

Pre-ride I took in:
FOOD ALERT!!!!

• Toasted Bay's Sourdough English Muffin with blackberry jam on top
• Hardboiled egg split in two on top of the muffin
• 3 cups of coffee with fat-free Hazelnut Coffemate (yes, it has SUGAR!)
• 300 calories of Ultrafuel, my sugary goodness that I use for any workouts over 3 hours
• 1 can of Coke during the drive to Dekalb.

So that's maybe 850 calories or so.  On the way to Dekalb, I saw the temperature dropping, to a low of 43!  I knew I'd made the right decision on clothes, even though I'd brought a pair of bike shorts just in case.   I even turned on the heat in my car!

When I arrived at the Egyptian Theater, where the ride began, it was pretty chilly when I got out of my car.  I got there just after 6:30AM, and there were already a good number of riders getting ready.  Some of them just had shorts on, and while I am pretty tough, I am tiny, and knew I'd be better off covered up today, even if it got to 70.  I'd rather be a tad warm than at all cold!

Here's the outside of the theater:

You can see from the sky that it was a beautiful morning!  In retrospect, I should have had someone take a pic of me doing the Egyptian walking pose in front, but oh well...

I figured from the outside facade of the building that it must be pretty cool looking on the inside, so I went in and snapped a few pics. First, here I am in my lucky Jordan Rapp jersey (official good luck to him in Kona!):

This is the second time I've worn this jersey--it's DA BOMB! Perfect for that starting out riding cold and may warm up a bit but you won't get hot in it. Next I went inside the theater proper and look at all the cool stuff in there:

I thought they'd let us check in like 6:45, but they wouldn't until 7:00AM, so I had 2 more funny pics to knock out:

Now why the dude taking the pic didn't get me head on I don't know!  Some people just have no clue when it comes to taking pics.  Meanwhile, everyone was marveling at how small I am and calling me skinny and I HATE that!  I am NOT SKINNY! 

I talked to a girl in line who had just started doing triathlons this year and she was so excited, and I didn't say anything about myself (after all, I was dressed like a roadie with a Castelli hat and all) until after I'd asked about all her races and times and stuff, then all I said to her was, "I've done a bunch of triathlons."

Got registered, got a map, failed to ask what the road/signage markings were for turns, and went back to car to retrieve Skull Kingdom and get started, but I had to pee again, because cold weather really makes me need to pee a lot.  I was going to use some shrubs in the parking lot, but there was a disgusting porta-potty that I used instead.

I headed out and within one mile was lost--no signs, no arrows.  And the map I thought I'd stuffed into my back pocket was not there.  I must have just dropped it on the ground.  There were a few guys around me (trying to keep up with me) and I asked if they had maps, and NO.  Fuck.  Well it took awhile to find someone riding WITH A FUCKING MAP and then we got on track.

The ride is a hub and spoke system, which is cool.  We ride out to central rest station and then there are 3 different loops from it, so theoretically, it was 11.5 miles to the rest station, and then each loop 25 miles, do them all you have 100.  Well it took me 1:07 to get to the rest station (I typically don't look at mileage because time controls when I eat/drink), and I'm thinking fuck I must have added a bunch!  Or their mileage was wrong.  It was a little of both.  I asked a volunteer for a map at the rest station and they didn't have any!  OK, poor organization, but I can't blame the volunteers.  They had all kinds of food there--PB&J sandwiches, bagels, fruit, GORP, etc., but I was on the Infinit and didn't want any of that yet.

I chose Loop #1 called Burlington first, as it was allegedly the most scenic countryside.  It was really pretty!  But it wasn't fucking 25 miles!  It was actually 30 something!  But luckily there was a water stop in the middle of nowhere because I only had a 16-oz. bottle of water in addition to my (2) 3-hour concentrated Infinit bottles.  At the water stop, I briefly chatted with a woman who was on an MTB, and asked about her shirt.  It was from the Toys for Tots motorcycle ride, that I know of.  I asked her what kind of bike she rides, and she said Kawasaki Vulcan.  *I* had a Kawasaki Vulcan way back when!  I asked the year of hers--1996--mine was an 85, I think, and mine was only a 550 whereas she has a 700.  I asked her which type of bike she likes best, and she said bicycle, because it's less nerve-wracking.  I have to agree, there.  Except that even on bicycles, people are trying to kill us!

The Burlington loop was blessedly free of traffic and had some decent rollers, but nothing I would call a major hill.  Great roads, lots of corn and soybeans, cute country homes, nice smells!  When I got back to rest station, I asked if anyone knew the exact mileage of the loop and where they were at, and people who HAD NOT BEEN LOST at the beginning like me (I must have missed just a single turn) had like 38 miles where I was up to 46 already, so yay me!

I was a bit hungry-ish at this point so I chowed a 1/2 PB&J and washed it down with Infinit.  I looked at the map on the wall to see which loop I'd do next--while I really liked #1, I didn't want too much excess mileage since I'd planned on riding again next day, maybe even another century.  Of the other 2 loops, one was labelled for "advanced riders," and I asked if that meant HILLS because I LOVE FUCKING HILLS but no, they said it was just on major roads with a lot of traffic, WTF???  So I decided on Loop #2 next.

Loop #2 rocked (Kaneville loop) because it started out going into the wind, which meant we'd have some tailwind on the way in.  I got about 1.5 miles in and passed a small girl on a tri bike riding next to a guy on a road bike.  About 30 seconds later, she rides up on me pedalling like mad to catch me, gets right next to me and says, "Are you a misfit?"  My addled brain is trying to process what she just asked me and I had no idea how to answer, so I just said, "Excuse me?"  She said there's a tri group called Misfits, and she thought I was one because of the skulls on my bike.  I smiled and said, "No, I'm not in any club," (except the one in my head LOL), then a few seconds later added, "I am a social misfit at times, though."  She could not keep up with me and dropped back.

I continued on Loop #2 and into a headwind (going south, I think), and then we hit this road called McGirr, which was fucking awesome.  The name reminded me of the ERMAHGERD meme, and I had miles of laughs saying ER MCGIRR to myself or even out loud.  I was needing water and pissing regularly, so luckily about 15 miles into this loop, just after we turned off McGirr was a library, with a porta-potty.  So that was good.  Then 10 more miles and back to rest station, and this time the loop ACTUALLY WAS 25 miles!!!  Well, 25.5.

I talked to and met some guys, 2 of them doing Ironmans, and 2 of them just riding, and we were laughing and stuff, and they got all gaga when I told them what the hell I've done, including Ultraman.  It still flabbergasts me that people think it's such a big deal, since I figure if *I* can do it, almost anyone can.  Anyway, I had to decide on my last loopage, and decided #2 again would be fun, so I asked these 2 guys (not the triathletes since I already knew they were faster than me) how fast they were riding, and they said 15-16.  I thought they were kidding or sandbagging, and told them to suck my wheel so we could ride together.  Well that lasted all of 2 miles and then I was gone. Once again, I had total fun on ER MCGIRR Road, and this time when I turned off, I needed water.  I asked a maintenance dude outside the library, and he said it was open and there were water fountains in there.  Which there were!  And they were ice cold!  I used the "Girls" bathroom, too!

I was happy to be heading back, and maybe 5 miles later who do I run into but the 2 dudes who weren't as fast as me, and I'm WTF how can this be?  They said they were right on with the turns and all, so I guess there was some turn I missed which caused me to get an extra 3 miles on this loop!  Once again, YAY ME!  I passed them again, got back to rest station and chatted again with the triathlete dudes (one doing IMAZ and other doing IMFL), we had some more yucks, then I had to get out of there.

The way back to Dekalb consists primarily of FUCKING KESLINGER ROAD which was the most hilly road of the ride PLUS A HEADWIND!!!  Fuck.  Oh well, gotta get 'er done.  I forgot to mention I'd been riding all day with a fucked up right foot, care of some shoe/insole/metatarsal pad experiments I'd done on Friday with my running shoes.  It cause my anterior tibialis and peroneals to go all FUCK YOU on me causing the front of my ankle to hurt like a mofo.  But I kept thinking as long as I didn't feel like I was making it worse by biking, I was OK.  It did hurt to unclip, but oh well.  That is why I wasn't riding like a bat out of hell.

FINALLY we got off the road from hell and were close to Dekalb.  A volunteer had said it was 14 miles back, which meant I'd end with 111 miles, which was cool, but of course the voices in my head are saying RIDE MORE SO YOU GET TO 112 YOU DUMBASS, but I was resisting them.  Finally I saw a sign WELCOME TO DEKALB, and I said DE-FUCKING-KALB I was ready to be done!

Well I roll into town and I'm already over 111 miles, I'm like, OK NOW I have to get to 112, and I was maybe 2 blocks from the theater, and I yell to some dude who'd just finished I'M AT 111.75 DO I RIDE AROUND TO GET 112???  And he knew the correct answer, which was YES!!!  However, I rolled past the theater into the parking lot, got to my car and was like HOLY FUCKING HELL LOOK AT THIS!

I mean, what are the odds that I added just enough lostness and extra miles on Loop #2 to get to this?  It made me smile hugely!  I wiped down my face and Skull Kingdom and put her into the car and grabbed my Endurox.

Here's what I had during the ride:
FOOD ALERT!!!!

• 6 hours of 1/2 Money Shot and 1/2 Money Shot 25% Less Caffeine custom Infinit mix.  245 calories per hour
• 1/2 of PB&J on white bread sandwich
• 1 fun-size Payday
• At least 6 16-oz bottles of water, probably more like 10.

I went back into the Egyptian Theater, and was giggling like a little kid I was so happy to be done, and they had a big spread of food, so first I headed there, and then sat down to chat with the volunteers and gave them this ride feedback:

• Have beer when we are done.  DUH.
• Have a whole pile of extra maps at the rest station since we are all clumsy and drop them like they're hot.
• McGirr Road is FUCKING AWESOME!

The 2 dudes who'd tried to ride with me came in a few minutes later and the 2 triathlete dudes went for a short run and came back to eat and we all chatted and exchanged names (if they are brave enough to read this blog and/or my Facebook page).  Here's what I ate immediately post-ride:
FOOD ALERT!!!!

• 1/2 egg salad sandwich on white bread
• 1/2 tuna salad sandwich on white bread
• 2.5 cups of beef/vegetable soup (YUM!)
• single serving of Lay's potato chips
• 1.5 scoops Endurox R4 mixed w/water
• about 5 1" cubes of cheese and 4 crackers

I had to get home to shower and stuff and meet my brother Mike for dinner at our favorite sushi restaurant.  But it was already 3:30PM and we were to meet at 5, so I called him and said 5:30, knowing full well I'd be ready for another meal in 2 hours!!!

I drove home rather fast, using the cruise control because my right ankle and glute were hurting like mofos.  Got home, immediately cracked a beer, OMG it was the BEST BEER EVER!  Unpacked the car, showered up (BEST SHOWER EVER!), dumped pics out of camera and onto Facebook while icing my right glute and ankle.  When I looked at my ankle, I actually had this 1" red lump on it, whoops!  But it went down pretty quick with the ice.

Then I met my brother Mike for sushi and me talking 200MPH because I was hopped up on caffeine and having had such a great ride and I've got 11 weeks until IMCOZ and I am so happy and feel great!  Here's the rest of the food I had yesterday:
FOOD ALERT!!!!

• 1 Harp Lager
• 1 Giant Sapporo with dinner
• 1 Raspberry beer just before bed and when I woke up 2 hours after my first sleep
• 2 brownies that I brought home from the ride.  I should have brought more
• At least 23 pieces of assorted sushi rolls and nigiri, possibly 30
• 2 small fortune cookies
• 1 bowl of Miso soup
• 2 small pieces of Hershey's dark chocolate

And guess what?  I woke up this morning with A HOLE IN MY STOMACH!!!  So had "real" breakfast today, 2 eggs fried in butter, English muffin slathered with butter, next I am going to have like 8 fresh figs and a banana.  FOOD CHANNEL!!!

I didn't add up my calories from yesterday, but I probably needed at least 5,000, so I will just keep working on them today ;)

Oh by the way, I averaged 18mph yesterday, not bad for an old lady with a bum ankle!!!  Today I'm signed up for another ride, but it's going to rain all day, so fuck that, I'm going to have fun with my girl, Lori, on the trainer (and she might run on the treadmill), for about 3 hours, and then we are going to EAT FOOD!!!

Two more big weeks of training and then a rest week.  YAY!!!  My ankle should be fine by Tuesday, which is when I do my next scheduled run.  Meanwhile...MORE BIKING!

First Week of Coached Training and Food Channel

I've made it through 4.5 days worth of coach's workouts.  They have gone well.  I have another 1:20 bike to do today yet, but without that I'm up to almost 11 hours for the week.  I should reach around 19:00 by the end of the week.

Needless to say, at this level, I need to eat often and ensure I am replacing all my glycogen stores every day.  I think I must have been behind yesterday, because here's what I ended up eating for dinner and beyond last night:

• 2 beers
• about 5-6 oz. spaghetti with blue cheese/bacon/red pepper sauce and liberal grated Romano on top
• A medium size salad of butter lettuce, grape tomatoes, copious olive oil, creme of balsamic, and a sprinkle of grated Romano cheese
• 2 Stoned Wheat Thins crackers spread with light braunschweiger (yes, I like that)
• 2 raspberry Fig Newtons

My workouts yesterday were a 3400 Masters swim and a 1:45 ride that included about 20' of VO2 Max intervals.  Before dinner, I went through the following:

• 32 oz. Gatorade
• 1 can Coke (for first hour of ride)
• 1 serving Endurox R4
• Breakfast muffin plus hardboiled egg for breakfast
• Some sugar-containing cream in my coffee
• 2 pieces of String Cheese
• A 300-calorie Lean Cuisine (Indian chicken somehow) for lunch
• 2 bananas
• A handful of roasted almonds
• Probably some other stuff I don't remember.  All I remember is eating constantly.

Sometime after 7PM, I passed out in front of the TV, and then woke up around 8PM.  I felt like I needed some more calories, so I ate a Powerbar Triple Threat and went back to sleep.

When I woke up this morning, I wasn't starving, but within 30 minutes and a cup of coffee, I had breakfast, and the eating cycle began all over again.  I looked in my freezer wistfully, knowing that all the good things in there are going to be consumed faster than normal.  I am trying to avoid buying candy for snacks, but I'm thinking I probably should just go ahead since my calories needs are going to rise in the next few weeks.  On the white board in my kitchen where I note needed supplies, I just wrote CARBS.

Anyone who wants to buy me a meal better watch out!

In Other News

If you're on Facebook, you can find me by name (Google me!). Sometimes I post shit there that I don't put on the blog and vice versa. I would LOVE to have all my blog readers linked on Facebook!

I signed up for a 50-mile trail race yesterday. What the fuck was I thinking??? Oh yeah--I am trying to gear up for Ultraman. The link has been added to my races/events sidebar for 10/24/2009. FUCKING YIKES!!! I guess I will need to lean on my ultra friends to tell me what more I need to do to be ready. I would appreciate having a few friends there with me, seeing as how I will be a bit trashola afterwards. Let me know if you are interested!

I seem to have recovered well from last week, since I did no running or biking on Monday (just a 3100 yard swim), although I was pretty much shelled all day/night Monday.

Yesterday, I did an impromptu triathlon, which I have dubbed "WTFMan." It consisted of a 3600 yard swim, 24 mile bike and 4.5 mile run. I swam really easy because I was still tired from last week, but I biked like a mofo at 88% of FTP on an absolutely gorgeous day, and then the run, well, it fucking hurt, which told me that OMG I must have run a bunch of fucking miles last week!

Are you noticing I am laying on the expletives now? This is what happens right about now when I'm in my last build week before Ironman, or in this case, Triple T. My house is a fucking mess, the amount of workout clothes I'm going through is amazing, I always seem to be fixing bottles of something or other, and I have so many things I need to schedule and my training volume isn't decreasing anytime soon! And then the madness begins, first with Triple T, and well, just look on my sidebar it's jam packed with all sorts of fun!

I've been receiving packages of stuff I ordered online, and the boxes just lay around open and stuff is not put away, I have to actually try and get enough calories to keep me going because with all the training and work being very busy, my appetite gets messed up and so I find I need to start stuffing myself at dinner, which isn't optimal (I should just eat more earlier in the day), but tough shit, it's not like I'm going to gain any weight here.

I feel like I'm absolutely the right weight/body comp for racing--although I am very lean and it does impact my swimming, slap a wetsuit on me and that gets corrected...I will be sporting my neoprene on Friday's 3800 yard swim.

I am being "cabin Mama" for Triple T, and I've graciously volunteered to buy groceries for and do some cooking ahead of time and onsite for the 2 dinners for everyone in the cabin and also my bitch, Shelley and her BF. I already have the non-perishables, but Friday night I buy all the other stuff, do the baking of Triple Fudge Brownies and individual Margarita Pies this weekend, and then early next week I'll make the spaghetti sauce and spaghetti salad topping. I just hope I calculated the amount of food we will all need pretty well! I know since I've done this race twice before how much *I* need to eat, and I figure guys will eat more (although they are usually amazed at how much I can stuff into my skinny little body), and then figure some extra. I am also bringing snacks, defizzed Coke and Ultra Violence and coffee. I think my cabin mates will appreciate my effort, and I have requested they each bring an "offering" to the Pirate Zebra Queen!

Normally I say that training isn't hard, and the training itself isn't so much, but at the volume I'm at now, it makes it very difficult to fit in the rest of my life! But I'm trying, and it will be interesting to see how I fare at Triple T, since I want to do more than just survive it. I'm really looking forward to it, though, because it will be bracketed by 2 "just vacation" days in the woods there, and it's so peaceful and beautiful, and I'm looking forward to the time to just sit quietly, which will give me time to ponder the depths of my mind and life and how good it really is and how fortunate I am to have the health and means to do this stuff!

FOOD CHANNEL!!!

So let's see if I can detail exactly what I ate and drank yesterday:

• Breakfast: hardboiled egg, English muffin with jam, coffee with sweetened creamer
• 20 oz. Gatorade during swim
• Banana and piece of string cheese after swim
• Really thin slice of lamb cake around 10AM and a few jelly beans
• 12 oz. Gatorade during run
• 1 serving Endurox R4 right after run
• Lean Cuisine something or other with some Sylvia's sauce on top for lunch (and of course I licked the plate clean because I love the sauce!)
• 2 Beck's
• Dinner of basically 1.5 servings (I think) of meatloaf and large salad with tomatoes and mushrooms, and 2 servings of the lamb cake

Exercise I did:

• 10 minutes of jump rope
• 9 minutes of chinups, crunches and pushups
• 1 hour of swimming
• 26 minutes of lifting
• 1 hour of running

So I woke up at 2AM this morning and thought I must not have eaten enough. So I had a few pieces of herring in wine sauce and a package (200 calories) of cheese-filled crackers, and then I fell back asleep and had a whole raft of interesting dreams, which I won't go into detail about here.

I definitely need to do a few things nutritionally:

• Take in more calories during the first half of the day, although I prefer working out with little in my stomach, especially running. This just means I have to watch the clock and eat at like 5, 9, 1, 3 and then dinner.
• Finish the damn cake! It's great, but not ideal nutrition. I can switch over to Twinkies, though.
• Maybe take in a little more fat. Left to my own devices, my basic diet is maybe 10% fat. I think that has something to do with waking up in the middle of the night. I've been putting olive oil on the salads, though.
• Time to buy Cheetos! I tend to not eat a lot at any single sitting
• As much as I've come to like salads (and they are good for maintaining or losing weight), I need to get back on the rice for dinner during the week, and pasta 3 times a week to be prepped for long run and long ride days.

I used to have the nutrition epiphany closer to mid-May or June, but I guess I revved up the system a bit earlier this year, and my body is now telling me to catch up on the calories. I know, I know--big problem to have, right?

I'm thinking tonight is going to be a steak and pasta w/pesto. Yum!

And the Stream of Expected Changes Continues

One of the things I get a kick out of is being really in tune with my body as I gradually increase my training load. After a brief break in the fall (which is typically way brief for me), I am itching to prove to myself that I haven't lost my endurance, which is why a 1/2 NothingMan in November or December (2008's was delayed due to my back injury, although I suppose my November Cheaterman 60-mile bike/15 mile run was close) has become a regular event for me.

Next, I have to adjust to life on the fucking trainer, but I start out with short workouts so that I can up the intensity, and for no good reason at all, I cut back on my swimming. And then I start working on some running intensity.

Next, I feel like a complete and total blob, because I hate how I look when I am not tan, even though it is probably just a few pounds of fat because I'm not training like a maniac. I remember that I need to be watchful of my diet, especially treats like candy and chips, because I usually don't start in on them until I'm training at least 15 hours per week.

Then I get up to around 15 hours a week and it's always a bit of a shock to my system, just getting used to the frequency of the workouts and all the bottles and how I need to manage my time very efficiently. But then after a few weeks of it, big things start to happen, since I usually don't hang out at 15 for very long.

There's the Monday morning workout, "Oh SHIT am I tired." I slept well last night, and felt fine when I woke up, but as soon as I started doing pullups, I could tell I was tired. By the time I got into the pool, I could tell I wouldn't be swimming too fast. There will be Mondays where I can barely put my face in the water I am so tired, but that won't happen for a few months (I hope!). And when one of those days happen, I have a conversation with myself and my little friends that goes like this:

Me: Huh, I feel kinda tired. I wonder if I should take a rest day?
Inner Devil: Fuck no just go a little easier today
Inner Angel: Gee, it wouldn't hurt you to take one
Me: I wonder when was the last time I actually took a rest day? Probably before some race...
Inner Devil: Rest days are for losers or the day before a race ONLY.
Inner Angel: Maybe you need a rest day.
Me: Now that I am thinking about it, what do you know? I can work out harder right now.

Speaking of shit, there's more of that happening, too, as my body adjusts to more food going in and consequently more shit coming out (sorry about that it's true). It will take a few weeks for me to get all synchronized on that front, which is mostly a function of run volume and frequency. I'm up to 5 runs a week, and I'll add a 6th in 4 weeks.

The next thing that will happen, I'm guessing in 2 weeks, is that Mr. Tapeworm will return. Since I've been dieting, I've been used to some feelings of hunger, but that's from calorie restriction. Mr. Tapeworm will see to it that not only am I hungry all the time, even while actually eating, but that while eating one meal I will be thinking about the next one!

Finally, I'll experience regular bonking. Not necessarily during a workout, but yesterday, for instance, after I finished about 2:15 of stuff, ate lunch, had a beer, had a lay down, then got up and started doing yard work (which apparently I do rather vigorously, go figure), and about :40 in I started bonking. It made me laugh, because now I need to be aware of any extra physical activity that I'm doing because it will require more calories coming in every 2 hours at least.

Bonking during workouts will happen when my timing is off, i.e., I started a workout later than I should have and didn't keep fueling right up until. This will happen usually during the week when work takes precedence over when I get my second workout in, since I won't eat lunch until after that's finished. And even if I pound a Coke or Ultra Violence, it might not be enough calories to keep me going, only because I probably am not able to keep my glycogen topped off on a daily basis when I'm at 16+ hours in a week.

All this while, I will be feeling like I am strong and that nothing can get to me, but you know what? Predictably I get a little moody. I know many people think they only get that when in a taper, but I am already there--it's more a function of how much I'm training. I already did a mini-build while doing the indoor sprint races, and now I'm in the volume build for Triple T and I already notice some moodiness. But I've done this for years now, so I've learned when to paste on the smile and say "thank you" when I might not feel like it or to just smile or to just be quiet.

It doesn't help to not have raced in 2 weeks. You know, even though it wears you down, you get used to the high of it because there is nothing like it. I just completed a survey which was fun to take, since it confirmed what I thought to be my mental state while racing. And that high can last you for a few days, and I naturally have these aggro tendencies, so you put it together and it's quite heady.

But then there will be the first 100 mile ride of the year, the first 2 hour run, the first 4,000 yard swim, and they will be other joyous markers of things to come. It makes a training year like climbing a mountain, and then you need to come down off of it. But the way up is fun, fun, fun, and you know what? Even if you reverse the first letters, it's still fucking fun!

Edit: During my little :45 run, I realized I forgot a few other markers:

• Gagging when I brush my teeth. This seems to start happening once I am racing, and then continues as I build volume, because brushing my teeth means either I'm on my way to a race or a long workout!
• Hot legs. As the volume goes up, so does the metabolism, and there comes a point when my legs are always burning up while I sleep, which makes me wake up and move to another part of the bed which might be cooler, or throw all the blankets off and put a cool feather pillow on myself, go into the guest bed which will be nice and cool, or move to the edge of the bed so a fan can blow directly on me. Last night was the first time where I had to have a fan blowing on me all night because I was so hot, even though the air temperature in my bedroom was maybe 68. When I travel during the summer to races or training weekends, it's a big joke with whomever is my roommate about how cold we will keep the room. 58-60 is not too cold!
  
• The MESS. Since I had my house all nice and fixed up, I've reverted to being somewhat of a neat freak, but once I start running and riding outside exclusively (and longer), time available to clean will go down the drain, and there will be shoes, helmets, dirty clothes and bottles in plain sight pretty much daily.
• Practically puking after runs from home. Why? I think because on the way back, I am usually so excited that I will be done for the day, and I usually have something in reserve so I throw caution to the wind and just gun it for the last mile. And then spend 5 minutes dry heaving and coughing!
  

See this is the sort of stuff you never see in books about Ironman training, but to me it's one of the more charming aspects!

Back 2 Skool and Getting Ready for Triple T

Last night I went back to school. Massage school. Not to learn, but to be a volunteer body. It was heaven! The class is all women, so you guys go ahead and fantasize. The woman who worked on me is just learning, and I was telling her which muscles she was on and she was impressed by my knowledge. When she was working on my upper back, I requested work on my subscapularis, and the instructor showed everyone in the class how flexible I am and she dug right underneath my scapula, and it felt oh so good! I get to go to school for many weeks now. I ended up getting basically an hour of good massage. Of course, as is typical, I always asked for more pressure, since I am used to people going quite deep on me. So here's me laying on a table, and every few minutes it was, "Harder." Or, "Deeper." And Helen was nice enough to keep asking me, "How's the pressure?" I've learned it's good to always reinforce the person working on you with encouragement, like, "That feels really good," "Keep doing it that way," and "Right there. You are right on it."

I am also, little by little, getting my shit together for Triple T. The amount of crap I need to bring is incredible. And then there are all the little odds and ends that need to get done before I go away. I started on my race toes Sunday night and finished them up yesterday:









Race Toes

I also defizzed these happy fluids yesterday in some pitchers and put them back in the bottle where they will await their call to duty this weekend:











Defizzed Coke and Ultra Violence

Lastly, I don't know how they got there, but I spotted a bunch o' whores on LGL:









Whores on LGL

Today my objective is to make my "food bag" and make piles of crap all over the house that I'll be taking with me. Oh and there's that pesky brick workout and my job to do also. It will all get done, though.

Here's the theme song for the Tiki Hut at Triple T:

Today's Ride

Fu-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-UCK!!! Hard fucking week, but I aced the test. Workout totals will be posted tomorrow or maybe later today.

Click on the post title to get to the pics.

Today I rode 78 miles and then ran about 4.5. It was my 4th brick this week (2:00/:20, 1:30/:40, 2:50/:40 and 4:30/:40), my 6th run this week. If I can keep up my momentum, I will run M-F this coming week, which will make for a lot of running.

One thing I didn't say in the photo text--one of the guards, on my 3rd loop of Fermilab, yelled at me nicely was I just riding around and around? I just smiled, but as I rode on by, I thought to myself, "Hmmm...in reality, I am riding around and eating." It made me laugh. I was totally on the Food Channel while riding. This has been one helluva training week. Next week will be more of the same, but run focus instead of bike focus. I can't wait!!!

Brick of Awesomeness to the Sixth Power

Today’s brick workout was sponsored by Pepsi, makers of Ultra Violence. Today was the first time I drank the old Ultra Violence right before a workout—I had actually meant to grab a Coke, but I just went ahead and mindlessly popped the top and took a swig and it was not Coke! But then I figured since I only slept 6 hours (woke up early again and had to eat a sandwich and never quite fell back asleep), I could probably use the hard stuff today. Here are the things that made this one of the most awesome brick workouts ever:

1. Weather. It was right about 70°. Absolutely perfect for biking. It became overcast just when I started, which made the run really nice, too.
2. I found a new interval route!!! It’s 4 miles one way and has hills, only 1 stoplight and very little traffic. I stumbled upon it due to some construction on my normal route and decided to try a different way. Change is good! Most of it is east-west, which is cool, because I really like riding hard into the prevailing westerly winds, but there’s a ¼ mile stretch of hilliness that goes north-south. That ¼ mile stretch is basically a climb in one direction, and it’s nice pavement and very tasty!
3. I had lots of watts during my ride (1:30), and I discovered I have become strong enough on LGL to need a smaller cassette! I have a compact crank with a 12-25, but I decided I need an 11-23 on the back now because I need the bigger gears. I think my strategy of riding with lots of resistance on the Tacx over the winter has finally paid off. I am just used to pushing the big gears.
4. I had good speed on the run (:40) and negative split it as I was supposed to. I didn’t even feel bad running. Really! And the run had a good amount of hills in it.
5. The brick was my second and third workouts today—I did an abs/core workout early this morning. I did 3 workouts on Monday (swim, run, lift), 3 on Tuesday (bike, run, lift) and 2 on Wednesday (swim, run). Today’s workout was the strongest I’ve felt this week. Now, some of that may be the caffeine talking, but I also think I’m absorbing all the NothingNess I’ve done over the last 8 weeks. It typically takes 2-3 weeks to absorb the benefit from really hard training, and since last weekend was “just” an Olympic, it’s almost been like getting another rest week!
6. I’m adjusting to a more constant eating schedule—at least I’m getting better about frontloading more calories in the morning. Today, for example, I had a Power Bar Triple Threat, then a glass of egg protein (25g protein), 2 large bananas and a can of Ultra Violence before I did the brick (the abs/core workout was after just the Power Bar). So about 700 calories before a 2:10 and change workout. I could drink Ultrafuel instead, but in my case, I think I need the extra protein, so I’m going to stick with it. On days when I swim, it’s going to be Power Bar, swim and drink Gatorade, egg protein, bananas and maybe ½ can of Ultra Violence before I run.

It’s all good. I am feeling really strong, resilient and fit. Still, it’s a good thing tomorrow is only a swim. And a massage! And then LOTS OF BIKING on the weekend, featuring 2 more brick runs, so in 8 days I will have done 5 bricks. Fuckin’ A.

Food Channel

I've given up. Normally, I wouldn't eat this stuff until maybe June, but it's become ridiculous the amount of hunger I have been experiencing, especially when it's like 2AM in the morning. So officially, all bets are off. I would actually like to put ON those 2 pounds that I lost over the winter, as they may be lean mass that has been catabolized due to stress. Although I feel pretty good, but I would like to be able to sleep 8 hours straight and not be constantly hungry.

So, when I made my grocery list for the weekend, I included all my "I'm training really SUPER HARD" foods--Twinkies (whipped cream to go on top), Jordan almonds, various flavors of Fig Newtons and Pringles. The sardines are something I normally eat as a snack food. These foods don't normally make an appearance in my diet until around June, so I'm well ahead of schedule.

The second picture is a lot of protein that looked good--veal, Ahi tuna and Porterhouse steak. Then you see the actual dinner I ate (looks like a lot of food, huh?) and finally dessert. But now that I think about it, I want some orange slices.

Tomorrow I ride the Bitch! 78 miles is the plan, and I absolutely can't wait. Bottles are fixed, Bitch is set up and all that remains is about 300 more calories for me to stuff down and some rest.

It's officially GAME ON!!!!

Overtrained and What I'm Doing About It

But first, check out those bitches and their rides--a lobster, a trout and a chicken. Feel free to pilfer the photo and caption it here.

I was starting to feel a bit overtrained last week. Is it because I'd done effectively 2 HIM's in 3 weeks? That's part of it. But the training was feeling good and all. I am going to have to chalk this one up to an overload of life stress.

Even though things are winding down in Dominatrix land, every few weeks I've had the pleasure of being insulted, directly or indirectly, by one or more of my siblings. How nice! And even though I think I'm brushing it off, well, it does take its toll.

I have always had this thing about being yelled at by anyone--whether it's deserved or not--and I know where it comes from. When I was a kid, being second to youngest, I got to observe all the antics of my 2 older brothers and older sister, and I did not wish to be punished, so my MO became always be the good child. And I pretty much was, up until the age of about 17. Although from the age of I think 2-4 or 5 (I'm not quite sure), I did this thing where when I wanted attention I would hold my breath until I passed out and then sure enough, Mom would come find me and revive me. My parents thought I had epilepsy, but as it turned out, I didn't (although I'm sure there were permanent effects), and I stopped that behavior and moved on to more healthy ways of getting their attention--getting perfect grades, behaving well, watching after my little sister, learning to play the piano and trying to stay out of the line of fire with the older ones. Mom and Dad were quite the disciplinarians with them, and again, I did not want to get the belt from Dad (I don't think I ever did--YAY!) or the broom or whatever Mom had handy. Now, I'm not saying Mom and Dad were abusive--from what I recall, it was just good old tough love. Nevertheless, I didn't want any part of it.

And you can guess where this led--to a blossoming perfectionistic/control freak/OCD combination. Whatever I could control and perfect by doing it over and over again and get rewarded or recognized for it, I was on it. School work, piano, violin (not sure why I stopped this but I think it had to do with the cost of lessons or an instrument), sewing, cooking. In my haste to perfect doing things, I failed to acquire or see the need for good social skills. I earned the attention of all my teachers, but Mom and Dad seemed to just be pleased that I stayed out of trouble. The same rules were applied to my business life, rollerskating/rollerblading, gardening, and you guessed it, now triathlon.

I did spend some time in therapy going over this stuff, and while I still have the same tendencies to want to be doing stuff all the time, I recognize that it's just part of who I am, and that in many ways (as I said a few posts ago), my greatest weakness is often my greatest strength. I mean, hey, I'm happy I'm good at so many things. I don't try and fight my desire to do things anymore. But sometimes I do need to stop and turn down the intensity. And I do work hard at trying to make and keep friends, although I prefer just a few close ones.

Of course, my desire for perfection has been applied in my role as Dominatrix (Executor/Trustee) in spades. The professionals I am working with are always telling me what a great (and fast!) job I've been doing. That makes me feel good, and I think it honors my Dad, but isn't it funny that even in his death I am still trying to show him how good I am? But it's the right thing to do, and I just don't know how to slack at too many things.

Now contrast the professionals I've been working with to 3 out of 4 of my siblings. No contest there! See I can never understand that when I think I am doing my best and going out of my way to help someone (and I am trying to help them get money, what could be wrong with that?) why they would treat me like crap. Hell, in the past 5 months more complete strangers have treated me with kindness than them! Thank you, countless strangers and friends who have been so considerate. But so it goes.

I know I'm still processing a lot of emotions because whenever one of my friends is having difficulty lately, it's like I channel their bad feelings and add them to my own. My manager sent this really nice video clip about telling people how much they make a difference the other day and I watched it and it just sent me off bawling for an hour or so. I know the bad feelings will dissipate, and I'm still much, much better than I was a month ago. Yes, I need a vacation, but I am still finding plenty of ways to enjoy myself until that happens. It's just still a bit tumultuous being me right now, and it's not entirely unexpected.

Circling back, I know this has created stress for me, and I guess I thought I had it under control. I still mostly do, but I have had to realize that 14-15 hours of training a week plus this shit has been overloading me. So last week I started to wind things down a bit, but I had great workouts on Saturday and Sunday so I thought I had things licked.

Wrong.

But you know me, gotta keep doing things to see if something will change or get fixed. Monday I felt fantastic swimming. But running later on, not so much. Tuesday I totally dug on riding my bike outside, but afterwards, felt like crap. Yesterday, the extremely long warmup of my swim felt great, but the anaerobic 50's put me over the edge. So I skipped running yesterday and I just kept eating and trying to rest. Here's all what I took in yesterday (and yet I woke up hungry this morning) in no particular order:

• Power Bar Triple Threat
• Some sugary Coffeemate in my coffee
• 10 oz. glass of orange juice
• Large banana
• Lean Cuisine (beef, potatoes, corn)
• Endurox R4, one serving
• 20 oz. Gatorade
• 2 or 3 pieces string cheese
• 7.5 oz. can of sockeye salmon
• 1.5 cups of a shrimp/vegetable stir fry (homemade)
• 1/4 cup of coconut
• 2 eggs fried in butter
• 2 pieces of toast with butter (eggs and toast were a 10PM snack)
  
• About 3 oz. of Gummi Life Savers
• Tigermilk bar
• About 1 oz. of cheddar cheese
  
• 1 Beck's beer

I didn't add up the calories in all that, but my guess is well over 3,000? I also took an extra multivitamin, magnesium and B complex. I'll take them again today. It's not like I'm going to gain weight--I'm trying not to lose anymore, because stress is catabolic, and I don't need that.

Sorry for the long ramble. Sometimes this stuff just comes out. I feel pretty good right now, but unless I feel *perfect* later on, no workouts today. It is really hard for me to hold back, but sometimes holding back is the right thing to do (and sometimes not, but that's another story!). I just feel like I need a complete year of "mostly good." But you know what? I've kept going through the last 3 years with tons of crap happening in my life and I'll keep moving forward. One thing that is critical to me is laughter. I really, really like to laugh. Hence the Tiki Hut.

The Barbies are bitches. Can't change that!

I'm Hungry!

I have a feeling that the giant Barracuda is going to clean out the fridge...I better start eating!

Happy Feet and Not Enough Calories

I was feeling a little introspective and it got me a little down yesterday, but once I started making my toes all sparkly it fixed everything. It's tough to be unhappy with happy feet! I couldn't decide which color I liked more which is why I ended up doing each foot a different color. I have gone with 10 different colors at once. I thought I wanted the blood red, but once I put it on I didn't like it so much, but that got fixed up when I added the sparkle coating. Yes, I'm like a little girl sometimes with my love of pink stuff and sparkly stuff. But I have my limits. You will not catch me in a matched set of sweats with rhinestone lettering on them. Sandals with rhinestones? Sure. Diamonds? Hell yeah.

I woke up early again today feeling very hungry. I thought I had been eating non-stop in the evening, so after eating something right away, I added up what I had eaten on Tuesday. I can pretty much remember whatever I've taken in, harkening back to when I've needed to watch my intake more closely. I added up conservatively and it was about 2500 calories. I biked 1:25 and the Ergomo said I burned 830 calories in that time! I wasn't even going hard! And then I lifted weights for :45 which I figure is only another couple hundred calories, so I probably did undereat by about 500 calories or so. I'm not really sure. Which is why I'm trying to find somewhere I can get my RMR/BMR measured again so I know what I should be doing.

I used to be obsessive about wearing the HRM and noting the calories on the power meter and using those numbers to guide my food intake, but I no longer use an HRM and I haven't been looking at the bike numbers, either. I've sort of just been guesstimating what I think I'm burning, but if that bike number from yesterday is right, I am way underestimating. Yet I hate to just eat like a total pig until I gain weight--that seems stupid to me.

So today, so far I've swum for 1:05 (fairly hard) and I ran for an hour, slightly slower than tempo pace, and through lunch and recovery stuff, I've had about 1,300 calories. I think I need to eat a lot more today yet...I should probably get in about 1,800 more. I think I may need to start drinking a carb supplement . Or get back on pasta more often.

I think part of my problem is the nervous energy I'm burning up with my Dad's stuff. There is still some stress going on, I can't deny that, and one thing I don't need more of is stress or additional calorie-burning activities!

But I won't know until I find out some real numbers, so stay tuned...I really don't like it when someone says to me, "Nice problem to have." No it isn't. I need to time my calorie intake based on when I'm going to train (typically once before work and once in mid-day), and at some point I just can't put any more in. But I just thought of some other snack foods I need to start buying again--string cheese for one--and really it comes down to a couple hundred calories here and there, and that should do the trick!

Oh and there was some excellent scenery at the pool this AM. Swam this workout:

WU: 200 swim, 200 pull, 200 kick, 4 x 50 (10") Swim Golf
MS: 10 x 150 (15") as 100 Hard, 50 Easy.
100 easy swim.
2 x 200 (15") pull, Steady with excellent stroke.
8 x 25 (15") as 25 Hard, 25 Easy
CD: 100 easy swim

I was pretty fried after the 150's, but the rest was easy so no big deal.

Getting the Lead Out

It would be an understatement for me to say I have been pushing myself in training. Now that I find myself having done 2 HIM's (effectively) in 3 weeks (not recommended for those without significant base), I'm really feeling it.

I took Sunday off. On Monday I did an easy 2800 yard drill workout, and then I lifted for an hour. The swim felt good and there was no way I could have done a hard workout. The lifting is not a cardio workout, so no problem there, but in retrospect I should have dropped weight on each exercise for this week only--not like I'd lose any strength there. I woke up at midnight and had to eat something, so I had 2 slices of toast and a chicken leg. Apparently, I was still catching up on my calories from the weekend, although I estimated I burned 3,000 on Saturday doing the workouts, and add in another maybe 2,000 for my RMR, I needed about 5,000. I definitely took in at least 4,000, but sometimes on days when I don't workout, like Sunday, I don't eat enough. Which is why I'm waiting for a personal trainer I know to hook me up with someone who can measure my RMR exactly so I know how much I need to eat. I'm pretty sure it's more than I am customarily eating.

I began paying for that weight workout yesterday. I was supposed to run for 1:15 easy, but my legs were telling me NO, NO, NO. But I figured I could do elliptical. I ended up doing 1:05 of some course called "Around the World." The screen looked like Space Invaders. I had no problem doing the workout, and when I got the machine to tell me my HR, it was perfect for a solid, easy aerobic workout. But when I got off the machine, I had jelly legs something fierce. Probably because my calves had stopped working.

I stretched out really well last night, but when I woke up today, I could still feel my calves being all tight. So I decided to do a pulling workout this morning instead of my scheduled workout, because kicking would just not be happening. Turns out that I swam strongly, so the extra pushups I've started doing must be helping out there . I'm working my way up to the EXCELLENT rating for this test, so I need to get up to 60. I can do 40-50 easily, which already qualifies as excellent, but I want a 100%, and to be able to do a full 60 every day. I am not sure why, but it can't hurt me, right?

So I do the pull workout (with fine, fine scenery in my lane, thank you) and later, I look at my scheduled bike workout:

WU: 15' wup, 3' spinups
MS: 3 x 2' (1') @ 105%, 2' Easy,
4 x (6' @ FT then 2' @ 105-110%, 3' Easy),
8 x 30/30'
CD: 4' Easy

I wasn't sure I'd be able to manage it, but turns out I did just fine. Well, for the first 3 of the FT intervals I was fine...the last one I lost a little power on, but overall I was surprised to be able to nail this. Trust me, it's a hard workout! My calves still haven't settled down, but I think it's still after effect of the elliptical, so they should be fine by tomorrow.

So now that I've confirmed my legs are working again, perhaps with a good night's rest I'll be able to bust out a nice tempo run tomorrow. I'm looking forward to running, and now that the weather is approaching reliable for outdoor running, even better.

On the tapeworm front, I continue to be on the Food Channel since the weekend. I laughed and told my lane mate this morning that I was going to start bringing cheeseburgers to the pool! Somehow I have managed to eat only a handful of those crack-loaded Doritos Hint of Lime chips. Last night I ate until I was almost uncomfortably full, and even after eating a light breakfast and drinking Gatorade during my swim workout, I felt pretty underfueled. But that must just be the recovery fatigue talking. My weight hasn't budged.

I have a massage scheduled for tomorrow, and for the first time in several months, I feel like I really need it.