Fuck fuck fuck

I don't have a glamorous medical condition--it's not cancer, diabetes, heart disease or anything that requires invasive treatment.  You can't tell by looking at me that I even have a problem.  But it's there.  Today I got test results from yet another thyroid blood test, and I'm worse than I've ever been since we started measuring.  Based on the ups and downs and further downs I've had in the last 12 months, this confirms that my thyroid is crapping out, and I don't know how much longer before it just gives out and I can get off this rollercoaster.

In a way, it confirms that despite a decent training cycle, I just didn't feel right at IMCOZ.  Someone asked me if the thyroid gyrations are due to training--my doctor claims no.  I am seeing an endocrinologist in 2 weeks, and we will see what he thinks. 

Meanwhile, I am going to press on with my training and racing plans.  It may be that I just need to go into every race with no expectations other than to finish.  I can live with that.  Some of the things I'm doing would be considered a stretch for people younger than me, so I feel fortunate that I've built a relatively strong engine that can get through this shit in one piece!

I do know that I need to be as good as possible with my diet, try and get enough sleep (and I'm sleeping 8+ hours again, so that seems to be back on track or maybe it's because I'm even more hypo?), stretch, get massage, do more strength training and manage stress where I can.  And stay connected with friends and family.  Despite what my body is doing to me right now, at least I am not depressed like I was most of last year!

While I am tired of this rollercoaster ride, I'm going to press on because this is what I do. But you have to know that sometimes it sucks to be me, and to have a metabolic problem sometimes feels like the biggest slap in the face, and it makes me cry because it's taking so long to get me regulated.  But it could be worse, and unless and until this or something else takes me down, I intend to keep at it and see what I can make this old body do.

Fuck it, I'm still Crackhead.

Closing In

This is going to be a very rambling post.

WTC STILL hasn't posted the start list for IMCOZ.  WTF???  You can't put up a fucking list of people on the Interwebz?  I need to know who my competition is, so that I can either get excited about the possibility of a Kona slot, or I can relax, knowing it probably won't happen.

I am 8.5 weeks out from race day.  In case you haven't been fucking paying attention (oh, did I forget to say this post will be LITTERED with F-bombs?), here's the remaining training:

That is some hefty fucking training, eh?  I don't fear it, though, since I've done more than this in my build for Ultraman Canada.  I have to keep telling people that because they still look at me all cross-eyed when they see how much training I am doing NOW.  Either they don't have a fucking memory, or they have just recently jumped on the Crackhead bandwagon.  I know--it's a wild ride, isn't it?

I get almost a villainous laugh when faced with a training block like this.  Why?  Because to me it's ALL KINDS OF FUCKING FUN!!!

I get to test my mental toughness in a huge way, since it's likely I will be doing some very long trainer rides (I think my longest ever is 5 hours; I will go up to maybe 6:15 this time around), including 3 of what I am calling FUCK ME biking weekends:

• 10/19 4:00 hours, 10/20 5:30
• 10/26 3:00 hours, 10/27 5:00 hours
• 11/16 5:30, 11/17 4:00 hours

Thing is, I've done this shit before, only FUCKING OUTSIDE!!!  At least one, possibly all three, of these weekends will be trainer rides.  But you know what?  I don't fucking care.  For one thing, my homey Shelley (who I haven't seen in 4 years can't wait!) will be here for the first one, and her job is to tell me how fucking amazing I am, fetch fresh, cold bottles from the fridge, tell me what an idiot I am, take stupid pictures and post to Facebook, and commiserate with me in general.  I think we will be watching James Bond movies--I just got the Blu-Ray 23-disk set that includes Skyfall. Then we will consume mass quantities of food--I plan on sushi one night and Dell Rhea's Chicken Basket the other.

Also, on 11/9, I do my race rehearsal ride, which will most likely be 6:15 in duration, and Cortney will be here for a wedding, and she gets to perform Crackhead sherpa duty that day.  I've never met her in person, so this should be interesting.  Cortney is a budding Crackhead herself, so I am pretty sure we will have a great time!

My birthday (57 CAN YOU FUCKING BELIEVE IT???) is on 10/22.  Shelley will be here in close proximity, so we will no doubt celebrate.  I have already gifted myself of many things, and really don't need anyone to buy me stuff, although I joke about it all the time on Facebook.  I have been given nice things by nice people.  Gatorade is always appreciated, as are superhero action figures and gift certificates to Desoto and Zoot, hint hint.  Last year when I was so depressed, one of the irrational thoughts I kept having was that I am old and ugly.  Well maybe I AM old, but at least now I am OK with it.  I tricked my best friend, Susan, into believing that I would never race Ironman again, and that it would be a GOOD thing.  I have since notified her that I was crazy at the time, and that this training and racing is what keeps me sane, vital, vigorous, sexy, good at my job and just loving life!

As you already know, I've had my early fall illness already.  I still have somewhat of a cough, but I feel like I'm OK without the inhaler, except right before exercise. Yesterday was a drug festival, though, as I woke up after 5 hours of sleep, drank coffee, swam, came home and worked, took some Ambien to try to sleep, never slept, woke up feeling drugged, worked more, finally started feeling better and had a Coke, passed out around 7PM and woke up at 2AM.  I am just rolling with this oddball sleep schedule.  Tonight I may take the Ambien right before I go to sleep at around 8PM and hope I sleep until 3AM.

Oh--yesterday I went to this little boutique in town and bought some fancy ass clothes, including this dress:

It looks really good on me.  The owner is all excited about having me as a client since I'm pretty tiny and look good in all this designer shit.  Although I think I have a strange physique now--either I'm fat (I've put on about 3 lbs. last 2 months but plan on dropping it), or I am really carrying a lot of muscle.  My size 3 (ACTUAL SIZE 3 NOT WHAT PASSES FOR 3 NOW) jeans fit me just fine, even a bit loose, but my ass is huge.  I have rather big legs for such a small person.  I wonder whether with my thyroid function fixed that my metabolism is allowing me to keep more muscle on me?  Whatever, apparently I have been eating enough to put it on.  Yesterday I started an austerity program for the last weeks before IMCOZ--no more candy, no more Twinkies, Pringles and Cheetos sparingly, watch my beer intake.  That is all it will take to shed those 3-4 lbs. in maybe 4 weeks.  I feel really "thick" if that makes sense, which is a feeling of being solid, not jiggly, so maybe this is muscle.  I plan on getting my metabolism measured sometime after my next blood test, assuming my TSH level is where I want it to be which is between 1 and 2.  If it's higher, that means my thyroid continues to crap out and I will need to go on a higher dosage.  This is so much fucking fun, NOT!

That dress will be making an appearance in Vegas next March, where I and 2 girlfriends (maybe Shelley if she can get out of a stupid work trip) will be visiting Susan and running the Red Rock Canyon marathon, and then going out on the town.  I wish I had an occasion to wear it before then, but stupid men I fancy are afraid to get with all this.  I mean, look, I DO have time for social life, just the rest of my life is far from normal.  I manage to kick ass at a sometimes high pressure job, maintain a house and gardens, cook (WELL I might add) for myself, train for a fucking Ironman, manage to keep a few good friends, coach Brad, and be generally awesome. What is not to like about that?  I know people who ask me about my training are doing mental gyrations and thinking, "she can't POSSIBLY have time for a relationship," but that is just not true.  Sigh.  Well, I can't be concerned about the man thing right now.  If someone is brave enough to take the Crackhead challenge, great, STEP THE FUCK UP.  Oh, I guess with an attitude like that I can be a little intimidating.  GET THE FUCK OVER IT GUYS!!!  As my brother, Mike, says, "someone in the relationship has to be smarter."  Fortunately, I have a few friends that "get" me and aren't trying to hold me back or tell me to "tone down" or "be more girly" or "quit being so boisterous."  While I may have a foul mouth, I am quite girly, thank you very much LOOK AT THAT FUCKING DRESS!!!

Also, I am getting back on my strength training.  I got off kilter there for a few weeks with IMWI and then getting sick, but I'm back on the weights.  That is crucial for me, since it helps me to support my training and my life in general.  I figured out that the reason I was cramping (lower legs and feet) while swimming was due to the Evista I was taking for osteoporosis.  I've been off it for a week, and already I can kick like a mad fool and not cramp.  Leg cramps are a documented side effect, and since I can't tolerate cramping up during a swim, I stopped it.  I am working with my doctor to figure out what alternative I will take, but I don't plan on starting anything new until after IMCOZ since I don't want to fuck with potential side effects.

The other thing about Evista is that it can increase your likelihood of DVT.  I was already planning on asking whether I should stop it prior to flying to Mexico, so at least I can take that off my to do list.  I was also experiencing some excess edema in my right calf, which MIGHT have been from spraining my ankle, but I think it was also related to the Evista.  One day last week when I was running I became paranoid that maybe I was experiencing DVT, but all that swelling is gone, so PHEW!

I should probably tell you how I've done against my planned training.  If you recall, I registered for IMCOZ on 7/22, and I quickly put together a training plan which has since become what my protégé, Brad, is being killed by...er...following.  It only took me about 3 iterations to eyeball it for making sense, being a reasonable progression, and getting me in top-top shape.  So here's how I've done against the plan so far:

Not too shabby for a working stiff, eh?  Also, since 1/1/2013, I am averaging 14.8 hour of training per week.  My highest ever was 16.3 while training for IMLP 2009, so I'm a bit of a slacker, but that's because I really didn't do much from January through early July.  As of 7/21, I was only averaging 13.7 hours per week, which is really nothing for me.

Now, if you look at my average training hours per week since 6/17, it's 17.8 as of the end of last week.  THAT is good, serious training!  I dropped off a bit from 18 due to being sick.   HUGE NUMBERS MAKE ME FUCKING HAPPY!!!

This week is a "rest week," meaning not much running--only 2.5 hours scheduled.  I will still swim quite a bit and bike like 9.5 hours, so other than running, this is still a solid week.  I know the rest is working its magic on me since yesterday I was going a bit crazy since all I did was swim.  So I finally got my weights on, at least a start on it, and I did some gardening, too.  I can already tell that I will go batshit crazy during my IMCOZ taper.  It's been awhile since I've been in this kind of shape, and soaring to the peak of fitness and then dropping out the volume to taper is sure to turn me into this:

But I LIKE that feeling!  There is nothing in the world like it!  When you are at the top of your game, all mental and physical systems in your body are in perfect synchronicity with your goals, WHO WOULDN'T FUCKING WANT THAT FOR THEMSELVES???

Yet, it can frighten the shit out of people.  I've already put myself on notice at work to watch my attitude, because I get pretty aggressive right about now.  DON'T FUCK WITH ME.

Here are the to do items I have left to go for my IMCOZ preparations:

• Try out my race clothes.  I hope to do this today, as the weather will be warm when I bike and run later.  You might guess I would wear zebra stripes or skulls or both, but actually I'm going with simple red and black.  Skull Kingdom has plenty of skulls, as does my aero helmet.
• Make my reservation with Tri Bike Transport.
• Have Magic Mike take another look at me in the pool.  I am not going to get any faster before IMCOZ, but I want him to check if my work the past few weeks has made a difference.  I DO plan on working with him on my speed beginning in January.
• Put new saddle on Death Machine and get cleats for new shoes.
• Figure out when the fuck I will have time to get my final bike tuneup before dropping it off for transport.
• Go insane and try to not commit any felonies.

Today I get to do a broken tri-ath-A-lon (as my friend, Mark, pronounces it, which makes me smile): 2900 swim in the AM, then 1:30 bike with :20 brick run.  I am SO looking forward to getting on the bike today!
Congratulations if you made it this far.  NOW FUCK OFF!!!!  Just kidding, have a wonderful day!

Foot Fuck

I have been overtly experiencing issues with my right foot since 2010, when I was first sidelined with severe foot pain while training for Ultraman Canada.  I have also had issues with my right foot while cycling--a hot spot--when I ride for the earlier of 5 hours or 90 miles.

Over the years, I have had custom run orthotics built twice, I have tried all sorts of insoles in my bike and running shoes, have shimmed my left bike shoe and tried different running shoes all in an attempt to put this to bed once and for all.

I am hopeful I have the final solution now.  Here's the deal:

• When I first started running, I was an overt heel striker.  That is no longer the case for 2 reasons: 1) I weigh less than when I began running in 1998 and 2) I have worked at my run form for years, and part of that work changed me into a midfoot striker.
• When I first started running, I used cushioned shoes (I still wear New Balance exclusively) due to my high arches, but back then, most running shoes had a fairly high rise up to the heel, and now there are many choices all the way down to zero rise.  Over the years, I gravitated towards progressively lighter weight shoes, and tried some with less heel rise and they seemed to just feel better with my new midfoot strike.
• I have Morton's Foot on both feet, meaning the 2nd metatarsal is longer than the first.  You probably have it if your second toe is longer than the first, but not necessarily.  There are all sorts of ways to check if you really have Morton's Foot.  What this does is that without proper arch support, you support your feet on the heads of the metatarsals, which can lead to pain in the ball of the foot and the toes.
• My two feet are different!  My left foot is longer and narrower, and is the one that I need to size my shoes to.  My right foot is shorter and a tiny bit wider.  The length difference is somewhere between 1/4" and 1/2", so in terms of shoe size it's not too bad, but the position of my arches is different on the two feet.

I thought I had nailed it by purchasing Aetrex orthotics that have both arch support plus metatarsal pads, only I was still experiencing ball of foot pain and numb toes regularly, most recently on yesterday's long run where the pain started 9 miles in.  But I have learned to just ignore it and press on.

Meanwhile, I'd purchased separate metatarsal pads to try based on this website.  I finally got around to trying their suggestion about pad placement today.  But, I had to fuck with which base insole would the pads be applied to.  I decided to keep the Aetrex in the left foot because it has a nice arch support, and I lifted a Spenco rigid arch support for my right foot and put the metatarsal pad on it.  I had to play with the pad placement a lot this morning, because at first it will feel all wrong no matter where you put it.

Well, I went for a 5+ mile run, and I had ZERO pain in my right foot!  No numb toes, either.  So fingers crossed, I've licked this.  That website I referenced talks about how many custom orthotics are built plain wrong, and I have a couple of pairs to prove it.

So what are the lessons here?

• Know your body.  Check for your feet being different because many of us aren't symmetrical, and this can lead to all sorts of problems.
• Check if you have Morton's Foot.  If you do and your feet are basically the same, then OTC orthotic should work for you, and I think the Aetrex are fabulous (for my left foot, anyway!).
• If you are using orthotics, don't assume they will work forever.  If you evolve as a runner like I did, odds are what used to work will eventually fail you.  
• Consider what type of running shoes you are using and whether they are really right for you.  Have someone look at your gait honestly.
• Be willing to experiment.

Fucking feet!  I'll keep you updated as I put some miles on myself, but I think I have found my answer!  Perhaps if I'd seen a podiatrist they might have figured this out, but I am not sure they would have.  I did see an ortho and a chiro through the years, neither of which helped.  In the end, it's up to me to determine whether something is actually working or not.

This is great since in 2 weeks I am going on a running binge!!!

Fuck it

Nobody is forced to read anything. You don't like it, look away.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!

Just when you think things can't get any worse, they do.

So I'm cleaning and moving things around downstairs, and like a dumbass, I decide to try and move this heavy shelf thing that I wanted out of my way. It is going in the trash, anyway.

I'm sliding it moving backwards and caught my right foot on something else in the way and could feel the fall in slow motion and my back being pulled something fierce at the same time, and it hurt while it happened.

Was able to stand up and immediately get my huge ice pack and lay down on it, and will begin icing/Vitamin I hourly. Last time I did this, I didn't get on the ice and was miserable, so perhaps I will only be down for the count today.

On the plus side, it's going to feel better standing up, and I can still continue on with some of the cleaning and moving of small items.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!

Update: Took some Vitamin I, on my second round of icing, and already I'm walking almost normally, can squat down and bend over (carefully). So, if I'm extra careful today, I may be able to spin on the bike and who knows? I may be able to run tomorrow...we'll see!

***UPDATED FUCKAGE***

I put a hard link to the 100% Fuckage Post on my sidebar. I just added a new video to it--the last one in the post, but here it is below if you've already seen the rest:


For extra fun, head to the post and play Big Lebowski and Jackie Brown at the same time!

A Few Corrections and Thanks

NothingMan is 9/13. A few days ago I said it was 42 days until, but even though I studied higher mathematics, sometimes mundane addition and subtraction escape me. 46 days from today! Phew...I get another week to train...

The vid below was sent to me by Kim right after IMLP. She reminded me that it belonged in the 100% Fuckage post, so it has a permanent home there, but I am also including it here together with a list of people I'd like to thank for...well...just for being upstanding human beings, putting up with my shit, encouraging me and all that blather. Turn it up! Apparently I know a lot of Mikes. If you're not in there, apologies, I just typed this off the top of my head!

Mike
Rob
Cindy
Mark
Steve
Shelley
Brian
Mike
Mike
Mike
Mark
Patricia
Susan
David
Mike
Lou
Deb
D
Kim
Kim
Karen
Ino
Al
Karen
Michelle
Laurie
Nick
Louis
Joe
Kevin
Russ
Chuck
Brett
Marty
Darren
Greg
Julie
Rob
Dave
Ian
Cindy
Jen
Jen
Matt
Jay
Rich
Rich
Sol
Brent
AJ
Analisa
Wolfgang
Julie
Anthony
Tyler
Jamie
Jamey
Patty
Ed
Lori
Kurt
Mike
Mike
Mike
Dino
Mike
Sarah
Stephanie
Hazel
Liana
Courtney
Fred
Pierre
Harlan
Cheryl
Pat
David
William
Harold
Judi
Jim
Peter
Vicky
Verne
Calvin
Gene
Oswaldo

100% Fuckage

Sometimes I just can't get enough. Results of my poll have said that I should not curb it, so even though it's Sunday, here's a good bit of it. This is not meant to imply anything to anyone. If you don't like it, get the fuck off my blog! Enjoy!

Please take my Poll

It's right on top on the sidebar...I need some help here!