This is the Part I Really Like

This is week 8 of high volume training. Here's what they've looked like, including this week through today:

Week Beg: Hours

4/28/2008	20.60
5/5/2008	19.12
5/12/2008	18.88
5/19/2008	20.50
5/26/2008	15.51
6/2/2008	22.08
6/9/2008	20.37
6/16/2008	6.08

That 5/26 week is a little blip trying to recover from Triple T.

I am really, REALLY feeling it this week. I am tired all the time. It's hard to stay awake (or at least vertical) while working. Mail is in piles unprocessed. I'm paying bills but not entering them into my checkbook (thank God for online bill pay). I'm managing to wash clothes and dishes and feed myself and train and work and sleep. That's IT!

I think I'm fat; I think I'm too skinny. I feel invincible; I feel helpless. I feel like I really know why I'm doing this; I feel like I have no idea why I keep doing this. I have a few great workouts; the rest I am so fucking tired maybe I should stop, but I just HTFU and get it done anyway. This is WAY harder than the actual Ironman race.

I absolutely LOVE riding all my bikes even when I'm so fucking tired and my legs are sore. It's summer! You are supposed to ride your bikes whenever you can! I love seeing so many people out riding bikes just to get from Point A to Point B, which is why I love riding my bike to and from the outdoor pool. I rode my bike to the eye doctor. I will ride anywhere I can. Next week I'll start riding a bike to get a massage. Biking is good! I can't do too much of it, can I? Even though I'm scheduled for 11 hours of biking this week, what's wrong with adding a couple more?

I've got this week and then 2 more big weeks and it's time for a taper. Good thing I forget how this part feels...because if I remembered, I might not ever do it again. It's crazy, it makes you feel like you're crazy, but then you know what? There is nothing else I'd rather be doing. NOTHING! All I want to do is workout and enjoy being outdoors and maybe throw a race in there. What could be better? Even when I'm running all tired out like I was today, hey it's a gift that I can run, right? So I should do it!

I smile even when I'm tired, because I love it. Every stinking part of it. I must love it to have done this for 8 years straight, right? I don't know any other way. This is my way.

I know some people are a little frightened or even intimidated by the whole Crackhead thing, but this is who I am. You don't have to like it. I don't need anyone's approval or blessing. I don't need a coach anymore to tell me maybe I'm doing too much because if it actually gets to be too much, I'll slow it down. Until then,

HARDEN THE FUCK UP.
Amen.

And here's something I love listening to to relax. I listened to this the day before IMLP last year and will probably do so again this time around. I can't wait! What can possibly be better than doing what you love with people you love and having fun at the same time? Nothing! And IMLP is really just preparation for the second full NothingMan!