The Joy of Impossibility

I am still working on my UMC race report. Remember, I said it is going to take me WEEKS to get it all down on virtual paper.

Meanwhile, today I am thinking about how life has given me signs or suggestions about things that I should try and do, and I have been either wise or stupid enough to follow through on them.

The reason I got into Ironman was because a man in Kona told me in 1999 that I would one day do an Ironman. Back when I announced to a group of people at a track workout that summer for my second marathon that I was going to do an Ironman and got some pretty incredulous looks, since I wasn't (and still am not) much of a runner, I thought it would take me 4 or 5 years to reach that goal. But I did my first Ironman in 2001, after a friend accelerated my plan.

I don't recall when I first heard about Ultraman, but I must have read about it during my initial immersion in all things triathlon. I knew of and had actually corresponded with Gordo Byrn back when he was just getting good and I was just starting out, and I must have followed along via some forum when he won Ultraman Hawaii in 2002. At the time, I was in awe of the distance, but since I had been tuned into many things about Kona in general and especially Ironman Hawaii, I was fascinated by this even longer triathlon taking place in Kona. I didn't meet Gordo in person until Triple T 2008. I was dumbstruck at meeting him, and here is proof.

Then in 2006 at the Miami Man 1/2 Ironman, I met Michael Hanreck, who was manning a small booth for Infinit. Because of that meeting, I ended up switching my long distance training and racing nutrition over to Infinit (best thing I ever did, by the way), and Michael told me I should do an Ultraman (he took 2nd at Ultraman Hawaii 2005). At the time, I still thought the idea of me doing Ultraman preposterous.

In 2008 when I was hanging out at Ironman Florida, I met Peter Kotland. He went on to take 4th place at Ultraman Hawaii that year and 3rd in 2009. Here I am with him at IMFL 2008. He dropped out of the race after 1/2 the marathon, using it as a training day for Ultraman. I didn't have much to say to him, viewing him as a celebrity athlete in a whole other echelon than me.

But, I think it was in late 2008 that I began thinking, hmmm...maybe this Ultraman thing isn't so far out of my reach. I'd been doing back to back long training days for about 4 years, and Ultraman is like 3 humongous training days back to back. In early 2009, I made a decision that I wasn't going to register for any Ironman races in 2010. It was really hard for me to resist the pull, with friends ganging up on me trying to get me to do it anyway. I was registered for Ironman Lake Placid and Ironman Canada for 2009, and that was going to be my swan song for Ironman. Something was telling me it was time to move on, but to what I didn't know.

2009 saw me really hitting my stride in triathlon, and it seemed every race I did turned to gold for me. Isn't it interesting that when you really begin to let go of something is when you can have some of your best performances? I successfully avoided signing up for another Ironman and had a personal best at Ironman Lake Placid. Along the way to that race, I neglected to make travel arrangements for Canada, and decided to bug out of it to save some money. Besides, I could always do another NothingMan!

And so a few weeks before Ironman Lake Placid last year, I began concocting my 3rd NothingMan adventure, which I ended up calling Revenge of the PirateMan, and you can read all about that here on my blog. Next, while planning PirateMan, I thought, hey, if I can do that, I pretty much could probably do Ultraman. It seemed like all the arrows were pointing to Ultraman. And then magically I received an email about applications for Ultraman Canada on 8/21, which was 1 week before I was going to do PirateMan. I think I got on their email list because earlier in the year I had asked about the race dates for 2010 in a fit of fantasy.

Well, hey, they sent me an application, and I decided, what the hell, fill it out and send it in. Part of me thought they wouldn't accept my application--after all, there are people out there far crazier than me! But Steve Brown turned around and replied the very next day that I was in! I still remember sitting in front of the computer reading that message. It sent chills up my spine that I hadn't felt since that very first time I registered for an Ironman.

You know how this all turned out, and also that before UMC, I said I was going to step away from long course racing for a year. Go ahead and call me a dirty whore liar!

Well, while I was in Canada, I suspended my subscription to the Chicago Tribune (yes I still receive a PAPER newspaper), and a few days after I returned from UMC, I got in the mail a copy of an article about Zach Gingerich, a local guy to me who won Badwater 2010. It was sent to me by my sister in law. I have read about Badwater and other ultramarathons over the years, as there are many great books written by runners, and there is much inspiration I find in them plus a sense of kinship. Of course, I had to drop everything and read the article immediately!

I have told a number of people lately that I did Ultraman, and a few of them have turned right around and asked me not IF, but WHEN am I doing Badwater? The answer right now is still NEVER. But who knows? I have discovered that I do these things not because I want the title of Ironman or Ultraman or whatever you call someone who finishes Badwater (Bad Ass comes to mind, though), but because they seem like the next logical step in my life's journey. And so I view my training and racing not as some obsessive compulsive habit I've developed, but something I was led to in order to find and improve myself so that I can better serve others. Serve others? Go ahead and laugh, but yes, a very big part of my MO has always been to be a shining example to others of what you CAN do if you decide to make the effort, that working towards a goal that might have seemed impossible at one time is its own reward, and that there is great joy to be had in doing so. And a way I can give back is to infect others with that same joy, and that same (OK it doesn't have to equal mine) work ethic.

Yesterday afternoon I went grocery shopping. I parked in my new favorite parking spot, which is something I adopted just a few months ago (yet another change in my whirlwind of change that is 2010). Coming out of the store, I saw a police car parked next to me, but not in an actual designated parking spot. Of course, my first thought, is "Oh CRAP what did I do?" I was pretty sure I wasn't in a handicapped spot, so I continued to enjoy the downhill with the shopping cart, and I have this special maneuver where I let go of the cart, run out in front of it and catch it before it hits my car. The officer didn't come right out and stop me, but I was still wary that maybe there was some violation I had committed. I loaded my groceries into the car, got in and started the engine, and THEN the officer comes over to my window. I said, "Did I do something wrong?" And he says, "No, I noticed the triathlon stickers on your car and wondered if you could give me some advice on getting started in triathlon." OMG, this guy really knows how to pick them, huh? Well, I shut off the engine, got out, and we had a nice chat. I felt bad, because of course, all this stuff was coming out of my mouth, including that I'd just done Ultraman, but I think I was able to settle down (he was nice to look at, too, which caught me off guard) and focus more on him, his background, and I gave him my email address which I hope he takes advantage of because I'd really like to help him (in person, too, if I didn't scare him off). And it turns out he knows someone I know, and well, it IS indeed a small world, and it seems as if opportunities of all sorts are being presented to me in an accelerated fashion.

What does any of this have to do with Badwater? Nothing. I leave you with my all-time favorite quote, which continues to resonate with me on a daily basis:

To achieve satisfaction in everything
Desire it in nothing.
To possess everything,
Desire to have nothing.
To be everything,
Desire to be nothing.
To know everything,
Desire to know nothing.
--John of the Cross

I can't wait to do my 4th NothingMan on 9/19!

Also This is Awesome

My friend Marty made me this cartoon. I will treasure it always!

The Official Race Report Begins...NOW!!!

Hold on to your shorts and prepare to be dazzled by my wit! I still can't say how long it will take to get through all of it, but you may get an idea by reading this first installment, which is just about the swim! Enjoy!

Day 1: 10K swim
Goal: 4 hours
Actual: 4:15. Why? I think there were currents in there!

I did 14 swims in training of 8,000 or more yards. The first one of those I did was on 12/7/2009. I did one full 10K swim on New Year’s Day 2010, too. All my training was in a pool, and on race day, other than the short (:25) practice swim with the kayak on Thursday before the race, I had not done an open water swim since Ironman Lake Placid 2009. I would usually pull for several thousand yards of these swims, including paddles, thinking it would make me stronger and more fatigue resistant. I think it worked! I’m no great swimmer and didn’t get any faster (I averaged about 11,500 yards per week for the entire season), but I didn’t get any slower, either. Just as I structure my run and bike workouts to get progressively faster (harder), I would model my long swims in the same way. When I initially made my training plan in September, 2009, I had all these grandiose ideas about these mega-interval sets for the long swims, but I ended up just swimming 1000, 1500, 2000 or sometimes more straight free and then do a little kicking while I drank some Infinit, whatever I could do to make the time go by quickly, then do pulling, then pulling with paddles, and even some swimming with the fins on. I also found that I needed to replace all the calories I’d burned immediately after these swims if I had any hopes of remaining upright and living to train the next day. I could only get this much lap swim time starting at 5AM, and I did these beasts on Fridays before work. I learned pretty quickly that I needed to have my glycogen stores loaded the night before, eat about 250 calories right when I woke up, drink the requisite amount of calories from Infinit per hour while swimming, and then eat an entire meal as soon as I got home. The first few 8,000+ swims beat the shit out of me. My rationale was that a 3-hour ride doesn’t trash me very much, and that a 2-3 hour swim should be much easier, and should tire me out less than a 2-hour run, right? Wrong. Initially, at least. Again, learning and practicing the proper night before, morning of, during swim and post-swim nutrition was critical. Plus I had read race reports (thanks, Vince!) of others who really screwed themselves in Ultraman by not ingesting sufficient fluid and/or calories during the swim.

Come race day, I knew I had the endurance and strength to swim 10K not exactly “comfortably,” but I wouldn’t be gassed. And I’d practiced the nutrition thing for many months. My only source of fear was chop in the water. When I did the practice swim with my ace kayaker, Steve, on Thursday evening, we did it in Lake Okanagan, and it was windy and choppy and I freaked out a bit, but I KNEW I was freaking out, so I just let it happen and then I calmed back down. However, if Skaha Lake had been as choppy as that on race day, I am sure I would have had some problems. Or not. Who knows?

Let me back up. On Friday, I drank only Gatorade (no plain water) to super-load my body with sodium in case it got hot. I also ate two Lava Salts right before going to bed. I always do the nighttime salt tabs before an Ironman or really long training day (7+ hours) as a “just in case.” On race morning, I choked down 600 calories of Ultrafuel and ate a Power Bar Triple Threat for a total of about 830 calories plus 1 or 2 small cups of coffee, and then I sipped maybe another 50 calories of Gatorade while setting up at the swim start. I usually take in 400 calories of Ultrafuel plus eat about 200 calories something else on training days where I am going 5+ hours, and for 3-5 hours I might just do 200-300 calories of Ultrafuel. I have been using that stuff ever since I began training for my first ½ Ironman at the advice of my first coach. The stuff is not very expensive and works. It is great on a race day because even for say, just an Ironman, you don’t get any calories while you swim, but you burn a bunch, and it tides you over until you can start taking in calories again on the bike. When I drink it though, it puts me into an insulin coma, and I get chills, my nose runs, I might even gag a few times, and I want to lie down. In training I can drink it just an hour before go time, but on race day I like 2-3 hours ahead. The insulin coma only lasts about 15 minutes anyway. For Ultraman, I decided that 600 calories of Ultrafuel would be better since I would be running a high caloric deficit by the end of each day, so I may as well start with a super-loaded tank. It was the right thing to do.

I started with a brand new pair of Tyr junior whatever goggles. I had tried an Aquasphere mask that worked for me ONCE in training then thereafter leaked, and I’d tried countless goggles with silicone gaskets that just didn’t work for me. But I was OK coming out after long swims with raccoon face (or as I liked to call it, “accident victim”), and same on race day. I wore my 1-piece sushi suit that was faded. I was on my second one of these suits, and I always wore it for the long swims because the straps didn’t dig into my shoulders. I have many nice Splish suits, including custom suits, but I would only wear those during my Monday/Wednesday shorter swims.

Here is a short video that gives you perspective on just how far a 10K swim in Skaha Lake is:



Anyway, after I talked to Steve and everything was loaded into the kayak, they made us all pose for a group picture. I about broke down and cried, which was to be a regular occurrence during the event. Not so much out of fear, but out of actually being there, actually doing the race that I’d worked so hard to train for for so long. Tears of joy, mostly! And also acknowledging the magnitude of what we were all doing.















Steve Brown told us all to get in the water, and the kayakers were already out a little ways, and that our paddlers would have to find us or vice versa, so I spied where Steve was and walked in. I did not do a warm-up swim, are you kidding me??? Plenty of time to warm up while doing the swim! Then we all counted down from either 10 or 5—I can’t remember—and we were officially on our way. Skaha Lake was nice and calm, although earlier Steve Brown had warned the kayakers about some chop and hearing that frightened me a little, but then I forgot about it.

After the countdown, I just bent over, put my face in and started swimming! The cool water felt so good; since my pool was usually around 85 degrees (my guess is the lake was 70-72). I could tell this water was clean, too. I just started swimming and felt completely relaxed, much like my training swims. I had so many people ask me during training how I could swim that long, and my response always was that it is a form of meditation to me. NOBODY can get to you while you are swimming, and besides, I really like to count ;) I found Steve pretty easily, and we settled into our route, with him leading the way. I think that he picked a perfect line down that lake, and if he happens to be able to get to Kona in 2011, I’d be honored to have him paddle for me in the Ultraman there.

The plan was for Steve to stop me every 40 minutes to drink some Infinit, which he had on ice in the boat. He had this floaty thing he would put on the end of the paddle to make it, well, FLOAT, and stick it out and that made it easy for me to grab on and hold while I drank. The first time he signaled me, I sort of got indignant and yelled, “THAT CAN’T BE FORTY MINUTES!” And then he asked how I was feeling, and I said, “This is all very surreal.” For, in fact, the 40 minutes had gone by in the blink of an eye. It felt to me like I had finally succeeded in not thinking at all, even though I was somehow commanding my body to swim. If I could bottle that feeling, I’d be a rich woman! I felt like serenity personified. The Infinit was ice cold, so cold; in fact, I’d get a chill from drinking it. But I knew that I needed those calories.

The second 40 minutes also went by quickly and once again Steve asked me how I was feeling and once again I said, “This is still all so surreal.” I was still in a meditative state and feeling really great. I’m figuring I am about 4K into the swim, and I think I was right, but how could we tell? The first buoy is at the 8K mark, and you couldn’t see it from shore, and you couldn’t see it 4K in, either. I just focused on swimming relaxed and turning to breathe and look at the kayak. Steve said to me, “You are doing FUCKING awesome.” And I looked behind me and saw other kayaks a ways back and was shocked that I would be ahead of anyone.

Sometime after this, I’m not sure how far in, we hit this area of totally calm, glassy water. It was calmer than my pool! This made me laugh, which is tough to do while swimming, but you can sort of do it as you exhale underwater, and finally I had to stop and tell Steve that, “This is like a swimming pool!” He probably thought I was nuts, but we soldiered on. It was at this point that I actually began kicking, which I usually don’t do in a wetsuit, and sometimes my calves would cramp up a little bit, but I know how to work those out, and I was shocked not only that I could kick—I could stroke, kick, breathe AND PEE all at once! In my wetsuit! I think I ended up peeing 7 or 8 times during the swim—the combination of the cool water, the ice-cold Infinit (with caffeine!!!) and the Ultrafuel helped that. Anyway, once I started on the kicking, I kept doing it the rest of the time. It was such a new thing to me kicking in a wetsuit, and I’m glad I am now comfortable doing it!

I don’t know how far in we were when this motorboat came by with our head photographer, Rick Kent, on board. I did not know they would take photos of us during the swim! It turns out there were a lot of things that surprised me during the 3 days, and that was a good thing. Anyway, he tells Steve to go off a bit so he can snap just me swimming. I don’t remember if Steve did, but then I decided to just stand up and try and jump up out of the water with a huge smile on my face. Some yards after this, Steve tells me I’m quite the poser for the camera. We had a good laugh about that.

The glass didn’t last too long, but I was pretty good through about 7K. That is the point even in my practice swims where I would start to realize I was swimming a lot. Nothing really hurt, though—my deltoids got a tad sore only from wearing the wetsuit. The longest swim I had done with the wetsuit on was 6700 yards, so it made sense to me that my delts would tell me they weren’t happy. But the rest of me was just fine—I had applied copious amounts of Body Glide under my swimsuit straps and seams and on my neck. For awhile, I thought I might be chafing on the neck, but it turned out to be Lee’s expert closure of my wetsuit, and I didn’t experience any chafing from the swim! Also, in case no other athlete’s race report points this out, we do not wear chips, nor does anyone write numbers on you for Ultraman! With only 39 people starting, why would we need body numbers or chips? So why was my race number 103 with only 39 starters???

In training, I always spend equal amounts of time breathing on my left and right sides. I enjoy playing around with breathing patterns—it gives me something to do, you know? Helps make the yards go by quickly. But in races I typically go with right side only. I was concerned that I would jack up my neck muscles by doing this, but I was just fine breathing only to the right. There were a few times I would go bilateral, and it was just to have a change of pace.

When we finally got to that 8K turn buoy, the water had picked up a little chop, but nothing that made me nervous, but man that last 2K seemed to take FOREVER! Now you can see the shore, and I’m like hell bent on getting the fuck out of this lake! Not that I hadn’t enjoyed the swim, but I wanted poor Steve to be able to get on with his day and I still had some biking to do! It was a tough last 2K, but finally I got into shallow water, and again surprised myself by just standing up and not falling over! After my pool swims, I would feel a little woozy getting out after several hours, but I was fine today. But I realized my stomach was a bit jumbled. The other thing is that my resting heart rate has gone in the dumpster from this training, so sometimes when I stand up after lying down I feel a bit dizzy because my heart can’t catch up. I am just happy that someone told me that it’s normal for my low resting HR.















So I get out, and now the fun begins. I see the clock and I’m like WHAT THE FUCK WHERE DID THOSE EXTRA :15 COME FROM? But I was chill with it because I knew I wouldn’t have trouble with the first ride. My crew came and got me and supported me, and for some reason I felt compelled to RUN to the changing tent where all my crap had been stashed. Once again, I was surprised, I did not even think that the swim started in one place and ended someplace completely different, and that my crew had to travel there and get all this crap ready for me to come out of the water. They stripped my wetsuit, and I began changing, not in a total hurry, but not lollygagging either. They put sunscreen on me (Lee and Mona were in the tent with me and all my naked glory), got me dressed, and then Richard was standing by with my bike, which somehow had gotten to the new location as well (I was amazed by all this), and now I have to mount my bike and get riding.

Please note that at Ultraman they don’t time your transitions, so as soon as you finish swimming, the time becomes part of your bike time. I am hoping I didn’t spend more than :10 in transition, and I know I can do this a bit faster at Ultraman Hawaii.

What I Did Well
I swam steadily and did not slow down too much except for the currents. I executed my nutrition perfectly and did not chafe. I enjoyed myself, sucking in all the wonder of what I was doing. I learned how to pee without stopping my stroke, and I learned how to kick while wearing my wetsuit.

What I Can Improve On
I plan on either getting some swim coaching or swimming with my local Masters team once a week this fall or both, depending on what the Masters coach thinks will be best for me. I would like to be fast enough to complete a 10K swim in 3:30, and I think that is a reasonable goal. That would give me a nice cushion for Hawaii in case of swells and currents. For Hawaii, since it is guaranteed to be hot, I will wear part of my biking kit so there is less changing for me to do. Or maybe not, because it's good to get the salt water all off you once you come out of the ocean.

What Concerns me About Hawaii
I've swum in decent swells, but not sure about currents. My biggest concern though, is jellyfish. I've had allergic reactions to bee and wasp stings, and heard the sea lice are a bit troublesome. I already know what it's like to swim and see 50-75 feet down into the fish bowl. I may try some other goggles again, since while I did not get a headache this time, I wouldn't mind a bit more comfort.

We All Have a Crew

I keep meaning to write up an actual race report for UMC, but I might just save it for a book I want to write. In the meantime, while I train (yes, I’m training again, just not so much), instead of needing to think of so many details about the race or things I need to get done immediately (I have a giant “to do” list going that I will begin to chip away at soon), I am relaxed enough to think about what’s going on inside my head.

Over the last 10 years, Ironman training and racing (and now Ultraman) has become my vehicle for self-discovery and self-improvement, not just in the athletic arena, but my entire life. I got a lot out of the Ironman years and pushed through many personal challenges where I felt alone in many ways, but learned to accept more and more help from others. I tend to try and do as much on my own as possible, and it has made me a strong, confident woman, but I also know that life is about helping others, so as I sought to also help others I found it easier to reach out and ask for help myself.

Aside from the distances involved, Ultraman is much different than Ironman because you are required to have a crew. One cannot complete Ultraman alone. This was very new to me, but a year ago, I thought, hey, I shouldn’t have any problems getting a crew from amongst my friends, should I? I turned out to be wrong. Asking someone to crew for you for Ultraman is a big deal. The crew is as busy, at times busier, than the athlete for several days pre-race and post-race. If I were wealthy, I would offer to pay all the crew’s travel expenses, but I’m not, so I couldn’t offer that. What could I offer them? The opportunity to be part of a team effort that I would be forever grateful for.

Initially I did have two people offer to crew for me, but they changed their minds. This was a disappointment, but I didn’t get too concerned, as the race will find you a crew if you can’t find your own, and now I know there are some very wonderful people out there who crew year after year, offering their help (kokua, in Hawaiian) to athletes they have never met. In March, out of seemingly nowhere, Lee tells me she has bought plane tickets to Penticton to crew for me. It made me feel so odd that someone who had just been reading my blog for about a year and lives in Japan would do that for me. I was just closing my Dad’s estate after just over 2 years of working my butt off to get things done and maintain my own composure while being helped by some wonderful people, but also struggling with some people whose mission seemed to be to try and bring me to my emotional and spiritual knees.

Just from talking to Lee via Facebook and email I could tell she was reliable and wouldn’t bug out on me no matter what. I was just beginning the phase of some inner doubts as to my ability to make it to the UMC start line, and Lee (and a few others) listened and gave me more reasons to not throw in the towel. I still needed two additional crew members, preferring people I knew at least over the Internet! Once again, my cries for help were answered by Richard and Mona.

So you know the rest of the story, right? Lee, Richard, Mona and Steve (Steve was my most excellent kayaker and swim navigator) crewed for me at Ultraman Canada and I cannot thank them enough for what they did. Having lived by myself the last 16 years, 10 of which have been spent in elite-level triathlon training and relying mostly on myself for so many things, it was such a delight to be taken care of by these people! I still miss Mom and Dad, and while they had a hands-off strategy with me which is part of what has made me the person that I am (“too independent” remarked my Mom many years ago, much to her chagrin), I was so happy to be cared for like a baby! When it comes down to it, the Ultraman athlete is moving, eating, peeing and pooping. We call out when we need something, we grimace when we don’t know what we want, we get paranoid if we don’t see our caretakers often enough. We need constant attention and a feeling that we are loved and special. We enjoy others entertaining us via music, funny hats and clothes and signage.

While I was out riding this weekend (I rode 2 hours on Saturday and meant to do 3 on Sunday, but I started too late and only got in 2 hours before the rain arrived, and I had other things to do), I looked back on my life and realized that I have always had a “crew” of sorts around me—I just didn’t acknowledge it. And I thought we all do, but we don’t always know it. After all, we are all here to help one another get the most out of life and endure what it throws at us. Funny how I am getting near the end of the book, “Sacred Journey of the Peaceful Warrior,” and it notes the same thing, only “teacher” instead of “crew.” I will stick with crew, because that is how I think about it.

I had thought crew were only the ones who do good things for you and intentionally take care of you, but it is much more than that. Crew includes people who mistreat you so you can learn that that is not how you want to live your life, or they are in a constant state of anger, even AT you, and you develop compassion for them and others that way. Crew includes those who tell you you CAN when you think you CAN’T. Crew is someone who won’t congratulate you on your accomplishments even as you congratulate them on theirs, because they remind you that everyone deserves to be buoyed up while pursuing a dream and certainly given real or virtual hugs when they achieve the goal. Crew is the person who tried to bring you down with false accusations that required you to bite your tongue so that you would learn in another situation that silence is sometimes the best reaction. Crew is the person who nearly told me I sucked at swimming but held his tongue and said I was doing pretty well for my experience level and gave me a few tips. Crew is some awesome fast people I know who sometimes would slow down their training to accommodate me. Crew is someone I barely know coming to fetch me and my bike with an unrepairable flat a couple of miles from home after being flagged down by her neighbor. Crew is a stranger getting the last 6 inches of tire onto my rim after another flat where I had failed to bring tire levers with me and my thumbs were both blistered. Crew is one of my college professors who made me sit for a unique final exam in statistics as punishment for either cutting or sleeping through many of his classes—I sat in front of him filling out the exam and completed it in 1.5 hours when we had 4 hours to do it. Crew is my junior high P.E. teacher who managed to get me to do my first cartwheel (in 7^th grade), and lit a spark in me that eventually grew into where I am now. Crew is the people who body-surfed me up onto the stage at a corporate user conference because they said I “needed” to be up there dancing with the band. Crew is the person who told me I must be the shit for getting into Ironman Hawaii and doing 2 Ironman’s in the same year (I have gone on to do 4 doubles—one more coming up soon!). Crew is a person telling me I’m a self-centered, bipolar exhibitionist, because there may be some truth to it for me to consider. Crew is a person telling me to go ahead and yell at them because they understood my stress and frustration over not getting my custom bicycle when I had wanted it. Crew is a person delivering a brand new cassette to my house that I had hoped to have a week earlier. Crew is someone making fun of me and calling me slow in front of others that I took to be a serious comment and spurred me to train harder. Crew is someone telling me I should be “softer” at times and realizing that it couldn’t hurt. Crew are all the near strangers who held me while I cried after the death of my Dad for months. Crew is whoever got me back to my dorm room in college after way too much tequila. Crew is another athlete who was slowing down and I wanted to stop and chat with him, but him telling me to “keep going you are doing great” as I passed him. Crew is someone I knew but did not know would be in Kona the year I raced there and catching sight of me and cheering. Crew is all the people I know who have put up with my antics, thinking I am a tad out there, and yet offering me their friendship.

By the way, all the “you’s” above are truths about ME. Crew also includes my regular service providers who have listened to me over the course of one or many years as I continued pursuing this passion of mine and I sometimes forgot to listen to them talk about theirs. I felt so bad the last few months for not having time to do my usual cheerleading on Facebook for everyone who was training and racing or doing other wonderful things. Crew is cheerleaders, and there is nothing I can think of that gives me greater joy than to observe someone else doing the thing that gives them happiness. I love to shout, laugh, do silly things, wear attention-getting clothes (and bikes!) and be the person with the biggest smile on her face, but also give someone a sweaty hug or soft words of encouragement or knowing when they are having a bad patch in a race—whichever is needed at the time. I can’t wait to do that at Ironman Wisconsin in a few weeks.

I hope I am being good crew for the others in my life, and now I will try and name as many of my crew as possible!

Lee, Richard, Mona, Steve S., Susan W., Cindy, Mark, Clorinda, Caryn, Mike M., Laurie, Mike O., David B., Mike P., William, Jen, Nick M., Nick O., Wayne, Rick P., Rob, Kevin, Jostein, Stan, Ken, Ali, Deanna, Jeff H., Shelley, Patricia, Dino, Vicky, Steve C., Eric, Erik, Julie, Maurice, Jon, Larry, Brad, Morgan, Mike C., Jamie, Jamey, Marty, Brett, Commodore, Jeff R., Jason, Greg, Ian, Lee C., Rich D., Tom, Mike H., Brent, A.J., Mj, Al, Adam B., Adam Z., Matt, Amanda, Amy, Andy, Anne, Rich S., Anthony, Leah, Katie P., Katie J., Cathy, Cheryl, Dave B., Deirdre, Denise, DPR, Gary, Judy, Joe S., Kim, Kurt, Lisa, Louis, Mike L., Peter, Susan A., Trevor, Vince D., Derrick, Mike A., Bob, Linda, Dave V., Eddie, Joe B., Chris S., Jerny, Chris C., Patty, Darren, Lori, David G., Walt, Forrest, Regina, Brenda, John J., Carl, Frank, Lora, Tony, Harlan, Ino, Alex, Mary Jo, Judi, Mike L., Jim W., Marc, Tom Z., Cameron, Dr. K., Cal, Dr. P., Dr. V., Dr. A., Dr. B., Harold, Gailmarie, Jim M., Vladtko, Val, Dan, Chip, Vince A., Debbie, Pascal, Alex

If your name is not in the list above, please don’t be offended—it just means you are not on Facebook, in my email contacts or my cell phone, or I can’t remember right now. But I love you anyway!

Photos from Ultraman Canada

http://www.flickr.com/photos/crackheadfe/sets/72157624568512147/

Play the slideshow. It is FANTASTIC! Thanks again to my friend, crew member and pacer, Lee, for taking these and allowing me to share them!

My Happy Season Totals

This past Sunday was the official end of my 2009-2010 training and racing season. I've stopped posting my weekly totals here because, well, it's boring, but I figure some people might be interested in what I did overall, so here goes!

Season Totals	08/31/2009-08/07/2010
Swim:	563375 yards (319.74 miles) in 193.64 hours Planned Yards: 626664 Hours: 226.29
Bike:	Approx. 5305.12 miles in 290.86 hours Planned Hours: 351.22
Run:	Approx. 1453.54 miles in 227.01 hours Planned Hours: 248.51
Strength:	70.19 hours Planned Hours: 55.64
All Sports:	Approx. 7078.4 miles in 781.7 hours; approx. 343064 calories burned Planned Hours: 881.66
Walking/Hiking:	Approx. 75.51 miles in 18.32 hours
Stretching:	125.13 hours. Massage: 42.05 hours

A couple of things to note: If you add the walking/hiking time to overall, I hit 800.02 hours total ;) I was actually hell bent last week to get that total to 800, being OCD and all. That was the most running I've ever done in a season, and close to the most swimming I've ever done in a season (my most was 2003-2004, but I got faster since then). That was not the most biking I've done, but that's OK, I could go back and figure out that from January-July it probably was. I cut back on my biking from September-December last year at the expense (and for good reason) of swimming and running.

It's funny to look at how much I'd originally planned, and what I actually hit. I now know that I about top out between 750-800 hours of training in a year. I just can't put in more than that while working fulltime and having some semblance of a life. So I do the best I can on that volume. Truly, I love training so much that if I worked part time I expect I might go up to 850 or so, but as the years go on, I expect that as long as my performance is reasonable in races, I won't feel compelled to stretch it.

Now for the weekly averages:

Season Weekly Averages	08/31/2009-08/07/2010
Swim:	11497 yards (6.52 miles) in 3.95 hours
Bike:	Approx. 108.27 miles in 5.94 hours
Run:	Approx. 29.66 miles in 4.63 hours
Strength:	1.43 hours
All Sports:	Approx. 144.46 miles in 15.95 hours
Sleep:	9.13 hours avg./night
Stretching:	2.55 hours avg./week. Massage: 0.86 hours avg./week

Things to note: My average swim yardage is right around 10km! Which is what one would expect, right? Since I'm not a lifelong swimmer, I know from the past that I do best when I am at about 10,000 yards per week, just for Ironman, but when it comes to swimming, more is more. It is tough to hurt yourself swimming a lot (provided you do what I did and build up your core and upper back/shoulders to be bullet proof), and besides, the aerobic conditioning you get from it is unsurpassed! I really believe that I was able to ramp up everything because of this. Plus if you think about doing an Ultraman, you find that you will need to ingest nutrition during the swim, and I just got super precision about my calorie intake in training, because if I wasn't always replacing what I burned, I would be dead in a ditch from glycogen depletion!

I can't believe I stretched that much! But again, during this cycle, I stretched whenever I had time, like in the sauna after swimming, waiting in line at the grocery store, dentist or doctor(I didn't track that time, though), and then I had my daily post-work stretching/yoga/trigger point work and a beer time. I spent more time stretching my upper body than in years past because of all the swimming.

The running is actually a little more because of the walking/hiking which isn't included in the weekly averages.

Again, the biking is less than years past because I cut way back last fall/early winter.

All told, though, my average total weekly hours was the highest ever, same for stretching, running, swimming, and...SLEEP! You can see why I had no social life, right? But it was all worth it, and I'm ready to do it again.

Since my A race for 2011 is Ultraman Hawaii, I have many months in which to do not much if I so choose. I really don't need to start training until January, but it is still summer and so I will bike as much as I feel like because I love it, do modest amounts of swimming, and get in some good running. My plan is to do a full NothingMan in 4 weeks (yikes guess I should start training, huh?), and then run the marathon at CheaterMan (Ironman Florida). So that will be another couple of marathons (I don't plan on doing any 50-milers at this point, but who knows?), and then I'm thinking about Gasparilla in February next year instead of the more expensive Goofy Challenge. That should set me up for my run block (and of course, I will do the local indoor triathlons), and then I will either find some local-ish cheaper 1/2 IM's or just do fucking NothingMan's on my own. Part of what got to me mentally this time around was not racing between early March and end of July. Ironman Sado is in September, which is great timing, and I will do it as a training race (as someone pointed out to me, now "Ironman is for breakfast!"), be able to recover and then head to Kona in November.

I hope to get a bit faster on the swim and run, but I think that will come more from just my body having been exposed to what I did over the last year. I pretty much just don't want to slow down, you know? For the 10 years that I have been doing triathlon, I have accumulated about 7400 total training hours. Some sources say the magic number is 10,000 when you can really be a champion. Who knows? Maybe I will still pursue that qualification for Ironman Hawaii, but for now, it's

ULTRA, BABY!!!

and oh I just registered for Gasparilla Michelob Ultra Challenge!!! I've already updated my race plans on the sidebar ;)

WOW!!!

I have pages and pages of notes about UMC that I will get around to writing up, but I still need time to just savor in the good feelings. Besides, despite not having a bunch of training to do this weekend, it seems I have a million things to do, not the least of which is putting away all the crap (after doing laundry) I took with me, and s-l-o-w-l-y reassembling Skull Kingdom (the bars are back on and this afternoon I'll put the cages back on behind the seat post).

Backup: Don't think I ever posted a pic of Skull Kingdom here, so finally I am putting one here.


I managed to cook up a bunch of meat last night--chicken, steak and turkey burgers--that should last me through the week. I tend to eat a lot of protein right after these big events (and while training, I guess), and since I won't be training so much for awhile (famous last words, I know!), the protein will keep my mind off of constant snacks and the items which are currently banned from my cupboard: Twinkies, candy and Pepperidge Farm cookies. There is a Pepperidge Farm factory about 1.5 miles from my house, and on the right day, I can ride right by it and smell whatever they are baking. When it's something with cinnamon, it makes me nuts! These are my current favorite cookies of theirs. I looked at them yesterday in the grocery store, and somehow was able to resist their sweet pull.

Lee left me with a whole bunch of snacks from Japan, and I wolfed down a bunch of them Wednesday and Thursday, when I was still allowing myself to indulge a little bit. I have a Black Thunder Bar that I will eat today because I plan on riding maybe 3 hours, but the rest of the stuff, some of it I am not sure whether I am supposed to eat it or do something else with it! I will have to ask her, but I won't even be able to say what is on the labels!

Speaking of training, on Friday morning I went and swam. I purposely slacked on the time I got to the pool so I wouldn't do something silly like swim 3,000 yards. Besides, I am in a chatty, social mood right now, so I figured that if I swam 1/2 hour it would be good enough. When I first started, I felt like a brick, but after 300 yards, it felt great. You know what? I really like swimming. It is so quiet in the water, my body is gently supported, gliding along feels wonderful. It's funny that I was swimming sets of 1500's and 2000's just a few weeks ago, right? 500 feels like nothing. Surprisingly, my speed picked up as I went, and I even tried "racing" a guy next to me, but when I really tried to pick it up, my body told me that I'm recovering and should take it easy. He probably thought I suck, but hey, I don't care what anyone thinks!

Yesterday I woke up at 3:30AM, because my internal clock is messed up. I had slept what I thought enough, but I should have stayed in for more, but I was awake. I laid in bed for another hour and then got up and started doing things. By 7AM I was back at the pool, and put in an easy 2,000 yards. I could have done more, but I had to jabber. I wore my swim cap from UMC just like yesterday. I don't usually wear my race caps to the pool, but this is a bit different for me. Maybe it seems obnoxious, but for now I am basking in the good feelings I have and a slight sense of pride. I know--pride is one of the 7 deadly sins, but I never said I wasn't a sinner!

About 1.5 hours later I got on LGL to go for a 2-hour ride. I figured that would be the most I should ride, and if it was less, fine. Not like I NEEDED to go for a ride. But I have to tell you, it felt FANTASTIC!!! Almost like I had extra power in my legs! That is the beauty of doing big things--it gives you such a fitness boost that even if you went slowly (and I didn't ride hard at all in UMC--that would have been a poor strategy for a first-timer--except for on Day 2 the last 30K where we were going downhill with a tailwind), within 1 or 2 weeks you can feel the "pop."

I wore the black/white pirate singlet that I wore last year during IMLP, and I think I had the biggest smile on my face the whole way, because everyone was smiling back at me (maybe because I wore low cut DSS shorts and my muffin top was hanging out). While I can't say it's hilly near home for biking (although they are good for running), I stood up on the ups and was loving it. When I finished, I could feel my left knee (the one with no ACL) was a bit sore, so I stored that information up.

I had to go grocery shopping, then cook, grabbed a few parts from the garage for Skull Kingdom, did some stretching while cooking, finished eating my salad while cooking, then did a bit more stretching before finally sitting down to eat. I was in bed at 7:30PM and read for about 1/2 hour (still working on "Secrets of the Peaceful Warrior" and it's still excellent) before crashing. I slept 10 hours last night and it was sorely needed. I will try and do the same tonight.

This morning I am going to head out on Bitchie!!! It will be odd to ride her as the position is so different from Skull Kingdom, but I do love her. Once I get Skull Kingdom put back together (maybe tonight), I am going to give LGL, SK and Bitchie all good cleanings and get a photo of them all together. I am so blessed to have 3 beautiful, awesome bikes. Nothing against Clipless Fuck, but she needs to be cleaned up, too, since I do like trail riding in the fall, and she's been in the garage without that rear tire changed for several months! I know, I know--BAD bike owner. CF is a pretty nice bike, too. I never thought I'd have 4 nice bikes, and I do like riding them all!

Depending on how I feel, I want to ride about 3 hours today. I'm not training, but I can't run just yet, and it's still summer, so why not? I do want to ride Bike Psychos 200k, which is on August 29, and it's a nice, mostly flat ride (my definition of "flat" includes rolling hills) that I can knock out in 7 hours. It will be nice to have a change in perspective that a 7-hour ride is really not that long, eh? And then I plan on going up to Ironman Wisconsin to cheer for everyone I know (and those I don't know) that is racing, and plan on riding some bike (I haven't decided which one yet) from the stick out to the loop, loop in reverse direction of the racers so I can see them and they can see me (I'm told I'm quite popular out there) then back on the stick ahead of the race so I can put the bike away and get out on the run course. Geez, by that time I could probably run the marathon, right?

So today I'm thinking about some of my fellow UMC finishers are doing an Ironman soon, and I feel like I should be doing one. As it turns out, Ironman Cozumel still has spots available, at least according to Active.com. That would be a nice race to do, and would qualify as my "beach vacation" that I think I need. Or, I could just do a NothingMan, which I traditionally do the weekend after Ironman Wisconsin. It just feels like such a waste to me to have only done one long-distance race this year, when for the last 3 years I have done 2 Ironman's. OK so I just did more than 2 at once, but it was just one race, right?

I remember several years ago telling a close friend that I was going to retire from long-distance training/racing, and he assured me I was lying. I said the same thing before UMC that I was going to take time after the race to ponder the next year and probably not do anything long. There have been a few people who told me that they KNEW I would want to do Ultraman Hawaii if I finished UMC. Um...they were right!

As long as I find some more money, I am going to apply for entry to Ultraman Hawaii 2011. Lee is going to be on my crew as Captain, and I am looking for 2 others. The gig is the same as I described it before, only this time I can't cover land expenses (hotel/condo/food) for crew. I will still pick up all the supplies for during the race and take care of the crew as is customary, but the plan is to find and rent a large condo that will be split amongst the occupants. I plan on staying after the race for 4-5 days, too. Race information is here. I don't see the 2011 dates posted yet, but it is always the weekend of Thanksgiving.

Remember how I used to go to Kona on vacation every year for a long time? The last time I went on "just vacation" was in 2003, and at that time I decided that it was too expensive for me to make that trip and also fund my Ironman habit. So I decided that I would not go again until I qualified for Ironman Hawaii. And then the universe smiled on me and I got a lottery slot for Hawaii in 2004 (same year I did Ironman Canada). And then I told myself I would not go back again until I qualified, nor would I enter the lottery again. So, WOW, I didn't qualify for Ironman Hawaii--I qualified for ULTRAMAN Hawaii!!! Isn't that just fucking awesome?

If you were reading my sparse posts here over the last 6 months, you know how much I was struggling in my head about UMC to manage the training--how much, was it enough--and then I had that injury--but when I got on my way to Penticton, the stress began melting away, replaced with a new stress of getting the crew and provisions all set up, only that was quite manageable as we had all done a lot of planning beforehand. And then finally starting the race itself felt like an ugly coat that had been suffocating me for many months had fallen off--like a snake shedding its skin--replaced by fresh, new skin--and a constant migraine headache had been replaced by just the aura that comes with them--and I knew that everything I had gone through, including having no social life--was COMPLETELY WORTH IT! Most of the time while I was racing, I had this sense of it all being surreal, and there were definitely some out-of-body experiences. I kept feeling this confidence, that I had had before, rising up in me, only I didn't speak it aloud much except during the swim to Steve when he would ask me how I felt, and my response was, "This is all so surreal." I don't know if Ultraman Hawaii will feel the same way, but since I consider it my sacred place, I know those feelings will arise at some level. I remember during UMC on the rides and run that a number of times I read on the road, "WOW." That was the best thing anyone could write on the road, and I did have a sense of WOW the entire time. Not "Wow I am so fucking cool for doing this," but "WOW it is so fucking unbelievable that I GET to do this!" And also, "WOW I have this fantastic crew taking care of me while I GET to do this!"

And so I will stop writing for today leaving you with just WOW. Everyone should have as much WOW in their life as possible. Sometimes WOW is serendipitous--coming upon a beautiful vision--but creating your own WOW is even better. I am beginning to listen to a pile of CD's that Lee cut for me, and listening to WOW!

Some Photos

The gallery for 2010 Ultraman is here.

Please look through them all--they are beautiful, but if you are only interested in ME, look at these: DC4C9558 & DC4C9563 (p. 12), DC4C0009 (p. 24), _E3E4106 (p. 42), _E3E4107 (p. 42), _E3E4314 (p. 46), TPS_2685 (p. 55--one of my favs since Lee Utsumi, my pacer and person extraordinnaire is in it), _E3E5400 & _E3E5401 & _E3E5409 & _E3E5415 (p. 62), and many of the group shots. But look at them all--they are all great! There will be many more of me once Lee gets back to Japan and downloads all her stuff.

Best one, though is this, and the reason I am bending over is to put down my bike bottle that was filled with BEER! As soon as I finished, Lee went and loaded up a couple of my bike bottles with the GOOD STUFF and I began rehydrating! We were told at the pre-race briefing not to have open bottles at the finish, but that things in brown paper bags were OK, but a bike bottle is even better!

Preparations

I have posted some updates from my lead up to Ultraman Canada on Facebook, so now I am going to back up a bit for the blog, since some of you readers here aren't on Facebook or are just stalkers ;)

I had a mostly uneventful travel day Wednesday, July 28 to Penticton, B.C. They did not open my bike box in Chicago to inspect it, although they did swab all the bags of powder that were in my carry on. The flight to Vancouver took off on time.

On the airplane, I first tried to read the pages and pages of information from the UMC website, which I hadn't looked at since last fall, but then I picked up the airline magazine and found Sudoku in there and did an easy one. I read through everything else about the race and only found 1 or 2 things I needed to note. Then I dug back into "Secrets of the Peaceful Warrior" by Dan Millman. Quickly I found some quotes that seemed to jump out of the page at me relating to what I am about to do. Here are a few:

"Plans are useful, but don't get attached to them; life has too many surprises. Preparation, on the other hand, has value, even if the future you planned never comes."

When I read that, it calmed me since I had needed to abandon my overly optimistic training plan in mid-April that I had prepared in September, 2009; yet I continued preparing by training and locating and communicating with a crew.

"All paths, all activities--professions, sports, arts, crafts--serve as a means of internal development, merely a boat to get across the river. Once you get across, you no longer need the boat."

When I read that, I did not think that after doing Ultraman Canada that I would no longer need to do endurance sports to continue my quest for self discovery; rather it reinforced my knowledge that endurance is my current vehicle of choice for taking that trip down the river! Also I felt blessed in the sense that I guess I was reading the right book at the right time to help get my head on straight for the actual race. My mind has gone through so many gyrations in the last 6 months, and just getting away from home without having to work was already starting to work its magic on my psyche.

Eventually, the woman next to me on the airplane decided to talk after I asked to see her iPad, and she asked about what I was doing, and I think her mouth was agape the entire time I babbled!

Once I landed in Vancouver, I passed through customs and picked up my bags--my bike showed up first, so of course that was a welcome relief. I began heading towards the next check-in and my crewmate, Lee, was waiting at a funnel area and spotted me. We hugged and she told me right away that I didn't look as "scary" in person as I do in photos online. It didn't bother me that she had said that, because I have heard similar before, although this became sort of a running joke as the week moved on. We hit it off and began sharing our collective lives and I knew she was going to be completely dependable and devoted to caring for me during this effort.

We had a rather large lunch of sushi and I had a small beer (well a small Sapporo--typically I get one of the big bottles when I have sushi, which I had not enjoyed since Goofy Challenge). Then we headed to the gate for the Penticton flight, where they were asking for a volunteer to stay behind due to overbooking. Not us! The flight to Penticton was nice, going out over the ocean and seeing all the mountains, some with snow. At landing, it was time to wait for bikes again, and Lee's arrived first followed by mine. An athlete from Argentina (Juan Craveri who ended up 7th overall) offered to drive us and our stuff to the hotel in the van he had rented, so that was nice.

When we got to the hotel, Richard and Mona of my crew had arrived and we began bringing in all the stuff into the one hotel room. It looked to be a really tight fit. As it turned out, Lee and I got another room because Richard is quite the snorer and Lee and I are both light sleepers. I should have done that anyway since fitting 4 people plus all my gear plus all the stuff the others had brought over for me plus 3 bikes (2 for me and 1 for Lee) made a tight fit, but hey, just another thing to take care of on this journey.

Thursday was a whirlwind of activity. I ate a light breakfast and then went for a run with Lee. We ended up running almost 40 minutes, and it was one of the nicest runs ever. We ran along the river/canal (Okanagan River), and I remembered doing a pre-race run there in 2004 before Ironman Canada. We stopped to literally smell the roses in the rose garden before heading back to hotel, we showered, then I and crew all registered (sign your life away). I got a nice backpack, hat, goggles (which I gave to Lee since I can't tolerate silicone gaskets), crew got a cooler and bunch of Hammer product samples, then I bought some clothes for crew souvenirs.

Next up we sent to Starbucks to discuss my fueling strategy and have some drinks. Once that meeting began, I announced to my crew, "It's all about ME!" Whenever one of them would get sidetracked about their personal concerns, I had to remind them that it was all about me, and they got back into lock step. That meeting took about 1.5 hours, then we went to the bike shop to get my bike tuned and get saddle and pedals of mine installed on the spare bike that Richard had brought (his granddaughter's). The bike shop guy remarked that I was last minute, but I think he was just fucking with my head. Then Richard and Mona went shopping for provisions and Lee and I went for a ride. I had to leave Skull Kingdom (the name I have bestowed on my new bike) at the shop, so I rode the spare road bike.

Lee got a flat about 1/2 mile from the hotel, and I helped her fix it (after she was concerned that a 60mm valve stem would be "too long" for her wheels and I reassured her that more stem length was not a bad thing) then we took off. We got some hills in and man was it hot. I mean HOT. Like 96, I think. Also I noticed the dryness with the wind into my face. Oh well! We had a nice 45 min. ride, got back and next up was to meet with my paddler.

Steve, my paddler from Australia but currently living in Penticton, picked up Lee and I (I wanted someone else with me all the time because it just helped keep me sane), and we drove through vineyards and orchards to a spot on Lake Okanagan (not the lake we swam in for the race--that was Skaha Lake--Okanagan is the bigger one) for a little swim. Steve currently works at the Blasted Church winery. If you didn't know, the Penticton area is the Napa Valley of Canada. Wineries, vineyards and fruit are everywhere!

This was the first time I was in open water since Lake Placid last year, so of course, seeing that huge lake made me a little frightened, but that was the point of this. Steve and I talked about how we would go, and I let myself just float, hyperventilate and then relax for a bit, then began swimming. It was after 5PM and the winds had picked up and we were going right into them, so it was stroke, stroke, SMACK in the face, stroke, stroke, SMACK in the face. Steve probably thought I sucked and wouldn't even be able to finish the swim. Steve and I practiced how I would get a bottle, we went out what seemed like a long ways, then turned around and it was much easier for me to head back.

We got back to the hotel near 7PM and then it was time for dinner. I ate a giant plate of mediocre spaghetti with meat sauce and chicken, had a beer, and then it was lights out.

Friday was the pre-race breakfast and briefing beginning at 9. I expected it would last about 3 hours, and I was right. Steve Brown, the Race Director, went through all the course maps to point out the really important stuff like cattle guards, chance of cactus and rattlesnakes, no-feed zones and big climbs. I was looking at the maps for the first time ever, but wasn't really able to internalize it all and just hoped my crew was paying attention!

After that meeting, crew went shopping and I began preparing all my gear for all 3 days. For Ironman you make 5 bags:

1. Dry clothes that you will wear when you finish
   
2. Swim to bike (your biking clothes, helmet, shoes, sunglasses)
3. Bike to run (run clothes)
4. Special needs bike (stuff you think you might want or need halfway through the bike like tires, tubes, special foods, clothing additions)
5. Special needs run (stuff you think you might want or need halfway through the run like lubricants, fresh socks, a jacket or special foods)

For Ultraman, I made 9 bags:

1. Dry clothes that I would wear after Day 1
2. Day 1 bike containing my bike clothes for Day 1, shoes, helmet, socks
3. Day 1 spare bike clothes, that would go into the van, which contained a complete change of bike clothes in case I crashed, chafed or whatever
4. Day 2 bike containing my bike clothes to start Day 2. This really didn't need to be a bag since I would get dressed in the hotel on Day 2. But it still helped to put it into a bag.
5. Day 2 spare bike clothes, that would go into the van, like Day 1 spare, since if I used the Day 1 spare I would still need another for Day 2.
6. Day 3 run clothes. This had to be a bag since at the end of Day 2 we end up in another town.
7. Day 3 spare run clothes/shoes. This had a complete costume change plus another pair of regular size running shoes plus a pair of shoes 1/2 size larger in case my feet swelled too much.
8. Spare bike parts. This contained many tubes, 2 fresh tires, an extra pair of bike shoes in case my primary pair failed, lubricants, etc.
9. Overnight bag. I packed this in my shiny new backpack, and it contained jammies and some nutrition powders to pack for our overnight stay in Princeton before Day 3 as well as clothes to wear at the finish line.
   

I got a lot done while the crew was out shopping for water, ice and other provisions and loading up the van for Day 1. When Lee finally got back, I then prepared my swim bottles (5 hours worth of Infinit), and showed the crew how to mix the Infinit. This was amusing as I am from US and the others all use metric, so I had to explain the difference between calories per hour and ounces (millileters for those crazy foreigners) of fluid I needed per hour. Also I needed them to know that Infinit foams up so you can't just mix it on the fly. In the end they did an A+++ job with the Infinit.

We had decided earlier in the day that we would all eat pizza for dinner in the room. Friday was a very long day, and as you can already tell, it wasn't like there was any downtime for any of us from the time we had arrived until race day. I probably could have eaten more pizza, but at some point (and this would become a pattern) I needed to choose between time spent eating vs. getting sleep, and I generally opted for the sleep.

And then the race starts tomorrow (Friday, July 31) at 6:45 AM. By the time I went to sleep on Friday, I was able to say that I was as ready as I could be, and ready to put myself into the hands of my crew. It's odd, but I was actually looking forward to the run--by that time, just like in an Ironman, I won't have to worry about waves, bike problems or how much sleep I'm getting (or not). But it will be one thing at a time--finish that swim, get through the rides, and those are the prices I will pay to get to Day 3 which is where, no doubt, I will get to enjoy much peacefulness for many hours!

Just Finished Ultraman, and the Blog is Public!!!

Hey all you strangers and stalkers out there.

I have decided that it's time for my blog to once again be public (and it will be automagically replicated to Facebook).

In case you weren't paying attention, I just completed Ultraman Canada. Yes, an official finisher!!!

I keep getting tears in my eyes thinking about what just happened and what it all means, and I have a book to write about all of it--the race itself, my preparations, what I did well, what I could do better.

On the plane from Vancouver back to Chicago today, I opened my official course map book that was prepared by one of my crew members, Richard Nelson. While I can't usually remember mile-by-mile events during a one day race let alone a 3 dayer, I began capturing whatever I can, and will continue to do that and get it organized and begin writing here again.

But let me begin with the end (a la Stephen Covey). This is what I wrote to describe how I felt (but didn't speak aloud to my pacer, Lee Utsumi) when I was about 10km from the finish line on Day 3 (84km/52.4 mile run), knowing that I would finish:

I am, despite the pain in my feet and legs, having the time of my life! All I can feel is gratitude--for the beautiful weather and scenery, a patient and loving crew (Lee Utsumi, Richard Nelson and Mona Albano on the land; and Steve Soper in the kayak) who took such great care of me for 3+ days even when I didn't know what I wanted or needed and might not have been smiling, the other crews and athletes who would cheer for me and lift my spirits (including one crew playing "Oh Sheila" on their car stereo especially for me, and Gary Wang the athlete who was unable to run on Day 3 coming by with Red Bull and Rice Krispie treats), remembering all the people who told me during my training that I COULD and WOULD finish this (especially Nick Mallett) even when I doubted my training or mental strength.

I feel wonderful! Full of wonder! I am wondering why I had doubted myself, wondering where I am going and what I will do when I get there; wondering what drove me here but discovering that it was to know and honor myself, and by doing so, maybe, just maybe I can help others to know and honor themselves and some day experience the pure bliss of having a body that can do amazing things but not really needing it except as a vehicle to become the person I am meant to be.

Stay tuned for more reports...

Meltdown and Reality

I knew it was coming. This whole training thing for such a monster event and everything that goes with it was weighing me down mentally. Add to that the uncertainty of being able to recover from an injury preventing me from running and well, I was really losing it the last 2 weeks.

Some of what I was experiencing is similar to what some people feel before their first Ironman--I am not training enough, I don't know whether I can finish, it's the final build and the stress is incredible. Sure, there is that, but then there is the fact that I don't have my new tri bike yet (and I am thinking a new bike just might perk me up a bit), I'm constantly shuffling/reinventing the training I am doing, I still need tons of sleep, will my foot be OK, I still only have ONE CREW MEMBER (I absolutely MUST have 2 or else I can't do this), and did I say the spectre of the distances is actually hitting home with me?

So I gave myself permission for a little blowout, which consisted of much crying, but sadly not much alcohol. I guess a little part of me knew it wouldn't be worth it to punish myself with a hangover. Isn't that retarded? I mean, when was the last time I actually had even NEAR a hangover (which is easy for me since I'm so lean)? I don't remember, but it sure was before last September.

On top of the race-related issues, there's my lawn that needs mowing (yes I could pay someone but it takes literally only 20 minutes), my flower beds need work, my work laptop is crashing so I need to make a few trips into the big city (disrupting training, you know), I need to get my car in for a tune-up, it just goes on and on.

But I will be getting a landscaper to help fix up my yard, and I will find time to get my car tuned up, which I don't mind doing as long as I can run back home and run back to pick it up. The computer thing will be over in another 2 weeks. I still don't know when I'll get the bike. THAT pisses me off.

To the good, last week I was able to do about 1.5 hours of my running outdoors on the road with NO PAIN! But still, I knew that that is still not enough to prove I am fixed. At least I haven't lost much, if any, speed. So I guess I was doing the water running right, eh? Especially since the week before I did like 7.5 hours between water running and elliptical. Insane? Well, I had scheduled a big running week, so I got it done. Although 8 hours would have been better.

So after a pathetic training week of 13.5 hours (but 7.5 were "running!"), where by the end of the week I just couldn't bike on Sunday at all, and I was so mentally beaten down, I told myself to give it one more week. Technically, last week was supposed to be a recovery week from running, but since I am paranoid about my ability to run and I muffed my biking and swimming the prior week, well, I sucked it up and reintroduced myself to the hills around my house and enjoyed a few runs outdoors. I noticed that while this was making my legs and back ache in the way only road running can, that I felt mentally a bit better. But then I had to deal with the computer thing, and I felt sunk again. Still, I justified that a Friday off from training and big swim would be fine (I swam 9K for my long swim 2 weeks before and 6500 during my pathetic week). I decided a "fun" Saturday was in order--so I did a backwards tri of a :40 swim, 2 hour ride and :30 run. That was nice. Sunday's objective was to ride 4 hours. It was really windy, but I got it done, including ending with stomach cramps, which are a rarity for me. I think it's because I switched from Infinit to Gatorade. I ended up doing almost 17 hours last week. That's a pretty solid effort.

So this week might have started out well, except that I couldn't sleep Sunday night! I don't know what triggered that. So I turned off my alarm in order to try and get maybe 2 hours--I'm not sure. Then I had to decide whether I would train at all. I was tired--not so much from the prior week's training, but from lack of sleep. I thought that I should go and run, because at least since I was tired I wouldn't try and run very fast. And I wanted to get in a swim because I barely swam the week before and wouldn't have time again until Thursday. So I headed to the Y, ended up running on the track way faster than I thought I could, and swam 3,000 yards. All while pretty tired and depleted. But the running felt good, and I even swam pretty well. Needless to say, I slept like a baby.

Tuesday the plan was to do a run in the morning and then bike. I let myself sleep in, and got in a :45 run first thing. I felt like crap at first (I ate too close to starting time), but picked it up on the way home and then it felt good. I got in a 1:30 ride mid-day, and I really punched it, and for some reason the lights came back on in my head that I am actually pretty fit, and I may as well keep going, right?

Wednesday was the real turning point, though. I had set my alarm for 5AM so I could get in 1.5 hours of pool/elliptical running followed by 1 hour of actual running, but I just couldn't do it. I still didn't really sleep in because it's light so early now. In my head, I just could not get into the pool and run! So mid-day when it was gorgeous outside, I ended up doing a 1:15 run with plenty of gentle hills. Foot feels fine, and I went to the ortho that evening and he was pleased to know that I am able to run again.

I still wanted to get in 5 hours of running this week, and so I decided that yesterday morning I would swim and do an hour of pool running, and then run some more outdoors later. This time, I was OK with the pool running since I was already there to swim first. I was plenty tired when I started my outdoor run, and maybe should have skipped it, but I got it done.

This morning I swam 9K and I am pretty tired. But mentally I am feeling much better. I am not excited about UMC--it is still a logistical nightmare in some ways, I still don't know when I will have my new bike--but I am OK with the rest of my life going to hell. But I can run! I can train! So I am just going to keep on keeping on and hope I make it to the start line with a new bike in hand, TWO crew members, and a completely healed foot. That is all I can do.

I quit weighing myself maybe 2 months (perhaps more) ago. I just eat and eat, hope I'm meeting my caloric needs and not overdoing it. Clothes fit fine, but I hate how I look. My skin is so dry from all the pool time, age is showing, and I am beating myself up in a big way. So in beginning to run outside again, I knew it would be a "come to Jesus" event in terms of where is my weight at. I can always tell when I run about where I am. Once you get used to running at a light weight, 2+ lbs. becomes VERY noticeable. Well the good news is that in running all the hills around my house, I feel at the perfect weight. I feel like I have good leg strength, and I am not thinking "this would be better if I dropped some weight." Same is true on the bike. So I must be maintaining a decent weight. Still, I don't plan to weigh myself until very close to the race. I feel pretty solid all things considered.

This weekend I am going to try and get in 8 or 9 hours of riding. It is supposed to be quite warm, which is good, since UMC might be like that. If I get through this weekend, then next week I'm taking a little taper in order to try and do a really big training weekend over the 4-day holiday weekend. What I had originally scheduled there is just psycho (if I have hopes to recover from it, that is), but I am still going to do as much of it as I can. I will use it to practice my nutrition from dawn to dusk, pacing, all that. Something tells me that if I make it through that effort, I will be good to go for UMC. Not saying UMC will be a breeze--I expect it to hurt like a mofo--but mentally I will feel like I am ready for the final push.

My guess is I will have another meltdown, but if it's not because something ELSE is going wrong, all will be good. I feel bad laying this on friends/strangers because it is all self-imposed, but somehow writing it down on my blog seems to feel like the right thing to do. I am pretty disconnected from the tri scene, Facebook, all that, right now, because I just don't have the time for it. But I will try and put updates here every so often so people know that I am alive!

Fingers crossed!

Yesterday I got to thinking that my new orthotics should be ready. So I did some math from a letter from my insurance company and thought I should check up. Well, I was right! As soon as I got a call from my ortho's awesome assistant, Katy, I hightailed it over to the office to pick them up.

For some reason, when I looked at them, they weren't what I was expecting. I guess I was expecting some huge pad that would be right under the balls of my feet, but instead there's sort of a wedge that ends just there. I had brought a new pair of running shoes with me to make sure the things would fit inside, and they did. I drove home with some trepidation...I wasn't supposed to run until this coming Monday, but this was close enough to 2 weeks since my last sentence.

Still, I figured I should at least put the shoes on and wear them a bit to see how my feet felt in them. Weird is all I can say! I had some old orthotics, but they were all about arch support, and these new ones are intended to help take pressure off my metatarsal joints as well as support my inordinately high arches. In fact, my feet are quite different--the left one is longer and flatter, and the right one is shorter with an even higher arch. So I expected to feel that each foot was being supported in its appropriate arch spot. And they were. But there was also this weird pressure just before the ball of my foot. Since this was all news to my feet, I figured what the heck, let's just wear them.

After about 3/4 hour, I just HAD to go outside and try and trot a little to see how they felt. I had already tried this in my house with no issues, but that's not a real test. So I ran down my driveway and about 1/4 block. 2 weeks ago, my right foot would have hurt within about 10 steps, but it didn't hurt a bit. Still, I didn't want running on a sidewalk to be my first test, so I relaxed and thought I'd wait until today.

It was quite cold for May (still only 48) and very windy this morning, so I'd already made a plan to head to the Y so I could use the elliptical and the pool for running, and thought I'd use one of their good spin bikes to ride on as long as I was there. I first went to the indoor track, about to give my feet a real test, and I ran into a friend, Eric, that I haven't seen in weeks. He's training for his first Ironman and I have volunteered to be his mentor, and it was great to see him, and he said he'd accompany me on my maiden orthotic voyage. I was paranoid that if things started to hurt that I would break down and cry in front of him, but it turned out to be a good thing for me to run and talk with him so I wasn't always thinking about my foot. You want to know how to guarantee you will think about something? Tell yourself not to and then begin ;) Anyway, while my legs felt predictably heavy, my aerobic system was just fine and my foot felt fine! I could have kept going, but decided to err on the side of prudence and just do 20' today.

Eric and I talked some more and then I was on a schedule so we parted ways. I got on the elliptical, and while I had a little aching in the arch of my right foot, no pain in the toe, so I got 30' done there, and then got on the spin bike.

I think I averaged 105RPM the entire 2:30 on that thing, and felt pretty worked by it, so all good. Then I got in the pool and did 40' water running, and my legs were fried. Back at home, I iced the right foot, and it seems fine, so I hope to give it another short test of 15-20' tomorrow. Now I need to replan my schedule for next week assuming I can do about 20' of actual running per day, but I am happy to do it! I have also decided to fuck my original training plan from now through UMC and just do like I was going to do an IM only a bit more in the swim and bike departments. Not like I can do huge run volume anyway, but I hope to maintain about 5 hours a week. I am also going to move my long run to Wednesdays, because for the last 2 weeks it's been Thurs. long run, Friday huge swim, Sat. long bike 1 and Sun. long bike 2, and that is just stringing too many big workouts in a row. I got used to the long swim/long bike thing, so that's cool, moving the long run back one day should help me to recover a little before Friday rears its ugly head.

So the jury isn't out yet on my foot until I can run pain-free for at least 1.5 hours, but I will work my way back and hopefully if I continue doing the other things like icing and applying these NSAID pads and wearing appropriate footwear, perhaps I will lick this thing.

Meanwhile, I managed 7 hours of "running" this week, which isn't as much as I'd planned (8 hours), but still it's a lot, and if all goes well, I think I can be back to "pure" running in 3 weeks. I will say it now that down the road I may look back on all this and view it as a godsend, as I tend to think things happen for a reason. Perhaps if I had been full-out running now, I would have trashed myself into oblivion, but because I've been doing water running and elliptical (and I don't hold onto the machine), maybe just maybe, my aerobic run conditioning is there. Who knows?

It is funny to me that just a few days ago someone asked me if I was a marathoner, and I said yes (I didn't go into the whole triathlon thing), and she said I had that physique. Today someone told me I have a swimmer's physique . Now if I can just get someone to say I look like a hardcore cyclist, I'll be all set! Just some bright spots in an otherwise stressful week, I guess. Now if I can just get my new tri bike, I'll be all set!

Happy Mother's Day to all Moms and to your Moms.

Quick Update

I continue to be pressed for time!

Last week I got in about 22.5 hours of training, including 5 hours of combined water running/elliptical, a 9,000 yard swim on Friday and a 92-mile ride on Sunday that had 6700 feet of climbing. I am still tired!

On Saturday, I wanted to ride 3 hours, and started on my MTB. About 3 miles from home I got a flat, and the tire was toast, meaning walk 3 miles home. I am not supposed to walk unnecessarily due to my injury, but what am I to do? Luckily, I was rescued about 1.5 miles later by a fellow cyclist who lived on my route home. She drove me and bike home, and I got back out on LGL and ended up getting in about 2.5 hours of riding. Eat, hydrate, finish packing and drive about 3 hours to Dodgeville, Wisconsin for my ride on Sunday.

I ended up getting some cheap frozen Chinese from Walmart ($4 total!) for my dinner, and I watched most of "Encino Man" which was so stupid I couldn't look away.

Sunday I was on the road by 7:50 to ride and it was a beautiful day for it. All the hills were still there, too! I had intended to ride all 100 (or 103 whatever it was) miles, but since I added on some group lostness at the beginning of the ride, and I had a long drive home and I wanted to be coherent on Monday, I decided to skip the extra loop for the 100-miler. Still, 92 was plenty!

I had big training plans for this week, but predictably (or not), I was absolutely trashed on Monday, and so I did nothing.

Since now I need to do my "running" along with my swimming, that means early wakeup calls to get the pool time in, which sucks. Plus, doing swims and runs back to back makes me a whole lot more tired than when I split them up by 3 or 4 hours. Oh well, hopefully this is temporary.

Today I find myself very fatigued, cranky, and with a sense of doom. Next Monday I try and run again, and if I can't without pain, I am not sure what I am going to do. Cry first, probably. My mood has become foul due to the lack of daily sunshine and fresh air and extra pool time with extra dry skin. I cannot hobble 52.4 miles in UMC. I may ask if I can convert to a relay. I may just drop altogether. I have followed Doctor's orders in terms of not trying to run again until then, but I am just not in a good place right now.

On the other hand, if I CAN run, then it's 12 more weeks of hell...I tend to forget how the final build even just for IM sucks, only it sucks even more for me now, since I am extra paranoid.

But I'm just stating how I feel, which is why I write this blog, after all.

Next week I have a rest week which is sorely needed, since this week makes FIVE weeks since my last full rest week, although obviously I have rested my run legs and my swimming partially along the way. Still, stack up 20, 17, 21, 22 and this week should be another 17 hours, and I guess one would be tired and cranky.

From here on out, assuming I continue moving forward, I will be making up my training volume as I go. The stuff I originally planned is ludicrous with a fulltime job, even WITHOUT a life beyond that! But there are a few humongous weekends planned that I will still try and execute on, and then just need to be careful on the recovery end.

As I have learned to date, training for this beast is all about doing as much as you possibly can with the time you have available. Which is how I thought of IM training, only back then, I had more "free" time compared to now. Even with what I am doing, if I get to the start line, I will only finish by sheer will and my overall aerobic capacity. Which I think is tremendous. I think my heart rate lately is like 5. At least sometimes it feels that way!

Anyway, that's all I have time to write about now...must go and get some food in me!

And the Winner Is…

Went back to the ortho today to review results of the bone scan for my right foot. No stress fracture present. Based on my detailed symptom description, the diagnosis is adhesive capsulitis, which isn’t full-fledged Morton’s Neuroma, but rather a side-effect of Morton’s Syndrome. I have Morton’s foot, which is where the second metatarsal is longer than the first. While this usually means the second toe is longer than the big toe, that’s not always true, but in my case it is. Both of my feet have this, and whenever I run marathons, it is my second toes that suffer.

Anyway, back to the diagnosis. What this does is make it painful to land on that second/third metatarsal, which I guess I should have had checked out months and months ago while experiencing ball of foot pain while cycling and sometimes running. So it’s anyone’s guess what my progression has been, and whether it had to do with not always wearing my former orthotics, running a lot, or whatever. For now, we are calling it an overuse injury.

So what is the prognosis? I was calm when I asked, and I know that most soft-tissue injuries can take many weeks to completely heal. 8-12 was what I was told. Well, since it’s week 4 of not running, maybe I will get lucky and be through this sooner , like 4 weeks from now. If that rolls, I am good. For treatment, I have a prescription for these NSAID pads to wear on the bottom of the foot all day long, and I am to ice the BOTTOM 2-3x per day. Here I was focused on the top of my foot, who would have known? And of course, no regular running. I am not to try for 2 more weeks. I’m OK with that.

Last week was my first week of combined water running/elliptical, and this week I’ll get in a combined 5 hours total and more next week (during what was supposed to be my “big run week”). In a way (and anyone who knows me well knows I am always looking for the silver lining in everything), it’s good that I have been doing things that are making this transition not too bad, like already spending lots of time in the pool! And I am lucky that I live .6 miles from my pool, so this doesn’t really add any time to my day. But it does mean that since I only want to make ONE trip to the pool daily for a swim, “run,” or swim/run combo, that I am up early all weekdays.

I have gotten my prep time down to 40 minutes from the time I wake up to the time I am in my car driving to the pool, and I can get in 2.5 hours of whatever and be back home working by 8:30 or 8:45. It’s pretty funny how now whatever I am about to do I am always mapping out the fastest route, not because I am trying to save energy, but because I am trying to save TIME. Every second I save doing one thing means less cramming at the end of the day so that I can still fit in :30 of stretching, sitting down to eat dinner, prepping the coffee pot and workout gear for the next morning and maybe some reading before trying to be asleep at 8PM (for my 5:05AM wakeup call). Oh and also now that it’s spring I need to fit in mowing the lawn here and there, trips to the ortho, dentist, haircuts, waxing, massage. So all those seconds I am saving helps create less stress in my day!

Good thing I have my morning routine down since my training hours just keep going up! While the actual act of water running isn’t too bad (and I am pretty good at it I guess since I can hit nearly my regular run cadence in the water), I am missing spending that time running outdoors, and it breaks my heart that I can’t even go for walks, as it will just aggravate my foot. But at least I can take breaks from work and go out into my yard and pull weeds, gaze at the flowers and animals and enjoy the fresh air. Guess that means I might be catching some sun time mid-day on a chaise lounge!

I am not happy about still not knowing whether I can make it through the UMC run, but I am sure I will begin calculating that if I am able to run some of it and then walk, I might still be able to do it. Right now I CAN walk without pain, but no way I can do 13MPM walking for 52.4 miles, so I need to be able to do SOME running. Still, taking things one day at a time and we’ll see where I am in a few weeks. Bottom line: I am going to give this recovery business the attention it needs. And now I can stop digging into muscles that I thought may have been culprits and hurting them!

Back on the bright side, I am biking and swimming like a monster! Which is good, because I still need plenty of bike fitness for UMC. My last 3 weeks of training have seen 12, 10.5 and 10.75 hours of biking, much of it on the trainer. In fact, this past weekend, on Saturday I did 4:40 on the trainer and 4:30 on Sunday. Isn’t that crazy? Someone asked me what do I do when spending all that time there? To me, it’s the same question as how do I get through 2.5-3 hour swims? Or treadmill runs?

One of the qualities that you absolutely MUST have to do this ultra stuff (even Ironman, to an extent) is the ability to be OK inside your own head for many hours at a time. And you also need to be focused and determined and disciplined enough to just get it done, whatever “it” is. As my dear friend Susan pointed out to me early on in this Ultraman campaign, I have all this additional time in which to perform my “moving meditation.” And it is true.

Effectively, when doing long swims, rides or runs, I am meditating on swimming, riding or running. When I swim long, I am thinking about swimming and…nothing. I do count my laps and occasionally glance at the pace clock, and I do play around with my breathing patterns and spend time focusing on my stroke, but that is what swimming is. Sometimes I might notice that my triceps are a little fatigued or sore, and I just observe it and keep going. Sometimes a person will stand at the head of the lane trying to capture my attention to let me know they are getting in. When my long swims were shorter (5,000 yards or less), I might be able to think about other things like things I need to do, and remember them when I finished the workout. Not so much with the long swims I am doing now! Just like in any long race, if I were to start thinking, “Oh God I have so many more yards to go,” I would lose it. Staying in the moment—what breathing pattern I am following, which lap I am on, how many laps I have in this current set—it paramount.

When I ride long on the trainer (3+ hours), although I have the TV on, I am not paying attention to it (it’s on mute anyway), and I am focused on power output, sometimes cadence, and storing up all sorts of information about how I feel and why for future reference. I usually have the powermeter display showing me TSS (Training Stress Score) rather than elapsed time, because mentally it feels easier to shoot for 17 TSS points rather than watch 15 minutes slowly pass. But that’s just me. I do have to look at elapsed time every so often to know when it’s time to take in some nutrition. Music helps to keep my cadence high (I seem to prefer around 100rpm nowadays).

When I ride long outdoors (4+ hours), even though it’s outdoors and I have to pay attention to traffic and the road condition, it can get just as mind-numbing if you aren’t just into the experience and realization that you are so lucky to have the fitness to do this and the time to spend doing it and think about nothing except biking!

When I run long (let’s say 2+ hours on treadmill or 2.5+ hours outdoors), there seems to be much more of my body that is engaged, if nothing less than because of the impact on the ground or treadmill surface. There’s your running form, breathing, heart rate (I am generally oblivious to my heart rate when swimming and biking), watching your footing, but it still comes down to thinking about running. And there is that extra component—the pain—that seems to keep me engaged. I’m not saying I don’t swim or bike hard—I do—but running is the hardest of the three sports (which is why my fucking foot, which is the new name for my RIGHT foot, hurts), and unless you are running super easy, it’s hard right away. It is just the nature of running, at least on pavement.

I know some people who can’t run, swim or even bike much longer than an hour unless they are with others. Which is fine. If you can synchronize your schedule with others and always do group workouts, that’s wonderful. But ultimately, you are alone in the race, and I think it’s important to be OK inside your own head for your projected race distance or you might have issues. At some level, it’s important to be able to put all your effort, including your easily-distracted brain, into the activity that you are doing. If you get used to it in training, then when you train or race long, you have a higher chance of experiencing that wonderful thing called FLOW, which is where your physical and mental training intersect with your confidence and execution ability and while the training session/race might not feel effortless, it’s within your grasp to meet your expectations, and all that thinking about your form, your pace, your nutrition, seems to fade into the background and you are just purely doing the sport and being in that moment.

I have had struggles with the expansion of my time zone comfort level throughout this Ultraman training, and at times, it has been hard to tell whether I was struggling physically with my adaptation to the load or mentally, with my adaptation to the expansion of time. Certainly, I have inched up my training based on normal periodization protocol (normal for me, anyway!), but while my training time has expanded, so necessarily has my non-training time contracted, and I think it’s more the getting used to that non-training time going away that has been difficult to adapt to. When you have 1-2 less hours every single day to get your “normal life” done, you just can’t slack too much at all. Which is why I do these funny things like see what I can get done while I am heating something in the microwave for 8 minutes besides just wait for it!

At this point in my training, I can say I have already done so many things I had never done before, and I can tell my fitness is very, very high. If I can continue to get adequate sleep (only 9 hours now, down from my preferred 9.5-10 nightly) and I stay watchful of taking in adequate calories (which is even more difficult than it was when I was Ironman training), then I can make it through this, hopefully fix my injury and get to the UMC starting line in one piece! If I make it there and I can run, even slowly, I think I will be fine.

I am a little excited because this weekend I am going up to Wisconsin to do a very hilly century ride on Sunday, weather permitting. This week was scheduled to be a big biking week, but hey, I have already had 3 of those, so this will be #4, meaning my bike fitness should be going through the roof any day now. I had planned on less running, but will try and hit 5 hours of elliptical/water running, and keep a good swim focus going. Then next week was to be a big running week, which I will still do, just mostly in the pool, lots of swimming, and a slight rest (8 hours) from biking. Hopefully, my fucking foot gets better over this period and I will try and run on it again.

Bottom line is that I plan to keep on keeping on, building more bike and swim fitness, and see where I am in 2 weeks.