Random Shit

Please put on your fuckage helmet, because this one is going to be intense***

If you are linked to me on FB (if you're not look up by my email address; if you don't have that, and your Blogger account does, ship me a comment, argggghhhhh, and I'll find you).

I want to scream FUCK EVERYTHING.

On the other hand, I should HTFU. I have a fucking Ironman in what, 46 days?

I did a 1/2 IM on Sunday. Technically I won my AG, but still feel like I sucked. Fuck me! It was wet, rainy, hilly and hilly. Oh well.

You never know when a stranger is going to pay you a kindness. It happens at the moments when I feel like I need something from a "not stranger," but hey, I'll take strange when I can.

The triathlon bomb has gone off in my house. No more cleaning, for what, about 50 days?

Whereas before I may have had time to watch 1/2 hour of TV every now and then, time has shrunk and that is basically down to zero. If I want to get up early enough to bike to the outdoor pool, I need to be in bed on time.

Fitting in meals is getting complicated. I'm at 108 lbs. which is the lightest I've been since, well, when I got divorce years ago. My low then was 107, and somehow my evil brain wants to achieve that. Only now I have more muscle on me. I *almost* like the way my legs look now.

I am sick of it raining all the time here. I live in a fucking rain forest, for fuck's sake! When the fuck am I supposed to mow the lawn?

I need a haircut. My hair grows like a weed during the summer. I wish I could get it trimmed once a week.

Barbie is a whore.

So am I.

I wish I was faster at everything, but my body is just not into the speed thing. I will always suck.

I hate the fact that my 3 best girlfriends live in Nevada, Florida and Canada. I don't get to see them often enough!

I wish I didn't over-analyze every fucking thing and try to rationalize it at the same time. It is just how I am wired.

I am very bad at asking for what I need from other people. Then I guess that by the time I do, they are put off?

I am really very simple and don't need much from other people. A little "hey you're OK and don't suck," a hug every now and then, and if I cook for you, tell me it's good even if it's not.

If I pull for you on a ride, thank me rather than comment later on "I could have gone faster."

If I get quiet, it means something is wrong inside me. It might take a fucking crowbar to get it out of me and I might not be able to talk lucidly about it for a week or so, but it will come. If nobody does that TO me, I will just stew and stew and analyze the fuck out of everything, going this way and that, and it will be very confusing.

Yes, I have an "out there" exterior and to some people am intimidating (I still don't get that). I AM A FUCKING HUMAN BEING FOR CHRISSAKES! What am I doing that is so intimidating? Being myself? Somebody please answer me. I always thought intimidation was the OTHER person's issue. But if there's something better I can be doing, please let me know.

Life is too fucking short to not accept love even if it requires a bit of work.

Life is too fucking short to not do what you want to do.

Life is too fucking short to not make time for the important shit. And if anyone out there thinks I am not doing that, please let me know. I DO make time for what I consider important.

Life is a bunch of crap much of the time (thanks, Cindy). A LOT of crap. That's what friends are for--to keep you level-headed when the crap becomes too much or you forget that there ARE bright spots included.

It's crazy to be addicted to exercise and challenge and because of it not wanting to waste time on meaningless pursuits like doing the dishes or making time to communicate with people, but those things also need to get done. Your Mom will not keep doing everything for you! Besides, eventually you lose your Mom.

On the other hand, if it's a choice between doing the dishes and being with someone you love, pick B. But if they want YOU to do the dishes, then let them know they made the choice for you.

Life is too fucking short period.