Weekly Workout Totals 7/13/2009-7/19/2009 and Last Rites before IMLP

While I was getting Bitch ready to ride yesterday morning, I'm looking at the tires on my race wheels, and what the fuck, I need to put new ones on there (they are tubulars)! I'm looking at them and thinking how stupid would it be for me to be riding on these worn out things? But it has been awhile since I looked at them, and good thing I caught it early enough so I'd still have time to get the wheels to the bike shop for some new rubber. While I do know how to glue tubulars, I did not want to mess with it this close to IMLP. In the process, I sorted through my bag of spare tubulars, and threw out several that had various nicks or cuts in them. Luckily, the bike shop found a few 650's for me and I did find a couple spares in my bag that will work out. There's always something like this that happens right before an Ironman!

I did what I guess you could call a triathlon yesterday--1700 yard swim yard, 40-mile bike hard and :30 brick run pretty hard. At least it all felt hard at the time, and I was a bit tired from it all. I thought I had the Ergomo dialed in on Bitch, but I have to just assume it is not going to read watts accurately on race day, which is fine. I'm at the point where I basically know what my effort is, and besides, I am just going to let it all hang out this time!

I "officially" started in on my packing yesterday, which meant making a big pile of triathlon crap in my family room where most of my gear lives, started a clothing pile in my spare bedroom, organized my packing list to eliminate stuff I don't need, changed my bed and did laundry, washed dishes and drank a lot of beer. I would switch between feeling completely amped and then exhausted. Part of me just wants to sleep and wake up and it's over--the other part, of course, realizes that hey, I've put in all this training time we may as well do a race.

It's during taper that the craziness of Ironman training is in stark relief to "regular" life. When I have rest time on my hands, I wonder what "normal" people are doing and so what I should be doing. And yet it's not what I want to do. After I ran on Saturday, I was like wtf, I barely worked out. Same thing yesterday.

I got to thinking yesterday that I feel differently during this taper than I ever have before. Sure there is some of the whacky feelings, the adrenaline buzz, and all that, but it seems to be on top of a much calmer person. Maybe it's because I know I have something even bigger coming up and the rules of my game are going to change for the first time in 10 years. Maybe because it's taken me 12 Ironmans to reach this state. Maybe I am actually more fit than I have ever been. Maybe I am not worried about how well I do or don't do. Maybe it's because it's my last "official" Ironman (as far as I know as of today!). Whatever it is, I am enjoying it. I am sure this will all change in a few days, as I will be traveling with someone who is doing their FIRST Ironman.

Last night I decided I had better start waking up early since I am going to change time zones in a few days, so this morning I got up and made it to the outdoor pool for an easy 2200 meters. Boy did it feel easy! And short! But that is exactly how it should have felt, much like yesterday's 1500 straight went by in a flash. It was another cool morning, so I had to wear long sleeves on the bike, but I enjoyed every minute of it. I will do a short run later on, maybe get a core workout in, and then I'm getting my last massage before the race this afternoon.

As I do each thing "the last time before the race" I am very aware of it in the moment. My longest run before the race. My longest swim before the race. Last massage. Last sleep in my own bed (tomorrow night). Last Twinkie (that was 2 weeks or so ago!) before the race. Last swim at the outdoor pool (tomorrow morning). And then I'll get to Lake Placid, and there will be more lasts. And then it will be race day, and it will be NOW.

And then I will wake up the next day and start thinking about all the FIRSTS. First swim after the race, first ride, first run, longest ride, and then I'll have a couple of weeks and go through it all again before Revenge of the PirateMan!

Unbelievably, this is the 5th time I'll be doing a double. Isn't that crazy? ME. Hell, I was amazed I finished my first Ironman, and I am still amazed at myself that I've kept doing them, and done doubles. Sometimes I think what is wrong with me that I want to do this, and then I think I am so lucky I get to do this.

It is all good. All of it!

Now just for the helluva it below are my totals for last week, and I've included the season totals, so you can see how much I've put in to get here today. It's all been just wonderful, all the training I've been able to do since my last Ironman which was a NothingMan back in September, 2008, and the journey from there to now has been one of the best of my life! I wonder what these numbers will look like about a year from now when I am tapering for Ultraman Canada?

Weekly Workout Totals	07/13/2009-07/19/2009 This week's totals are sponsored by the Ironman USA Lake Placid!
Swim:	14100 yards (8 miles) in 4.7 hours; 32% of weekly workout time; approx. 1645 calories burned Canadian: 12893.04 meters
Bike:	Approx. 95.62 miles in 5.32 hours; 37% of weekly workout time; approx. 2930 calories burned; Total TSS=362 Canadian: 153.89 kilometers
Run:	Approx. 24.31 miles in 3.53 hours; 24% of weekly workout time; approx. 1594 calories burned Canadian: 39.12 kilometers
Strength:	0.97 hours; 7% of weekly workout time; approx. 243 calories burned
All Sports:	Approx. 127.93 miles in 14.52 hours; approx. 6412 calories burned Canadian: 14.52 kilometers
Sleep:	9.43 hours avg./night
Stretching:	2.17 hours. Massage: 1 hours
Season Totals	09/15/2008-07/19/2009
Swim:	389412 yards (221.01 miles) in 135.03 hours
Bike:	Approx. 4812.41 miles in 267.79 hours
Run:	Approx. 1186.24 miles in 180.76 hours
Strength:	49.05 hours
All Sports:	Approx. 6219.66 miles in 632.63 hours; approx. 280663 calories burned
Stretching:	86.1 hours. Massage: 44 hours

Season Weekly Averages	09/15/2008-07/19/2009
Swim:	8850 yards (5.02 miles) in 3.07 hours
Bike:	Approx. 109.37 miles in 6.09 hours
Run:	Approx. 26.96 miles in 4.11 hours
Strength:	1.11 hours
All Sports:	Approx. 141.36 miles in 14.38 hours
Sleep:	7.59 hours avg./night
Stretching:	1.96 hours avg./week. Massage: 1 hours avg./week

Taper Going Well!

Since I began reinfusing myself with some carbs (beyond the daily beers, that is), I've been feeling better. Of course, yesterday's 5K swim was a watershed for me because not only did I do it in a respectable time, but I negative split, AND I wasn't barely tired afterwards.

Now you might want to attribute this to a taper, but in terms of overall training time, I was at 10 hours by the end of yesterday. 10+ during the week is pretty good no matter what, although the running has gone down a bit. Still, I felt like I should have done another workout yesterday after the swim, and that's a good thing.

I've been spending a lot of my swim time using the paddles, as per advice I received sometime this winter while at one of the indoor sprint triathlons (thank you to whoever you are that suggested I do that!). So for at least the last 5 or so weeks, I've swam anything from 900-2000 yards or meters with the paddles in almost every swim workout I've done. It makes you strong, no doubt about that! I think it is also helping me slowly correct my hand entry, which has always been a problem with me (among my swim issues, that is!). If you don't get your hand entry correct when swimming so much with paddles, well, you can really jack up your shoulders, and I have had zero issues with that.

I slept another glorious 10 hours last night. The weather has been quite cool, and what else am I going to do with all this time on my hands except sleep? Plenty...but I'll get to it later. Today called for a 1:15 run, which was supposed to be done like this:
25' Steady
20' Half marathon pace
2x10' (2') @ 10K pace
5' easy

Fuck that, I decided to JFR (Just Fucking Run). Still I tried to hold back on the first mile or 2 since I'd only finished breakfast about an hour before I took off. I wanted to puke, I really did, and this was good, because I think it forced me to hold back just a little bit. But after 2 miles, I had wheels and just went with it, trying to hold a decent steady pace. I didn't have any heavy leg feelings--it actually felt good to run today!

I had also laced up a brand new pair of running shoes this morning. I had started a different pair a few days ago, but the tongue on the left shoe rubbed against my ankle making it bleed, and I can't have that in an IM, so I picked a different pair and they worked out just fine.

I got my pre-race Brazilian wax after my run, and now I'm just chilling. I will do a bit of yard work and then start organizing all my crap for IMLP. Thank GOD I get to ride a couple of hours tomorrow (and do a brick run and a short swim) otherwise I'd go absolutely crazy! While I am enjoying my rest, there is a certain amount of weekly exercise that makes me feel good and sharp, and 14.5 hours doesn't really cut it during the summer! But I am observing the taper as I should, since I know that I do need the rest. No matter how you slice it, an Ironman is going to put the hurt to me, and I want some energy in the bank before I start!

I am looking SO forward to seeing my BFF, Shelley, and we are going to enjoy this time together as we each do our last "sanctioned" Ironman, as it will mean the beginning of new things for both of us! And of course, please everyone pray to the LP weather gods for no rain on race day--anything else will be a pure joy, I think!

It's on the Way

IMLP, that is.

This morning I swam 5,000 meters at the outdoor pool. About an hour after I got home, I checked my records, and I guess that is the first time I've swum that far! It's still only half the Ultraman distance of 10,000 meters, but I didn't feel the least bit tired, and know that I can work my way up to the full distance.

It is always a good feeling to do something I've never done before!

In other news, I figured out why my Wednesday run was crappy, and yesterday's brick run was a bit of a struggle, too. I have been eating significantly less carbs than I was a week earlier. Now, even though I will get in maybe 14 hours of training during this taper week, in my head, I am doing almost NOTHING, and so I am not having the cravings for rice and pasta. But I thought I should do something differently when I weighed myself and I was all of 106 lbs.

Even though I drank a can of Ultra Violence before I ran yesterday, it wasn't enough to load me up to do a 1:15 ride and :30 run. The ride went fine, but on the run my legs were heavy again, and it finally occurred to me that I was a bit early in a carb loading regimen. I guess I've been depleting myself to the point where I can go maybe 1:30 hard. Which is what happened Wednesday.

So last night I had some pasta, and then right before I went to sleep I ate an entire bag of Gummi Bears, and when I woke up this morning (no issues bounding out of bed and I slept well), I felt like I should be good for a 3-mile swim.

It was maybe 57 degrees when I was leaving to ride to the pool, so I wore a long-sleeved technical shirt under my t-shirt. I was chilly on the ride over! But the ride warmed me up, and the pool felt great--obviously it was warmer than the air!

I did the 5,000 as 800 warmup (various stuff), then 4x1000 with 30" (about) rest, 200 kick. My last 2 1000's were faster than the first 2--I was playing around with my hand entry and then my turnover. OMG I found out I actually can do a higher turnover than usual!

Anyway, I didn't feel tired or anything after the swim, dried off really well and dried my hair for the ride home since it was still chilly out.

After IMLP but before ROTPM, I am going to go for a 6,000 meter swim. Just to do it! That will be a good confidence boost for when I formally start building up to the 10,000 meters for Ultraman Canada next year. Only problem is I will need to find a pool that gives me 4 hours of uninterrupted lap time, so I may need to split it across 2 swims. Oh well!

I am organizing for IMLP packing, planning out next year, planning my training between IMLP and ROTPM, and it's all a bit overwhelming. Good thing I don't need to ride 100 miles this weekend! I will get on my packing starting tomorrow afternoon after a short (1:10) run, swim and pre-race wax (!), in case there's anything I need to go and buy (which I doubt but you never know), and then Sunday is just a 2-hour ride, :30 run and it's all over but the driving to IMLP, and I leave on Wednesday.

I am excited about going to IMLP for my last time to race, to spend time with Shelley and her son, Eric, and to hopefully have a great last "official" Ironman. I have already been asked what's next after I complete Ultraman next year, and I have no idea, but I'm sure something will come to me.

Right now, the focus is on the Sunday one week from this coming one. And then recovering and ramping back up for ROTPM.

As exciting as all of this may sound, I am keeping my excitement level in check. I can remember back in 2004 when I did Ironman Canada and I was running and thought I should be excited when I was at mile 18. I told myself "not yet" and when I got to 20, I said "not yet" and then 22 and 24. It was not until mile 26 that I let it all wash over me, and that is how I plan to roll at IMLP. Oh that video? That is my "center myself" song that I will listen to the day before IMLP.

Have a great weekend!

Important Announcement!

Oops--I said this on Facebook, but sometimes I forget some people only read the blog.

The pieces are falling into place. I always said I wanted to do Ultraman Kona. Well, at least since I started doing Ironman. IMLP is my last "official" Ironman for the time being. I'm not saying "last ever" because who knows, I might change my mind!

Once I decided to bag IMC and do Revenge of the PirateMan, and also knowing I'm not signing up for an Ironman in 2010, I guess the brain started thinking about things, and it was Monday evening in the middle of the night when I had a flash that if I am going in this direction, shouldn't I be looking at Ultraman for 2010?

So yesterday I start looking into things...first Ultraman Canada and then Ultraman Kona. Turns out Ultraman Kona is changing things next year and you have to qualify by first doing Ultraman Canada or else have already done Ultraman Kona before they changed the rules. So I decided that if I complete Revenge of the PirateMan, then I am applying for Ultraman Canada 2010!

And then things just sort of fell into place today--I started making a sketch of a schedule of things I want to do next year, and it is looking good on paper, but I need to know the exact dates of Ultraman Canada (UMC)!

So I do IMLP, then I do Revenge of the PirateMan, then a 50-mile trail race, then Goofy Challenge, then I start ramping up for UMC!!! How exciting is that?

Even though it might seem that this has come out of the blue, it really hasn't. I have just been listening to signs and perhaps some higher guidance that has come to me over the past few years. I can remember that at 2006 MiamiMan I met Michael Hanreck, who was 2nd at Ultraman Kona in 2005. He told me I should do it. Well, at the time, I didn't feel ready.

Last year at IMFL, I met Peter Kotland, who had pulled out of IMFL halfway through the marathon, because it was a "training day" for him. He came in 4th at UMK in 2008, and he holds the UMK run record of 5:33 for 52.4 miles! Here's a pic of me with him from last November:
Now don't I just look like someone who should do an Ultraman? Well, maybe that day I didn't, but I'm starting to feel like that person.

And then earlier this year was when I was discussing a "TotalMan" concept with someone, although I had started out with the Revenge of the PirateMan concept. And it was something I thought about doing next year.

Well the time has come to begin dipping my toes into the ultra territory. I might fail--I might not--but if I don't start looking beyond Ironman it will never happen. I still need to finish one thing at a time, and so I am happy that I am starting the move into ultra territory. I will draw upon anyone I know that has been there in some form or other, and I think it is going to be something else!

Horrible Run Today by Number 2518

I ended up lifting after my brick workout yesterday. This morning I had wanted to swim at the outdoor pool, but it was raining and lightning and thundering when I woke up (after 2 snooze alarm hits), so I ended up indoors at the Y. I swam a solid 3500 yards, and felt great doing it.

When I headed out to run a little after noon, first the heat hit me (it hasn't been hot here this summer much at all), then the humidity, and then the fact that my legs were not good. I tried to use the old "I will feel much worse than this in Ironman" trick on myself, but it was no good. Even though I don't use an HRM, I could feel my heart rate working its way up to a place it doesn't belong for the pace I was running. I was good until I got into open sun, and then I struggled for the rest of the run. I ended up walking for about 3' of the last mile because my heart rate was so jacked up.

I am used to running not feeling "good." It is always effort to me, but as long as I'm able to keep my heart rate down or reasonable, and my legs don't hurt too much, I'm fine with it.

Today sucked, but I usually have a couple of totally sucky runs during a taper. It doesn't mean anything. Today it may have just meant I went a little too hard yesterday.

In other news, my bib number for IMLP is 2518. I can't think of anything significant about that number, except that it's my LAST Ironman bib number!!!!

More taper ramblings

Yesterday I let myself sleep in and didn't swim until 11:30AM. Warming up, I felt clunky and a bit tired from Sunday's workout, but when I got on my main set, I felt a little more peppy than normal, and I thought when was the last time I swam, and it was last Thursday, so oh, this is what a little swim taper feels like! I swam well, although I still suck, but it felt good and the time went by quickly.

I had thought about getting my strength workout done yesterday, but after about 1:10 of swimming, I found myself again tired, so decided to put it off. Then I thought about riding a bike to my massage, but decided against that, too, thinking it would be good to give my legs a day of rest.

I intended to ride to the outdoor pool this morning and get in a short (2000m) swim this morning, but probably an hour before the alarm would have gone off, I shut it off, decided I didn't need the extra swim, and went back to sleep. I slept 10 hours for the second day in a row!

Today I had a short (1:10) ride and run (:30) on the schedule. The power company was removing some dead tree limbs from the lines near my house and cut the power at about 9:15, so since I couldn't work, it was time to get it done.

Another beautiful, cool day (for a Chicago July), and I headed out on LGL in the big chain ring (I've been mostly riding in that for the last 4 weeks or so), but thought I should actually do a little warmup so hit the front derailleur at the top of the hill and promptly dropped my chain. I tried to go back into the big chain ring, but failed, so now I had to actually stop and put the chain on with my hands, and I'm tapering, so I am having a brain cramp but remembered that I had better get the grease off my hands before I get back on otherwise I will mess up my pretty new zebra striped bar tape!

So you should have seen me licking bike grease off my hands and fingers and wiping them on my bike shorts so I wouldn't get the bike dirty! I got enough of it off to continue, and I'm riding maybe 2 minutes before I decided fuck it, back in the big chain ring anyway, and I just wanted to ride really hard.

But a funny thing happened at the same time--I just started crying for no good reason. It's pretty typical for me in an Ironman taper, and I don't even try and stop it or rationalize it--it just happens. I feel great, I feel strong, I'm fucking crying my eyes out! I let myself think about it a little--even though I've definitely had some things to cry about the last 8 months, and have done some crying, I suppose I have still been holding back on it a lot, because that's the game of Ironman training or else it's just my personality that I feel like if I start letting it all out when I feel it that I will totally lose control of myself. And that did happen a little bit a month ago, and even though I let myself go with the flow for a few weeeks, at the same time I knew I had to HTFU so I wouldn't fuck up my training, which I love so much, and it just wasn't worth it to me to mess up my last 4 or so big weeks of training. And they have gone really, really well, overall.

So back to crying. I think about it a little bit and part of it is I'm crying for myself for having put myself through all this effort to hopefully get to race day in one piece and do my best. I'm crying for myself because it's when I taper that I feel the opposite sort of lostness that I described in my prior post--I feel lost because I don't know what to think about anything or feel about anything and it's a very disconcerting state of mind. I want to feel everything and I want to feel nothing. I want the race to be here and I want it to be months away so I can just keep training and not thinking about it. I am crying because I don't get to choose anymore--it's going to be here whether or not I like it. I am crying because I am so fucking fortunate to be able to do this to myself--to take my body and my mind to places that most people probably never get to experience, and I think that if they only could, life would be an even more sublime experience for all of us. I am crying because I feel sorry for myself that I feel like I need to do this to myself in order to feel alive--why can't I just be dumb and happy? I am crying because my mind is trying to fuck with me even more than it normally does, and the end result is crying, which I suppose is better than becoming angry or violent.

And all of this happens in maybe 2 minutes of elapsed time, and I go back to riding, and today I don't know how to ride other than hard. I figure it's a short ride, and while I am supposed to warm up, I've rested, right, and so it feels like I'm racing. The numbers on the power meter tell me I'm riding hard, and I am just loving it. And about 25 minutes later I'm at my power loop, and it's time to really focus and work. And it feels easy, and on my first interval, the tears come again, but they aren't stopping me, and I almost laugh at the nuance of simultaneously putting out maximum watts and crying! How great is this???

And then I knock out two more intervals, both great, and then head for home, even though I want to ride longer than I need to, but I'm being good to myself this taper and trying not to overdo things (although I just did overdo the ride!). I put on my running shoes, shorts and visor and head out to run, thinking I wonder if I really did ride hard?

And right away I knew it--I had--because of how my legs felt. It was like I was doing a sprint tri, but I just sucked it up and ran, feeling still better than I might feel at the beginning of the marathon in Lake Placid, and I ran out for :15, turned around and headed for home, wondering if I could pick it up just a little bit on the way back int, and oh yeah, that last mile I didn't really fell that much faster but I was.

And then I check the power data from the ride and I rode at 93% of FTP, which is hard, but it was a short ride, so no worries. I get to do this same workout on Thursday!

And while writing this blog post, I have a few more tears, and they are just there...they are like my little taper friends that will keep coming to visit me, assuring me that I am human, I do have feelings, I have bottled a lot of them up for months now, and while I think I have processed a lot of emotions without tears, the tears are just now the physical expression of all of that.

And OMG I need to start assembling stuff I need to take with me for next week, and the time is going to go so fast now, and my mind is going to do crazier shit as the days move on, but as long as I am resting and feeling peppy (or not--it really doesn't matter right now) while I work out, all is well.

In a way, all of this weirdness (if it seems that way to YOU--to me it is perfectly normal for ME) I think is part of my mental preparation for a long, long day of being inside my own head, so I may as well start working out some of that shit now, so I can go to that place of peace and nothingness that is the real thing that has had me coming back to Ironman over and over. I know it can't possibly be that way for someone doing their first Ironman or even maybe their third or fourth, and maybe some people never get there, but it's waiting for me in less than 2 weeks now, and although the emotional road to get there is going to be rocky, I'm OK with it.

First Long Taper Ramble

I shouldn't physically feel like I'm tapering, considering I put in 20 hours last week (less than I had wanted to, though), but mentally, I know I'm only 2 weeks out from IMLP, and I will bottom out on biking this week as well as running (I get to swim as much as I want, though!).

I've committed to NOT registering for an actual Ironman race for 2010, and I will need help at IMLP to keep me away from the pre-registration line. I've been saying for several years that "this is my last year of Ironman," but nobody ever believes me. I never thought I'd be sitting here about to do my THIRTEENTH one! OK, so 2 of those were self-supported, but they are still in my count.

Ironman and loss have defined the last 10 years of my life. I started running in 1998, which was 4 years post-divorce. Some opinions say it takes 3-5 years to iron yourself out after a divorce (and I lost my job at the same time), so I suppose it was almost natural for me to seek out something new in my life. 2 years later, I found myself training for my first triathlon, which escalated to signing up for my first Ironman.

Choosing to do Ironman automatically creates loss in your life. If you want to be good at it, it requires you to toss out pieces of your life, and that culling process can be stressful. Oh, so you were used to a perfectly clean house? Fuhgeddabout it. You enjoy spending an hour or so every evening fixing yourself a nice meal? Fuck that, you won't have time. Love gardening? Your yard is going to go to your version of Hell. Like staying up late and drinking and dancing? You won't be able to do much of that, either.

What about friendships? Choosing to do Ironman forces you to cull those who will not support you, who will not understand the journey you've undertaken. In my case, I didn't have but a few close friends when I started, was fortunate enough to keep one until now, made some new ones and tossed a few of them, too. The people I want around me now are those who really get how the only way I've found to both get inside myself and get out of myself is by doing this crazy amount of exercise. And I'm not even on the extreme edge! What's great is that I now have met plenty of people way crazier than me! So now whenever someone tells me they think I'm crazy, I have examples that prove that I'm really quite tame by some standards.

Back to the subject at hand--Ironman and loss. When you are doing an Ironman, even much of the time while you are training, you need to lose yourself. Or at least that is how it feels to me. When I'm out there riding 100 miles by myself or running for several hours, and it's not something I have to do, but yet I do it, and I am not thinking of all the other things I could be doing--in fact, I can't think of much but what I am doing right at that minute.

And that, in a nutshell, is what has kept me coming back for more and more of this. I want to keep losing myself until I figure out how to lose myself some other way! Maybe I won't find another way, but I have this sneaking suspicion that something will find me and show me another way in a few years.

In the meantime, Ironman is not going to be enough. Even as I will start to assemble my things for IMLP (I leave a week from Wednesday), I am already thinking about Revenge of the PirateMan in August, the 50-mile run in October and things I want to do in 2010. I will be doing Goofy Challenge again, but thankfully I don't need to even think about that because I already know I know how to do it!

And there may be an Ultraman in my schedule for next year. Isn't it funny that I am doing all this forward planning when I haven't even done one Ironman this year? That is the charm of all of this. I am looking forward to being even more lost!

Aside from the losses I've experienced willingly in the last 10 years, there have, of course, been the other real losses--my Mom and Dad, and I also need to say my youth. While my body is in pretty good physical shape (maybe better than ever), I am needing to adapt to how I now look which is no fun. Aging sucks! But still, I'll make the best of it, but I do need to be respectful. Although I do hate it when someone my age or older points out all of their issues and says something like, "Just wait until this happens to you!" Hey--I know I'm not immune to everything, but as long as I can keep this up, I will!

And then there have been the loss of romances, which sucks the most--next to death, those are always the hardest things for me to process. I'm still working on one! I suppose part of it comes from my belief that if you work hard enough at anything that it can be yours, but that is not how relationships work, unless of course, both parties want to do the work.

I lost my "old" house, too, in that I remodeled a lot of it. That was a good loss!

What I lost most recently, though, is my idea that Ironman is the big challenge. I want to do more, now, and if this old body holds together, I am going to prove it to myself. This in no way diminishes what anyone else does--I happily support anyone's efforts to do any amount of exercise and self-care, because I want people to feel great. It is just that for me, I need another test, and next year will be the year of other new tests. Hey, if I can lose myself for a day, maybe I can lose myself for a few days running! Better than any drug I know of!

Fucking Awesome Last Long Ride before IMLP!

But first I must back up.

After Friday's debacle, I still managed to fix bottles of Endurox for the remaining time before I leave for IMLP, plus carb loading bottles and Infinit bottles for riding Saturday and Sunday (assuming I did both). I always get a bit teary-eyed as I do these things for the last time before an Ironman, because it means that it is definitely coming! Here are my bottles ready to go into the fridge:
I was optimistic about working out on Saturday, so I went to sleep early and set the alarm for 5:00AM. I awoke after 8.5 hours of sleep, got out of bed, and my legs were sore. Not fatigued--actually sore. Whenever I experience this, it's a strong signal that I need R-E-S-T. So even though I shit canned my workout on Friday, I decided that first I would go back to bed and see how I felt in a few more hours.

1.5 hours later, no dice, legs are still sore, and I feel like I could sleep all day! So I shit canned Saturday's workouts--I was going to swim 3500 and bike maybe 2.5 hours. OK, so what will I do? When was the last time I wasn't sick and had a rest day? Like NEVER! I did have a rest day at the end of May, but that was after Triple T, and I was still sick as a dog, and even though I still felt rather tired, I thought of various things I could get done that wouldn't tax me too much physically. Oh and I think I spent a lot of the day eating--I knew I was undernourished from all the hard training I'd been doing, so every 2 hours or so I would eat maybe 300-400 calories.

I got the lawn mowed, I finally hooked up the converter box to the TV (not that I will be watching it much, but it's nice to know I can if I want to), restocked some home office supplies that I'd been meaning to do for several months now (including a rainbow set of dry erase markers for my giant mirror in my bedroom!), gased up my car, and grilled out. This was before I left to go see No Doubt in concert.

No Doubt rocked! I was SO glad I went, even though I almost bailed on it. The set was amazing, and the band was amazing! I really like their mix of ska, rock, reggae or whatever you call it. I left a little early, though, because a) I was still tired and b) I wanted to see if I could do a 100-mile ride today.

Did I mention that I was STUNG under each eye this past week? Not just bit by mosquitoes--but actually fucking STUNG. I had to dig stingers out from under each eye. Luckily they didn't happen on the same day, but I'm like what the fuck, why are stinging insects so attracted to me???

Anyway, when I got home from No Doubt, I ate 2 crab cakes and drank a beer and got to sleep a little before midnight, which is WAY past my usual bedtime of 8:30 or 9:00PM lately. I set my alarm for 5:15 but figured I'd know when it went off or maybe sooner if I could make that.

Sometime during the night, I decided I needed to let myself sleep, and since the plan was to drive to Fermilab to ride 100 miles and run off the bike, what the fuck else was I doing today, so it didn't matter when I started.

I slept until 6:30AM, and felt like I could get up and get going, and so I did. I wanted to leave home by 8:00AM, but was like 10 minutes off that, but no worries. It was a beautiful day, and I'd decided on a tri swimsuit bottom to ride in and also no sunscreen, as I'm already pretty tan, and all sunscreen products clog up my pores and make me crazy because I can't sweat properly. I also took the aerohelmet with me, as I figured I'd wear it for some of the ride at least.

I got to Fermilab and got my primo parking spot in the shade at the East Gate, and got ready to ride. I donned the aerohelmet, and when I'm in there, I wear the iPod, since there is very little traffic to be concerned with. I have a regular 16-mile loop around the place, but at some point during the first lap I decided I didn't want to do 6+ laps, so when I was about 8 miles in, I decided to make some interior loops around Pine Road (which is awesome asphalt and straight as hell which makes it great for time trialing), and when I got back to my car (after seeing the coyote couple crossing a road--I was so happy to see them!), I'd done 23 miles. I forgot to mention that I got the speed display working on the Ergomo today--I guess the damn sensor is pretty picky, and I moved it just a bit today and all of a sudden I had miles! I was happy, because I really wanted to get the 100 solid, you know?

Out for my second loop, I decided I'd fucked up on the first loop, since it should have been 25 miles, so now I'd need to do 27 to get to 50 after 2 laps. I added on which took me into an area of very large power items (there are some extremely large items in Fermilab--one of these days I will photograph all them, but will need to put something in front for perspective), and after 2 laps, I was at about 51.5 miles. Awesome!

The wind picked up or else I suck since I slowed down a bit. But I was still feeling good, no worries. On lap 3, I had done all my "adding on" when I saw a peloton of about 15 riders, mostly or all guys, heading for the Small Ring. So I thought they must have a special access pass, since it's not generally open to the public, so I hammered to catch up to them (I was at about 73 miles by now), only to see they had been kicked off by Security. I thought some of them would follow me, since God forbid a chic is riding faster than they are, but they didn't. I don't know where they went.

I kept on, and when I got to my car, I was at 79 miles after 3 laps. Awesome! After refilling my water bottle, a security guard pulled his car up next to me and we began chatting. He commented how he'd seen me riding in there for like hours (yep!), and asked if I was training for anything, so I told him, and I also told him that I bet most of the Security has seen me in there since I'm there a lot, and that I'd be back in about 3 weeks to start up training for Revenge of the PirateMan (although I didn't tell him the name), and that I'd be doing a full 112 mile ride in there. We exchanged names, and I politely asked him if he'd give me a free pass to ride on the Big Ring, and he said sure! I was so pumped, because this meant I could do maybe 4 or 5 laps (it's about 4 miles around) in there to finish up my ride! He also told me he had kicked the group of guys off of the Small Ring.

Dude sends me on my way, and I am 1.5 laps of the Big Ring in when I see him in there. He tells me the same bunch of dudes tried to ride on the Big Ring and he kicked them out! He said they would be really jealous of me, but I had told him I fully understand they don't want big packs of people in there, and only go in by myself and once in awhile. But he told me I could use his name anytime when I want to ride the Big Ring and I should be fine!

Now see, this is an example of when you act polite and respectful and also look like you know what you are doing AND having fun at it, that people just treat you well. I was so tickled over this that I must have been smiling hugely the entire time I was on the Big Ring! Plus, as I got closer to my 100 miles, I felt great that I had done this all by myself, and that I should be able to HTFU for ROTPM when it's Ironman day!

When I finished, I wanted a couple of pics of me with the bike, so here they are:
I really like this picture, even though I'm not moving. Man, I was happy that I'd just polished off 101 miles at a good pace all by myself!

I had hoped this would be a little closer in, but still, you get the idea. I rode like this all fucking day, hardly ever stood up since it's so fucking flat in Fermilab, and besides, whenever I wear the aerohelmet, it's really stupid not to be in the position, right?

And then I suited up to run. I wondered how this would feel, because like, didn't I do this shit just a week ago? I sometimes forget how much training I pile on myself, and I kept thinking when was I in Wisconsin? LAST FUCKING WEEKEND, THAT'S WHEN!

As soon as I got going, I noticed how humid it was, either that or I was just piggy from being on the bike so long. I ran OK, maybe 9:20 pace is what I'm guessing, and while it sucked, as do most runs after 100-mile rides, I thought I might just do OK running 26.2 in 2 weeks.

And here I am after all that, looking suitably sweaty:



And here I am all smiley and goofing because I'm glad to be done! I wore my HTFU bracelet all day, as you can see it on my right wrist:

After all that, I didn't even want McDonald's for the drive home. I did drink my Endurox, and I still haven't eaten a full meal--I'm just not that hungry--but know that I should probably dig into some pasta tonight so I am somewhat recovered for tomorrow.

It's now OFFICIALLY taper time, and while I had to take a rest day yesterday, I still nailed my last key workout before the big day (although I've got one more 3-mile swim this week), all my training "money" is in the bank, and there's nothing more I can do that will help me on race day.

I had a lot of emotions running through my head today--much like happens in an Ironman, and I felt good that I was out there by myself where I could have just quit at any time but kept going and worked hard. And while I won't say I am feeling particularly happy (more like neutral), I was absolutely thrilled that someone was so nice to me today and gave me such an awesome gift!

Full Body Bonk

I haven't felt like I've been undereating the past week--not felt particularly starving upon waking or anything--but I suppose if I look back over the last 6 days, starting with last Saturday, I probably haven't been restocking as well as I should.

After the 112-mile ride/7 mile run last Saturday, I had Endurox R4, the big McDonald's burger and fries, a few beers, some crackers and some candy. I probably should have eaten another meal, so this would have been the start of the downfall.

On Sunday, I had a waffle then rode a few hours, drove home drinking Gatorade (in retrospect I should have had some protein right away, too), got home and made a chicken wrap and I don't remember what I had for dinner, but I'm pretty sure I didn't make up for Saturday or Sunday's calories burned.

I haven't been eating a lot of starch lately--it's been salads or a modest amount of vegetables at dinner time. I guess I've started to taper my eating even though my training isn't really tapered yet. I've been off my usual grocery shopping/restocking schedule, too, which means I'm not on my normal eating routine.

Still, though, like I said, I wasn't feeling famished or anything. Through yesterday, I'd done about 11.5 hours of training since Monday. Now that is unusual, but it came from a little extra riding and a whole lot of swimming. I had about 1/2 lb. of salmon and a little (probably less than one serving) spaghetti with pesto for dinner, 2 beers, and felt good to go. Now that was dinner for a 4-hour training day, which is not something I normally do on a weekday when I'm also working! I really should have eaten a bunch more, but by the time I ate dinner, I was tired and went to sleep.

I slept 10 hours last night, and felt good when I woke up this morning, had my usual breakfast of an English muffin and a hardboiled egg, but around 11AM I was feeling sort of hungry so I dug into my stash of Cheetos and also downed a Coke. This should have let me know that I was in a glycogen hole, because I don't usually crave Cheetos in the morning! Then I went off to the Y because it was raining, planning to do a :40 run and about 1:30 on a stationary bike (I just didn't feel like getting on my trainer and besides I could probably watch TDF replay at the Y).

As I walked into the cardio area, I could tell my legs were telling me I probably should just rest today, so I thought, what the hell, I'll just get on the elliptical trainer. Can't hurt, right? I did the :40 on there and it wasn't bad, but I could tell I was a little tired.

I moseyed on over to the Precor bike, got on, and wasn't worried about intensity, but still was doing a 10-minute ladder of resistance. When I got off the bike about :40 in to change the channel on the TV in front of me to Versus, I thought, gee, my legs feel pretty trashed considering I didn't do much today. Still, I got back on the bike, and thinking I'd still go 1:30, at about 1:10 I finally recognized that I was out of fuel no matter how much Infinit and Gatorade I was drinking.

That is, I was experiencing a grand bonk! Thing is, I'm so trained that I can usually overcome bonking (or not even notice it) that might affect someone else, or I might just miss the signs, but when it finally dawned on me, I realized that I had better get my ass home and eat as quickly as possible.

Still, I had to shower, and when I got home I immediately made myself a big wrap thing, chowed that and drank some Endurox. I figured that should set me up, right? Nope. It wasn't so much hunger that I felt, but my body was screaming for more calories. So I scrounged around and found a Snickers Almond Bar in my freezer, took it out, and after about 5 minutes, I ate that. By this time, I'm starting to notice that I feel really cold, even though it's hot out and I don't have my A/C set too low (maybe 76-78 now), but I am actually shivering, and this tells me that my body is truly fucked up (it's like the same insulin reaction I sometimes get when I down 400 calories of Ultrafuel all at once and my body is valiantly trying to pump all that sugar into my muscles) and needs me to lay down, so I get into bed with all the blankets on, still wearing clothes, and I'm cold but after a few minutes finally my temperature starts to go back up, but I stayed in bed for maybe an hour and even dozed off a few times.

Getting up, I realized I am not "fixed" yet, so I'm going to need to eat up tonight and sleep well and let my body do its thing to get me back to normal. I also realized that whatever I have planned for training this weekend is all optional, so if I'm not feeling peppy tomorrow, I will just rest, because at this point, nothing is really going to make me any faster for IMLP.

I guess I've reached that point in the summer where I'm pretty sick of the starchy carbs, but I will need to get back on some level of them, especially post-IMLP and pre-ROTPM. So I'll start counting my calories. Thankfully, next week is actual full taper, so I don't need to worry about it so much. Some years, I've lost 2-3 lbs. during the last 2 weeks before IM, but I don't think I should lose any more at this point.

So in an odd way, this was all a good thing, to remind me that I am existing on the edge, and that I need to pay more attention to my nutrition.

Have a great weekend!

What is Going On?

Somehow I ended up training almost 4 hours today--a 4800 meter swim, riding to/from the outdoor pool (it was glorious this morning), and then a 1:34 run. And I'm tired. Almost 12 hours of training since Monday. Tomorrow maybe a short little recovery swim and some biking. Decide whether I'm going to do the 2-mile open water swim race Saturday, some more riding, get ready for Sunday's last 100 mile ride before IMLP.

I am planning out 2010 already, and thinking about planning my training for ROTPM (Revenge of the PirateMan), although what I had scheduled for IMC should do just fine there. And then I need to plan how the hell to train for a 50-mile foot race in 2 months. After that, training for Goofy Challenge will be a no brainer--I've done that before.

But then how do I train for ultracycling and ultraswimming and ultrarunning at the same time? I have no fucking clue. But I am going to figure it out, through books, friends and maybe a coach.

Yes, I'm certifiably nuts. But the way I figure it, I might not want to do this in say, 3 years, and I may not be able to. The time is NOW.

Some people on Facebook asked how/why I have become faster all of a sudden in terms of top-end speed running and also my FTP has gone up. I dunno--maybe because I quit watching TV altogether and sleeping a little more. Maybe because I'm a little smaller than a year ago. Maybe, just maybe (ya fucking think???) because I've been training at a high level for 9 years straight? I dunno. Maybe the worst shit of my life is finally behind me. At least this stage. Sucks that I started this nonsense a few years after getting divorced, then was just getting into shape then boom, boom, boom crapola piles on. Maybe my tolerance for that shit has finally decreased and I am just not going to acknowledge it anymore.

Maybe it sounds like the fun has gone out of this for me, but it hasn't. I guess I'm a little weird in that FUN=WORK. And work leads to greater fun in my book. SAME=BORING. MORE=MORE FUN.

Sure I want to do well at IMLP, but I can already see past it, and where the last 9 years have been leading me. Onward, upward, forward. As long as I can manage it!

Rock 'n Roll

So I did a pretty hard brick workout yesterday. This morning I had wanted to go swim at the outdoor pool, but it was overcast and pissing, and I just didn't feel like swimming outdoors in that, so I headed to the Y and banged out 3400 yards, and they were pretty good, despite the water being like 85.

And then my schedule called for a ":40 easy run, optional." Well, um...OK. It was still raining by the time I finished up with 4 consecutive 1-hour meetings at work (how exciting, I know!), and I'm a total wimp, so I drove back to the Y to run on the treadmill. Side note: I can feel how much energy I have right now, which is a sure sign of peaking, and right on time.

I got on the treadmill and had already decided I'd run for :45 because that wouldn't hurt, and so I just did a ladder increasing speed every 5'. And I was talking to this woman that I had given advice to on how to help accelerate her healing process from carpal tunnel syndrome and saw her walking on the treadmill holding on, and I told her not to, and she listened and she is now hanging on every word I say!

Well after the :40 are up I go to run on the track and I'm thinking this should feel good. And actually I felt great considering when I woke up this morning I was feeling a bit ragged from yesterday's workout, and was trying to avoid swimming this morning valiantly, especially when there was a sign on the door saying WE HAVE NO TOWELS but the woman at the front desk who knows me (they all do) waved me in, which meant they must have some, and I was like, fuck, I guess I have to swim, and even though the pool was hot, I swam my ass off.

So I head to the track and just start running what I think is a bit faster than I was on the treadmill, but knowing it was only for 5 minutes, I just went with how I felt, and I felt great, and when I hit 1/2 mile I was like OH FUCK I THINK THAT'S THE FASTEST I EVER RAN A 1/2 MILE, and I kept running until the 5 minutes was up and then I finished a lap, and yeah, it WAS true!

Now I'm not a fast runner by any standard, but still, for me to pull off 7:15 is something else. And it didn't really hurt, and all I could think was WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM? And then I didn't question it. Something must be working after all these years at this game! Maybe it's because I ate like a pound of fish last night for dinner, maybe it's just that the harder I train, the faster I get.

This year feels different than other years. I think my body is capable of absorbing a lot of high quality, high volume training, and that's a good thing because I want to step it up into the Ultra territory. And I don't want to just slog through lots of miles, you know? What fun is that anyway?

So maybe, just maybe, I've processed the major life crap that I've experienced, and my body is ready to heal itself and show me how it can perform, even though I'm a little old to be doing this in some ways. But for right now, I feel fucking great and wish I could train like 30 hours a week! I know that I could tolerate that without working fulltime...so I guess I had better get back on my financial planning to make that possible sooner rather than later!

I am just so full of energy right now--it's hard to describe--I know I have an IM in 2.5 weeks, and I'm planning logistics for Revenge of the PirateMan, and I'm starting to work on a plan for the 50-miler in October, and I'm also sketching out 2010, which will bring some ultracycling into the mix.

It all comes down to, I think, understanding my body and continually pushing it a little bit further than it has gone before in some way or another. It could be more hours, which I haven't really done, or more distance, more speed, more challenges--but knowing that I will be done with "conventional" Ironman this year is setting my mind free to ponder bigger possibilities.

But back to one day at a time--I need to wake up tomorrow and knock out 3+ miles of swimming and then later on something like an 11-mile run. I know--doesn't sound much like a taper, but that run is a lot less than last week! Friday will be a 2.5 hour ride, Saturday will be a 2-mile open water swim race and then 2 hours of riding and a concert (No Doubt), and Sunday is my last 100-mile ride/6-mile run combo.

While at the grocery store tonight I was thinking, shit, it's all starting to happen now--everything I've been working towards not just for this season, but laying the groundwork for moving on beyond Ironman, and it's all very exciting and heady and partly unbelievable to me. I NEVER thought I'd be in this position, and knock wood, if I keep myself healthy, it is going to be one helluva ride over the next 15 months!

Oh and here's a pic of me (I'm the one in all black with the blue aerohelmet) riding into transition at Rockman 1/2 IM that I find rather poignant for some reason--as bad as I felt that day from the combination of rain, cool temperatures and the impending destruction of a relationship, I was heads down getting it done.

Start of Last Big Week of Training before IMLP

More pics from today's brick are here.

Last week went really, really well, and I haven't been posting weekly workout totals in awhile (yeah I know you miss them they are SO exciting), but the last 4 weeks have gone 20, 20, 20 and 22 (thereabouts). This week I hope to get in 22 or so.

This week my run and strength tapers have officially begun. Except for the 2 weeks I was sick during and after Triple T, I have been putting in some really good run mileage this season. Sometimes it's because I have just decided I'd run a little more than I needed to because I was feeling fine, and some of it may be because I'm a bit faster than a year ago. Whatever. I am sure that dropping another 3-4 lbs. has been helpful in making the running suck just a little less.

My swimming is what it is. I should really get some 1 on 1 coaching, but I don't have time, and the work required to bump up my swim time just isn't something I'm into right now.

Biking is GAME FUCKING ON! I have to admit, I guess, that my FTP has gone up for the first time in 2 years. Maybe 5-10 watts, depending on what day it is. Either that or I am just used to riding really hard now. I'm going with B!

Yesterday called for a 3400 yard swim, and if I felt like it, weights. I had gotten to bed early on Sunday night, and since I only trained a little over 2 hours on Sunday, I woke up yesterday feeling pretty damn good, so I rode Clipless Fuck to the pool, swam 3400 meters feeling strong the entire time, rode home, and then later in the day I rode to and from my most excellent massage (thanks as always, Mike!) and a little extra there because I had time, and then I rode to and from a haircut. I managed to get my entire strength session done, and when all was said and done for yesterday, I'd trained 3:20! Nice way to kick off the week!

Oh and something stung or bit me under my left eye yesterday, and I had to resort to Benadryl since this was my second insect incident of the summer. The swelling didn't go down until last night, and maybe it was the Benadryl/beer combo that made me sleep like a baby last night, 10 hours worth!

I am trying to pile on a lot of biking this week, so an hour and change yesterday was a good way to start. Today called for a 1:30/:40 brick workout, but I figured I had time to do almost 2 hours of biking. I decided I wanted to ride LGL today, perhaps motivated by watching the TDF and wanted to wear my Catlike helmet that I absolutely love. In fact, now I'd like their aerohelmet, too, because they are pretty cool looking.

Weather right before I left was beautiful--sunny, mid-70's, a little humidity, and just a little wind. Perfect! I headed out on LGL and right away just wanted to crank it up, and so I did. I love riding Bitchie with the race wheels, but I love riding LGL, too. I love all my bikes!

I rode east first for about 5 miles and then back towards home, and thought I'd check out my former TT loop to see how repairs were going on the one major road. About 3 weeks ago, I rode a little over there, but the main road needed one more layer of asphalt, as the sewers were still sticking out of the road. But when I got there today, fuckin' A, it was DONE, and smooth as a baby's bottom, PLUS they widened it a bit so I had sort of this whole lane to myself, and I just hammered away! The loop that includes that road is 3 miles around, and I don't know how many loops I did, but I was kicking out some serious watts and having an absolute blast!

I suppose it helped that I had chugged a can of Coke right before I left, that I'd had 10 hours of sleep last night, that I'd ridden almost 225 miles last week, that I thought I was getting stronger on the bike, that the TDF is on, that it's a beautiful day...there was really no reason for me to have a bad ride today except to begin exorcising the usual demons that try and creep in this close to an Ironman. And I'd had weird and bad dreams last night, also part of the IM leadup, and for the few minutes that I rode deliberately easily, it seemed that I scrolled through every bad thing that's happened to me in the last 3.5 years--pretty good depression from a combination of life crap (2005--right when I first began writing this blog), death of my Mom, death of my Dad, 2 failed romances, and yet, as is typical at this time, I was asking myself, "WHY????"

Why, why, why, why, why do I do this when it fucking hurts, when I know how tired I am going to be later in the day--too tired to accomplish anything major, yet already thinking about the next day's workouts and how much fun it will be to be outdoors doing them, when I have let things like my house cleanliness and garden tidiness go to hell for the last 8 weeks and will keep that up for another 10 or so, when I've put something on the calendar for August that I am alternately positive I can do yet respectfully afraid of, when I've signed up for a 50-mile trail run that I keep getting these looks like you don't know what the fuck you are getting into there when I talk about it, when I want so desparately to connect with more and more people, yet crave the alone time while I'm out there purposely hurting myself?

It is amazing to me how much I can think about during 3 minutes of riding easy! And when the 3 minutes is over, I stop asking myself why and get back to riding hard, telling myself it's only 10 minutes of pain--I can do anything for 10 minutes, right? And since I am riding in circles and seeing some of the same people every lap wondering why would someone ride their bike in circles, but it makes perfect sense to me because when I'm in the circle, it's my fucking circle of pain, and I've chosen to be there in it and fully experience the pain of my muscles and pain of my emotions, and really it's all about feeling--feeling everything--even though it can appear to be running away from stuff.

And I want to keep going--to stay in that circle--but real life calls, and I still have to run, so I finish up, riding for 1:50. The Ergomo says I rode at 94% of FTP, which is either true or my FTP has gone up. But I know I was riding hard, hard, hard, and it felt good.

I quickly put on running shorts, shoes and visor and headed out to run. I'd already decided that since some rainy-looking clouds were rolling in that I'd also run in circles around the "big block" and besides it has rolling hills and I will hate it and it will suck. And when I first started running, I could tell for sure that I had ridden hard, much as if I'd been in a sprint race, only it was a longer than normal sprint (I put in 35 miles on the ride), and so I expected the running to suck. But it only sucked from the effort of the bike--not the normal "brick suck." Nutrition-wise, I felt great, and since it wasn't particularly hot outside, I didn't have that to deal with (or else I am better heat acclimated now).

Running though, demands you feel it everywhere unlike being on a bike. Plus, running is not my thing--biking is! I ran the first loop holding back, and was fine. On the second loop, I dropped 30 seconds, repeated that on the third loop, and on the fourth I dropped another 15 seconds, so negative splitsville, which was great.

I ran pretty well considering how hard I rode, and I'm happy for it, but hey, it was just another workout that I enjoyed the hell out of even though it hurt like a motherfucker (note to self: why do you make yourself hurt like this???). I could have done an actual sprint race today and done pretty well, I think, and that is good. But I will just chalk this up to another great day of training, 4 days in a row of riding, and I'm still cresting that peak, that should culminate this weekend with my last 100-mile ride and brick run before IMLP.

There is nothing more I can do at this point except, I think, to really dig on the simultaneous pain and joy I get from doing this shit. And laugh at myself. I am sure that while I am out riding and running there are many people looking at me and thinking, "what the hell is that woman doing anyway?" but it's funny that I get a lot of smiles, too, and I always try and smile back. Because I am enjoying myself!

Big Week!

I am just back home from spending the weekend in Verona, Wisconsin to do a race rehearsal on the IMWI course and some other stuff. Please note I am drinking a glass of Grumpy Troll Amnesia Baltic Porter as I write this, so I may pass out or need to stop for awhile and go take a nap. OMG it is SO good!

I am going to back up to Thursday. My training schedule called for a 2:00 run, but fuck that, it's 3 weeks out from IMLP and I did a little over 16 last week, so I decided to go for 17. Since for once I didn't have any meetings in the morning, I let myself sleep in until 5:30, finished a Power Bar Triple Threat and a couple of cups of coffee, loaded a small cooler with (3) 12-oz. bottles of defizzed Coke, and headed for Waterfall Glen, where I was on the trail running at 6:45AM. Even though I arrived there what I would consider late for a weekday morning, I got the very first parking spot closest to the trailhead:

I thought I'd take a picture of the trailhead, too, since I have spent many, many hours here!



I wasn't absolutely positive that I would do 17 miles, since allegedly I didn't need to, so armed with 1 bottle of Coke, I started out. Since it hadn't been too long since I'd had breakfast, I didn't think I'd need any Coke for awhile. Whenever I do these long runs, I usually split them into 2 out and backs, but how much I do for the first leg is always unknown, and I just play it by ear, thinking how long I can go on whatever I'm carrying. I didn't want to run down into the hole (to Mile 5 and a little beyond) because I'd have to run out, but I didn't drink anything before Mile 4, so I figured why the hell not, and I ran down in there, meaning I'd need to run uphill out, but so what! On Tuesday, I'd done a brick run on a street near home that I'd never run, and it was a good one because it includes a 1-mile fairly steep hill that I just charged up, so I wasn't having too much trouble with the Waterfall Glen hills today, although I typically walk the first 2 in the first 2 miles just because it's warmup time, right?

Still, I was pleased that I was running fairly well, even with running out of the hole, and got the first 11 miles done feeling pretty great. I had run about 8 1/4 miles the day before pretty much all at tempo pace, and this was the day after the hilly brick run, so I was like what the fuck, I guess I'm running well!

As I was out there on the first leg, I kept forgetting how to do basic math to figure out how many miles I'd need to run on the second leg, but after I finished 11 and stopped briefly at my car to get some more Coke, my brain kicked back in and realized I only needed to do 6 more.

Those last 6 miles I slowed down about 20 sec. per mile, but that was fine, I shouldn't have been running that fast in the first place! Still, overall, I ran a little faster than I think I can run an open marathon to qualify for Boston for the full 17, so I have to chalk it up as a good run.

Hmmm...3 solid hard fast runs in 3 days...what's next? I hadn't fit in my strength training, so sometime in the afternoon I decided to get on it even though my legs were pretty shot. Still, I got in :55, and I thought that was pretty good after a 17-mile run.

Friday called for a 3800m TT in the pool, and with some warmup and cooldown, it would make for a nice 3 mile swim. I wanted to swim outdoors, but got lazy again and slept in until 5:30AM, so I ended up driving to the Y to swim. I forgot how many yards an IM swim is so I just settled on 4400 yards, and I split it into 4x1100, alternating pull, and pull with paddles, so a real strength building swim, huh? I swam about even paced the full effort, even though my swimming sucks, but at least I felt like I have the necessary endurance to pull off a decent (1:15) IM swim, if you consider drafting. Still, the IMLP swim has way too many athletes, and I've seen my swim time go up the more people get added. I hate getting beat up. But who knows what will happen this year? Sometimes I think I'd just rather swim alone, because I know what I can do. Whatever, I digress. I did complete 3 miles of swimming.

I thought about running a little bit, but my legs were on the verge of not liking it, so I didn't. I packed for Wisconsin, and got on the road around 1:30, experienced some holiday traffic, but got there around 4PM, unloaded the car, chilled a little bit and then headed to The Grumpy Troll for dinner and to refill my 2 growlers that I had back from April when Jostein and I went up there to ride a few hours. I was going to fill one of them with Imperial Stout, but when my waitress told me it was $40 for it, I decided to get the other stout that I've had before, Spetsnaz Stout, and the second growler is the Amnesia Porter that I am still nursing. I had some spicy chicken/andouille sausage pasta thing and their usual good salad, and returned to home base, the Super 8 in Verona. Of course I didn't finish the entire dinner, and so brought a box back to the hotel, where I later basically ate the rest of the chicken, and had one more beer while watching highlights from past Tour de France's. Below is a pic of the two growlers I bought being iced, since we wouldn't want this good beer to spoil before I get home, now would we?


Alarm got set for 4:15AM as I was to meet a new friend, Ken, at Fireman's Park so we could ride the stick (the out and back section of the IMWI course) before meeting up with Ali to ride 2 loops. I slept rather fitfully, but still got in about 8 hours since I'd retired early, even though I awoke several times to fireworks booms.

I got to Fireman's Park with a few minutes to spare, and Ken was a few minutes late, but we headed out at about 6:15am. We rode to the Sheraton on John Nolen Drive, which is close enough to the beginning of the actual course, then turned around back for Fireman's Park. It was a cool, overcast day with 30-60% chance of rain depending on which source you consulted, so I'd worn a bike jersey and shorts and carried a rain jacket with me. We were fine for this part, and when we got back to the park, I called Ali, and he was 10-15 minutes out, so Ken and I decided to roll for a few more miles just to make sure we got in a full 112 on the day! So we rode out backwards on the loop for a few and back, Ali was just arriving with Deanna, whom I'd met a few times before but didn't recognize until she took off her sunglasses.

We all headed out on the loop, and we all knew Ali would take off ahead of us, which was fine. Deanna and Ken sandbagged that they were slow, but it turned out they and I were about the same pace, but we somehow managed not to draft one another much at all for the first 40-mile loop. I got ahead of them for a bit, but stopped at the Kwik Trip in Mount Horeb to pee, they both went by me, and then I caught Ken peeing by the side of the road at the intersection of J (or is it S?) and Witte Road. Ken got ahead of me for a bit, and then he launched some bottles on railroad tracks, and I went ahead, and then all 3 of us were pretty close the entire time.

We reloaded our bottles and headed out for loop 2. I had made (2) 3.5 hour bottles of Infinit, but we were 4 hours in and I hadn't finished the first bottle. That was OK since it was so cool out. I felt pretty good as on the first climb off of Paoli Road my legs didn't feel too bad at all, and this is always a marker for this course.

Somewhere before we got to Mount Horeb, I was ahead of Ken and Deanna and I didn't stop to pee at all, so I just kept going. As I was riding, I kept thinking, "hey this kinda sucks but not nearly as much as Horribly Hilly" and that kept me going. I was ignoring the power meter (which won't display speed right now, but who cares?) and just riding based on my breathing, so all was good. I never did take off my arm warmers, but unzipped the jersey a little as it did warm up a little bit.

When I got back to Fireman's Park, Ali was already running, and I had left my run stuff back at the hotel, so I needed to go back there. Deanna had cut a tire and so hadn't gotten very far into the second loop at all, and my car was packed up when Ken arrived back, and I told him I had to go back to the hotel, and thanks for the ride and all that.

I had only drunk 2.5 bottles of water and 1.5 bottles of Infinit for the entire ride, which seemed a little low to me, but oh well! My legs didn't feel all that bad, so I hurried up and got the bike back in the hotel and suited up to run. I knew it was actually warm out as I was pretty sweaty, and as soon as I headed out, I realized how humid it was, but still not too hot. I ran back to Fireman's Park in hopes of catching Ken, which I did, and he'd run 3 miles, but was headed home, and I continued on. I was supposed to run 6 miles, but I just decided on running about an hour whatever that would bring. On my way back to the hotel, I caught up with the Military Ridge Trail to run on which is nice crushed limestone.

I didn't know how fast or slow I was running until I got to a mile marker and then timed myself, and I was extremely please with how I was running! Plus, this was the best I can ever remember feeling running off of a 112-mile bike ride except maybe for a few IM races over the years. Still, this is not race day, so let's just get it done.

And I did. Here are a few pics from after I finished up the run:





I guess I'm a skinny little thing now, aren't I? When I was finished, I was famished, but I had to shower first and start in on my Endurox R4, which I did, and then since I was conveniently next to McDonald's, I just walked over there and got one of the new sandwiches I'd read about--the 1/3 lb. Angus Burger with mushrooms and swiss cheese, and small fries:

The burger was actually tasty from what I can remember since I think I inhaled it in like 2 minutes! I actually ate a bunch of fries on the walk back to the hotel and polished them off before I started in on the burger. And then I got to laying down to watch a replay of Stage 1 of the TDF wearing compression tights and laying down and generally moaning. My legs felt pretty well trashed, but I've felt worse, and I was pleased with the time it took me to cover the IMWI course and my brick run.

Finally, I motivated to stretch, and then I got in the hot tub:

for a little bit while watching some comedy on TV (I still haven't hooked up the converter box to my TV at home and hadn't watched any TV since June 12 or whatever that date was). The hot tub was blissful, and I polished off the last of 3 beers while in there before getting (or trying to get) to sleep early, as I was pretty tired.

I was pretty pleased with the 3 past days of training, having covered nearly full Ironman distance (OK so I was off on the running part by by 2.2 miles, fuck me, OK?) in 3 days (actually went over on the swim), and thought that can't be a bad thing, seeing as how I want to do double IM distance over 4 days. This made me think maybe I can do it, although I'll be doing it all brickie-brick style, which will be harder ;)

I slept fitfully, as there were more fireworks, my legs were throwing off all sorts of heat, and I'd had plenty of caffeine on the bike. Still, I think I managed about 8 hours of sleep, finally waking up around 6:30. I had thought about doing some more biking this morning, but knew I didn't need to, but I've had some significant training weekends this year where I've been able to do something the day after something where I'd normally take a day off, and it was a gorgeous day, so I thought, what the hell, what else am I doing, I'm here--may as well ride, right?

I went to the hotel lobby and fixed myself a waffle, which was just the thing I needed plus 2 cups of coffee, and before I could think too much about it, I had most everything in my car and was on my bike by about 8:10AM. I was going to wear bike shorts, but since it was so sunny, I decided on panties, and as soon as I started, realized what a good choice it was. It was so beautiful--I should have taken my camera with me the sky was so perfect, and all the crops so green--this is what I live for--to bike in an area like this with this kind of weather! I rode pretty well considering, and I think it was the right thing to do.

Here's my trusty Bitchie after this morning's ride. She did me proud this weekend, and I decided I still love her, even though I wouldn't mind another tri bike in my stable!


And here's me with Bitchie.


I wanted to keep riding, it was such a nice day, but alas, I need to start thinking about actually tapering for IMLP, so I'm going to review my past records to see what exactly I will do. I am in my run taper for sure, but I think I can knock out one more solid week of biking before I drop off.

I feel so great now, which means I am definitely peaking. I just want to keep training. Training is what I love. Training well is what I love. Training well in the company of other good athletes is what I love. It's all good. But I guess I'm signed up for this damn race, so I had better get my head in that game, right?

Hope everyone had as great a weekend as I did!

Clumsy and Scatterbrained, aka 4 weeks out from IMLP

When I get this close to an IM, it seems the only things my brain and body know how to do are:

1. Swim
2. Bike
3. Run
4. Fix bottles
5. Laundry and dishes
6. Mess with bikes (wheels, cassettes, etc.) and race gear
   
7. Acquire and eat food
8. Obsess about training and upcoming races
9. Obsess about all the ways in which I suck
10. Anthropomorphize just about anything
    

Those things I think I can do pretty well. But focusing at work now is a little difficult, although I'm getting it done, and making decisions about things that aren't already on my master schedule are difficult.

This morning I opened 3 cans of Coke to get them busy defizzing and was going to mix up 10 bottles of Endurox R4 (I mix 10 at a time so I achieve optimization of my bottle fixing time) and some Gatorade bottles for swimming, and I had put the cans of Coke back in the fridge, and went in there for something else and knocked over one of the cans of Coke, and it seemed like a huge tragedy. Luckily, the whole can didn't spill, but it still took time to clean it off all the surfaces it did hit in the fridge. The experience just reminded me that I need to be careful with simple things now, as I get clumsy doing much of anything besides swimming, biking and running.

As far as the #9 above, that sounds counter to what I should be doing, but it's mostly an effort to stay in touch with my emotions even as I am feeling good and aggro about training and maybe even racing. It's just that I am still not over this love I felt for someone, and try as I might to get all negative about him and such, it's not working, so I know I have a few more weeks of that to go. And while sometimes I feel like I'm superhuman, man, I know some really talented people (athletically, that is) and I don't put myself in that same category AT ALL. Mostly I just like to train, and I know that my training isn't necessarily optimal for all the crazy shit I like to do, and I am OK with it.

I'm looking forward to my partial weekend up in Wisconsin, but have decided to come back on Saturday night so I can have a relaxing Sunday and maybe even check out a local festival that I have really enjoyed in the past. I hope I am able to catch some of the balloons taking flight on Thursday and Friday mornings!

Revenge of the PirateMan

I am feeling like I am hitting peak or near peak fitness for the season, which is good since IMLP is coming up fast. But I actually think I will be super-peaked for Revenge of the PirateMan, which is what I've decided to call my sprint/Oly/HIM/IM festival in August. That's my Buddha above, and he's decked out in various ribbons from various gifts and flower arrangements I've received in the past several years. I've added my new pirate hat from Kim, and I am looking to Pirate Buddha to guide me in the next 10 weeks as I prepare to do something I've never done before.

I can tell I'm peaking because I feel strong swimming long. Not necessarily fast; just strong. I swam 3000 straight last Friday and it didn't feel like a big deal. I hope 4200 doesn't feel like a big deal either this Friday!

I can tell because I can ride hard a lot. In checking through my bike records, I would call yesterday's sprint an "official" FTP test. I rode at 107% of my alleged FTP of 190 (on Bitchie), which is about right for a sprint, but I'm guessing maybe my FTP has gone up maybe 5 points, which is still good, considering I've gotten older (how did that happen???). The day before the sprint I rode 2:45 at 82% of FTP, and the day before that I'm guessing based on my speed that I was at least at 80% of FTP. For me, I think I need a particular combination of volume (outdoors, thank you) and hills (I love riding hills and will ride them fairly hard as evidenced by Horribly Hilly this year). What's cool is that since I'm the lightest I've been in 15 years (15 years ago was when I got divorced and got almost stupid skinny--now I am carrying a lot more muscle), that means my power to weight ratio is going up by leaps and bounds. I would still need to ride a lot more to get super fast, and if I had the time, I'd love doing it, but there is that damn swimming and running to do.

Now about running. I'm not much faster than I've ever been (and I've never been fast), but I feel strong running. Again, the light weight seems to be a factor, but I've also been (carefully, I think) just adding miles for no good reason this year. We'll see how I end up the season in total run mileage, but I've knocked out some great weeks of running in the last 13 weeks (but should remove the 2 I was sick post-Triple T) and not felt any worse for the extra miles.

I feel like this year I am able to push myself harder in the few actual races I've done. I'm saddened that I was sick for Triple T, because I thought I could have won my age division again, or been close.

So now I get to show what kind of fitness I have in an Ironman. It's always dicey, because I could blow my taper, I could be sick, I could be in a bad mental place, it could be rainy and cold (which would surely be my demise) or any number of things. I have reconciled myself to the fact that however it goes, I will have arrived on the starting line in good shape and ready to enjoy the experience.

But I'm really now looking forward to Revenge of the PirateMan, because no matter how I do at IMLP, it will have prepared me well for this new adventure. I don't know anyone else who's done this before (although I'm sure there are a few out there), and I'm not doing it for the accolades or anything--it's just something I wanted to try and see if I could do it. And I'm starting to think that I can do it. I know I can do the first 3 days, easy as pie. And then there's only one more day!

I've got my idol (sorry for the abuse, Buddha!) all set up for the deal. I've got 10 weeks to get ready, which will include a warmup Ironman, and I'm hoping to squeeze in a few other races, because I want the preparation after IMLP to be fun, fun, fun!

Isn't this crazy? I just want to be fit enough to do something I'm not sure I can do, but with each passing day, my body is telling me that I can do it, and I will.