Getting Ready for PCB

I have so much to do this weekend, in the midst of still having a house that is in a state of disarray--although the downstairs bathroom is almost finished, this AM I discovered that my overhead sewer is malfunctioning again (just got it fixed about a month ago so that plumber is going to show up early Monday and not charge me!!!), so I can't do laundry, which is OK, it can wait until Tuesday, but I need to pack and move stuff around so that when I get home from PCB I can relax for a little bit as my laundry room gets torn up.

I'm packing all my hologram wear for PCB, and you can see it above. I need a dress, too ;) Weather looks a bit cool for the thong on the beach, but I think I can heat things up a bit and YES tan up my ass!

Birthday

Beginning this past Monday, I was dreading my birthday. Why? Because last year at this time, my birthday was the day I was suspecting that my Dad was in bad shape, and in fact, the next day, he was admitted to hospital and you can go back and read all about that, culminating in his death on 11/4/2007.

Sometime yesterday, though, I decided I should do some form of "birthday workouts" to commemorate my 52nd birthday (I know, I know, even I can't believe I'm that old). Initially, I was just going to swim/bike/run each for 52 minutes, since I'm not exactly training lately, and was not up for a mega training day, especially since I'd be working. Then, this morning, I got the bright idea that I'd try and do 52 exercise-related things each for some form of "52," like 52 minutes or 52 repetitions or 52 seconds. I started making a list, and it included the swim/bike/run thing, but also a lot of strength exercises that I typically do, only 52 reps is nearly twice what I usually do.

When I woke up this morning, I felt well-rested, and I had eaten a good dinner last night assuming I'd be working out some today. So I got to it early before heading to the pool. I had wanted to do 52 actual exercises, but after working and doing quite a bit and hitting 30 things, I decided that the remaining 22 would be stretches, lest I be so sore tomorrow that I can't do much of anything! I feel like I wimped out, but it is what it is, and I must be old because I didn't do all 52 things, but I totally enjoyed the day even though the contractors were beginning to put together a new bathroom downstairs and work was a little messy.

This afternoon I received these from Cindy:


Isn't the arrangement beautiful? And it smells really nice. I really love flowers, and was pretty happy to get these. I wish Cindy could make it down to PCB to hang with me cheering for my peeps at IMFL. We'll see...

Anyway, below is what I ended up doing today, listed in order of how I did things. When it says, "52 Pickup" the pic below is what I did. Believe me, picking up the cards after what I had already done was another "thing" to do. But the stretching felt really great!

1. Pushups: 52 (regular style not girlie shit on knees). Not so hard.
   
2. Air Squats: 52. Not so hard. I do more than this in a typical strength workout.
   
3. Crunches on Stability Ball w/12 lb. Medicine ball: 52. Not so hard.
   
4. Side Twisting Crunches w/feet on Stability Ball w/12 lb. Medicine ball: 52. Not so hard--my core is in good shape.
   
5. Single-leg Calf Raises: 52 each leg w/30 lb. dumbbells. Not so hard at all.
   
6. Swim: 52 minutes (2800 yards). Fucking easy.
   
7. Vertical Kicking in Pool: 52 seconds. First time I did it without fins. Not very hard.
   
8. Assisted Pullups: 52 (at various amounts unweighted). This was hard, considering I've only gone as high as 10 in the last 4 weeks. I did a pyramid set starting hard, going to easy and then ending with the last one nearly unweighted, and that one hurt. It was pretty funny to sense people watching me do this many, especially since I was wearing hot pink shorts, a pink shirt and pink shoes. Not my usual gym attire!
   
9. Dead Hang: 52 seconds. Felt good after all those pullups.
   
10. Hanging Leg Raises: 52. Not very hard at all. I like these because they really hit my lower abs.
    
11. Side Bridge: 52 seconds each side. Easy!
    
12. Center Bridge: 52 seconds. Easy!
    
13. Jumping Jacks: 52. Easy!
    
14. Standing Hamstring Curls: 52 each leg (30 at 15 lbs; 22 at 10 lbs.). Not hard; not easy.
    
15. Dumbbell Side Raises: 52 each side (30 at 20 lbs; 22 at 15 lbs). OK by this point my abs are starting to feel it.
    
16. Standing Overhead Triceps Extensions: 52 at 20 lbs. Sort of hard. Triceps were already toasty from the pushups and pullups.
    
17. Standing Triceps Pulldowns: 52 at 25 lbs. More torture for my triceps, and they were feeling it during this bout.
    
18. Run: 52 minutes. Since I hadn't really done much leg work, I was able to run fairly decently, but I did notice my upper body was pretty full of lactic acid (I started at noon). So I'll say this was moderately hard, since I need my upper body to run well. Oh and I was drinking Coke (flat leftover from NothingMan) because I knew I had more to do and could tell I was on the verge of bonking. After I finished this, I drank 1/2 bottle of Endurox R4 and ate a gel before heading out to bike.
    
19. Bike: 52 minutes. Relatively easy. Started about 15 minutes after finishing the run. It got colder and I had a good headwind on the way home.
    
20. Jump Rope: Skip both feet 52 times. Easy. Way back before I ran and just did gay aerobics, I would sometimes jump rope (lots of variations) for an hour straight. I'm sure I could still do that--it's just a matter of acclimating my calves, but other than that, jumping rope is all about core strength, and I have plenty of that!
    
21. Wall Squats w/Stability Ball and Small Ball between Knees: 52. Now I could tell my quads were getting fatigued, but still not too nasty.
    
22. Hyperextensions on Stability Ball: 52. I was wondering how these would feel at this point. Really not bad at all, which is good and means my back is in good shape.
    
23. Reverse Hyperextensions on Stability Ball: 52. Again, I thought my back would start to rebel at this point, but it didn't. YAY!
    
24. Reverse Crunches w/12 lb. Medicine Ball between Knees: 52. These got to be hard. My abs were telling me I'd already done enough, and having to lift my hips up on top of it was not too easy.
    
25. Seated Machine Crunches w/Rope: 52 (30 at 50 lbs.; 22 at 45 lbs.). Um...abs were already toasty by this point, but I got it done.
    
26. Knee Extension on Stability Ball; Thighs on Ball: 52. Pretty easy. More pelvic thrusting!
    
27. Knee Extension on Stability Ball; Ankles on Ball: 52. Still easy; hips are still working quite well.
    
28. Suitcase Crunch w/Legs at 90° Angle on Stability Ball, holding 12 lb. Medicine Ball: 52. Pretty easy although abs are tired.
    
29. Hamstring Curls on Stability Ball: 52. Moderately hard. My hammies were not too happy, even though I hadn't done much to them except curls, run and bike.
    
30. Fifty-two Pickup. This was just plain fun. I had to go find playing cards. Of course, I counted them as I picked them up just to be sure it was a full deck!
    
31. through 52: 22 different stretching exercises for a total of 30 minutes. This felt great, great, GREAT!
    

The Importance of Massage to Me

Last night I went to massage school again, although I did not receive a traditional massage. I had some lymph node work done. It felt good, and I know I needed it, because my girl Courtney was finding all these buildups of crap in my neck and arms. But I still need a massage this week, so I'm going to see if I can get an appointment with my main man, Mike, who owns the school.

If you live in my area and are interested in either getting a top notch massage (sports, or otherwise--visit the website which I've also included in my sidebar), look up Sohmar.

I've been getting regular massage for, oh, almost 10 years now, and can't imagine life without it. I thought I could get by for a little while without, but I find it to be a nice supplement to regular stretching and self body work. I'm sure I'm being repetitive about this, but you can't beat having another person work you over to identify areas that you didn't know needed attention! Mike is a triathlete/runner himself, so he's greatly in tune with athletes' needs.

Massage can be just plain relaxing for those of you who don't engage in regular stretching and/or meditation/relaxation techniques. Plus, it's a known fact that the human body craves touch, and while some people are skittish about having some stranger touch them, trust me, it's a good thing to do because fact is, asking your SO to give you a massage is generally going to lead to something else ;) Not that that's a bad thing, either!

Massage therapists are more than willing to work with people who are modest about taking all their clothes off. Me--I will strip butt naked in front of anyone who's giving me a massage--it just doesn't matter. They've been there, done that, seen that. But if you're a triathlete/runner and you need work on your glutes (and you do), it just works better without the undies, you know?

And here's my personal pitch for guys to shave. Yeah, smoothness helps when getting a massage, on whichever part of your body is getting worked on.

So, in summary, take off, then take it off, then get yourself worked over!

Updates

I've not been blogging much lately. Why? Watch the video...been trying to have some semblance of a normal life while having my house upgraded. Bathroom remodeling begins tomorrow. I'm glad to have a work day free of contractors! I get a massage tonight! I had a wonderful weekend! I even managed to do a (nearly) Olympic distance NothingMan last Thursday, which I am calling GhettoMan. Even though I've been stressed out and tired, GhettoMan gave me hope that I can be up for a 1/2 NothingMan in November. I'm excited about going to Panama City Beach next week to be with some great people--Shelley, Brett, Forrest & Regina (rode bikes in their hood a few years back), then I hope to have a girl's weekend at my pad (with the new zebra carpet!), remodeling will be finished (until next year, anyway), and then some R&R at the homestead followed by a trip to Orlando (business) 2nd week of December, which I may extend either to race or just train in (hopefully) good weather. Sheesh--by that point I should be back in "regular" training, which means

CRACKHEAD FUCKING LIVES!!!

Time is indeed precious, and I'm trying not to waste any. I will seek to control the things I can and let go of those I can't, and will do my best to be in the here and now. I like being timed, but I also like not being timed. Either way, time is precious. Apologies for the acid flashback, but I really liked Journey once upon a time, and am finding I still like them. I like big guitars, and I like certain chords, I like melodic music, and Journey has all that, plus I can sing along in Steve Perry's key!

Time is precious!

Weekly Workout Totals 10/06/2008-10/12/2008 and House in Order

I can't believe that I got as much "training" done as I did. Every day was like this:

• wake up really early because I know I have so much to do
• move stuff around, cleaning as I go, before contractors arrive
• work
• try and get in a workout or two
• move stuff around, cleaning as I go after contractors are gone
• eat something while standing up and looking around for more stuff to do
• keep moving stuff around until I pass out

But today, the last 2 rooms are being painted, and I had time this weekend to put my living room and dining room back together. In the process, I touched every surface, taking time to oil all the wood, clean all the glass, and take apart the 2 chandeliers (which will be reassembled today after the brass chains are replaced). As stressful as all of this has been (I have 5 more weeks before the 2 bathrooms are remodeled), I'm glad I'm getting this all done. My house has not been cleaner!

I'm really happy with the new pink color of the living and dining rooms. It's a bit brighter than what I had before:























isn't that walnut wood beautiful?

Yesterday, after I had all the wood polished and table top glass cleaned, I figured I had better hold a brief cleansing ceremony before I began putting things on the shelves. It made me feel like I'd come full circle, being in a point in my life where my parents are gone, my house is almost brand new, I've tossed out all sorts of things, and my life is absolutely great! I found it funny that as I put things back onto the shelves and noticed how much space there was that I couldn't even remember what I had thrown out! I do notice the walls that are now bare where I decided the art work was no longer to my taste, and besides the room looks much cleaner. Below are the cleansing ceremony pics:




























































I found zebra carpeting (click on the link to see it installed--I am so excited!) that I am going to attempt to order today. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they can make the area rug that I want, and that is really going to make the living room look great. Of course, once it's in, I will probably decide other things need to go, but I'm OK with that. When you bring new things into your life, you need to let go of some others--that's just the way it is--you can't have everything!

Interesting that twice this week while running I heard this:


Anyway, here's what I got done last week. Not much sleep, but that is correcting itself already as of today, and I should be able to find time to stretch daily. Also, my prison workouts begin today! This is going to be an awesome week!

Weekly Workout Totals	10/06/2008-10/12/2008 This week's totals are sponsored by home improvement
Swim:	6800 yards (3.86 miles) in 2.4 hours; 19% of weekly workout time; approx. 841 calories burned Canadian: 6217.92 meters
Bike:	Approx. 100.34 miles in 5.73 hours; 45% of weekly workout time; approx. 2581 calories burned; Total TSS=369 Canadian: 161.48 kilometers
Run:	Approx. 24.5 miles in 3.67 hours; 29% of weekly workout time; approx. 1661 calories burned Canadian: 39.43 kilometers
Strength:	0.83 hours; 7% of weekly workout time; approx. 208 calories burned
All Sports:	Approx. 128.7 miles in 12.63 hours; approx. 5291 calories burned Canadian: 207.12 kilometers
Sleep:	6.71 hours avg./night
Stretching:	0.47 hours. Massage: 1.25 hours

Blast from the Past

In taking everything off the shelves in my home office, I came across a folder that my Mom gave me years ago containing schoolwork of mine when I was really young. I will need to go through it all in detail now, but here's something I wrote on some June 2 for English class. My guess is I wrote this in first or second grade. My younger sister is 4 years younger than me. I was constantly sitting her down in front of a magnetic white board and playing school with her before she was even in school. I loved school myself, and I wanted her to love it as much as I did.

Once I tried to teach my little sister who learns the wrong way. She uses purple for faces. I taught her to use peach. One day she used purple. She must have learned or heard wrong. When I had taught her a few things, she thought she could start teaching. So she did. In learning about colors she didn't remember very well. One of the pupils said, "I think Lisa has taught me wrong. I think I have learned the wrong things. I'm positive I am learning the wrong things. The other pupils said that she teaches wrong." I said I knew what was wrong. I told her that Lisa doesn't remember well. So she made you learn wrong. She knew she didn't know everything. So I told her to try not to teach unless she was absolutely sure she was smart enough.

More Notes to Self

I'm now beginning to get ready for the interior painting of my house, which means I will need to empty out closets and the larger shelves, and take everything off the walls. In going through one stash area, I found something that I'm not sure why I kept. It's a small dry erase board that I got from some race somewhere, I have no idea when. It folds in two, and is intended to hold emergency phone numbers, and then it has a "Things to Do" page.

Below, reprinted for your pleasure, are my Things to Do as of November, 2004. I have left out the 3 items that were triathlon related, since they just had to do with some time goals. The list is in order that I wrote them down. I think I sort of had a plan back then, and since that time, many aspects of my life may have changed, but it's still a good list, I think. I suppose I could have written down things like places I want to travel and races I want to do, but I can sort of remember the day I put this together, and this is what I came up with:

1. Find and keep a mate
2. Be my best
3. Think about retirement
4. Stay employed 5 years
5. Be in the moment at work
6. Do a good job
7. Remember what's important
8. Be a better friend
9. Stay strong in the face of adversity
10. Become more self-aware
11. Let go of attachments
12. Surrender

I guess at the time I wrote this down I had a 5-year plan to be ready to retire (yes, it's an early one!), which means just switching gears from a full-time job that pays the bills to something else that I'd really like to do and maybe also moving or at least figuring out where I want to live the next 20 years or so. Or, I could rephrase it to, "If I could do anything I wanted and could get paid decently for it, what would it be?" So I'll leave #3 on there.

Everything else looks pretty good to me. I find it funny that this "Things to Do" list is so reflective of what I now consider important in my life.

This getting my house ready to be painted is becoming emotional. When I pick something up and really look at it and touch it and remember when I got it and what was going on in my life and then decide whether I want to keep it, put it off to the side or toss it, it makes for some thinking. I remember being young and single and carefree and not owning a lot of stuff. Now, I'm no longer young, not as carefree and have a ton of crap! But a lot of it is good crap, you know? Still, I think I will be eliminating a bunch of things. It's good to touch, think, remember, honor the feelings, and then move on. As hard as this is, I know it's the right thing to be doing right now.

Tiki Hut Remodeling!!!!!

Since I'm having quite a bit of work done in my house, I figured I should start on a remodeling project at the Tiki Hut. It's been awhile since the girls (and the one guy) have been able to play, so since they are going to need to relocate for a few weeks, I thought they better get some action first. Interesting choices they made, don't you think?

Luckily, I bought a new camera yesterday, because my other one was acting flaky since July, and as of this morning, it's completely dead. The new camera is easy to use, and I'm dying to try out its video feature.

I'm not posting my "weakly" workout totals, since I didn't get much done last week, but that's OK. I've given in to the fact that all this moving stuff around, shopping for home improvement stuff and relaxing afterwards is what I should be doing right now. I'll get back to serious training soon enough.

And oh, by the way, that 50K race in Chicago is O-U-T!!! I'll be in Panama City Beach, Florida, cheering on Shelley and Brett and replenishing my tan! No doubt I'll get in some running while I'm down there, but the date I'm putting on my calendar as the "official" start of training is December 1. Whatever I get done between now and then is fine with me.

M-Dot Pillow

You might have seen a pic of this on Shelley's blog, but hey, it's better with a Crackhead. Sorry I couldn't match the zebra stripes myself--I'm fresh out of those--so I subbed in a snow leopard. Yeah, I know, I've got crazy devil eyes. I dunno why. Sometimes it just happens!

Things That Are Pink (Again) and Shiny

Louis nearly complained that I pulled a bait and switch the other day, so here's me all decked out for today's run. Let's just say I got a lot of looks, but what else is new? I haven't run since last Friday when I should have known I was getting sick because a) I was fucking tired and b) my legs hurt in a way that's not your normal "I'm recovering from a marathon" way (which turned out to be, I think, muscular catabolism due to whatever virus I had). Anyway, those of you who have been playing along since early 2006 would recognize the tights as those I wore at the 2006 Goofy Challenge during the marathon, but with a tutu. The tutu is retired; the tights are not! The jacket is something I picked up on sale some time last year I don't remember when, and this is maybe the second time I've worn it. Years ago, I made myself a shiny silver jacket that I loved and wore to death and this is my "adult" replacement. I do like feeling sparkly and shiny. I guess that's why I decided to wear this jacket today.

Back to the Future Crackhead

I guess I've been suffering from PNMS (Post-NothingMan Syndrome) long enough. What's the best way to get rid of it? Sign up for something!

Active.com-Registration" will be displayed on your credit bill.
Please print this page for your records.

2008-09-30 14:34:11.56 Order 197098-093008143329

MITCS (Midwest Indoor Tri-Classic Series) All 4 Races

The last time I did these was in 2007, and they, plus some awesome joint planning & scheduling with my former coach, got me on the speed train and prepared me more than adequately for Triple T in May. Each race is held all indoors as a 10' swim, 20' stationary bike ride and 15' track run. All the pain you can handle in an hour! Awards are by total distance covered, so obviously the place to do well is on the bike, and historically I win my wave (including men), age group, and many age groups beneath me on the bike. But that means I need to work hard this winter, and I think I'm up for it.

What I'd do in 2007 (you can check my archives to see race reports) was Friday was my normal swim and run, Saturday my normal 2:30-ish fucking hard trainer ride with a :30 brick run, and then Sunday I'd do the sprint race and follow it up with a 1:30-1:45 run. Nice! Repeat every 2 weeks for 8 weeks. While I had fun last winter/spring doing all kinds of Nothingness, I suppose I should reengage with society and do a few more "actual" races, and these are nice, because they are all close to home and fun to do. I've added the actual dates for the 4 events onto my race sidebar, in case anyone out there decides they want to join in on the fun. Historically, the series fills up by November, and it was serendipitous that I thought about these this morning while talking with a friend poolside.

Oh yeah--I was sick over the weekend and also yesterday, but it appears I've knocked that mostly out of my system. I am unsure about a 50K at this point--if I do it, it will be 50K of Nothing by myself on crushed limestone, as my legs don't seem too happy about asphalt or concrete at this time.

In other news, well, there's been a number of things spinning in my head, and I'm lucky that I have people I can share it with because it is too much to try and put here, and besides, most readers think I'm a little off the charts as it is! And I'm not the sort of person to sit in the lotus position under a pyramid and meditate on things (believe it or not). The way I work through stuff is to train, let things come to me and then tie one of my friends to a chair and make them listen endlessly as I talk at the speed of light trying to get the words out as fast as they are forming in my head. Sometimes I also feed them or give them stimulants to help with their attention span. Or I make them work out with me. All good!

Inquiring minds probably want to know the answers to a few questions:

1. Will there be more bike porn? Probably. Although my tan is fading and I'm not sure it would look very good. Then again, I'm fixing up my interior space real nice, so I may just need to take advantage of it.
   
2. When will we see more of the Tiki Hut? After the interior of my house is painted and I finish putting things back together again, which should be in 3 or 4 weeks. Believe me, I've wanted to bust out the whore, bitch and slut, but there is just no place to put them and besides the contractors might think I'm nuts. In the meantime, I'll just have to keep those ideas about what the girls might be up to to myself.
   
3. When will I be getting back to hardcore training? Tough to say...I'm still in recovery mode and taking it one day at a time. I don't need to be hardcore for what, 8 weeks? Truth is, I had wanted to do a 1/2 NothingMan this past Saturday, but I did the swim and my body said "you're sick" so I DNF'ed. Fuck. I really do want to do a 1/2 NothingMan as soon as I feel ready to do it, so it could be in 2 weeks, 3 weeks, or further out.
4. Is it true I'm actually taking an off season? Fuck. I'm trying not to.
   
5. What foods do I miss most now that I'm barely training? Twinkies and whipped cream.
   

Things That Are Pink

Summer is winding down and so is my garden, so I felt like taking some pics of the remaining, and soon to be gone flowers. I was reminded of when Cindy was here back in June and she remarked over dinner or while biking that she really liked a certain flower in my yard. I asked her which one, and she said, "The pink one!" I laughed. I have a ton of pink flowers!

The 2 pics above are of colchicum, commonly known as autumn blooming crocus. They are entirely poisonous (colchicine comes from them). I always forget about them because they send up leaves in the spring that then die away, and the flowers come up out of nowhere in the fall. They are about 10" tall, which makes them giants among crocus!
These are anemones, another late bloomer that I love because the bees (non-stinging ones like bumblebees and honey bees) love them and apparently stock up before they head into their winter nests. They are very airy flowers, and they leave pollen and petals all over my driveway, but I don't mind!
This is a small, single-petaled, striped pink rose growing in my back yard. I hadn't expected it to bloom again this late, so it was a welcome surprise.
I don't remember what exactly this plant is, but I know it's in the pea family. It is more or less a shrub where all the branches get covered with the pink flowers in late summer/early fall.
This is an annual Cosmos in my front yard. I love watching goldfinches, which must weigh only an ounce, perched on the fading blossoms to collect seeds. While I did plant fresh seeds this spring, I had a bunch of plants that came up from seed left over from last year, and I hope I get that bonus next year, too. What's funny is that many of the plants line the sidewalk in front of my house, and the plants pretty much spill over, and I see some people heading to the street instead of walking through the flowers. Wow, some people must really be afraid of nature if they can't walk through a bunch of flowers!
These are sedum. This is another plant that the bees absolutely love.
I have neglected my roses this year, but some of them refuse to give up! These two were begging me to pick them and put them in a bud vase. I didn't even bother to go get pruners to cut them; I just bit the stems with my teeth!

Three Weeks

FYI, I'm getting back to training. Pretty much one day at a time, but at least I've sketched out how much running I should try and do between now and 11/1, if I'm to do that 50K.

But I really just need to get through the next 3 weeks. After that, I'll have a freshly painted, inside and out, house, complete with new windows and doors. And my street should be finished! New house, new street, new training season.

If you read up on dreams or just even psychology, you'd know that "house" is often a metaphor for one's inner self. Dreams about houses or rooms signify that you are doing "work" on yourself. What the fuck, I am all about working on myself. So much so that it does, at times, feel like actual work. How can I do work when I also have to WORK? How is it that it this first stage of working on my physical house has come down to 3 weeks to go? Then I will need to decide what's next. I suppose subconsciously I decided to begin working on my physical house knowing that I'd be working on my inner house at the same time.

The only problem with finishing one thing is that it means it's time to begin something else. Just like when you find the answer to one question in your life you are presented with the next question. And you know what? From my past experiences, it usually takes about 3 weeks for something to gel in my head and answer the first question and then I'm usually ready for the next one. Maybe that's why coaches recommend a 3-week step up and then 1 week down.

I received a bonus question yesterday--an invitation to the 30 Days of Prison Workouts, care of Louis. He's a guy I met at the outdoor pool this summer who is into CrossFit. Well, I guess I just signed up for it. Starts in 3 weeks. I know I can do the 50 air squats, planks, Superman, anything abs I can do. I can do a few burpees. I'm excited about this because, well, it will be a replacement for my current strength training for a month. I am sure once the month is up that Louis will be pointing me to something else.

There are just too many coincidences here. This is why I write this shit down.

3 weeks. I can't wait! I get to be a prisoner in my own house!

Where am I Going?

Fall is a common time when we think about the past year and look towards the next. A little over a year ago, I was having discussions with my Dad about possibly moving someplace else and him coming to live with me. At the time, I also knew that I'd want to have some work done on my house, after about 9 years of neglect due to my immersion in running and then triathlon, before making such a move. Well, things turned out a little differently. Dad died, but I still wanted to get going on those house projects because I needed to start thinking about where I want to live next, assuming I'm able to change directions in the next few years.

First I had to get the Estate process going, and I got most of it done before IMLP, but then knew I'd still be wanting to train a lot. Something told me in early August that it was time to pull the trigger and start work on the house. That one decision has created a snowball effect. So far, the exterior has been painted and new windows have been installed. Next will be interior painting and redoing some of the window treatments and maybe getting some new furniture in the bedrooms. In the process of moving things around to prepare for the work, things are just screaming at me to do something about them--be it fix up, toss or evaluate for the future. I had begun a general purge of "stuff" last winter, as part of my grief process, and now it continues.

I've kept a page on my office desk blotter at home for 5 years now, and while I moved the blotter and the computers on top of it so I could work in a different area of the house, I just moved them back and decided to read something I'd written to myself 5 years ago, and so I'm going to write it down here before I toss the paper. In rereading it myself, I can see that I probably knew where I was heading, and while I'm not all the way there, I think I've made good progress.

I wrote this on 5/10/2003 at the point where I was injured, unable to run, and knew I couldn't go race in a 1/2 Ironman in Kona in a few weeks. It was devastating to me at the time because, well, I really love Kona, didn't know how long I'd be injured, and it was my first brush with the possibility that I might not be able to run again. As it turns out, I still went to Kona and had a wonderful time cheering for a friend and basically everyone else, I came back from the injury by July as a result of researching trigger point therapy, and I PR'ed in a 1/2 IM after not much training. I went back to a chiropractor I had seen just a few times and he was shocked that I had fixed myself. I was proud of myself because in returning to running, I took an extremely conservative approach, which was a huge exercise in self-control for me. Since that time, I have learned pretty well how to manage potential injuries and also a ton of patience, and obviously, become much more in tune with my body and hopefully my mind.

So, reprinted for your reading pleasure, see if you can see the future themes, many of which I think I've laid out on this blog:

5/10/2003

Dear Sheila,

I know this hurts (literally) and is disappointing. But, you will no doubt benefit from the rest and perhaps reconnect with your health in a new way. Not to mention becoming a better swimmer! Learn from this--listen more carefully to your body and the signals it sends when it needs a break. Tell those around you that you need their help in sounding back at you when you say you are "not 100%." Because you know that you are usually running around 250%. Let others help you. Tell them they need to be honest with you. You are not invincible, even though you have a shell that makes it appear that way. Take care of some other aspects of your life during this time away from training. You were a pretty cool person before you started doing this triathlon stuff, and that part of you is still inside. Don't be afraid of that part of yourself. It's the foundation that has enabled you to be where you are today.

Be thankful. Despite this injury, you are a healthy, beautiful woman. You have friends and family that love you, even when you act self-absorbed and think what you are doing is so amazing. Remember how you always say that the main thing you want in your life is to live every day with integrity, and to set a good example of what's possible to others? You are already living proof of that, and you are not diminished in the eyes of anyone for failing one goal. You need to keep aiming and shooting--sometimes you will hit, and sometimes you will miss. Each miss may hurt, but learn from it so you increase the chance of hitting.

Love,
Me

And of course, I have to reprint my two favorite quotes that are displayed prominently in my home office area that I only ran across for the first time a few years ago:

When the archer shoots for no particular prize, he has all his skills; when he shoots to win a brass buckle, he is already nervous; when he shoots for a gold prize, he goes blind, sees two targets, and is out of his mind. His skill has not changed, but the prize divides him. He cares! He thinks more of winning than of shooting, and the need to win drains him of power.
--Tranxu

To achieve satisfaction in everything
Desire it in nothing.
To possess everything,
Desire to have nothing.
To be everything,
Desire to be nothing.
To know everything,
Desire to know nothing.
--John of the Cross

I think I must have known 5 years ago that I would get to the point of wanting to do NothingMan, and I just right now realized the poignancy of both quotes.

The journey continues!

Historical Crackhead Training & Racing

I'm trying to get over Nothing, but I keep getting something out of it. But I did promise that for whatever reason (those of you addicted to the crack) that I would post my season totals and all that.

First, here are some of the interesting facts:

• Number of insect stings: 3. I may need to get a prescription for an Epi pen since I seem to be reacting more each time I get stung.
  
• Number of times I rode 100+ miles in a day: 8. This is a problem. I'm going to need to get on those earlier in the year, like March-April timeframe. Ironman is all about riding far FAST. I can do plenty of FAST in the winter, add FAR, but then the kicker is FAR and FAST.
• Number of times I swam at the outdoor pool: Not sure, but close to 50. I miss that.
• Number of times I bonked while running: 2 or 3
• Number of hyperthermia incidents: 1. I'm pretty proud that this was my first time :)
  
• Did the most number of triathlons (including Nothings) in a season at 15. That's a whole lot of fun!
• Number of hypothermia incidents: 2--once at Triple T, IMLP.
• Won Grand Master Crackhead division at Triple T.
• Swam in the coldest water I've ever been in at Triple T.
  
• Did my longest run ever.
• Did 2 IM's (1 Nothing) in the rain. Got rained on during a 1/2 NothingMan. Got rained on at Triple T. Got rained on a lot!
• Number of nearly naked pics of me on this blog: I don't know. Count them yourself :) Winner gets to predict my next crazy adventure.

Below is all the data since I started doing this stuff. The only thing I know for sure is that since I was a little low on running and swimming, strength training kept me sound this past season. Stress took a heavy toll on me pretty much through July, but that is mostly in the past now. I am now officially beginning my 2008-2009 year, and I predict that no matter what my time achievements may be, that there will be another bunch of firsts, a whole lot of fun, and great experiences on my own and with others of a similar mindset. I kicked off the season in a unique way--I ran in the desert over this past weekend. Not too far from Death Valley. It's really true--there are dinosaurs in the desert!

Training Year Beg.	Total Run Hours/ Year	Avg. Run Hours/ Week	Est. Total Run Miles/ Year	Est. Avg. Run Miles/ Week	Annualized Run Miles
2000-2001	222.84	4.29	1337.04	25.71	1285.62
2001-2002	244.00	4.44	1464.00	26.62	1330.91
2002-2003	239.92	4.14	1439.52	24.82	1240.97
2003-2004	194.92	3.90	1208.48	24.17	1208.48
2004-2005	188.10	4.00	1166.22	24.81	1290.29
2005-2006	229.74	4.33	1463.72	27.62	1436.24
2006-2007	223.84	4.30	1433.97	27.58	1433.97
2007-2008	200.35	3.93	1284.45	25.19	1309.64
Training Year Beg.	Total Bike Hours/ Year	Avg. Bike Hours/ Week	Est. Total Bike Miles/ Year	Est. Avg. Bike Miles/ Week	Annualized Bike Miles
2000-2001	262.85	5.05	3942.75	75.82	3791.11
2001-2002	275.00	5.00	4675.00	85.00	4250.00
2002-2003	338.48	5.84	5754.16	99.21	4960.48
2003-2004	335.13	6.70	5697.27	113.95	5697.27
2004-2005	274.08	5.83	4796.46	102.05	5306.72
2005-2006	304.86	5.75	5326.86	100.51	5226.35
2006-2007	330.22	6.35	5710.85	109.82	5710.85
2007-2008	319.95	6.27	5596.46	109.73	5706.19
Training Year Beg.	Total Swim Hours/ Year	Avg. Swim Hours/ Week	Est. Total Swim Yards/ Year	Est. Total Swim Yards/ Week	Est. Total Swim Miles/ Week	Annualized Swim Yards
2000-2001	146.67	2.82	366675	7051.44	4.00	352572
2001-2002	166.00	3.02	415000	7545.45	4.28	377273
2002-2003	190.28	3.28	508422	8765.90	4.97	438295
2003-2004	197.72	3.95	563709	11274.18	6.40	563709
2004-2005	158.98	3.38	455671	9695.13	5.50	504147
2005-2006	153.49	2.90	437285	8250.66	4.68	429034
2006-2007	164.56	3.16	471743	9071.98	5.15	471743
2007-2008	143.76	2.82	408658	8012.90	4.55	416671
Training Year Beg.	Total Strength Hours Year	Avg. Strength Hours/ Week
2000-2001	80.00	1.54
2001-2002	65.00	1.18
2002-2003	78.75	1.36
2003-2004	62.93	1.26
2004-2005	45.78	0.97
2005-2006	70.81	1.34
2006-2007	66.27	1.27
2007-2008	75.41	1.48
Training Year Beg.	Total Hours/ Year	Avg. Hours/ Week	%Increase	Annualized Hours/ 50 weeks	Cum. Avg. Hours
2000-2001	712.36	13.70		684.96	13.69923
2001-2002	750.00	13.64	1.00	681.82	13.66780
2002-2003	847.43	14.61	1.07	730.54	13.98215
2003-2004	790.70	15.81	1.08	790.70	14.44011
2004-2005	666.95	14.19	0.90	709.52	14.39018
2005-2006	758.96	14.32	1.01	744.64	14.47395
2006-2007	784.89	15.09	1.05	754.70	14.56253
2007-2008	739.47	14.50	0.96	724.97	14.55464
Training Year Beg.	Stretching Avg. per Week	Avg. Hours Sleep
2000-2001
2001-2002
2002-2003
2003-2004
2004-2005		8.51
2005-2006	1.92	8.54
2006-2007	1.39	8.24
2007-2008	1.79	8.19

Reflections on Nothing

I'm assembling all my stats for my 2007-2008 triathlon season, which officially concluded with NothingMan. I thought I'd get around to posting that this week, but I'm lazy so not until next week.

But I am looking back on the year and just this past weekend and all I can say it's been some kind of ride. I feel kind of like the Phoenix, in that I truly, honestly felt like I was in an abyss from November through mid-February, and then things just got better and better, but still with bumps along the way, leading up to the reemergence of everything that is good and right with the world.

You, or should I say I, can't stop the inevitable cycles of energy/inertia, bliss/despair, success/failure, and believe me, I had it all this past season, and know there will be more of it in my future. But on the plus side, when you've been at your lowest point, like I was last winter, anything not that is like frosting on the cake. If nothing (!) else, I've become much, much more appreciative of not bad stuff and grateful in general.

After IMLP, which ostensibly was not a good race for me, I was happy to keep training for NothingMan, because, well, I was just happy to be able to do it, and I really now feel like that Phoenix in that I feel really, really physically and mentally strong right now. And then NothingMan was way, way better than anything else all year, and I felt like I was celebrating during it, and still am. I had water in my house, the streets were flooded, it rained all weekend, but that was all just the background. The thing about NothingMan is that you go into it knowing that it has the potential to be way more problematical (from a logistical perspective) than a normal Ironman, and you just have to be OK with it! And then move beyond it, and let the experience be and unfold under the guise of you're swimming, biking and running, which also recedes into the background. And so to be ready for NothingMan, I guess what I'm saying is it's not so much the physical training that counts, but the mental aspect and really, really being able to let go of everything so you can move through it (I suppose for the sake of saying you did x distance) in a state of receptivity to what you can learn about yourself.

Hard to explain, but you are doing the physical activity and maintaining awareness of your surroundings, but it's your mind that really gets to exercise. There were some interesting thoughts I had during the weekend that sometimes I'd share and sometimes not. A new one I had this time around was, "I hate myself." But it was funny--almost like I was disassociating from my own self, or maybe from my physical self. Hard to explain. Anyway, there was no time during NothingMan that I felt any true physical pain or concern over my ability to keep going. In fact, I think I could have just kept going, but sometimes you do need to stop :)

I had my first glimpse of NothingMan-ness in 2004 when I think I was finally able to absorb all the training I'd done the prior 3 years and just enjoy my mental state during the marathon at IMC, which is why that race holds a special place in my heart. And then I got that same thing going during the marathon at IMH 2004. And it made me think, how do I get that more often in my life? And that's when my real journey into Nothingness began. In 2005 I went and ran a marathon by myself. I mean, you know, trying to PR and all, which I did do. And it was good Nothingness, because it prepared me for the next year when my Mom died. I don't know why I waited again until 2007 to do my first NothingMan, but something must have guided me, because it prepared me for the death of my Dad.

And so I think that I really got my Nothingness together (if, in fact, it's possible to get nothing together) for this last weekend's NothingMan, because I was able to transcend all the physical stuff and just float through it, knowing that at some level it's preparing me for something else--what, I have no idea, but I'll know it when it happens. Like my body was just a vehicle that was enabling my mind to do its preparation for what will come next. And I got lucky in that my co-NothingMan was in the same place mentally so we could do it together but allow one another to be wherever we were in our heads, which is the whole point. But then again, a person knows they can do Nothing or else they wouldn't sign up for it, right?

I think at some level that a regular Ironman now just sets me up for Nothing, and I am good with that. I'll eventually be able to stop doing Ironman and just do Nothing. I think I'm getting to be pretty good at Nothing! Don't get me wrong--I think you can get some of your Nothing doing actual events, too, but for me actual events can sometimes be way too distracting what with people trying to shake you loose from your own mind--what's up with that? But both actual events and Nothing do serve to awaken you to more possibilities so you can go, "gee, I could do that." I almost think there is nothing that I couldn't do, but sometimes it just needs to be presented at the right time. You can't force the Nothingness to happen. But to me, it's better than some stupid PR for doing something! Although, again, don't get me wrong--I do not want to suck while doing something or nothing, and I know that the physical preparation is also necessary. Holy shit--did it really take me 12 IM's to get here? I guess so.

What's funny is that I think I'm going to go run a 50K in a few weeks. It won't be nothing, but that's what I mean about sometimes doing nothing awakening you to other things. But I already am excited about doing a 1/2 NothingMan in a couple of months. I'm still not locked in on anything between now and May 2009, but I know it's going to be good stuff one way or the other.

And so I will end this post with a pic of me from the weekend that to me captures just how great it was. I can still feel that smile on my face deep down inside, and hope I can hang onto it for awhile! It was taken after we finished riding in the rain at Fermilab on Saturday.

This is not a Race Report

We finished things up yesterday by starting out with 61 miles on the trainer (we ended up at 54 on Saturday) while it rained pretty heavily. That was the easiest trainer ride I've ever done! And then it was time to do the 27 mile run.

It wasn't pouring, but there was still a steady rain falling when we began the run. Both of us having done rainy Ironman's, we knew to lube up heavily. I had planned out a run "route," and the intention was to do 6.5 miles out and then back, and then stay on the same general route, completing how ever many loops we each individually wanted to do to finish things out.

I was totally thrilled that Rob wanted to run with me. WITH ME! I'm in awe of his running prowess, and I had no clue about how I'd be able to run, considering I'd run like crap at IMLP and that I'd felt somewhat injured the last 3 weeks. Plus, I just don't think of myself as a "runner." But whatever it was, I didn't feel too badly, and I was happy for the running motivation, which was helped by the awesome...um...scenery. Thanks, man!

We did the 6.5 mile out and back together, dodging various flooded roads and sidewalks, getting our feet totally soaked, including a downhill at mile 10 where an SUV decided it just had to plow through all this standing water and create a nice wave that washed up onto my calves. Then it was up the 1-mile hill and 2 more miles mostly gentle downhill to finish out the first 13. We stopped back home for some warm chicken broth and a change of clothes and shoes, since the rain seemed to be tapering off somewhat.

Then we both went out 2+ miles, and Rob went another mile out while I wimped out and turned around because I didn't want to have to run back up the 1-mile hill again. I run that hill (well, maybe it's not a hill to him) a lot in training runs, and I just didn't think I had that much hill running in me today.

I stopped briefly at home for some fluids and headed out for my next 2+ out and then back. Rob went out to the 2+ out, saying he'd catch up to me already going back, but it took him a bit longer than either he or I expected. I was running pretty well at this point, but was starting to feel the usual "this is a long way to run" stuff, plus we spent a lot of time on concrete sidewalks, and even though the rain had let up, it would spray on and off. After we were joined back up, we decided we could use some more warm chicken broth back at the house.

At this point (of course it was difficult to do math, and we had to do the calculations probably three times), Rob was at 24.2 miles and I was at 22.2, so I needed to do the 2+ out and back plus a little more to hit my 27. Rob wanted to stay with me and just do some extra miles (no big deal for him), but as happy as I had been to spend so much time running with him (and being amazed that he would run at my pace), I told him he should just do his 27, and I'd enjoy my last 2 miles running alone.

I had put the red blinky necklace on, and it was getting dark (just after 7PM), and the rain had finally stopped, so people were out walking in this park that we ran by 8 times, I suppose after having been cooped up for 3 straight days of rain. I have to say here that there were at least 4 times in this stretch that there was a girl on rollerblades with child in stroller and a friend of hers on the sidewalk that never budged every time we ran by. Where the hell were they going? Apparently nowhere, since while they were camped out in THE EXACT SPOT on this sidewalk about 1.75 miles from home, we've been running a fucking marathon. You could move, you know. I'm just sayin'. Come on, people--get the fuck outta my way here and give me something to run on! Whatever.

I'm sure I looked odd running with the blinky thing on all by myself. Two women looked at me funny, and I felt compelled to tell them that I was running a marathon and that's why I was blinking. At the time it made sense to me, but now that I write it down, how would someone think that the two things were related?

It felt pretty good when I was about where mile 26 would be, knowing that now I was doing something I'd never done before. After my little rough patch around miles 20-21, my legs were again feeling pretty good, because I knew I was about done. When I got home, Rob kept making me run up and down my driveway trying to get a finishing shot of me running--don't know whether he got one or not, but I was laughing because I could have kept running, but I did sort of want to stop. My right foot never did bother me one iota and neither of us got blisters or chafed, and yeah, maybe it wasn't a big deal because we spread things over 2 days, but still, we just ran 27 miles (I ended up running my 27 in 4:35, what the hell!), and yet we felt pretty great.

There were then many beers, a bottle of champagne and pizza, many, many smiles and general good feelings. I don't remember all of what we talked about last night, but it was all good, including the usual endorphin high, sense of accomplishment and all that. It's really difficult to talk about how doing something like this feels. It's way different than an actual race--in some ways, so much more satisfying--and when I look at how I rode and ran, it was really good for me, so I think that I have some more unexplored potential. Maybe.

OK, so those are some of the facts. Here's the important stuff: the whole weekend was fucking awesome. I had a good hunch that Rob and I would get along really well, and we did, and I can't think of anyone else I'd rather have done this with. It just worked between us without any effort. All I had to do was point him in in the right direction and he was good, and he provided a lot of great decision making when I couldn't seem to do it, gave me a little bit of HTFU on Saturday and got me to run really well on Sunday. We had quiet stretches, thoughtful periods and plenty of laughs.

It was Nothing and Everything and perfect! I highly recommend it, but you know--next time around there might be NothingMan qualifiers :)

Oh--by the way--I am registered for Ironman Canada 2009 as well as IMLP 2009. How did that happen, you ask? Well, Brett told me he got into IMCA during the unanticipated online registration a few weeks ago, and I was talking to him about how great that race is and how I'd like to do it again. And then fate took over, as a second online registration opened up, but I still wasn't thinking about it until Rob told me he was going to try and get in, and I thought I'd try (knowing that I could do both IMLP and IMCA) but really didn't think I'd get in, and then we were talking on the phone and trying to register at the same time (it's true what they say--simultaneous Ironman registration really is hot), and we both got in at about the same time, and neither of us had really planned it, but now it's done. So I get to do the infamous IMLP/IMCA double. How fucking cool will that be?

But I'm pretty sure I'll still find a way to do something nothing soon enough. I'm not sure I can wait another year for it. I know that whenever it is, it will be good and everything I thought it was cracked up to be. Just like NothingMan 2008. It really was something.