Ironman USA Lake Placid Race Report--Race Morning

This is my pink TY collection (so far). Third from the left is the Fucking FeFe poodle I spoke of in the Preamble...

Race Morning

I woke up to pee maybe 3 minutes before my alarm went off at 3:30AM. Actually, it was 3:20AM, but for some reason I had this alarm clock set 10 minutes fast. I was about to doze off after peeing when it sprang into action. I rarely need an alarm clock, so this was a bit of a shock to the system, but I had gotten plenty of sleep (about 7 hours), so I didn’t feel poorly. I didn’t want to wake Rich right away if at all possible, so I just turned on the bathroom light in our small hotel room.

First things first—I retrieved my pre-mixed Gag Juice (Ultrafuel) from the fridge and began drinking it. I just couldn’t shoot the entire thing at once, but I think I drank about ½ at once and then the remainder about 5 minutes later. I wanted to get that stuff down (400 calories worth) so that some of it could flush through my system.

Next, I began getting dressed. I had laid everything out the night before, so it was chip, tri shorts, bra top, singlet, t-shirt, Spongebob Squarepants pants and Paul Frank sweatshirt. I was debating whether or not to wear the bra top under the singlet, but then I had flash thoughts about nipple chafing, so I went with it.

Rich probably heard me scuttling around like a squirrel and woke up, and he went to locate coffee. I felt pretty relaxed and all, after all, the past 4 days had just been a waiting game, and it was time to get this show on the road. I pulled all my bags from their overnight position on the side of my bed onto the open floor space and started double-checking things.

While Rich was gone, I snapped a photo of myself in front of the mirror with the “GO” sign replacing my head, I guess as some sort of motivational tool.

Rich got back around 4:15 with the coffee. It seemed he had been gone forever, though! Sometimes it’s a good thing when time drags—other times not so much. Coffee was a welcome sight, meaning I could add my Power Bar Triple Threat (another 230 calories, which I can only eat with coffee in hand) to my stomach so that I’d be topped off with carbs save for part of a Gatorade.

Usually, I will eat a Succeed capsule or two the night before an Ironman, but I drank about 80 oz. of Gatorade on Saturday, so I figured I’d had plenty of sodium. Not only that, but my custom Infinit mix is loaded up with electrolytes, since I’ve learned over the years that I sweat rather concentrated (I DNF’ed with hyponatremia at Ironman Wisconsin 2003).

Somehow the next 25 minutes or so passed. Part of it was taken up by Rich bodymarking me. Since I had donned fake tattoos on both biceps and also my calves, he made some comment about how to fit my number (2488) on, and I said just do ½ above the band and ½ below. When he got to writing my age on my calf, he had to ask me again how old I am. Sometimes I hate saying it because I really don’t feel my age most of the time. In fact, because of how silly and giggly I can get and some of the pink decorative items I tend to accumulate, recently one of my girlfriends said to me, “What are you, twelve?” But, hey, age is what it is, and so I coughed up the big FIVE OH.

I don’t remember what else went on in that time slot, but I know I didn’t feel edgy. I suppose a big part of that was due to Rich more or less taking care of me, which is something I’ve never had the luxury of before. Well let me back up—I have had a non-racing friend with me a few times before, but not someone with the same experience level as Rich, so they would know what to do and how to react (or not) to my squirreliness. Before Ironman Hawaii in 2004, I was pretty stone-faced and nervous, and I didn’t want my friends to look at me, touch me, or touch anything that was going into transition with me.

Some of my pre-Ironman attitude depends upon what I’m going into the race with, goal-wise. I have had pipe dreams in the past of Kona slots, but this time, I wasn’t even thinking about that, so I guess some of the pressure was off and I could be my normal calm, joking self.

When it was time to go, we got in the car, and Rich knew where to park the car because while he’s not raced this Ironman before, he’s attended and knows some secret spots. We parked, got out and walked down a hill (I’m not saying where), and soon enough I’m at the entrance. He sort of looked at me like, “Are you going to be OK?” and I told him I was good to go and that I’d see him later.

I got into transition by 5:15, and first I dropped off my Ultra Violence that was lovingly loaded into my Big Bertha Fuel Belt into my T2 bag. Then I headed for my bike. When I had checked in Bitchie, I forgot to deflate the tires a bit and almost went back to do that, but Rich assured me not to worry about it (I have never over-inflated a tire), so I left things alone. I put my bottles on Bitchie, the SRM meter, and then I checked the tires. I have Tufo tubulars on my Cane Creek Chronos (with Titanium spokes, thank you very much, I’m such a fucking poser), and those tires don’t deflate much at all. In fact, when I loaded Bitchie into the box before leaving for Albany, the tires were super hard after not being ridden for 2 weeks!

So in the space of maybe 5 minutes, I’m done. Now what the fuck am I supposed to do? I have my own pump, and there are lots of people in line waiting to get their tires pumped, so I decided to play Good Samaritan, since I’ve got loads of time on my hands, and randomly selected athletes to pump up. For some reason, each one I selected was an Iron Virgin, and I had my calm on, and knew to speak softly and calmly to them as I asked them what pressure (although I always guessed 120PSI). I got a little nostalgic looking into the eyes of some of these guys, thinking how exciting it is to be doing your first one. I tried not to act all jaded when they would ask me how many Ironman races I’ve done. Crap—it’s making me cry just writing about this. I felt like some saint ministering to the needy. For one poor guy, the valve stem broke off on his front tube, and I could tell it was old. It was only 5:30AM, so I calmly told him he had plenty of time to get that tube changed, and I pointed him to where Tech Support was located.

As I was walking back to begin suiting up, I spotted Chad and Steve, two guys I had ridden with back in June (they are the genesis of my Hottie Brigade on Flickr). Chad was pretty relaxed, but Steve looked pretty nervous. Still, we shared hugs, and I offered up my pump. Chad was also running Tufo tubulars, so I noted to him that they don’t lose much pressure, which was why the pump head kept popping off. We went by feel on his tires, and everything was all set.

Next, I got in line for the porta-potty to hopefully take a good dump (sorry, but we all do it, you know?). While in line, I heard a guy talking about how he had 3,600 of calories loaded into his bike bottles! I was unsure of whether to bite my tongue or not, and I decided to have a little heart to heart with the man. I told him that that’s probably about what he’d burn, but to plan on only replacing ½ of that. He said he’d done this in training, but I cautioned him that the stomach often does interesting things when the heart rate is jacked up due to racing and all, and that he should be prepared to modify his plan if needed. He was OK with this, and I got my turn and was successful in my mission.

I went over back to my bags, which were also in the end zone of the bag area. I am so old (Studio Audience: HOW OLD ARE YOU???)…I am so old that I don’t even rate a rack to put my bags on. In a way, though, that was a good thing, because my bag position, just like my bike rack, was easy to find. Just go all the way to the fucking end of all the bags!

I started stripping my dry clothes and everything right at my bag spot. I saw Shelley putting on her wetsuit and we had a hug before the big day began. I finished up getting my suit on, and then began milling around, figuring I should head down to the lake. On my way out, Rich flagged me down. I hadn’t expected to see him until much later in the day, so it was nice to see him again. I think I did a little bouncy dance in front of him—not sure why. Guess I wasn’t feeling too stressed, although I had a moment right then where I wanted to cry, but I didn’t. We jabbered for a few minutes until someone else he knew spotted him, and I took this as a cue to get my butt out of there.

I began the walk down to the lake, and the sidewalk was now carpeted with something resembling Astroturf. There were spectators walking on there with shoes, which got me upset, so I began telling people with shoes to get off the carpet so it wouldn’t get too full of rocks and assorted other shit. Some of them were clueless, so I’d tap them lightly and ask again. Some of the other athletes looked at me like I must be pretty gutsy to do something like that, but I am not a person of inaction. Sometimes people are just stupid and don’t realize what they are doing, and I didn’t know what non-athletes were doing in the chute, anyway.

As soon as I got down to the lake, Mike spotted me. How the hell he recognized me all neoprened up I don’t know, but I guess it’s my short, blond hair or something. It was nice to see a familiar face, and at this point, I began emitting an almost continuous string of F-bombs, which made Mike laugh. I told him that once I am about to go off, this is what happens, and I think I had motor mouth. But we kept smiling and laughing and we went into the water together and generally trying to keep one another as loose as you can be before you are about to start an Ironman.

I ended up lining up with the 1:10-1:15 crowd, or so they said. I am definitely capable of a 1:10-1:15 swim, so I thought this would be good. I had read about the 2006 race and how congested the swim was, and that there was lots of flailing and body contact, so I wasn’t looking forward to the melee, but what are you going to do?

In no time, the National Anthem was playing, and we were going to start.

Ironman USA Lake Placid Race Report--Preamble

The rest will come out in a separate installment--there may be separate installments for swim, bike & run--not sure yet.

Please be sure and visit my Flickr page if you haven't already seen the photos that go along.

Wednesday, 7/18

My flight was scheduled to leave at 6:05PM. Got to the airport, and things looked good—called-for rain was holding off. We boarded on time, and then got out on the runway, only to find it had started raining, rather hard, and that there would be delays. We were queued about 30 deep, and so I listened to the tower chatter to get a handle on when we would leave. We ended up leaving about 2 hours late, and I found out when I got to Albany that we were one of the last planes to get out of O’Hare, as the weather got so bad they couldn’t get anyone out. Now, all I had to be concerned with was whether my bike had made it on the plane or not.

Since I was supposed to take off at 6:05, I had only bought a sandwich to eat around 5PM, and of course while we were on the tarmac there was no food or beverage service, and now I was beginning to be pretty hungry, but what are you going to do?

At Albany International, I waited patiently for the baggage to get off the plane, and got my rental car while that was happening. Slow fucking line. Retrieved my bike and checked bag while waiting for the rental to process. On the plus side, I got $20 bucks off because they had my Hertz Gold Card information in the computer.

Get everything in the car, and left the airport at 11:30. Easily make it to I87 north, and it’s a really nice road except it’s fucking foggy. So I’m tired, hungry, thirsty, and driving on a road I’ve never been on in thick fog. BRILLIANT! It made me feel like I was on an adventure (which, of course, I was).

Drive, drive, drive, trying not to be paranoid or fall asleep, because it’s so fucking dark and foggy and staring at the white lines and reflectors has got me hypnotized. I stopped at a rest area to score some caffeine, but the fucking machine ate my money. So I just took off and kept driving. 101 miles on I87 north, so at least I didn’t have to keep looking at a map. Exited onto 9N which turned into 73, and 27 miles on that, and I’m almost there. I start recognizing the bike course. Isn’t that amazing? Here I was last here 6 years ago, and I’m recognizing the bike course!

Thursday, 7/19

Get to the hotel about 2AM, and find out my room is on the second floor, so I just left the bike case in the car (leave the gun—take the cannoli). Schlep my bags upstairs, take a few things out and pass out after several cups of water. Starving, figure that’s what will wake me in the morning.

Nope—the sunrise woke me up. But I still managed about 4 hours of sleep or something like that—I’m not really sure. I figure I can catch up tonight. Besides, I have things to do. I head out to score coffee at McDonald’s and get a breakfast sandwich, too. I shouldn’t be eating this crap until AFTER the race, but oh well, I needed food RIGHT NOW. That did the trick! Get back to hotel and run into Shelley. How nice to see her! She’s looking all buff and happy, and I think from that point on it was non-stop chatter between the two of us.

Shelley and I had agreed beforehand we would run in the UPR (UnderPants Run—originally staged in Kona because of all the guys running around in Speedos, this fun run features mostly guys in their tightie-whities running through town), so we suited up to find out when/where the hell it was and went into town. We went down by the swim start and ran into Graham Fraser (the head of Ironman North America or North American Sports or whatever the hell they call themselves today), who remembered me from my mooning incident at Ironman Wisconsin in 2005 (it didn’t take much reminding!). He called Paula Newby-Fraser, who consulted with Paul Huddle, who said there was not going to be a UPR. What the fuck, people?

So Shelley and I head to the expo. Went to Inside Out Sports to get bottles, CO2 cartridges and reflective dots (which we ended up not using or needing). Then, we score some coffee from Green Mountain Coffee Roasters. At first I lined up 4 shot cups, but then I realized I needed to carry it with me so I just filled one of my new water bottles with ½ Espresso and ½ Mountain Blueberry (a delicious combination, if I may say so myself). Got a nice photo with the guy representing. The coffee was excellent, and so I started getting my caffeine buzz on.

Next it was off to the TP Massage Ball booth to reconnect with Cassidy, a friend of Kurt Egli (I know Kurt from an online LISTSERV group called TRI-DRS). Cassidy was at Ironman Wisconsin 2005 and witnessed the infamous mooning incident, so of course he was all over Shelley and me taking some photos with hardly any clothing. As we were stripping, a crowd began to gather around the booth for some reason. Graham Fraser showed up (the guy stalks my butt, I swear). We get some frontal shots, and then I tell Shelley it’s time to hang a moon. She declines, but I happily drop trou and the audience was pleased, I think. We put our clothes back on and nonchalantly walked away to go register.

Registration was no big deal—it was in the high school at the top of the oval. Found Colossal Quads (Nick), my first official hottie spotting of the day and got a nice photo of him. After registration (it was pissing rain), Shelley and I split up and I connected up with Cindy. We agreed to meet for lunch, and meanwhile I went to McDonald’s to partake of their fine, free WIFI (well it’s only supposed to be free the first time, but I’m going at different times of day so no big deal), and then I go to Cindy’s hotel for more WIFI and chuckles.

I bought these TY pink poodles with clips so you can hook them onto bags or whatever for both Cindy and Shelley (and one for me, too). The poodle is part of the “pinky” collection, and was named Pinky-Poo, but I crossed out that name on the label and wrote “Fucking FeFe.” FeFe is my Slowtwitch user name, and I happen to like the color pink and also poodle paraphernalia, although actual poodles are not my thing unless they are standard size—I’ve been bitten by two toy poodles. Shelley got me some panties (she is always buying me panties—people, it’s OK to send me panties if you have my address—size small, I like red, pink, Hello Kitty, Joe Boxer, Nick and Nora, anything unusual).

Anyway, Cindy, Jovan (Cindy's husband) and I head to lunch (their son, Matthew, is off at kid’s triathlon camp). We go to the Great Adironack Brewing Company in town. Jovan and I order beers that are in souvenir glasses, and each glass has a quote on it. Mine says “I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” Said by Frank Sinatra. I ask the waitress if we can have the glasses and she says you have to pay for them. I wink at her like maybe I want it without paying, but I’m on the up and up. Jovan and I each have another beer, and the waitress flips my fork onto the floor when refilling my water glass, so I tell her I should get the beer glass for free due to my “incredible inconvenience.” She laughs and I know we will work something out. When the bill came (which I picked up since Jovan and/or Cindy are always buying me shit), I told the waitress I’d just tip her extra for the beer glass, and Jovan and I each kept ours.

After lunch, Cindy needed to do shit like register, so I went back to my hotel and then McDonald’s to download photos and upload to Flickr and do a blog post. I had dinner plans with the Canadians at Tale of the Pup, and hoped Kurt Egli and his wife, Shelley, would be there. The crowd assembled, and yep, Kurt and Shelley were there, and also somebody and his girlfriend who won't stop pestering me. Meeting Kurt was a buzz. Right out of the gate he’s calling me names, and I think I was right back at him. Damn smartass! Well, I guess I am, too. He kept calling me a weirdo. What the fuck, man? I may be many things—Crackhead, attention whore, etc., but I don’t consider myself a fucking weirdo. Oh well, I guess coming from Kurt that’s a compliment.

I spot a giant fake lobster, and of course, since I love all things crustacean, insist on Shelley taking photos of me with it. The lobster pictures were fun, the food was good, the company was great, and then I head back to the hotel, and my next “to do” is to wait for my pimp (AKA my coach), Rich, to arrive. Several calls about “where the hell are you on the road” and such resulted in my telling him how to get here from I87 and that I’m in room 16 and I’ll leave the door unlocked and he can just come on in. I was pretty tired from not sleeping again, and I was happy that I passed out around 9:30. When Rich walked in, I was a bit disoriented, but I didn’t think it was the midnight stalker. He just said, “Hi,” or something, and then I sat bolt upright in bed to get my bearings and then I realized it was him. This was a good thing, because now I had my bike, my coach, my friends, and everything was assembled in Lake Placid to do a race. Finally!

I never did work out on Thursday—it pissed rain most of the day, and then with getting the bike put together and the meeting up with old and new friends and waiting for Rich and no sleep, there was no point in working out.

Friday, 7/20

Despite my midnight guest arrival, I managed to sleep pretty well, but I still got up before 5:00AM, because I’d just been used to it for weeks, so why stop now? I tried to be as quiet as possible, and I snuck out and headed to McDonald’s (again) for some coffee and WIFI. I figured Rich needed to sleep later, and I already know he’s a pretty good sleeper (bonus: he does not snore and looks cute sleeping), and I figured I’d bring him some coffee back. I don’t remember if I got another breakfast sandwich—I shouldn’t have, but the call of the wild McD’s can be like a siren if you’ve got an impending Ironman.

I went back to base camp around 6:30, and delivered some coffee to Rich. When I was packing for the trip, I told him I was bringing Nutter Butters and he told me not to, because he was back on the good eating wagon, but I brought some because I thought *I* might actually eat them. Well, I never did eat any, but Rich hit them first thing Thursday morning, and when I asked him what’s up with that, I think he just grinned like a little imp and said, “I’m eating Nutter Butters for breakfast.” Whatever, dude, who am I to be critical? After all, I was the one eating Twinkies with whipped cream on them a few weeks earlier.

I suited up to swim. Shelley and I headed down to the swim start and met up with Cliff and Darren and assorted other hotties. I ended up swimming 1.2 miles in a pretty decent time. The water was very nice and cool and flat. Shelley headed back to do some stuff, and I stuck around to mostly just watch (I don’t need to listen anymore) Rich yak and take pictures. I waited until he and Patrick McCrann (his business partner) were done. Finally, Rich came up to say hi to me, and I told him I just wanted to meet Patrick in person, and we discussed our respective plans for the rest of the day, which didn’t include lunching together (no big deal), but Rich invited me to dinner with someone else he coaches, and I said I’d go. I didn’t know if it was an afterthought to invite me or what, but I suppose that’s a guy thing anyway, so again, I’m not getting worked up about much of anything.

A few peeps came up to me and either shouted “Sheila” or “Hey, Crackhead,” and either way I knew they were looking for me. I met Swordfish and Dan English and then Kurt showed up again and I asked him to take a picture of my new Hello Kitty panties but his eyes and hands were not on the same wavelength, so the picture came out weird.

I finally headed back to the hotel, calling Shelley on the way to see if she was still available for riding, and she was. I suited up in my brand-new Ironcamp kit, which nobody else owned let alone had worn yet. It looked really cool with my bike, and Shelley looked great on her bike, so us two Iron Beeyotches took off (Eh?) to ride a bit. With all the fucking traffic into downtown Lake Placid, and us not having a chase car, we decided to just bike the run course, which was fine. We had a grand time, but even before we got out of town we were spotted by some peeps we know (Mike and others) and I got a lot of comments about both my Bitch and my kit. I knew I was styling, what the hell? If I’ve learned one thing in this sport, is that you have to LOOK GOOD!

So we get the hell out of town and ride and have a great time observing others out doing the same and all that. The memories are coming back—I remember the run course—how fucked up is that? I guess Ironman memories are pretty strong.

When we are finished, I tell Shelley I need to run and she said she’d chill and we could go get lunch together. So I ran about :25, starting uphill from the hotel, which was excellent. I let myself have my emotional moments, since I needed to get that out before race day, and it pissed a little on me, but I didn’t care. The run felt good, and when I got back to base camp, I asked Shelley if I had time to shower and change quickly, and she said yes.

So then we all head out to try for some lunch, and place #1 is flat out closed. It’s 1:30PM, people, what the hell??? So then we ask for a recommendation for another place, and we go there, and it’s got like 3 tables which are full, so we are shut out, and I suggest why not just go back to Tale of the Pup, since they will be open and we know they have good food? That worked, and we went back to the scene of the Thursday night crime and we were happy.

We drank some beers (why stop now?) and were getting our buzz on (to wash away my caffeine buzz from earlier—ask Shelley how big of a motor mouth I had while I was workin’ the caffeine gig), and I started thinking about making signs to put out on the run course, and I just had an outpouring of ideas. Shelley needs to remind me of all of them, but here are a few:

• Your Dad Sucks
• You’re so Fat—I can’t hear you
• Titanium Bike: $5,000. Zipp Wheels: $1,500. Aero Helmet: $250. 25 pound beer gut? PRICELESS.

I can’t remember the rest of them, but I know I wrote down at least 15 ideas. Shelley’s son, Eric, was a hoot, because he was just encouraging me. The kid should hang out with cheap Ironman drunken women more often! Most of the ideas did not come to fruition, which was probably a good thing.

We head back and I don’t remember what I was doing—maybe I went back to McDonald’s for some WIFI—oh yeah, I did that, and I just got some (blech) Powerade to claim I was a first-timer and could I get the free WIFI, please? Of course, I got it and posted more crap to the Internet, because, well, you know I have obligations to fulfill. I decided I needed more beer, so I went out to get some, and I went to a Wine & Spirits place, but in New York State they don’t mix beer and wine (what the hell is up with that?), so I was admonished to visit another establishment for the beer, and I scored a 12-pack of local stuff.

When I get back to the ranch, Rich is laying in bed reading, and he sees the beer and he’s like, “You’re drinking?” And I say, “Yeah, what the hell.” So I offer him one and he takes it, and I open one for myself. I tell Rich that there are two things that I will not do without a beer in hand: 1) pack or unpack my bike in the box and 2) make up Ironman transition bags. Rich was well aware of the whistling ban while I’m making up the bags, but I think I let it go this time. Having already done 8 Ironman races, my bag packing is now like clockwork, and I just don’t put much in there, so I was done in a flash and could relax and partake of a second beer before dinner.

At some point Rich just sits bolt upright and says, “Ready?” Well, I am still a girl, and I want to look nice for the others, so I quickly change into my white Target whore pants (hereafter known as TWP’s) and a tank from Athleta. I was feeling all lean and mean and skinny and whore-ish. What the hell? I got the figure to pull this off, I may as well. I don’t remember whether I was wearing underwear or not. I may have gone commando!

So we drive there and it’s a really nice place and I meet the peeps and we sit down in this really nice restaurant called Kanu. As soon as we are all seated, the waitress brings us “complimentary sparkling wine” to toast. I guess she must have known some of us were doing the race. I can’t turn down a good sparkler, so I partake. And then we start jabbering, and wine is ordered, and I’m asked if I want a glass, and I’m like sure, why not, and I turn to Rich and say, “Good thing we started drinking earlier, huh?” And he smiles and we got some really great food and had some great conversation.

10:30PM and we’re back at the hotel, and boy did we need sleep! I passed out in about 10 seconds.

Saturday, 7/21

I don’t remember whether I had set an alarm clock or not—I doubt it, because at this point I could use some sleep. Wake up a bit groggy and hung over—oh well, it’s not race day so I can deal. Rich offers to drive me around the bike course, since he has to pick up a loaner bike to ride at a place that’s just off the bike course. I’m all over that, and we stop just at the end of town and I get coffee, water and Gatorade for the rest of the day.

The ride was beautiful. The rain had finally stopped altogether, and it was nice to be out just looking around. Rich was giving me pointers about this and that area, and I think I paid attention maybe 50% of the time. We talked about a bunch of stuff, and he’s convinced me to do a Wildflower double—1/2 Ironman on Saturday and Olympic on Sunday. Sounds right up my alley, right? And then we are both doing Triple T at the end of May (Rich has not done it before). Now I’m thinking maybe I should try and sneak in a visit to Colorado Springs in between those two events, so maybe I’ll return from California via Colorado.

I told Rich about my first triathlon coach and how he had been engaged to be married and his fiancé was in a car accident and when she came out of it, she never remembered her fiancé and how angst-ridden the man was. Rich made some comment about how he might try that tactic at some point. Um…I can forget if you can forget :). I think it was Friday he told me he bought himself pink socks that say HOTTIE on them, and I was like, at least I wouldn’t buy something like that for myself. Oh wait—yes, I would. Sorry, Rich, I lied to you.

Aaaaaaaanyway, when we finished driving the course, we stopped to have breakfast (about 11:00AM) in town, and despite some slow service, we had a good meal. The day appears to be going in slow motion—I am as calm and relaxed as can be, no cares in the world. I think part of that was due to having a hangover, but the other part was, hey I’ve done this many times before and also knowing that the weather was predicted to be fucking excellent.

After driving the bike course, Rich doesn’t exactly feel like riding the bike that day, and I don’t really need to do anything, but I do want to go for a short run, which I manage to do despite having eaten so close to it. I figure this is another opportunity to be tough—running while full of eggs and trout and toast and potatoes. The run sucked a bit, but I still got it done. I needed to do something!

Rich said he’d drive me to bike check-in, but I wanted to ride down there and then have him pick me up. Turns out I picked a good time to go (around 1PM), and car traffic wasn’t too bad going into town. I sported my Ironcamp kit, because I need to look good at all times when I’m representing! I had arranged to meet Steve (the guy who got me to sign up for my first Ironman) at transition. He said he was at my bike spot, which I playfully referred to as the “end zone,” as I was in the very last rack.

I see Steve and we have a hug. Some other women are fixing up their bikes. Me? I just rack it and cover the saddle and bars with plastic grocery bags. DONE. I’m looking at all these other bikes that have tons of crap on them, and my Bitch weighs NOTHING. So I playfully say to Steve, “See? I don’t use an aerobottle anymore.” So this chic then asks me what do I do if I don’t use an aerobottle? I walk over to my bike, and point at (video here would be priceless) the cage on the seat tube, then each one on the XLAB, saying, “BOTTLE…BOTTLE…BOTTLE.” I think Steve was just about losing it at this point. So the chic then asks me, “How do you drink?” I make the universal hoisting a beer sign, saying, “Like this.” OK, people, yes I know I sometimes make fun of newbies, but this was all in good fun, because I was laughing the entire time, and I did answer all questions asked, and come on, the woman was just setting me up!

Rich had forgotten the battery charger for his laptop so he asked if he could use mine. At first, I wanted to get it back so I could do my daily religion of downloading photos and writing a blog post, but then I reconsidered and told him to go have at it and come back whenever. I spent the next hour or so fixing my bottles (I love my fucking bottles—and no comments from the peanut gallery about them, you understand me???) and taking photos of my bottle shrine. I decide I want to eat dinner early, even though I should still be full from lunch, so I head out to try a place Rich had recommended, only it’s just closed at 3:30 (what the hell), so I try another place, and it’s also closed, and finally I try this small pasta place called Villa Vespa. I guess that means “house of little Italian scooters.”

Anyway, this restaurant is one that was recommended to me by my very first triathlon coach 7 years ago, but I didn’t go there in 2001. Today was the day. I got a dinner for me and one for Rich to go. I headed back to the hotel and chowed down on spaghetti with sausage and meatball, some bread, a little salad, and some water. Then I gathered up my CD player (no, I still do NOT have an iPod, sure call me dumbass—I don’t care) and a beer and went outside to gaze at some clouds and get into my happy place, which I thoroughly enjoyed. I’m still out there laying on the grass when Rich waltzes up and tries to flag me down like I’m way off in the distance. I see him and just wave. I need to keep a bit more of this up, and I stretch and I’m feeling all great.

Finally about 7:00PM I go back into the hotel and now it’s business time. Rich asks me when I need to get to sleep and at first I say 8:00 but then I back off until 8:30. He’s watching some Transformer/Vampire movie thing, which I’m not really interested in and I did doze off a bit around 8:00, but then got up and watched a bit more before actual bedtime. Then I get asked what time am I getting up and I say 3:30 and he says, no really waking up and I say THREE THIRTY. That’s how I do this. So the alarm is set and it’s all over but the race.

To Keep You Entertained until the Race Report is Ready...

These three photos were taken by a friend, Cathy Taylor, who was present in 2001 when IMLP was my first Ironman. I don't quite remember her pointing the camera at me, but I really like these pictures. I look like I mean business, don't I? But hey, the one with the sponges is clearly during the second loop, and I'm all smiles. What the hell is up with that? I think I have way too much fun doing this and I need to learn to dig deeper to go faster...but somehow I think I will always manage a ton of smiles :)

Workin' on the Race Report

So this morning I woke up at 2:15AM so I could put remaining crap in the car and drive to Albany International Airport to make a 7:00AM flight back to Chicago.

I had wisely bought a large coffee yesterday at McDonald's to drink this morning (down the hatch, as they say) so that I'd be semi-awake for the 140-mile drive.

The drive was uneventful except for numerous pairs of eyes on the sides of the road--there wasn't much fog to drive through this time.

I had pretty much decided what the hell, I'm drinking on the plane, so when it was time for drinkie-poos, I ordered up a Bloody Mary. I was already hard at work on my race report, as you can see from the above documentation. The Bloody went down real sweet, and the plane landed early and I was home by 8:30AM. NICE!!!

I've got a ton of writing to do--you know me--the race report will be an opus. My bike box is empty save for the bike, and I already did laundry, had a nice 2-hour nap, bought some more beer (Mmmmmmm.......beer) and I'm ready to type away before I pass out blissfully. Then I get to try and work tomorrow!

Stay tuned peeps...this one's gonna be good!

Ironman USA Days 2 and 3

Since I know you all are most interested in the pics:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/8737154@N04/sets/72157600969457981/

The race report will take a few days. Suffice it to say, I had a great time. Not a bad finish--my 2nd fastest Ironman, and I took 7th in my age group, which I guess is not too shabby. I stood in line this morning to register for next year, and when I called my pimp, who was already on the road back to JFK Airport to fly home to California, he didn't even say hello, all he said was, "So did you sign up for next year?" Yeah, he's got me figured out all right.

Highlights of my race day: I mooned the crowd at the IGA Hill (no shit, I am not kidding) after performing a little razzle-dazzle footwork to some tuneage; I totally enjoyed riding my Bitch; Cindy and Shelley both had PR races out there, I saw Kurt running the last Penalty Tent on the bike course, and my coach harrassed...er...encouraged me throughout the marathon. How cool was it to have my coach out there? I can't even tell you. I reeled in over 60 people from Mile 17 to the finish--I stopped counting at Mile 20, so that tells you how many there had to be. The best thing was when Rich started telling me with about 2 miles to go that there would be many beers to be had when I was done. I managed to drink 4, and I gotta say, that's one of the best beer buzzes I've ever had.

I got some nice schwag (my bill was just under $500), and I've got my bike packed and in the car since I have to leave around 2:00AM to drive to the Albany airport to catch my plane home. All I have left to do is pack my clothes, score some personal time with Kurt and his wife, and it's all over. But I already have a ton of great stuff to look forward to, cuz you know, I LOVE riding my bikes, so I gotta get back in the saddle ASAP! I'm thinking I'll get a new tri bike next year--I have my eye on the Pinarello Montello. But Bitchie is just fine for now.

I suppose I'm pretty happy--I really can't complain--I didn't have the race I thought I wanted, but truthfully, there was nothing bad about it. I swam as best I could considering the cage match mentality, I biked according to plan, and I had a PR marathon for an Ironman. All good!

In the end, I absolutely fucking LOVE training, and a good race or two are nice, and I guess I've actually had several in 2007, and I'm sure 2008 will be good, too. It was great to reconnect with people I haven't seen in awhile, make new friends, and I'm excited about the new crop of Ironmen that are coming into the sport, as well as my impending coaching operation (if you're interested, let me know).

Thanks to everyone who watched me--you ROCK!

Ironman USA Day 2

Photos: http://www.flickr.com/photos/8737154@N04/sets/72157600927567899/

Pretty good day here. My pimp arrived late last night, and so with all my gear, him and everything all set up, today I was cued up for some workouts. It was pissing this morning, but hey, no big deal if you are going to swim.

Headed down there with Shelley, and met up with Cliff and Darren, and then all but Shelley went for a swim. I did 1.2 miles in a pretty good time for me, considering I was fucking around out there and swam by myself.

After I got out of the swim, it turned into a Crackhead spotting festival. Guys were coming up to me and either saying, "Sheila?" or "Crackhead?" and we'd chat and get some photos. Nice to put faces with names!

I hung around for Rich and Patrick's talk (didn't listen, though), only because I wanted to meet Patrick. I'm like the cobbler's kid--my coach is always talking to everyone but me, it seems. But I got my brief turn, and wow, I got some fake tattoos for my trouble (I already have some really nice ones queued up for race day). Do you detect the sarcasm? It's OK--I'm a little jaded about some of this stuff.

I went back to the ranch finally to get on my bike. I suited up in my brand-spanking-new Ironcamp kit, which I don't believe anyone else has worn yet, and man, it looks great with Bitchie, I think. I may wear it race day--not sure yet. Anyway, it sucks getting the hell out of town here on a bike with all the car traffic, but Shelley and I managed to get away and ride the run course, and that brought back some memories.

Next, I ran while Shelley picked up her sons from some play time. Then we all tried to get lunch. WTF is it with this town??? Places closed for lunch or they only have like 5 tables. We ended up at Tale of the Pup again, which was fine, because we know the menu and it's good. While there, we made up some really classic signs for Shelley's family to make to be put out on the course. I won't say what they are, only that I am pretty sure at least one will make the race video.

Then I downloaded all the pics to hard drive and put them up on Flickr (I'm at McDonald's again, but only drinking Powerade this time), and now I'm ready to go and fix some transition bags back at the ranch.

Dinner with some other trigeeks who may or may not like me--don't really care--people either groove on my personality or not. I could use some more sleep tonight as well--I did pretty well last night, but 2:15 of workouts and I'm a bit tired (and underfed).

More tomorrow...stay tuned!

Ironman USA Day 1 (cont'd) and Beginning of Day 2

The FLICKR folder has been updated: http://www.flickr.com/photos/8737154@N04/sets/72157600902724760/

I'm at McD's, unbelievably, for the second time this trip--today I'm just here because I woke up at my customary 3:30AM (4:30AM here in Lake Placid) and wanted coffee, and saw McD's has WIFI and they open at 5:00AM.

Yesterday I came to McD's because I was so fucking starved from my travel adventure Wednesday night that I got a Sausage McMuffin w/Egg. I needed that!

My pimp arrived about midnight last night and guess what the first thing out of his mouth was? "Does this hotel have wireless?" I about popped him one, but just laughed. He's zonked out snoozing while I'm contributing valuable content to the Internet!

This morning I'm going swimming, and rumor has it I will be hottie spotting. After swimming, I'm going to hopefully get on my bike (it pissed all day yesterday so no workouts) and then run, and then this afternoon is bag day (pack the transition bags). Hopefully, "someone" will be buying me maybe lunch and dinner--I don't really want to go to the carbo thing or athlete meeting.

Whereas yesterday I felt like complete and total crap from hours of travel and lack of sleep, today I feel rarin' to go--although if you ask Shelley, I was pretty wired yesterday from my most excellent caffeine adventure care of Green Mountain Coffee Roasters (a fine customer of the company that I work for).

OK, I am recovered and ready to wreak havoc on this place, at least for today!

Crackhead over and out...watch this space for daily or even more frequent updates!

Ironman USA Day 1

http://flickr.com/photos/8737154@N04/sets/72157600902724760/

Show this Crackhead some Love

Because this place doesn't. Although I submitted a definition of myself there :) It should be published at #29.

Seriously, people, and I know there are a lot of you out there reading this blog. I need some love for my A-race on Sunday, 7/22/2007--Ironman USA Lake Placid. Final list of peeps I know in some capacity also posted above. Love them all on race day!

If you have a blogger account, please comment and show me some love--I've disabled comments moderation, so your love will show up immediately.

If you DO NOT have a blogger account, you can set yourself up so you can comment without really setting up a blog. Head here and then begin the blog creation process, through the point where you have a profile set up. And then just don't create the blog. It's that simple. Then you can comment away.

I still am not allowing Anonymous to comment. He's a dickhead, from what I hear :)

Oh--and please tell me what country you are from.

I need some Blogger love and mojo.

Edit: If you are racing IMLP, read this:

Ironman USA Pre-Race Talk, Friday 7/20 @ 9am next to Tennis Courts by Swim Start
Ironman coaches Patrick McCrann and Rich Strauss of Endurance Nation (http://www.endurancenation.us/) will host a pre-race talk for all Ironman USA athletes at 9am on Friday next to the Tennis Courts by the swim start. Patrick and Rich will discuss the pacing, nutritional, and mental strategies they’ve used to bring over 400 coached athletes across Ironman finish lines. This talk is open to all athletes and will last approximately 45 minutes. Look for two guys in Endurance Nation gear talking to a bunch of athletes.

Weekly Workout Totals 07/09/2007-07/15/2007 and Packing the Bike

Ugh...ugh...oh, God...oh,God...you think that once you aren't training so much you have all this time, but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Let's see--last weekend I did a Wisconsin festival, and the week before I did a Wisconsin festival and the week before was a lot of riding and the week before that was another Wisconsin festival...it's been rather non-stop.

Aaaaanyway, I made it through this week, and I think I'll make it to Lake Placid intact. Here's what I did last week:


Weekly Workout Totals 07/09/2007-07/15/2007
Swim: 16650 yards (9.45 miles) in 5.6 hours; 36% of weekly workout time; approx. 1961 calories burned
Bike: Approx. 97.13 miles in 5.55 hours; 36% of weekly workout time; approx. 2499 calories burned
Run: Approx. 24.14 miles in 3.63 hours; 23% of weekly workout time; approx. 1639 calories burned
Strength: 0.67 hours; 4% of weekly workout time; approx. 168 calories burned
All Sports: Approx. 130.72 miles in 15.45 hours; approx. 6267 calories burned
Sleep: 7.21 hours avg./night
Stretching: 0.5 hours. Massage: 1.5 hours

I know it looks like a lot, but a lot of it was swimming, which has been absolutely GREAT. Not to mention I now have a killer tan.

I got my bike all packed up, and I have a schedule for the coming week, and all I have left to do is pack my checked bag and carry-on and I'm all set. Here's how the bike packing went:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/8737154@N04/sets/72157600840088140/

BCLC Ramble 6/10/2007 Hottie Shot

I just located this photo at the BCLC club site. It's me, hottie Chad (guy I met at IM Brazil last year) and his friggin' ultra hottie friend, Steve. The club dude taking pics pre-ride was enamored of my Bitch (or was it me...he he), and kindly asked if he could shoot us.

While I only rode behind Chad and Steve for a bit (they launched right into intervals), I ended up finishing 105 miles only about 5' after they were done, and I don't think I was quite as shelled.

Steve--if you are out there, get in touch...both of these guys will be racing IMLP, so I'm sure to see them somewhere, right? I tell ya, Steve gets me going...those legs...that smile...you should see the back view...that's all I'm saying.

I created a set on Flickr called "Hottie Brigade," and these guys made it in, and I threw in some others that I was easily able to locate. More hotties will be on the way, so check in there periodically. I am sure there will be lots of hotties located at IMLP next week. Rules for entry are that I think the person (male or female--hey I don't discriminate and can appreciate both sexes, even though I'm straight) is a hottie, and I was present while the photo was taken (whether or not I personally shot the photo). No, you can't submit photos to me. That would make you a loser. But feel free to suggest names of hotties I should meet so I can um...evaluate them!

Crystal Lake, IL 2-mile Swim Race Report

Pics are here, but warning you better put on sunglasses first: http://www.flickr.com/photos/8737154@N04/sets/72157600820769985/

Crystal Lake is one of the most beautiful, cleanest lakes in Illinois, and it's almost on top of the Wisconsin border (it's pretty close to Lake Geneva, which is in Wisconsin). I've done this swim a few times before, and last year I noted that the course was short. Oh well, I just wanted to get in and swim, since I've swam every day this week, and this would be my last open water swim before IMLP. Besides, I thought I'd go in a bit aggro just to get my game on.

I had set my alarm for 4:45, but of course, I woke up at 3:30AM like I have been for the last, oh, 4 weeks or so (good practice for Ironman race day, don't you think?). I had my stuff packed, so I laid in bed scrolling for about an hour, and then I finally got up and had coffee and rattled around.

I took some Voodoo Mix with me for the 50-mile drive, and it dawned as a beautiful day--cool and overcast. Since I've been swimming in the cold-ish pool in the mornings, I'm pretty used to being almost naked in the cooler temperatures, so I just had on my swimsuit with shorts over it. The drive was pretty uneventful, leaving about 5:35AM.

When I was about 10 miles away, I spotted a guy I know, Joel Zucco (father of Adam, for those of you who know him), in a vehicle next to mine. He didn't recognize me (the horror!), so I just stayed close and followed him into Crystal Lake. We've seen each other at a handful of events lately, and he's doing IMLP, too.

After getting my swim cap, I talked to Joel and a few of his male friends, each of whom had some sort of myofascial issue going on, so I'm telling them about trigger point therapy and showing them stretches, all while wearing my stunning (at least *I* think it is) pink suit. I have no self-consciousness or shame about how I look no matter what I'm wearing, so no worries.

I talked to some kids who were doing their first open water swim. They were so excited, and I had fun talking to them (they ended up medaling as well). Then I suited up and got ready to go. I didn't warm up, because why would I? I am not that fast of a swimmer to need a warmup for a 2-mile swim.

The start area was a bit packed, but no worries, it's not like there were 2,500 other athletes there! So when the girl shot the starter gun, I just dove in and started swimming. I wanted to get a decent position and get some happy feet to draft off of if I could, but the start was congested, and people were swimming all over one another, so I opted to go for clear water, but what should happen but a small pack congregates behind ME. OMG! That never happens. There was a lot of feet tickling for the first lap. At the turn buoy to start the second lap, my 5 "friends" are crawling up my ass, and I got a little annoyed and stood upright and shouted, "Get the fuck off me!" They were like a bunch of spawning carp or something. So after maybe 300 yards, I just stopped and let them go ahead of me so I could draft off of them. It was pretty tasty staying with that group, and when we finished, one guy said he heard me at the turn buoy and started laughing.

So I'm done and comparing times and thinking I went :50 and that it clearly wasn't 2 miles (we figured 1.8?), and I go change into my running stuff and come back and decide to stick for awards. I didn't think I'd win anything, but I had to see, so I stayed, and when my AG came up, I heard the 3rd place time, and I was like, crap, I suck, but then they called me for 2nd place with a time of :45 something, and I was astonished! I don't know if I fucked up starting my watch or if their timing was off. Some people who allegedly did 2 miles actually only did 1 (there was a concurrent 1-mile race), and I know some people cut the course because the furthest buoy was kind of at an angle, but they said SEVEN and I counted them off and hit them all.

So I'm pretty happy I had a solid swim, considering I'd already swum almost 14,000 yards through Friday, but I'm pissed the course was short, you know? But then I was asking myself near the end can I keep this pace at IMLP? It will be tough with all the bodies, but I feel like I can put forth a good effort and not get caught with the crappy swimmers.

So all's good--now I'm going to lay my ass (literally) outside in the sun and see if I can eradicate a few more tan lines. Oh yeah--I ran for about 1:20 afterwards, and it felt great. Nice to be done working out on a Saturday by 11:00AM!

Number Sixteen

My coach and others encourage athletes to write and publish a race plan. I have a detailed schedule for next week, and I mean detailed. I am not publishing it here or anywhere, but will send it along to the coach in case he sees anything awry on there. I won't write up my fueling plan; I've done this 8 times before and know what works.

Basically, here's my race plan:

I will swim like I know how (steady, good form).

I will bike according to my power guidance, which will be taped to my stem.

I will run with joy and wonder and pure pleasure.

There's my race plan.

What's more important to me is my mental state on race day. Last year at Ironman Brazil, my mental state was dictated by extreme grief over the death of my mother--that took care of the mental piece--and my physical state was dictated by extreme sickness. That is not how I like to feel in an Ironman race!

Number Sixteen of the Tao te Ching below pretty much captures the mental state I cultivate in training and in racing an Ironman; beyond that, things like pacing and nutrition are able to run on autopilot (to me that's the easy stuff), and this mental state is precisely why I do Ironman--nothing more, nothing less:

NUMBER SIXTEEN

Empty yourself of everything.

Let the mind rest at peace.

The ten thousand things rise and fall while the Self watches their return.

They grow and flourish and then return to the source.

Returning to the source is stillness, which is the way of nature.

The way of nature is unchanging.

Knowing constancy is insight.

Not knowing constancy leads to disaster.

Knowing constancy, the mind is open.

With an open mind, you will be openhearted.

Being openhearted, you will act royally.

Being royal, you will attain the divine.

Being divine, you will be at one with the Tao.

Being at one with the Tao is eternal.

And though the body dies, the Tao will never pass away.

Number Sixty Four of the Tao Te Ching

...in honor of those tapering for IMLP

SIXTY-FOUR

Peace is easily maintained;
Trouble is easily overcome before it starts.
The brittle is easily shattered;
The small is easily scattered.

Deal with it before it happens.
Set things in order before there is confusion.

A tree as great as a man's embrace springs from a small shoot;
A terrace nine stories high begins with a pile of earth;
A journey of a thousand miles starts under one's feet.

He who acts defeats his own purpose;
He who grasps loses.
The sage does not act, and so is not defeated.
He does not grasp and therefore does not lose.

People usually fail when they are on the verge of success.
So give as much care to the end as to the beginning;
Then there will be no failure.

Therefore the sage seeks freedom from desire.
He does not collect precious things.
He learns not to hold on to ideas.
He brings men back to what they have lost.
He helps the ten thousand things find their own nature,
But refrains from action.

Namaste!

Peeps Racing Ironman USA Lake Placid

Every year my list of who I know or that someone I know knows that is racing at an Ironman grows, and that is a wonderful thing.

I've been compiling a super-duper, of all things, spreadsheet, of all IMUSA participants, and have tagged those I can based on how/where I/others know them.

For those of you who don't know, I participate in several online communities: Crucible Fitness forum, Slowtwitch forum, Trifuel forum (and I've published a few things there), and the TRI-DRS LISTSERV (sporadically). I know or feel like I know some bloggers (apologies that I write more on my own blog than I spend time reading others'). I also just know local people and am on email distribution lists for a few tri clubs. The world truly is small!

As an example, yesterday while I'm about 7 miles into my ride, I'm at a stoplight and a guy in a car from the cross direction yells at me, "Keep that Bitch rolling." I'm thinking what the fuck, how does some stranger know my bike's name? So I yell back, "Yeah, that's my bike's name, how did you know?" And then he removes his sunglasses, and it's a guy I know and have trained with. I am sure this little incident fucked with people's heads, especially since I was hardly wearing any clothes (swimsuit bottom and teensy-weensy bra top).

I don't claim to personally know everyone on Slowtwitch or TRI-DRS that is doing the race, but in the picture (click for full size) is a list of folks (so far) that I know that are racing, so for those of you who are watching, remember, these are all really important people that deserve your good vibes on race day. So far, I have the HIGHEST bib number!

Some are first-timers, and then there's idiots like me (and yes, when I registered, I listed "Idiot" as my occupation) who are on #9. How did that happen?

I'm still feeling wonderful!

2488

2488

I wasn't too far off the mark with my guess of 2605, now was I?

What's special about 2488? http://www.tascam.com/Products/2488.html Good thing it's a geek-ish toy.

2, 4, and 8 are all powers of 2. 2*2=4, 4*2=8, 8+8=16 which would be the next power of 2.

Now I can REALLY not sleep...

Where's my Fucking Number????

NA Sports or whatever the hell they're called sent an email a few days ago saying that bib numbers would be posted TODAY for IMLP, and guess what? They fucking lied. So what am I supposed to do when I'm expecting a number and don't get one? Let's see...I'll make up a number. Let's play number lottery. My guess for my number is 2605. OH....MY....GAWD...I hope it's not that high. How many athletes can they cram into the water???

On the plus side, I made a Target (or Tar-zhay, as we like to call it) run today and picked up some ACTUAL CLOTHES (i.e., not swimwear, biking or running clothes) to take with me to Lake Placid. I found 2 BARBIE shirts!!!!! And I got a top for some PJ bottoms in the LITTLE GIRLS section, size 10. What the fuck is up with that??? I guess I *am* small. Oh and a pair of white kick-ass low as hell jeans, size 2. And they aren't even tight. Here I thought you could only get scandalous whore pants in Brazil, but now I have white ones from good, old Target. So I'm only wearing scandalous clothing in Lake Placid. I gots the tan and the figure to do it now, so why not? Besides, I'll have my pimp with me. Something tells me I'll be participating in the UPR...do you think they'd let me wear a thong?

I WANT MY FUCKING NUMBER.

Free Webinar for Ironman USA Lake Placid Participants

I'm feeling great, and very fit. A lot of credit for it goes to my coach, Rich.

Any of you readers who are racing--this is a golden *FREE* opportunity, which I suggest you take advantage of. Rich is my coach, and Patrick has raced IMLP numerous times. Please follow instructions below.

FREE Webinar: Racing Ironman USA , Thursday, July 12, 7:30pm EST

Presented by Rich Strauss and Patrick McCrann of Crucible Fitness, Performance Training Systems, and IronCamp.

Ironman coaches Patrick McCrann and Rich Strauss will host a FREE webinar for all Ironman USA athletes. Patrick and Rich will discuss the pacing, nutritional, and mental strategies they’ve used to bring over 400 coached athletes across Ironman finish lines. Athletes interested should visit this URL to register. You will be sent instructions for how to attend the webinar. During the session you will see the coaches' desktops as they deliver their presentation to you live via your phone line. Rich and Patrick will answer questions afterwards, submitted by the audience via webchat. The webinar will be made available as a podcast afterwards for all those who can not attend.

The webinar will cover the specifics of racing the challenging Lake Placid course including a blow-by-blow of the bike course presented by Patrick using GoogleMaps. However, the majority of the talk is applicable to all Iron distance races and will be a valuable resource for all Ironman athletes.

The Coaches
Patrick McCrann has been a long-distance triathlon coach for over five years, and recently published his first book: "Competitive Triathlon in 10 Hours A Week." Patrick has raced IM USA four times, will race next weekend, and with more than 40 laps under his belt could probably ride the course in his sleep.

Rich Strauss has been coaching Ironman athletes exclusively since 2001. He has delivered his pre-race talk at seven Ironman races, most recently at IMCDA ’07, where over sixty competitors gathered to hear his talk.

Between them, Rich and Patrick have eleven years of Ironman coaching, fifteen successful Ironman finishes, over 400 successful Ironman finishers, and thousands of hours teaching age-group athletes how to race a successful Ironman.

Weekly Workout Totals 07/02/2007-07/08/2007

But first, some pics. The first is of a Crucible Fitness bomb that went off in my living room today (more on that later). You can also see remnants of my 80's record-spinning incident from last week. The second is things I have received from several friends lately--the garden gnome is from Brett, the wood and tiny bike (now sporting a Crucible Fitness logo as well as skeleton man who has been training as much as me lately--yeah I know his seat is too high) are from my friend William in Texas (the wood is a good luck charm--touch wood), the books are from Cindy, and the Fuel Belt hat and cell phone holder are from Rich. I'm very fortunate to have so many people who are so good to me.

Talk about your steep taper...get a load of this:

Weekly Workout Totals 07/02/2007-07/08/2007
Swim: 12615 yards (7.16 miles) in 4.4 hours; 21% of weekly workout time; approx. 1540 calories burned
Bike: Approx. 196.62 miles in 10.97 hours; 53% of weekly workout time; approx. 5009 calories burned
Run: Approx. 29 miles in 4.51 hours; 22% of weekly workout time; approx. 2032 calories burned
Strength: 0.77 hours; 4% of weekly workout time; approx. 193 calories burned
All Sports: Approx. 232.78 miles in 20.65 hours; approx. 8774 calories burned
Sleep: 6.71 hours avg./night
Stretching: 1.2 hours. Massage: 0 hours

Funny thing is, I had planned on swimming 16,000 yards...oh well. Not much sleep, not much stretching, no massage, but I survived, and now I am having trouble sitting still. So I've got clearance to swim every day this week, and as long as it's nice weather, it will be at the outdoor pool, where, believe it or not, Rich actually swam today. He alluded to wanting to do it yesterday while we were driving home from Madison, but I figured I wouldn't hold it to him until about :45 before we'd need to leave this morning. First I got the "I don't have goggles" deflection. That was pretty weak. I have a bag full of different varieties, so I came to the rescue and he found a pair that fit. I grabbed towels and fluids, and we were off. I had to share a lane with crazy breaststroke lady and some other not-so-good swimmers, but since it was already pretty hot by 8AM, the pool felt really great (and they don't charge the early swimmers!).

After swimming, we got the identical breakfast (Denver omelettes, English muffins, coffee), then we packed and labeled a bunch of Crucible Fitness gear to be sent to athletes all over the place. Rich thought he was missing a shipment, and at the same time I was dealing with the company who had cleaned my drapes and installed new shades. He on the cell phone not too happy with a company, and me on my house phone not too happy with another one. Both incidents turned out well, though, since Rich discovered he wasn't actually missing inventory, and my company made good on coming out to reclean the cornices that became fingerprinted while the shades were being installed.

I know you think this is a load of crap that I'm talking about right now, but hey, I'm tapering, so fuck off. Oops--I meant, please don't get on my case. Or maybe I meant please be understanding, as I'm a veritable lunatic right now and I'm not responsible for my actions or vocalizations. Or maybe I meant gee, I wish you could be nicer to me, since I'm experiencing a tiny bit of stress right now. Somehow fuck off is just easier to say.

Anyway, I've just jumped off the training peak and am cascading down into the valley of the taper, and crazy things happen while I'm falling, only to hit rock bottom and then begin the precipitous climb back to the top of the other side. It's been really fun being on top of the mountain for the past 12 weeks, and soon enough I'll begin my journey back to the top. I know that along the way I'll see many friends, training partners and other sources of encouragement. Will I make it? I hope so. Will I climb fast? We will see what the day brings. How will I feel back at the top? REALLY HAPPY!

End of Camp; Beginning of Taper

Wow. Rich and I are finally done with the camp, and are back at my house having a little quiet time. I mean I actually shushed him for a moment of silence, since he's been talking non-stop for 3 days, and then driving back in traffic, we were talking non-stop.

Pictures from camp are here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/8737154@N04/sets/72157600722611427/

The run clinic happened this morning at Olin Turville Park (same place where we started our ride yesterday), and Rich kept it short and sweet, since it was already pretty hot by 6AM. I only got yelled at twice to do stuff, and it was to help demonstrate some drills, and then I sat on the sidelines taking pictures. Then we drove to Monona Terrace and ran on the Ironman course as best we could, meaning trying not to get lost! I ran out for :45 with a bunch of folks, and most of them were running longer than me (silly me tapering and all), so I just flipped it and headed back. I ran into another woman, JoEllen, who had started a few minutes late, and we ran to the Octopus gas station where I bought some Coke and water. We then took off running, me with Coke in one hand and water in the other, and I kept dousing myself with the water to cool off, while sipping on Coke which perked me up.

After we got back to Monona Terrace, I knew JoEllen was short on her projected 1:30 run time, so I invited her to do "terrace repeats" with me, whereby we ran up one ramp, across the top and down another. We only did 2 repeats (I wanted to do more), but that was fine. I located Rich, who had used my car to place water out on the run course, but who then was riding around on someone's bike looking at us. I managed to avoid being yelled at or told something else that I might be doing wrong by Rich.

After the run, it was obtain food, get back to hotel, pack the car and head back into the classroom for 3 more hours of Rich spouting all sorts of knowledge about this and that, where I took a few more pictures to help him remember what the hell he talked about, and then we got in the car for a looooong drive home. Lots of folks took the entire week of vacation, so Madison being so close to the Wisconsin Dells creates a lot of traffic going back into Illinois on a Sunday afternoon.

I took Rich to Dell Rhea's Chicken Basket for dinner, where, unbelievably, Rich was UNABLE TO FINISH AN ENTIRE CHICKEN DINNER. I mean what's up with that??? The man can eat, I know. Oh yeah--he didn't run today.

And on that note, I am done doing ANYTHING for the day. I've unpacked, and now it's time to try and relax and figure out what the hell I'm supposed to do for the next 1.5 weeks before I head off to Lake Placid. I have already begun my traditional staring at the ceiling while laying in bed for the last few nights, and now I can add becoming paranoid about how much food I'm eating as compared to how little training I'm doing, getting royally bored at work, wanting to chew someone's head off for some slight transgression, and then falling into hysterical laughter changing over into tears at the drop of a hat.

Ah, tapering--I can't wait to be over with you and onto a race which I've trained long and hard for. Nobody gets sick and nobody dies, and I should be good to go!