- I want to sleep 9-10 hours a night
- I feel like the most incredibly boring person on the planet, because even though I have extra leisure time, I don't really want to "do" anything. I don't feel bored myself; I just don't want to foist myself on someone else because I think I will have nothing to talk about.
- I almost want to just stop exercising completely, questioning why I do all this shit
- I will have several workouts where my legs feel like absolute concrete
- A short workout will feel like an eternity
- I get to thinking how was I able to train as much as I had been before I tapered?
- 8 hours of work feels like 12 and is boring as all hell
- I want to totally withdraw and not jinx myself by talking about how great I feel once that feeling starts to emerge and I begin to get excited about the race
So that's one reason why I haven't posted anything lately. The other reason is that I know all these people doing IMFL and don't feel justified in raining on their parades. Many of these people are first-timers, and I also have to bite my tongue because there's so much I would like to say to them, but then again, I figure there is only so much you can take your first time out. From those making ridiculous time goals to those planning on eating the entire Old Country Buffet while they are riding. Some things about Ironman you just have to find out on your own. Then there are those that are just going for a bike split. Or to "have fun." Or because they want a tattoo that says they did it. Whatever floats your boat.
Like I am one to talk anyway. It's been TWO YEARS since I've had a good Ironman race. Let me tell you that sucks. But I am patient. I know I train properly, I know I am strong, I DO have good races in either single sport or triathlons every year, so there is a trend of improvement. But I still do not want a tattoo (I am as likely to get a tattoo stating where I work as I am of one that stands for a company that happens to run Ironman races), I am still committing to this season's races, and I finally understand people who have done this for many years but not qualified for IMHI. I think if I keep doing this eventually I could, but hey, I'd rather do it in a fast fashion with some decent competition, you know? And there's still plenty of that until I turn 60. TEN MORE YEARS. Now THAT sounds like a death sentence of sorts. I better get a laywer!
I'm starting to think that my next career may be as a massage therapist rather than a coach. Why? Because I truly enjoy studying the human body. Who knows?
I hurt my back, freaked out, but it's better. I don't even remember that it was hurt. I have barely worked out this week. My run legs felt like total concrete on Tuesday and Wednesday. A 1 hour bike ride on Tuesday felt like torture--funny how 3 hours last Saturday didn't phase me! When I swam Monday and Wednesday, I came close to convincing myself that it wasn't worth it. I guess the reason I'm writing something NOW is so that I can remember the next time that this stuff is pretty normal for me. At least I don't totally freak out about it anymore. Then again, the last actual taper I had was before IM Brazil, and my mom had just died and that was not a normal experience for me. So perhaps I am just happy that there isn't a ton of sadness accompanying this taper. As I told my friend Matt who is deployed in Afghanistan right now, sometimes an uneventful day (as he described his) is the best thing on Earth.
One of the things I'm trying to do mentally is to be OK with a lack of excitement, which is typically what a taper is for me. It's cold here, and I'm content to sleep a lot, eat less, read books and generally lay about. It's not exciting by any means, but I am OK with it. In a way, I'm looking at what I've set out to do in the next 9 months with a healthy bit of trepidation. Did I over-commit? Will I continue to enjoy the hard training? Stay tuned, we shall see.
Yesterday I did a measly 1 hour ride with some hard stuff thrown in. When I did the same ride on Tuesday, it was a bit more torturous. When I did it yesterday, go figure, I actually LENGTHENED the hard interval time. I rationalized that how much harm could I do in a stupid 1-hour workout? And then I had to run. When I ran off the bike on Tuesday, my legs felt like concrete wrapped in mud. The run was a POSITIVE split, start out at race pace and then go easy on the back end. It didn't feel too good. So yesterday, I wasn't looking forward to the run, because Tuesday's brick run hadn't felt good (although I kept pace as per the instructions), and then Wednesday I did a shortie 40-minute tempo run (is 40 minutes actually a workout???), and again my legs didn't have their usual zing, despite the shortness of the workout.
Yesterday, on the way to the Y (it's cold out, I'm a wimp, and I don't have a treadmill in my house, but I should get one, but the Y is only 3 minute drive from home so there), I thought that maybe I should run on the track. There weren't a lot of kids down there playing hoops (the track circles around basketball courts), so I figured the track would be a nice change of pace. Almost like running outdoors.
I began running, and yes, even though I only rode for an hour, it did feel like a brick workout. Like I was on the back end of a sprint triathlon. But I was supposed to go at "race pace," meaning my 1/2 Ironman race pace, which should have been just shy of 9mpm. I honestly felt like I was running about that, as my breathing was fine, sure my legs felt jello-like, but I'm used to that. This track is 12 laps to the mile, so as I neared the first 12, I kept going back and forth:
Look at my watch? No, just do 2 miles and then look.
Look at my watch? Sure might as well see if my pace feels like what it actually is
Look at my watch? I might be disappointed and there is no sense in doing that to myself.
Look at my watch? I probably should since I AM supposed to slow down after maybe 15 minutes.
Which choice won out? LOOK AT MY WATCH. Boy, was I surprised! 8 something less than 30 seconds. So now I'm thinking, OK, let's hold that pace, and that's what I tried to do, and then I figured, hey I can't hurt myself today, so I'll just keep going and run 3 miles and call it a day. I didn't know what my actual splits were until I got home, but I was smiling ear to ear on my way back.
Turns out I did 8:21, 8:11, 8:16, or average 8:16 pace, no stopping, no drinking, just running. And to boot, I didn't feel like I was at "puking speed," which is what 5K pace should be. I started thinking I should run a 5K this weekend. Then I thought, no I have this actual race next week. I almost wrote a blog post last night because I was so tickled, but then I didn't want to jinx myself by acting all puffed up. I mean, come on, I am still SLOW.
This morning I had to do a 1000 yard swim TT. When I did it last week, I totally, absolutely sucked, but I figured I would based on how I had been swimming. It went better today, plus I wore the wetsuit. Some yutz HAD to get in the lane with me when I was almost finished and kick to the point where I swallowed some water (thanks, Craig!), but I persevered. Well I swam much faster than last week. Go figure! And then I come home and I am dag-blasted tired! What is up with that? I mean, come on I swam a total of 2200 yards this morning, how can I be tired?
Such is life during taper. It's a good exercise in patience, going with the flow, and trying hard not to question things but just to be. I seem to be getting better at it. Hopefully, all the tiredness will leave my body this week and I'll start to get excited about actually racing next week. Thing is, I am not at all excited right now. I am just flat out tired. I think maybe I've been training pretty hard. I have yet to wake up and feel all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, but I think it's coming. And then, Disney already sent me my race number for Goofy Challenge! Crap, I am not even done with this 1/2 Ironman and I will be doing a freaking marathon in 2 months! I guess I will need to recover quickly from the 1/2, huh?
See this is why I am loathe to skip workouts normally. I have this fear that if I miss one, then it will get easier to miss the next one, and so on. But I always remember that there are tapers where it's OK to miss the workout (but I don't), and it's EXPECTED to feel like crap (and I do). This year I took a full week off after IM Brazil because I was so sick, and then I took another almost full week off in early September after I got sick of riding my bike, and I already had the flu this year, so I think I've had some real rest. I dunno. I am rambling on and on.
I just want to have a good race next week. But it might be very warm and I am not heat acclimated. But I get to run through a zoo! But the most important thing is that I have a cool race outfit to wear. And no matter what happens, there will be dancing afterwards in downtown Miami. Look out, I'm a 50-year old floozy!
Good luck to all those racing IMFL tomorrow. I'll be doing a stinking 1.5 hour workout. Oh boy! Would I rather be doing an Ironman? Maybe. I can say one thing about Ironman racing. It is tough to be bored!
