Rolling with the Punches

I know that in the big scheme of things that I have very few life issues to deal with. I am not married and don't have that sort of relationship to maintain. I don't have children and all the responsibility they entail. So when I experience my own life stress, I tend to downplay how much it is affecting me, because I think that I should be able to "deal," given my generally easy life.

Now this is not to say that I don't have good coping mechanisms--I believe I do, and I cultivate resiliency on a daily basis. It's funny that exercise is spoken of as a stress reliever--but when you do as much as I do (and as much as many of you who read this blog do), there comes a point when the exercise has to go.

If you were here reading about a year ago, you saw me continue to train like crazy even while my mom was hospitalized and her condition worsened. Even the week of her death, I managed to bang out my heaviest training week in preparation for Ironman Brazil. On the plus side, though, I didn't work that entire week, so there was a sort of balancing act going on. I can usually handle life stress plus exercise; life stress plus work stress plus lots of exercise not so much.

And so that is what happened to me this week (and it gets even better--keep reading!). I got a new boss a week ago Friday. That was to the good. Then the almost old boss gets on my case about why am I working so many hours, as if to tell me that I shouldn't want to create a quality product (since nobody else was putting in the hours). Well (language) fuck me in the ass for wanting to do a good job. Then she (the almost ex-boss) instructs a coworker of mine to do the dirty work for her (who is also too clueless to understand what I am doing) by chewing me out in front of another colleague. This went down on Thursday.

I already hadn't been getting adequate sleep for 2-3 weeks. This past Tuesday, I got on my bike, and after about 1/2 hour, decided it just wasn't going to happen. On Wednesday, I skipped 2 workouts and decided that as long as I was going down, I may as well go down in style, so I had a few too many beers (3) and ate a bunch of chips as part of my dinner. This is not something I normally do, but I figured as long as I was temporarily a workaholic and skipping workouts that I may as well see how the other half lives. I do not like it!

Later in the day on Thursday, I had a talk with my new boss, and we agreed that if I was at a good stopping point for the week that I didn't need to work on Friday! Yippee. That is something the soon-to-be-ex-boss would never have done. So I looked forward to yesterday.

The day started out promising enough. I had a great swim, in cool, clean water (a direct result of the chat I had with the Aquatic Director on Tuesday). I went to Starbucks and bought 2.5 pounds of great beans with a gift card I got for Christmas. I contacted a few friends. I ordered FOUR more Splish swimsuits--I wrote in my order comments that I am addicted to their product. I ordered a new battery for my cellphone (I get a discount through work, which is nice). I did a little housecleaning. I guess I was catching up for my last 3 weeks gone badly.

I decided to get in a :30 run, since I had skipped Wednesday's track workout, and I was going to run outdoors. I had to call a customer at 2PM, and that call lasted longer than I had wanted it to (and I hadn't yet eaten lunch), but I controlled the situation (unhappy customer, part of my job), and we ended up on a good note. I checked my email, and I had received something about this project I'm working on from someone who, frankly, is a bit of a loose cannon at times. I wrote very detailed specifications about file manipulations, and there was extra data on a transaction record, and I had told him about it. From the tone of the email (which as you all know, you cannot read into, but it's natural to do it anyway), he was telling me I had written poor instructions. Rather than continue on in accusatory email, I picked up the phone and called him. We straightened things out, I think, but I still have concerns that he just goes off and does stuff when it's not necessary.

So now it's 3:30 and I still haven't eaten lunch and I go to run outdoors, because it's about 30 degrees, and I haven't run outside in awhile. I can tell that I am still stressed out, because of how the run feels to me, and my first mile was slower than I expected. But that's OK, I was just running for frequency. About 1.75 or so miles out, I turn around to head home, and thankfully the winter wind is now at my back. I'm at the 1 mile from home mark and out of the corner of my right eye I see 2 young boys (8-10 years old) walking 2 small dogs on the sidewalk (I'm on the road). No big deal, right? Nope. One of the dogs gets angry, the kid loses the leash, and the thing runs up and tries to grab my hand to bite. So I let loose of my glove (my hand is more important) and the thing bites me in the leg, all the while I am screaming at the kid to get the dog under control. It was an old beagle. I ask the kid for his phone number (because I am not going to chase him home with that angry dog), and he lies to me (as the police later verified), and I run home, loaded with adrenaline coursing through my body. I at least drank some Endurox R4, called the police to file a police report, and then I had to go to the ER to get a tetanus shot and antibiotics. I have not eaten since 10AM at this point, so I took a bar and a bottle of water with me so I didn't pass out from hypoglycemia. I was there 3 hours, so the rest of my "restful" day was not so much. On my way to the ER, I parked and walked a bit near where I was bit, and I think I know where the dog lives. Trust me, I will figure it out, and Nick, the nice policeman, said to give him a call if I can identify the house where the dog lives. I'm out $50 for the ER visit and another probably $25 for the drugs. I am also going to tell them to pay for my $80 running tights which are now ruined.

And then this morning my neighbor wakes me up at 3AM with the stereo blaring, which is why I'm now awake and writing, as once I woke up, my brain just started replaying all the events of the week. I figure I'll somehow make it through some level of workouts today, and then pass out and be raring to go for my race tomorrow. My left arm hurts where the nurse gave me the tetanus shot (I declined on having it in my ass because I am on my bike today), my right leg hurts where I was bit by the dog, I did not get any sleep last night, I am probably behind on my nutrition for the day, and I have a 2:30 workout to do and groceries to buy.

But wait, there's more--this afternoon we are under a winter storm watch, so I am crossing my fingers that it's not so bad early tomorrow when I'm driving to my race.

On the plus side, I am getting a lot of life crap over with in a few weeks. At the end of the day, I am still very happy about my new boss--he's a straight up guy (ex-Navy), and I already feel like I can say anything to him. And he's a CHUCK NORRIS fan! What's not to like about that? And I know that I am going to get back on my sleeping and nutrition.

I know that I am a person that is challenging to manage and relate to--I have exceedingly high expectations not only of myself but of others--but I also deliver, and I deliver well, and I deliver quickly and honestly. But more and more, I am coming to the conclusion that in business and in many areas of life, what the people want is mediocrity. I am not that. I will not be that, I will not become that, I will not stoop to the level of not having goals, not wanting to make a contribution, not becoming as knowledgeable as I can about things that matter to me and the rest of the world, not wanting to stand out and shine, not wanting to excel, not wanting to be my very best as often as possible. I will not be the person who learns nothing, knows nothing, says nothing, does nothing, acts randomly, cultivates excuses and coasts through life. Others may not like me for demanding so much of them, but in the end they like themselves better because of it. Why? Because that's how we become better people. By seeking new challenges and rising up to meet them. I cherish and will defend to the death friends and relationships (business and personal) that challenge me in ways that force me to learn and grow; otherwise, I mentally toss them aside as mere chaff. Harsh, you may say, but nobody ever became great by submersing themselves in mediocrity. When I find myself surrounded by mediocrity and piss-poor standards, I make my own challenges and raise the bar. Some would accuse me of being a troublemaker or malcontent. Fine. Keep living in your vacuum of consciousness and world of inertia. Not me. Not today. Not ever.

This One's for Momo

I can't believe I hadn't found Momo before. But now I have. Thank you, Momo, and others for being real people.

Those girls to the left? Them's be part of my bitchin' collection of Barbie dolls. I have others--the current count is 16. I got one at Ironman Brazil last year that's wearing FMP's. I have Cali Girl that I refer to as "Whore Barbie" (well, really all of them are stinking whores, who am I kidding?), because when my mom bought it for me, she told me she asked the store if they had "CALL GIRL Barbie." I have the first Barbie doll I got when they were first made, and she's wearing a hula outfit right now.

These girls do NOT exercise. And yet they have hourglass figures and are beautiful and have a nice complexion. BITCHES!

I'd like a Triathlon Barbie. I could make her outfit except that my vision is so wacky now that forget it trying to sew minute little things out of spandex. Damn, though, if I DID have triathlon Barbie (TB), then I would be firing up a whole NEW collection of gadgets for her. Like my own obsession isn't enough.

Triathlon Barbie gets her first tri bike.

Triathlon Barbie gets a power meter.

Triathlon Barbie gets race wheels.

Triathlon Barbie gets a coach.....

Then I'd have to start another blog about TB's training exploits. I can tell you that I, as her coach (who else would coach her? Oh wait, she has a huge rack I guess they'd be lining up) would make her do harder workouts than I do, and then I'd get to watch her boobs disappear because her bodyfat got so low and she'd stop wearing makeup (too time-consuming) and perfume (hard to hide that chlorine smell). Every other day I would yell at her, "Hey you stupid bitch, get on that bike right now and give me 5 FT intervals." And she'd be all like, "My legs don't bend so well I'm having trouble on the bike," and I'd be all, "Too bad, bitch, saddle up and make the best of it."

If I had TB, then I suppose I'd have to get Triathlon Ken (it is ironic that my ex-husband's name is Ken). But TK would get all wigged out because TB was getting so fast on the bike and even letting him draft occasionally in training (again, ironic, because my ex-husband was insecure because I am so much smarter than him and he told me so--not that he was a dumbass, he wasn't, but still he claimed I "intimidated" him. And I helped him with his master's Computer Science project which he couldn't figure out on his own). And TK would be all like, "Hey, TB, I'm not getting enough lovin' because you are so competitive and always training and tired from training." And then TB would have to boot TK's sorry ass. Sorry guys, I'm not saying you are all like that. But I KNOW that Triathlon Ken probably is :)

I guess it's a good thing that Triathlon Barbie doesn't exist. I really did try to write to Mattell to tell them to make one, but you aren't allowed to do that on the Internet. They could make a small fortune off of Triathlon Barbie and all her gear. Maybe I should write Graham Fraser and ask him to team up with Mattell for Ironman Barbie. They could sell her when you register on Active.com. That's a no-brainer. Even guys would buy her, or better yet, offer Ironman Ken for the guys (ironically he is built nearly anatomically correct for a male triathlete). I'd strap Ironman Barbie onto my X-Lab on the bike and make her suffer while I'm putting out wattage.

Thanks, Momo. You inspired me.

Dear Anonymous

I changed my Comments settings to disallow anonymous comments.

So whoever the anonymous folks are trolling around looking to post their little angry judgmental anonymous comments, "TA TA."

If you're not big enough to say who you are, then I don't care. I don't comment anonymously on your (invisible?) blog, so you don't get to do so on mine. If this gets you all fired up and you get a userid and still flame away, great, but no identity, no tickie. I'll be sending Chuck Norris after you. And trust me, he KNOWS who you are, even if I don't.

I didn't ask you to come here, so from now on, you don't like what you see or read, you can stew in your own juices, talk about me on some private website or whatever it is you do.

And oh, yeah, I have grown up and I DO, in fact, have a sense of humor, so sometimes I might post something a little risque or non-PC (according to your standards). But you know what? I accept whatever comments come my way, even the "get a life" ones, as long as the person is upstanding and willing to say who they are. Because all perspectives are welcome.

To all of you brave enough to have an identity (talk about an oxymoron) and tell me what you think, whether it's "you're inspiring" or "you're an ass" or whatever, that's what I'm here for.

Weekly Workout Totals 2/11/2007-2/17/2007 and Chuck Norris Helped Me Out Today

Have you seen the new Chuck Norris commercial for Mountain Dew? Go here and click on the link for Chuck. This is like combining two of my favorite things--Chuck Norris and Mountain Dew (well really Code Red, but I'll let that one slide).

So I'm at the Y today. I watched some sort of ski racing, where 2 guys would downhill together in a 1 on 1 race, then some pretty extreme snowboarding. At some point, the Chuck Norris commercial came on, and I had to even move my headphones to the TV set to listen to it. I like many of the Mountain Dew commercials--they are just so catchy and chock full of action. 1 hour into my 1:40 run (after a 1-hour swim) I needed to go to the bathroom. On my way there, I decide to ask two of the trainers there (one of whom I'm friends with) if they've seen this commercial. No they haven't, but one guy (the one I don't know well) and I exchange "Chuck Norris-isms" and have some good laughs.

I head to the ladies' room and I am just getting out of the stall when in rushes this woman who I notice has 2 bloody hands. I asked her what happened, and she said something about a basketball hitting her, and I could see she was bleeding profusely, and I just happened to have a sweat towel in my hand (I had picked up a fresh one to use once I got back on the gerbil wheel) and I told her to give me the hand that was hit. Here she was trying to wash off blood that wasn't going to stop coming. I compressed the towel around her hand and held it in the air and told her to try and relax that we would go get some help. On the way out, I told her that she wasn't to do anything but keep her focus and stay with me. I opened doors and knew what to do. I marched her back into the cardio room and told the people at the desk that she needs medical attention. I knew she needed constant compression on the hand (her pinkie finger, actually) to stanch the bleeding, and I thought she would probably need stitches. She was really frazzled, but we got her in a chair with her arm raised, someone called her husband, and once I knew things were under control, I returned to the treadmill for my last :40.

So if I hadn't seen the Chuck Norris commercial, I wouldn't have stopped by the trainer desk on my way to the bathroom and wasted about 3 minutes, and then I wouldn't have run into this woman who was bleeding like a faucet, and gosh, she might have passed out on the floor of the bathroom or hit her head on her way down or something! So hats off to Chuck Norris--he really does control everything.

This week in training was interesting trying to recover from last weekend's festival, and I continued to put in a lot of hours at work which caused me to sleep less, and you know what happens with that combination--my bike workouts were for shit, but I still swam and ran well, including another track workout on Wednesday (it seems I am running on a track a lot lately!), and today's suffer fest running after a swim, preceded by yesterday's, OF COURSE, fucking monstrous bike workout with a brick run afterwards.

Yes, there were days this week, actually every day, when I thought how the hell am I going to work out, but I know that I would feel worse if I didn't in terms of stress control, so I did everything I was supposed to. My workload eases up this week, thankfully, since I have another race in a week! And yes, I stalked the woman who beat me 2 weeks ago. My nemesis is in a wave after me this time, but that doesn't matter, I have to go harder than 2 weeks ago! Turns out we were pretty equally matched on the bike and the run, but she's clearly a better swimmer, and I might not be able to top that unless I really give it hell on the bike (since you are scored by total distance covered). On the plus side, in years past when I've done these races, I didn't hit my stride until the 3rd or 4th one, but I'm already doing better on the first time out, so maybe I can beat her. If not, well then, I just suck donkey balls. I did stalk my nemesis totally--turns out she's a "sprint" racer is all. Sure, I feel good knowing that I can haul ass in a short race, too, given that I train for the long shit, but I still want to be fast and place whenever I race. That's just me. Give me something to be competitive about, and I'm all over it.

Speaking of which, on Friday, we had a meeting at work in the late morning and there was a management shakeup. I think it's for the good for me, though, as I know someone who works for my soon-to-be manager, and the new guy is an ex-Marine, just like my fabulous, hottie coach, and I get along well with people like that, because I'm a no-small-talk, let's get it done sort of person (gee, could you tell from reading this blog?). But of course, when you switch managers you need to prove yourself all over again, and again, I think I'm in a good spot being the mastermind behind the current project I'm working on so that's cool.

Oh and we got a good dumping of snow here in Chicagoland this week, so I got in extra strength sessions shoveling snow. It's all good.

All I need to do now is get back on my sleep. I feel poised for some good--no, GREAT--bike workouts this week, and intend to hit the next indoor triathlon with all pistons firing.

As an FYI, if you went looking for a post that disappeared, well, sorry about that. I posted some pictures of myself that one person found offensive (I am not sure why--it's not like I'm disgusting, or if I am, someone PLEASE TELL ME), and then I thought about it and thought hmmmm...maybe I shouldn't leave those up for the world to see. But trust me, they are GOOD pictures, and I am not ashamed in the least, but then again I don't need pervs downloading pics of me to do whatever they like to do. Oh well, I am not doing this to become (in)famous!

Here are the happy totals for the week that was:


Weekly Totals 02/12/2007-02/18/2007
Swim: 7300 yards (4.14 miles) in 2.62 hours; 18% of weekly workout time; approx. 917 calories burned
Bike: Approx. 84.88 miles in 4.85 hours; 33% of weekly workout time; approx. 2321 calories burned
Run: Approx. 25.3 miles in 4 hours; 27% of weekly workout time; approx. 1820 calories burned
Strength: 3.37 hours; 23% of weekly workout time; approx. 843 calories burned
All Sports: Approx. 114.32 miles in 14.84 hours; approx. 5901 calories burned
Sleep: 7.93 hours avg./night
Stretching: 2.63 hours. Massage: 1.5 hours