I like to call my brick workouts BRICK-O-RAMA. Makes it sound festive.
This was the same workout as last Friday: Bike 2 hours on the trainer, as 45' warmup, 15' HIM watts, 2' cd, 15' HIM watts, 20' steady watts, 20' HIM watts, cd 5'. Then run 30', and although there are some "rules" for the run, I just do what I can at a comfortable pace.
It seemed easier (also as evidenced by my heart rate, if you care) to hit the HIM watts, and I was using 125-130 for these, but I averaged like 136 for each of those intervals. Interesting, because I know at my fastest HIM that's about where my watts were. But using the rule of thumb that my watts outside will always be higher because it's easier to hit them actually riding outdoors, this should mean that I can race faster next year :)
The entire time I was running I felt like puking. My stomach just has not been right lately, but I had a thought today--that now that I'm able to work harder in workouts, it just means I should be taking in even less calories than I used to? Or else I'm dehydrated. Hard to say. During the ride I drank 32 oz. of Gatorade plus a 12 oz. Code Red. That's 22 oz. fluid/hour (which is plenty given the nice cool indoor temps), and about 200 calories/hour. I need to start tracking my fluid and calorie intake, as the fitter I get, the more precise I need to work it out, otherwise I will either be bonking or puking during races! Although I don't mind the dry heave gagging that I experience lately at the end of these workouts--it's quite entertaining.
Another thought I had today was that maybe I can't tolerate as much "sweetness" in my training nutrition as I could previously. I know that gels pretty much make me gag nowadays, but the one I ate today was an Energice gel, and it isn't that sickly sweet like Gu.
Oh well, stuff to think about and work on through the winter. Perhaps it's time for me to consult with a nutritionist to get this better figured out. I wish the fucking Gatorade lab that's not too far from home would let me in!!!
Time to go grocery shopping. I'm excited because I'll be buying more STEAK. I FUCKING LOVE STEAK!!
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Yesterday's Workouts
OK, kids, I was too tired to post this yesterday.
You should be laughing about how I always title these postings as if they have just to do with workouts, when in reality, they don't. You should have figured out by now (if I haven't already said it) that my training and racing is a vehicle for my self-awareness journey, and besides the workouts take a lot of time, and I tend to structure my day around them, so I guess workouts are the *STAR*!
I started the day by waking up later than I normally would, because the night before I had trouble falling asleep, I think because I drank too much Code Red the day before so that I could get through THAT day's workouts because I was mentally and physically tired.
Anyway, I didn't make it to the pool to start my workout until 7:52AM!!! What the fuck? Oh well, life goes on. Thankfully, the day before I had almost scheduled a conference call for 8AM, but serendipitously, the conferee pushed it back to 9AM, so I knew I would have plenty of time to get my swim in.
7:52AM Swim 2800 56'. When I got in the water and looked at my workout sheet (I put all my swim workouts into a Word document and then the printed paper gets folded and put into a Ziploc so it stays dry on the pool deck), there was NOTHING for that day, and I was temporarily confused. I figured I was supposed to do the workout that has 10x100 then 4x200, since I've been doing that for a few weeks on Wednesdays and Fridays, but then I remembered that coach only scheduled one actual swim this week. So I was free to do whatever I wanted. I figured, well, let's just do the standard warmup (200s, 200k, 200p, 200d) and then figure it out before I was done with that. I decided I would swim 1500p straight. I started out, it felt good, but after 300 yards I needed to adjust my swim cap because my right ear was full of water and it was getting uncomfortable. So I did that quickly, and started back. As I was nearing 1500 total yards of pulling, I thought, what the hell, this feels good let's do 2000 straight, especially since next week I will be doing 2200 straight in my 1/2 Ironman. I got 1300 yards more completed, and then Crabby Old Guy started moving the lane ropes to close my lane for the Aquacise class. I moved into the next lane quickly, got another 200 yards completed, and then a third person entered the lane and demanded we circle swim. OK, I was already in a lane with the slowest person known to mankind, and this guy didn't look fast, and I only had 200 yards to go, so no problem. Of course, I swam around them all, and that was my fastest 200 of the session. I felt like I could have kept going another 1500 yards, which is good since it means my swim endurance hasn't suffered much.
I had a little bit of strength training to finish up, but for some reason I didn't get to it until:
10:40 AM Lift 1x12, 8'
It was only 8', but I had to finish the workout, you know! And then I received an email stating that there was going to be this customer call at NOON. My plan was to run at noon, and then my brother, Tom, would be arriving to work on putting gutter guards on my house, and I figured I would clean up leaves while he was doing that.
But the conference call put a damper on that, so I hurried up and got ready to run.
10:57AM Run 57:44
I went west on 59th street up to Dunham, but this time I just kept going straight south on Dunham until it dead ends at 71st street. But I wasn't quite 30' out, so I ran on the sidewalk north on Main Street until I hit 30', and then I turned around. This route is nice--there is basically 2 miles of rolling, mostly uphill on the way out, and you would think it's downhill on the way back, but not quite. At any rate, it's not totally flat, so it's a good strength-building run. In my usual fashion, I had absolutely no issue with the hills or the wind--the winds were pretty good WSW, so I ran into them on the way out. I negative splitted the run by about 2:30, which was pretty good. I was supposed to run for an hour, but oh well, close enough!
When I got home, I didn't even have time to shower before jumping on the conference call, and yawn, BORING! I stayed on it maybe 40', and then just dropped off. It was all technical, and there was no real reason for me to be there. Finally I showered, and then my brother arrived.
I should have continued working, and I did jump on ANOTHER call (listen mode only) at 2PM, but as he was throwing crap out of the gutters, I figured I should clean it up. I cleaned out the gutters on my garage and also cut down the white lace clematis vine (NEVER plant one of these--they are almost like kudzu!). Then while I was at it, I swept and bagged up the leaves from my driveway. I spent about 3 hours total on yard work, and can you say I was tired and sore?
Tom worked one more hour, in twilight/darkness, and then we shut it down and I went to get a massage. Boy did I need that massage!
This morning I am still yard work sore, and I need to stretch before I get on my bike today.
Ironman Hawaii is on this afternoon, so by 3PM I will be happily loafing on the couch!
Oh yeah--I met the "kid" who has moved into white trash's house next door--he and his father, Gary, are going to fix up the place (yeah!). His name is Matt, and he's pretty young--my guess is mid-20's--and sort of a hottie. Let the fantasies begin!
You should be laughing about how I always title these postings as if they have just to do with workouts, when in reality, they don't. You should have figured out by now (if I haven't already said it) that my training and racing is a vehicle for my self-awareness journey, and besides the workouts take a lot of time, and I tend to structure my day around them, so I guess workouts are the *STAR*!
I started the day by waking up later than I normally would, because the night before I had trouble falling asleep, I think because I drank too much Code Red the day before so that I could get through THAT day's workouts because I was mentally and physically tired.
Anyway, I didn't make it to the pool to start my workout until 7:52AM!!! What the fuck? Oh well, life goes on. Thankfully, the day before I had almost scheduled a conference call for 8AM, but serendipitously, the conferee pushed it back to 9AM, so I knew I would have plenty of time to get my swim in.
7:52AM Swim 2800 56'. When I got in the water and looked at my workout sheet (I put all my swim workouts into a Word document and then the printed paper gets folded and put into a Ziploc so it stays dry on the pool deck), there was NOTHING for that day, and I was temporarily confused. I figured I was supposed to do the workout that has 10x100 then 4x200, since I've been doing that for a few weeks on Wednesdays and Fridays, but then I remembered that coach only scheduled one actual swim this week. So I was free to do whatever I wanted. I figured, well, let's just do the standard warmup (200s, 200k, 200p, 200d) and then figure it out before I was done with that. I decided I would swim 1500p straight. I started out, it felt good, but after 300 yards I needed to adjust my swim cap because my right ear was full of water and it was getting uncomfortable. So I did that quickly, and started back. As I was nearing 1500 total yards of pulling, I thought, what the hell, this feels good let's do 2000 straight, especially since next week I will be doing 2200 straight in my 1/2 Ironman. I got 1300 yards more completed, and then Crabby Old Guy started moving the lane ropes to close my lane for the Aquacise class. I moved into the next lane quickly, got another 200 yards completed, and then a third person entered the lane and demanded we circle swim. OK, I was already in a lane with the slowest person known to mankind, and this guy didn't look fast, and I only had 200 yards to go, so no problem. Of course, I swam around them all, and that was my fastest 200 of the session. I felt like I could have kept going another 1500 yards, which is good since it means my swim endurance hasn't suffered much.
I had a little bit of strength training to finish up, but for some reason I didn't get to it until:
10:40 AM Lift 1x12, 8'
It was only 8', but I had to finish the workout, you know! And then I received an email stating that there was going to be this customer call at NOON. My plan was to run at noon, and then my brother, Tom, would be arriving to work on putting gutter guards on my house, and I figured I would clean up leaves while he was doing that.
But the conference call put a damper on that, so I hurried up and got ready to run.
10:57AM Run 57:44
I went west on 59th street up to Dunham, but this time I just kept going straight south on Dunham until it dead ends at 71st street. But I wasn't quite 30' out, so I ran on the sidewalk north on Main Street until I hit 30', and then I turned around. This route is nice--there is basically 2 miles of rolling, mostly uphill on the way out, and you would think it's downhill on the way back, but not quite. At any rate, it's not totally flat, so it's a good strength-building run. In my usual fashion, I had absolutely no issue with the hills or the wind--the winds were pretty good WSW, so I ran into them on the way out. I negative splitted the run by about 2:30, which was pretty good. I was supposed to run for an hour, but oh well, close enough!
When I got home, I didn't even have time to shower before jumping on the conference call, and yawn, BORING! I stayed on it maybe 40', and then just dropped off. It was all technical, and there was no real reason for me to be there. Finally I showered, and then my brother arrived.
I should have continued working, and I did jump on ANOTHER call (listen mode only) at 2PM, but as he was throwing crap out of the gutters, I figured I should clean it up. I cleaned out the gutters on my garage and also cut down the white lace clematis vine (NEVER plant one of these--they are almost like kudzu!). Then while I was at it, I swept and bagged up the leaves from my driveway. I spent about 3 hours total on yard work, and can you say I was tired and sore?
Tom worked one more hour, in twilight/darkness, and then we shut it down and I went to get a massage. Boy did I need that massage!
This morning I am still yard work sore, and I need to stretch before I get on my bike today.
Ironman Hawaii is on this afternoon, so by 3PM I will be happily loafing on the couch!
Oh yeah--I met the "kid" who has moved into white trash's house next door--he and his father, Gary, are going to fix up the place (yeah!). His name is Matt, and he's pretty young--my guess is mid-20's--and sort of a hottie. Let the fantasies begin!
Friday, November 11, 2005
A Little Bit of the Ultra Violence
Here's my buddy, Alex, from my favorite movie, A Clockwork Orange. The movie was also directed by my favorite director, Stanley Kubrick (may he rest in peace).
I have always felt that I have a little bit of Alex in me, and that we all do. What makes us different is how we choose to honor that presence (or not). I don't consider myself a violent person; although I have had a few episodes of extreme anger. When those episodes happen to me, I try to just go with it. I think that the better you "know" yourself, the more fully you're able to experience the anger without it controlling you.
When I was going through my divorce (11 years ago now), I was full of anger, and one evening I went raging over to my soon-to-be-ex's rental abode and ended up whacking him with one of my arms that was in a cast. I (and he) was a little astonished at the time at the level of rage I was experiencing. At that time, I wasn't seeing clearly, and the rage took over.
About one month ago (October 7, to be exact), I was out riding my MTB on a cool, but mostly sunny day. I was riding more or less carefree for about 45 minutes when all of a sudden I was overcome with anger. My first reaction was, "Wow, I don't normally let any strong emotions into my space when I'm exercising," and then I began to wonder if I could continue biking. My legs felt fine, my cardiovascular system felt fine, yet I could feel this anger seething throughout my being. Instead of trying to fully understand it or fight it, I just let it be. I thought how interesting that I can be fully aware of the emotion yet continue what I was doing. Since I was wearing a heart rate monitor, I was able to glance at it, and didn't see any increase in my heart rate, but who knows what was going on with my blood pressure? At any rate, as I tried to think about what the anger meant, all while continuing to bike, I thought it better to defer the deep thought until I got home. After all, I did need to get home safely.
But, the brain, as it is wont to do, decided, no let's try and think about what this is about, as I made my way home. To me, this was the ultimate in multi-tasking! I was riding my bike, making sure I wasn't getting hit by any cars or going off trail or off road, feeling 100% anger coursing through my veins, and being able to watch myself do this and think about what was happening! I did have the same fleeting thought a few times: good thing I don't have a gun on me, or else I might shoot someone or something! But then I would feel in control and press on. I figured out that I was angry at myself, and yet at the same time, I was forgiving myself, and so letting myself really feel the anger was helpful in letting it go.
Am I concerned about the extent to which I felt and experienced that anger? No. As much as some people feel that any negative emotions are harmful, I personally feel you have to just let them happen, as long as you know you are "safe," and that others are safe, and if you can observe yourself while it's happening, no harm done. And then maybe the next time there is the same trigger that would cause the welling up of that emotion, maybe I will figure out its source sooner or maybe it will pass more quickly. Emotions serve a purpose, right? We typically only learn from the negative ones--anger, frustration, sadness, loneliness--yet we have the capacity to learn from the positive ones as well.
I'm singggggggin' in the rain.....just singggggggin' in the rain.....what a glorious feeeeeling I'm happy again!
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Today's Workouts
All right--we are back on track after yesterday's debacle.
9:00AM Lift 39' Still on 1 set, 12 reps. I keep thinking how do I want to change weight/sets/reps in the coming weeks....it's getting to be time to change things, but I guess I shouldn't change anything next week, since I'm doing a 1/2 Ironman next week. Perhaps the week after, but then again, I will be recovering, so I guess I need to wait a bit before making a big change! This seems about right, since if I follow my original periodization scheme, that was when I would begin the "official" program. I think maybe I'll just skip the full 2x20 and 3x20 weeks and stay on 2x20 or else even skip those and just go from 2x12 to the power/endurance phase. The lifting makes me tired, even as the extra abs/core work seems to be doing wonders for everything!
1:41PM Same bike workout as Tuesday: WU: 15' warmup, 3 x SpinUps. Then 3 x 2' (1') Zone 3 MS: FT repeats: 3x15' (2'). In aero bars, normal TT cadence. CD: 4' Easy. FUCKING OUCH!!! These are SO HARD. My coach says that's because I'm doing them on the trainer, and my HR is higher than it would be outdoors. There's some truth to that, but also I think that I am actually hitting higher average watts than I was when doing these outdoors. So maybe that means my "outdoor" watts will be higher than they were last year??? Wouldn't that be fucking great?
My headache went away after taking (2) 8-hour Tylenol and drinking a can of Code Red to go along with it. At least I was feeling no pain during the bike workout. I mean, come on, I had my LEGS to worry about, not my head.
So I drink the Endurox R4, listen to voice mail and instead of showering right up afterwards, I have to jump on a conference call for work. It was useless for me to attend it, as it was all technical mumbo-jumbo, but it was a "show of force." Our technical guy is great--the problem is the customer may not be that good with their own environment. Oh well, I sat there, waiting to shower and all (I managed to wash my face while on the call). I also managed to get my LUNCH down. And then my stomach began to hurt again. I guess I have to stay away from the Sylvia's sauce and anything spicy for awhile. My poor little GI tract just isn't handling things well! Not like me--what the fuck, where's my iron stomach?
Well, I will be all over the Pepto-Bismol tonight BEFORE it's bedtime, so I can obliterate whatever the hell is going on with my stomach.
The training goes well, I'm on track, I'm sleeping and my mind is in the right place. Onward with
THE DARK SIDE: FUCKING HARDCORE AGGRO TRAINING
9:00AM Lift 39' Still on 1 set, 12 reps. I keep thinking how do I want to change weight/sets/reps in the coming weeks....it's getting to be time to change things, but I guess I shouldn't change anything next week, since I'm doing a 1/2 Ironman next week. Perhaps the week after, but then again, I will be recovering, so I guess I need to wait a bit before making a big change! This seems about right, since if I follow my original periodization scheme, that was when I would begin the "official" program. I think maybe I'll just skip the full 2x20 and 3x20 weeks and stay on 2x20 or else even skip those and just go from 2x12 to the power/endurance phase. The lifting makes me tired, even as the extra abs/core work seems to be doing wonders for everything!
1:41PM Same bike workout as Tuesday: WU: 15' warmup, 3 x SpinUps. Then 3 x 2' (1') Zone 3 MS: FT repeats: 3x15' (2'). In aero bars, normal TT cadence. CD: 4' Easy. FUCKING OUCH!!! These are SO HARD. My coach says that's because I'm doing them on the trainer, and my HR is higher than it would be outdoors. There's some truth to that, but also I think that I am actually hitting higher average watts than I was when doing these outdoors. So maybe that means my "outdoor" watts will be higher than they were last year??? Wouldn't that be fucking great?
My headache went away after taking (2) 8-hour Tylenol and drinking a can of Code Red to go along with it. At least I was feeling no pain during the bike workout. I mean, come on, I had my LEGS to worry about, not my head.
So I drink the Endurox R4, listen to voice mail and instead of showering right up afterwards, I have to jump on a conference call for work. It was useless for me to attend it, as it was all technical mumbo-jumbo, but it was a "show of force." Our technical guy is great--the problem is the customer may not be that good with their own environment. Oh well, I sat there, waiting to shower and all (I managed to wash my face while on the call). I also managed to get my LUNCH down. And then my stomach began to hurt again. I guess I have to stay away from the Sylvia's sauce and anything spicy for awhile. My poor little GI tract just isn't handling things well! Not like me--what the fuck, where's my iron stomach?
Well, I will be all over the Pepto-Bismol tonight BEFORE it's bedtime, so I can obliterate whatever the hell is going on with my stomach.
The training goes well, I'm on track, I'm sleeping and my mind is in the right place. Onward with
THE DARK SIDE: FUCKING HARDCORE AGGRO TRAINING
I think I just signed up to be someone's Mentor/The Dark Side
Which is totally cool by me. This is someone I know mostly just from online, although we met in person back in 2001. I will call her "Shelley." She has seen my online persona, which can be abrasive at times, and she has seen my athletic performance blossom over the years. Shelley has just recently decided she is ready to come over to the DARK SIDE, as I like to call it.
What is the Dark Side? It's a way of life where:
What is the Dark Side? It's a way of life where:
- You expect the best from yourself only because you want to find out how far you can go.
- You are willing to learn as much about yourself, mind AND body, as possible, in an effort to understand the complex being that is you, how it works, and what makes it work WELL.
- You are not afraid of bigger and bigger challenges, that once you actually begin them you are thinking, "what the fuck was I thinking when I signed up for this?"
- You are not afraid to dig deep in a workout if that's what it takes to accomplish what you need to do. But you are smart enough to throttle it back based on your self-knowledge of cause and effect.
- You understand that digging deep in a race is normal, not extreme.
- You are not swayed by the opinions/emotions of others. Opinions are to be considered and evaluated; emotions are for the other person to experience. YOUR emotions are to be experienced fully and guiltlessly--they are part of what makes life worth LIVING.
- You seek out and cultivate friendships/mentorships with those who challenge your way of thinking and being.
- You do not apologize to anyone for wanting to be in a different dimension of consciousness and physical achievement.
- You cultivate quiet confidence in yourself, knowing that revealing all about your thoughts and methods to those on the other side is a waste of your precious energy.
- You do not seek perfection; your aim is improvement through athletic performance while cultivating a mind of iron.
- You do not forget that a sense of humor about everything is necessary. Laughing at yourself is the easiest thing to do; laughing with others is infectious; and laughing AT others is even OK as long as it's kept in perspective.
- You are not afraid of labels like aggro, hardcore, extreme or crazy; in fact, you consider them compliments!
Yesterday's workouts
Sorry I'm late in posting this. You'd think I'd fallen into some sort of rut. God (or your favorite spiritual deity) forbid!
I had to meet business folk for breakfast at 7AM 35 FUCKING MILES FROM HOME. You'd think leaving at 6AM would give me plenty of time, but I made it, even about 8 minutes late, due to Mapquest not telling me whether to turn left or right on the road where the restaurant is located.
I had bad coffee (this seemed odd for a Walker Brothers Pancake House, but I just went bleah when I tasted it, yet they kept filling my cup), 2 eggs over easy and a stack of 4 rather small (4" diameter?) pancakes, with the butter moved off but plenty of syrup (SUGAR!!!!). This should have been fine for my stomach and all, but my stomach/GI tract didn't feel well the rest of the day. Maybe I had bad eggs, or maybe it was the bad coffee, or maybe the food was just too rich for my finely-honed metabolism.
It took me 1:15 to drive back home--the highway was a parking lot--so this just put me in a great mood after meeting with an irate, yet passive-aggressive customer (he seemed so nice), and I had to figure out when I was going to get my workouts in, since I didn't have time to do my usual 6AM swim.
After I arrived home, I figured I had better summarize the damn meeting from my notes, lest all those thoughts disappear. Synopsis (from customer's viewpoint): I WANT, I WANT, I WANT, I WANT, I DESERVE. OK, fine. SO I finished the summary, and then decided I would run first, since I couldn't get into the pool until noon anyway.
10:29AM Run about 1 hour. The workout called for 15' Easy, 15' Steady MS: 20' Mod-Hard/z4 CD: 10' Steady. I was going to run outdoors, and I knew it was windy (15-25MPH sustained, with gusts to 35), so I figured I'd run out against the wind as best I could, and then try and pick it up on the way back, figuring I'd negative split because of a tailwind. As I began running, the wind really didn't bother me, and neither did the hills. But my stomach felt like total crap. It had been 3 hours since that "breakfast," yet it felt like I had indigestion, which is not common for me. Then again, it's not common for me to eat a breakfast like that unless I've done a workout beforehand. At any rate, while my legs and power had their usual "floatiness," my stomach felt like crap. I didn't worry about my intensity level, I just let it happen. I don't know how fast I was running, but my guess is 8:45-9:00mpm, which technically is "steady to slightly hard" for me. As I turned around after 30', I noticed that I wasn't really going to have a tailwind all the way back. The winds were WNW, and they seemed to keep coming in my face a lot of the time. No worries though, about 15' from being done, finally my stomach didn't feel "rotten," and I was able to consciously pick up my pace, at least I did based on my HR. I negative split the run by about 1:30, which is fine, and I figure I got enough intensity in there, what with battling the wind the entire time. But I didn't walk any hills!!!
12:22PM Swim 2600 yards, 57'. The swim wasn't good. While my stomach calmed down due to floating in water, my arms were just dead, and I guess my legs from the harder-than-I-thought running. I was supposed to do 2800 yards, and really I should have stopped sooner, but for some reason I pressed on through 2600. I just felt sluggish and sore. Serve me right for swimming right after a moderately hard run!
I came back home to a few fires at work, and got to listen to another irate customer, oh joy. Meanwhile, I thought my stomach was OK, and later I ate a nice trout filet for dinner, but instead of eating starch with it, I ended up snacking on fat-free string cheese and leftover Halloween candy. Not your ideal combination! About 1/2 hour before bedtime, my stomach started feeling horrible, all knotted up, so I took 1/2 serving of Pepto-Bismol and a couple of Maalox tablets, and that was enough to calm things down so I could sleep.
But when I woke up today, I had (still have) a headache, and my stomach is not right. I don't know what's going on, because I rarely have stomach issues, but one thing I know it means I am having mental/emotional issues. I'm sure it's just a part of this lovely experience I'm having, so I'm not concerned, or maybe I have an actual stomach bug.
At any rate, I'm trying to be nice to my stomach today, since I really want this to go away.
I had to meet business folk for breakfast at 7AM 35 FUCKING MILES FROM HOME. You'd think leaving at 6AM would give me plenty of time, but I made it, even about 8 minutes late, due to Mapquest not telling me whether to turn left or right on the road where the restaurant is located.
I had bad coffee (this seemed odd for a Walker Brothers Pancake House, but I just went bleah when I tasted it, yet they kept filling my cup), 2 eggs over easy and a stack of 4 rather small (4" diameter?) pancakes, with the butter moved off but plenty of syrup (SUGAR!!!!). This should have been fine for my stomach and all, but my stomach/GI tract didn't feel well the rest of the day. Maybe I had bad eggs, or maybe it was the bad coffee, or maybe the food was just too rich for my finely-honed metabolism.
It took me 1:15 to drive back home--the highway was a parking lot--so this just put me in a great mood after meeting with an irate, yet passive-aggressive customer (he seemed so nice), and I had to figure out when I was going to get my workouts in, since I didn't have time to do my usual 6AM swim.
After I arrived home, I figured I had better summarize the damn meeting from my notes, lest all those thoughts disappear. Synopsis (from customer's viewpoint): I WANT, I WANT, I WANT, I WANT, I DESERVE. OK, fine. SO I finished the summary, and then decided I would run first, since I couldn't get into the pool until noon anyway.
10:29AM Run about 1 hour. The workout called for 15' Easy, 15' Steady MS: 20' Mod-Hard/z4 CD: 10' Steady. I was going to run outdoors, and I knew it was windy (15-25MPH sustained, with gusts to 35), so I figured I'd run out against the wind as best I could, and then try and pick it up on the way back, figuring I'd negative split because of a tailwind. As I began running, the wind really didn't bother me, and neither did the hills. But my stomach felt like total crap. It had been 3 hours since that "breakfast," yet it felt like I had indigestion, which is not common for me. Then again, it's not common for me to eat a breakfast like that unless I've done a workout beforehand. At any rate, while my legs and power had their usual "floatiness," my stomach felt like crap. I didn't worry about my intensity level, I just let it happen. I don't know how fast I was running, but my guess is 8:45-9:00mpm, which technically is "steady to slightly hard" for me. As I turned around after 30', I noticed that I wasn't really going to have a tailwind all the way back. The winds were WNW, and they seemed to keep coming in my face a lot of the time. No worries though, about 15' from being done, finally my stomach didn't feel "rotten," and I was able to consciously pick up my pace, at least I did based on my HR. I negative split the run by about 1:30, which is fine, and I figure I got enough intensity in there, what with battling the wind the entire time. But I didn't walk any hills!!!
12:22PM Swim 2600 yards, 57'. The swim wasn't good. While my stomach calmed down due to floating in water, my arms were just dead, and I guess my legs from the harder-than-I-thought running. I was supposed to do 2800 yards, and really I should have stopped sooner, but for some reason I pressed on through 2600. I just felt sluggish and sore. Serve me right for swimming right after a moderately hard run!
I came back home to a few fires at work, and got to listen to another irate customer, oh joy. Meanwhile, I thought my stomach was OK, and later I ate a nice trout filet for dinner, but instead of eating starch with it, I ended up snacking on fat-free string cheese and leftover Halloween candy. Not your ideal combination! About 1/2 hour before bedtime, my stomach started feeling horrible, all knotted up, so I took 1/2 serving of Pepto-Bismol and a couple of Maalox tablets, and that was enough to calm things down so I could sleep.
But when I woke up today, I had (still have) a headache, and my stomach is not right. I don't know what's going on, because I rarely have stomach issues, but one thing I know it means I am having mental/emotional issues. I'm sure it's just a part of this lovely experience I'm having, so I'm not concerned, or maybe I have an actual stomach bug.
At any rate, I'm trying to be nice to my stomach today, since I really want this to go away.
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Musings
I am beginning to see that I am still who I thought I was, only now I can begin to know myself. And that knowing includes certain aspects of my personality that are just there, that some would argue are not "good," but I am not yet going for the complete overhaul.
I am still judgmental without expectations and realize that we all have our failings. That doesn't mean I can't make a conscious choice about who I associate with. Or that I can't have emotions about others that aren't necessarily shiny, happy ones. I do laugh at how I observe others judging me, and whereas it used to bother me, it no longer does. People like that just go on my discard list.
I am competitive. This is one of the big reasons for honing my mental skills. I want to see how far I can go in my athletic pursuits. Beginning after the Disney marathon in January, I am prepared to become more or less a hermit that eats, sleeps and exercises very precisely and purely. It will be an interesting experiment to see what life is like--not just for me, but how others react to it. Yet I know that I will continue to have my usual fun.
I did make a mistake the other day where I let my own curiosity get the better of me. I emailed J and asked what was going on with him. He did reply, but I am not going to read the email. I shouldn't have asked, and I don't need to know the answer. I am making progress!
Did have an interesting dream last night--I was at some sort of party thing that was divided into two rooms--the "cheap" room and the "expensive" room. I was at the cheap party. There was barely anything to eat or drink, but there were good, fun people to hang out with. I wandered into the expensive party, and there was a lavish buffet spread out, and most people had eaten, and I could have taken whatever I wanted, but I didn't. I returned to the cheap party. Then I put platinum blond hair color on my hair. In the dream I had a chin length, bob cut. I went outside to rinse off the hair color using a hose (!), and after rinsing and trying to dry my hair with a cheap towel, I went back inside to see how it looked. Well, I had these black roots about 2" long still showing! I wondered how I could have missed so much of my hair. Parts of it were a light brown, but the rest was platinum blond. I am not going to analyze this one!
I am still judgmental without expectations and realize that we all have our failings. That doesn't mean I can't make a conscious choice about who I associate with. Or that I can't have emotions about others that aren't necessarily shiny, happy ones. I do laugh at how I observe others judging me, and whereas it used to bother me, it no longer does. People like that just go on my discard list.
I am competitive. This is one of the big reasons for honing my mental skills. I want to see how far I can go in my athletic pursuits. Beginning after the Disney marathon in January, I am prepared to become more or less a hermit that eats, sleeps and exercises very precisely and purely. It will be an interesting experiment to see what life is like--not just for me, but how others react to it. Yet I know that I will continue to have my usual fun.
I did make a mistake the other day where I let my own curiosity get the better of me. I emailed J and asked what was going on with him. He did reply, but I am not going to read the email. I shouldn't have asked, and I don't need to know the answer. I am making progress!
Did have an interesting dream last night--I was at some sort of party thing that was divided into two rooms--the "cheap" room and the "expensive" room. I was at the cheap party. There was barely anything to eat or drink, but there were good, fun people to hang out with. I wandered into the expensive party, and there was a lavish buffet spread out, and most people had eaten, and I could have taken whatever I wanted, but I didn't. I returned to the cheap party. Then I put platinum blond hair color on my hair. In the dream I had a chin length, bob cut. I went outside to rinse off the hair color using a hose (!), and after rinsing and trying to dry my hair with a cheap towel, I went back inside to see how it looked. Well, I had these black roots about 2" long still showing! I wondered how I could have missed so much of my hair. Parts of it were a light brown, but the rest was platinum blond. I am not going to analyze this one!
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Today's workouts
7:30AM Lifted weights, 1 set of 12 reps, except for abs/core where I do 2 sets of 15 reps. Took me 47' today. To give you an idea of my weight lifting routine, here are the number of exercises I do by body part:
Biceps: 5
Triceps: 4
Delts/rotators: 13
Pecs: 4
Lats/Traps: 5
Calves: 1
Ab/Adductors: 5
Glutes: 3
Hams: 4
Quads: 6
Abs/core: 12
No wonder my shoulders don't tire when swimming 2.4 miles! I will increase the sets to 2 in 3 weeks, and then hold there for quite a while. I used to go 3x12, 3x15, 3x20 and then 2x20 in my periodization, but since I added so many different exercises, it's just not practical for me to do that many sets, and it won't make that much of a difference anyway, as long as I keep doing 2 full-body workouts per week.
1:55PM Bike workout on trainer, 1:20, as follows:
15' warmup
3' spinups
3x(2' Z3 HR, 1' cd)
3x15' (2') FT
4' cd
Man, those FT intervals are FUCKING HARD!!! But I do them, and I make them HURT. I have to increase my cadence or gear on the 2nd and 3rd interval just to generate the same power. I averaged 155 watts each interval today. I want to be at 160 in 2 weeks. It's amazing I can even do this workout after lifting in the morning. 47' doesn't sound like a particularly long or intense strength session, but remember, I have all the weights in my house--no waiting, no wiping down, so my workouts are more like circuits, and if I rest more than 5", I stop the clock for how long I've been working.
I got a delivery of some new pink stuff from Nordstrom today. Cute, but I am not including a picture. I am waiting for new pink shoes to arrive.
I gave Shelley "the talk" today via email. By that I mean the talk about getting real about her training and racing goals. So many people say "I want to do X time" in a race without anything to base it on, other than the passage of time. Great, so you keep doing essentially the same thing, and expect to get faster. That's the definition of insanity! Anyway, I hope she doesn't get too pissed at me for telling it like it is.
My belief is that many coaches nowadays are actually capitalizing on the stupidity/gullibility of most athletes who figure if I just keep training long enough, I will achieve whatever arbitrary goals I've set for myself, and that if I also just pay a coach, I am even more likely to hit those goals. What coaches should be doing is understanding the athlete's past training and racing history, time available to train, expectations, and then work with the athlete to come up with a reasonable training plan that meshes with reasonable goals. This has to include periodic fitness measurements, or else it is just shooting in the dark. And the testing protocol has to be specific to the race distances. For example, it makes no fucking sense to extrapolate one's Ironman marathon time based on a 5K outcome, or even a standalone marathon! Triathlon running is not the same as standalone running, especially at the longer distances.
Enough of that rant.
Today's words of wisdom: GO FUCKING HARDCORE AGGRO OR GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!!
Biceps: 5
Triceps: 4
Delts/rotators: 13
Pecs: 4
Lats/Traps: 5
Calves: 1
Ab/Adductors: 5
Glutes: 3
Hams: 4
Quads: 6
Abs/core: 12
No wonder my shoulders don't tire when swimming 2.4 miles! I will increase the sets to 2 in 3 weeks, and then hold there for quite a while. I used to go 3x12, 3x15, 3x20 and then 2x20 in my periodization, but since I added so many different exercises, it's just not practical for me to do that many sets, and it won't make that much of a difference anyway, as long as I keep doing 2 full-body workouts per week.
1:55PM Bike workout on trainer, 1:20, as follows:
15' warmup
3' spinups
3x(2' Z3 HR, 1' cd)
3x15' (2') FT
4' cd
Man, those FT intervals are FUCKING HARD!!! But I do them, and I make them HURT. I have to increase my cadence or gear on the 2nd and 3rd interval just to generate the same power. I averaged 155 watts each interval today. I want to be at 160 in 2 weeks. It's amazing I can even do this workout after lifting in the morning. 47' doesn't sound like a particularly long or intense strength session, but remember, I have all the weights in my house--no waiting, no wiping down, so my workouts are more like circuits, and if I rest more than 5", I stop the clock for how long I've been working.
I got a delivery of some new pink stuff from Nordstrom today. Cute, but I am not including a picture. I am waiting for new pink shoes to arrive.
I gave Shelley "the talk" today via email. By that I mean the talk about getting real about her training and racing goals. So many people say "I want to do X time" in a race without anything to base it on, other than the passage of time. Great, so you keep doing essentially the same thing, and expect to get faster. That's the definition of insanity! Anyway, I hope she doesn't get too pissed at me for telling it like it is.
My belief is that many coaches nowadays are actually capitalizing on the stupidity/gullibility of most athletes who figure if I just keep training long enough, I will achieve whatever arbitrary goals I've set for myself, and that if I also just pay a coach, I am even more likely to hit those goals. What coaches should be doing is understanding the athlete's past training and racing history, time available to train, expectations, and then work with the athlete to come up with a reasonable training plan that meshes with reasonable goals. This has to include periodic fitness measurements, or else it is just shooting in the dark. And the testing protocol has to be specific to the race distances. For example, it makes no fucking sense to extrapolate one's Ironman marathon time based on a 5K outcome, or even a standalone marathon! Triathlon running is not the same as standalone running, especially at the longer distances.
Enough of that rant.
Today's words of wisdom: GO FUCKING HARDCORE AGGRO OR GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!!
Miscellaneous and Yesterday's Workouts
I am officially registered for Ironman Florida 2006, care of my friend, Shelley. My occupation is listed as "butt model," and hers is "butt model's bitch." Apparently, some participant list stalkers have noticed this and are "concerned." Fuck them. I haven't even seen Shelley since the first time we met in 2001 at our first Ironman in Lake Placid. Shelley is really cool--she's a little better at not appearing too aggro to others, whereas I guess I don't hide it very easily. Even though I really am not all that aggro, I mean how can you judge that from email anyway? (I know Shelley through the tri-drs LISTSERV.)
My friend Matt called me yesterday to tell me he noticed I had registered for IMFL. He also told me that Judy registered. I told Matt I didn't know that she was registering. He's probably a little confused by me saying that. Oh well. It is not like I'm going to call Judy and tell her, "Hey, I'm registered for IMFL TOO!!!" It's good to see she's making decisions on her own without my influence. She will, I'm sure, at some point be grateful that I "set her free."
I seem to be in a holding pattern. Right now I really don't care if I spend time at all with other people. I don't really need anything from them, or at least I want to not want to need anything from them. Oh crap--that is a desire. I didn't say I was perfect. I think I'm getting better at not caring about others' reactions to me or things I say, and I am also trying to just "be" without any qualifications. This is all very new to me. And I need to be careful that I'm not trying too much.
The fluidity and floatiness of my running lately is not due to more thinking, for sure. It's letting go. Funny thing is that of the 3 triathlon sports, typically I would say my worst is running. Now, I am still not a fast runner; but I am beginning to feel like a strong runner. I believe this is where some of the floatiness comes from. My legs are really strong, and I've practiced good cadence for a few years now, so I can finally stop thinking about that. Now, instead of feeling effort in my legs when I run, I only sense it in my cardiovascular system, mostly in the chest. This is a complete shift for me. Maybe this is how lifelong runners feel, but it's something I've had to develop on my own. I'm sure it helps to not weigh much, either, because I truly feel almost weightless now when I run. Then I also think it's affected by the extra core work I've been doing. Who knows? All I know is that this is a very precious gift I've been given to be able to experience this in the here and now, and what it has to do with anything else probably won't be revealed to me for awhile. But if it's only so that I can feel a pure sensation without any attachment to it, without any expectations of it continuing, without the need for my mind to interfere with it, then I am good with that.
The squirrels appear to have stopped digging at my lily bulbs. I may have a net loss of zero, but for sure all of the bulbs are not in their original holes! Oh well, so I will have mixed varieties here and there. If that's the worst outcome, I'll take it!
I had wanted to do 3 workouts yesterday: swim, lift and run, but I ended up only swimming and running. Swim: 2750 yards at 6:29AM for 1:03. Run: 50' at 1:48PM. I ran outside, it was coolish and windy, but still I was just in shorts and a tank top. Nothing else notable to report about the workouts. They were both good, and I was glad to get back in the swing of things after all the traveling this weekend, and taking a day off from it on Sunday.
Ciao!
My friend Matt called me yesterday to tell me he noticed I had registered for IMFL. He also told me that Judy registered. I told Matt I didn't know that she was registering. He's probably a little confused by me saying that. Oh well. It is not like I'm going to call Judy and tell her, "Hey, I'm registered for IMFL TOO!!!" It's good to see she's making decisions on her own without my influence. She will, I'm sure, at some point be grateful that I "set her free."
I seem to be in a holding pattern. Right now I really don't care if I spend time at all with other people. I don't really need anything from them, or at least I want to not want to need anything from them. Oh crap--that is a desire. I didn't say I was perfect. I think I'm getting better at not caring about others' reactions to me or things I say, and I am also trying to just "be" without any qualifications. This is all very new to me. And I need to be careful that I'm not trying too much.
The fluidity and floatiness of my running lately is not due to more thinking, for sure. It's letting go. Funny thing is that of the 3 triathlon sports, typically I would say my worst is running. Now, I am still not a fast runner; but I am beginning to feel like a strong runner. I believe this is where some of the floatiness comes from. My legs are really strong, and I've practiced good cadence for a few years now, so I can finally stop thinking about that. Now, instead of feeling effort in my legs when I run, I only sense it in my cardiovascular system, mostly in the chest. This is a complete shift for me. Maybe this is how lifelong runners feel, but it's something I've had to develop on my own. I'm sure it helps to not weigh much, either, because I truly feel almost weightless now when I run. Then I also think it's affected by the extra core work I've been doing. Who knows? All I know is that this is a very precious gift I've been given to be able to experience this in the here and now, and what it has to do with anything else probably won't be revealed to me for awhile. But if it's only so that I can feel a pure sensation without any attachment to it, without any expectations of it continuing, without the need for my mind to interfere with it, then I am good with that.
The squirrels appear to have stopped digging at my lily bulbs. I may have a net loss of zero, but for sure all of the bulbs are not in their original holes! Oh well, so I will have mixed varieties here and there. If that's the worst outcome, I'll take it!
I had wanted to do 3 workouts yesterday: swim, lift and run, but I ended up only swimming and running. Swim: 2750 yards at 6:29AM for 1:03. Run: 50' at 1:48PM. I ran outside, it was coolish and windy, but still I was just in shorts and a tank top. Nothing else notable to report about the workouts. They were both good, and I was glad to get back in the swing of things after all the traveling this weekend, and taking a day off from it on Sunday.
Ciao!
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Saturday's Workout and Weekend
Well, kids, on Friday afternoon I flew to Lost Wages. Took me about 10 hours total, between driving and flying to Atlanta, and then flying in. But I got to spend all of Saturday with my dear friend, Susan, and got to meet her SO, Wolfgang.
I stayed up way past my bedtime on Friday to talk to Susan about some of the stuff I've been blogging about. I've discovered I don't want anything from anybody right now. It may be hard for some people to deal with, but I'm not going to worry about it.
On Saturday morning, Susan dropped me off at a gym to run 2 hours. I decided on a treadmill run since it would keep me honest to not go too hard, plus I was tired, so the treadmill would keep me at a decent pace, and I just didn't have the planning fortitude to find someplace else to run. So I'm on there for maybe 2 minutes, and I have a power outage. In my CD player, that is. Damn it, I can't run 2 hours on a treadmill with nothing! So I called Susan, and nice person that she is, she delivered me some new batteries, and I was back in business!
I set the treadmill to a 6mph (10' per mile) and just ran. There was a guy lifting weights before I started, and we kept eyeballing one another sort of like who is going to last the longest? Well, that would be ME, of course! I can outwork anyone! He was taking all sorts of rest anyway, so he could have spent less than 1/2 his time in there.
I managed to have my floaty legs as I ran, and it didn't feel hard until about the last 10 minutes. But it wasn't that my legs were toast--I was just jet-lagged, tired, and messed up. Next, we went to Terrible's Casino for the buffet lunch, and I had a mimosa and a beer. That pretty much set me up.
Next we went to Tacopa, CA, to spend some time in the hot springs bath. It was me, Susan, Wolfgang, and Wolfgang's friend, Myron. We all got naked and went in. I am not shy, so I could care less we were naked. We only lasted about 15 minutes even though we could have stayed in for 1 hour. That water was HOT!!!
Then we went to a date farm, that was in this really cool area where you go into some of the mountains. It was nice and cool down there. They put old shirts on the dates so the birds don't eat them. Looks kinda funny on palm trees, but necessary. I bought some really good dates to bring home, and tried part of a "date shake," which was a little too rich for me. We drove back to Pahrump (where Susan lives), and then later, Susan, Wolfgang and I had dinner at a local Mexican joint with margaritas. They were GOOD!!!
I could have stayed up all night talking again, but I needed to catch a 7AM flight, so at 8:30 Susan and I bagged it so we could get up at 4:30. My body woke me up about 1/2 hour before to use the bathroom, as I was still on CST. Got to the airport, went through the X-rays, and they confiscated the miniature pyramid Susan had given me. I was going to put one or two Barbie dolls in there to meditate. Oh well, good thing I hadn't become attached to it.
I am finally back home, and fuck, I'm registered in Ironman Florida 2006 care of Shelley McKee. I actually hope I don't end up going because I have to do Ironman Hawaii right before it, but it's nice insurance nonetheless. Looks like I'll be doing 2 Ironman races next year either way!!!
I am wearing pink pajamas as I write, and I've ordered some more pink things which should come next week, and I am tired, but life is good, but as always BETTER IN PINK!!!
I stayed up way past my bedtime on Friday to talk to Susan about some of the stuff I've been blogging about. I've discovered I don't want anything from anybody right now. It may be hard for some people to deal with, but I'm not going to worry about it.
On Saturday morning, Susan dropped me off at a gym to run 2 hours. I decided on a treadmill run since it would keep me honest to not go too hard, plus I was tired, so the treadmill would keep me at a decent pace, and I just didn't have the planning fortitude to find someplace else to run. So I'm on there for maybe 2 minutes, and I have a power outage. In my CD player, that is. Damn it, I can't run 2 hours on a treadmill with nothing! So I called Susan, and nice person that she is, she delivered me some new batteries, and I was back in business!
I set the treadmill to a 6mph (10' per mile) and just ran. There was a guy lifting weights before I started, and we kept eyeballing one another sort of like who is going to last the longest? Well, that would be ME, of course! I can outwork anyone! He was taking all sorts of rest anyway, so he could have spent less than 1/2 his time in there.
I managed to have my floaty legs as I ran, and it didn't feel hard until about the last 10 minutes. But it wasn't that my legs were toast--I was just jet-lagged, tired, and messed up. Next, we went to Terrible's Casino for the buffet lunch, and I had a mimosa and a beer. That pretty much set me up.
Next we went to Tacopa, CA, to spend some time in the hot springs bath. It was me, Susan, Wolfgang, and Wolfgang's friend, Myron. We all got naked and went in. I am not shy, so I could care less we were naked. We only lasted about 15 minutes even though we could have stayed in for 1 hour. That water was HOT!!!
Then we went to a date farm, that was in this really cool area where you go into some of the mountains. It was nice and cool down there. They put old shirts on the dates so the birds don't eat them. Looks kinda funny on palm trees, but necessary. I bought some really good dates to bring home, and tried part of a "date shake," which was a little too rich for me. We drove back to Pahrump (where Susan lives), and then later, Susan, Wolfgang and I had dinner at a local Mexican joint with margaritas. They were GOOD!!!
I could have stayed up all night talking again, but I needed to catch a 7AM flight, so at 8:30 Susan and I bagged it so we could get up at 4:30. My body woke me up about 1/2 hour before to use the bathroom, as I was still on CST. Got to the airport, went through the X-rays, and they confiscated the miniature pyramid Susan had given me. I was going to put one or two Barbie dolls in there to meditate. Oh well, good thing I hadn't become attached to it.
I am finally back home, and fuck, I'm registered in Ironman Florida 2006 care of Shelley McKee. I actually hope I don't end up going because I have to do Ironman Hawaii right before it, but it's nice insurance nonetheless. Looks like I'll be doing 2 Ironman races next year either way!!!
I am wearing pink pajamas as I write, and I've ordered some more pink things which should come next week, and I am tired, but life is good, but as always BETTER IN PINK!!!
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