Miscellaneous and Yesterday's Workouts

I am officially registered for Ironman Florida 2006, care of my friend, Shelley. My occupation is listed as "butt model," and hers is "butt model's bitch." Apparently, some participant list stalkers have noticed this and are "concerned." Fuck them. I haven't even seen Shelley since the first time we met in 2001 at our first Ironman in Lake Placid. Shelley is really cool--she's a little better at not appearing too aggro to others, whereas I guess I don't hide it very easily. Even though I really am not all that aggro, I mean how can you judge that from email anyway? (I know Shelley through the tri-drs LISTSERV.)

My friend Matt called me yesterday to tell me he noticed I had registered for IMFL. He also told me that Judy registered. I told Matt I didn't know that she was registering. He's probably a little confused by me saying that. Oh well. It is not like I'm going to call Judy and tell her, "Hey, I'm registered for IMFL TOO!!!" It's good to see she's making decisions on her own without my influence. She will, I'm sure, at some point be grateful that I "set her free."

I seem to be in a holding pattern. Right now I really don't care if I spend time at all with other people. I don't really need anything from them, or at least I want to not want to need anything from them. Oh crap--that is a desire. I didn't say I was perfect. I think I'm getting better at not caring about others' reactions to me or things I say, and I am also trying to just "be" without any qualifications. This is all very new to me. And I need to be careful that I'm not trying too much.

The fluidity and floatiness of my running lately is not due to more thinking, for sure. It's letting go. Funny thing is that of the 3 triathlon sports, typically I would say my worst is running. Now, I am still not a fast runner; but I am beginning to feel like a strong runner. I believe this is where some of the floatiness comes from. My legs are really strong, and I've practiced good cadence for a few years now, so I can finally stop thinking about that. Now, instead of feeling effort in my legs when I run, I only sense it in my cardiovascular system, mostly in the chest. This is a complete shift for me. Maybe this is how lifelong runners feel, but it's something I've had to develop on my own. I'm sure it helps to not weigh much, either, because I truly feel almost weightless now when I run. Then I also think it's affected by the extra core work I've been doing. Who knows? All I know is that this is a very precious gift I've been given to be able to experience this in the here and now, and what it has to do with anything else probably won't be revealed to me for awhile. But if it's only so that I can feel a pure sensation without any attachment to it, without any expectations of it continuing, without the need for my mind to interfere with it, then I am good with that.

The squirrels appear to have stopped digging at my lily bulbs. I may have a net loss of zero, but for sure all of the bulbs are not in their original holes! Oh well, so I will have mixed varieties here and there. If that's the worst outcome, I'll take it!

I had wanted to do 3 workouts yesterday: swim, lift and run, but I ended up only swimming and running. Swim: 2750 yards at 6:29AM for 1:03. Run: 50' at 1:48PM. I ran outside, it was coolish and windy, but still I was just in shorts and a tank top. Nothing else notable to report about the workouts. They were both good, and I was glad to get back in the swing of things after all the traveling this weekend, and taking a day off from it on Sunday.

Ciao!