Hello, Taper

Hello Taper my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because I knew that I must see you
To let my body do its best for you
And the reason that I came to you in pain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams I ran alone
Narrow streets of marathon
'Neath the halo of a glowstick
I turned my face to watch the bold and quick
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence

And in the brilliant light I saw
Two thousand people, maybe more
People running without speaking
People hearing without listening
People living dreams that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence

"Fools", said I, "You do not know
This is all you need to know
See my calm that I might teach you
Trust yourself that you know what to do"
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed
In the wells of silence

And spectators cheered and prayed
To some IM god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, "The Ironman could care less what you’ve done and when you fall
And that is all"
And whispered in the sounds of silence

One Bike, Two Bike, Clean Bike, Bling Bike

I finally got around to giving CF a good cleaning, and LGL had some splooge on her down tube from riding on Monday, so I had to wipe her down and relube a few cables, and then I decided Bitchie gets to go for a 100 mile ride today, only she's going as Ultra Bitch!

It is going to be the best Fourth of July ride ever, as the temps are only going to be in the 70's with gentle NE winds (or so they say--we'll see about the wind!). Sadly, this is my longest ride until IMLP, although I get to ride 4 hours on Sunday. So I fully intend to enjoy the hell out of it, even if I do look like a dork riding a disk wheel and wearing panties!

After I finish riding and get home, it's going to be a little nappy time, then working on my flowers and/or washing/waxing my car and hanging out until the fireworks, which I'm going to actually stay up for!

Happy Fourth of July to everyone in the good old U S of A!

Remembering Who You Are and Learning All Over Again

I was cruising through some of my older posts, and I am always surprised at the continuity of thought that I see in myself, albeit peppered with current events in my life. I think that part of the enlightenment process is coming to a deep, deep understanding of what and who you are so that you can let go of it! Until that has happened, though, I fully intend to live the hell out of life in my own Crackheaded way.

Here's a post of mine that pretty much sums me up (just read the last part in bold italics). And now I would like to add to that (props to Brett who pointed this out on his blog) the Stotan philosophy of Percy Cerutty. When I read this, I thought, "Yep, that's me in a nutshell."

Some people, I'm sure, when they first come to my blog, don't know what the hell to think--is this woman nuts or what? Some pick up a hardcore vibe, some my little bit of rough around the edges. I've always said I'm a doer. There are many things I like to do, but I have this overriding drive to perfect my mind and body. I'm a slacker in some ways, though, since I'm not really that stoic when it comes to my diet or some aspects of cleanliness (my house, that is). I could do way better. But I think that is my personal stamp on Stotanism, and I always know that at any time I can flip that switch and go into 100% undiluted, puritanical, get-the-fuck-outta-my-face Crackheadedness.

My overriding personal principle is integrity:

Main Entry:

in·teg·ri·ty

Pronunciation:

\in-ˈte-grə-tē\

Function:

noun

Etymology:

Middle English integrite, from Middle French & Latin; Middle French integrité, from Latin integritat-, integritas, from integr-, integer entire

Date:

14th century

1: firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values : incorruptibility
2: an unimpaired condition : soundness
3: the quality or state of being complete or undivided : completeness

To me, integrity is being true to myself. Of course, in order to do that, I need to know who I am! And I think I've got that covered. Integrity requires a great deal of consciousness. I could relate many stories of the past 8 months where my integrity came shining through, but some of that is way too personal to discuss here. Suffice it to say, that whether I'm happy or sad, strong or weak, I know it.

And now back to that Stotan thing. I really enjoy meeting others who are Stotans--those who cultivate their bodies for the sake of cultivating their bodies. My chosen method happens to be Ironman training and racing right now, but before that it was bodybuilding, and as long as I am physically able, I will keep pushing my body to perform well for me and look good. I recall on a training ride earlier this year that the people I was with are definitely Stotans, and I remarked to them, "Do I attract people like this?" And the answer is YES. Stotans attract other Stotans. We are also happy to encourage non-Stotans to become like us, because, well, what's wrong with that? When someone says to me, "I could never do that," my response is always, "Don't say you can't--say you choose not to." Stotanism is not for everyone--but it is for me!

I also think Stotanism can be summed up in one word: HTFU!

Watch this while you read. You knew it was coming!

_______________________________________________________
The Stotan Code
Percy Cerutty
‘Maker of Champions’

A Stotan is one who hardens, strengthens, toughens and beautifies the body by consistent habits and regular exercises, which are consciously and irrevocably made part of the life plan of the individual, as well as consciously determining that the mind will be cultivated upon such abstractions as purity, beauty and logic. Erudition, in as complete a degree as possible shall be the lifelong aim: Truth, in relation to all aspects of life, the unending search.

Stotans will, by virtue of their philosophy, be nature lovers, with a respect and appreciation of all evolved or created things. They will appreciate the sanctity of creative effort both in themselves and in others. They will strive to understand the significance implied by reality, will be able to discern the real from the spurious, and see no anomaly in nudity, either in body or mind. But neither will they cast pearls before swine.

Stotans, for all the reasons that their philosophy stands for (viz: hardness, toughness, unswerving devotion to an ideal), would look upon the sea (or mountains) as their pristine element and endeavour to associate themselves with their primeval source by immersing themselves at least once per month in all seasons of the year. No practice is disposed to toughen, both the body and the morale, more than this.

Stotans believe that neither the body nor the mind can be maintained at a high pitch of efficiency unless sufficient and regular rest is obtained, and aim at a daily average of of 8 hours sleep. Stotans, also, will not be found in social places after midnight. Stotans shall so regulate their lives that at the end of a period, varying with the intensity of effort, each shall realize that they have attained, without conscious striving, to a state of knowledge, and a position of leadership within the community. It is axiomatic that only the pure can understand purity, only the cultivated appreciate beauty, and only the strong truly measure their strength. Therefore, only the self-disciplined can command genuine respect.

A program shall be aimed at which shall be designed to [train each Stotan]:-

(a)… to withstand physical hardship, to accomplish feats of strength and endurance, to understand orderliness, and the true meaning of intelligence.

(b) To know himself as an organism and a personality

(c) To emerge, eventually emancipated, from all dogmas, creeds, and beliefs, as well as worldly and unworldly hopes and fears.

(d) To habitually function upon the highest planes of thought and physical effort.

(e) To place the objective of an alert, informed intelligence, and a perfected body, as primary in Life. And to arrive at the conclusion that all else will follow on.

(f) To learn that on this basis, the whole world, and all that it has to offer, opens out as a vision, splendid, normal and realizable.

(g) To understand that Past, Futures, Fates, Fears, Death, Selfishness, Egoism, Pride, Envy, Hate and Prejudice can be replaced by Intelligence that controls emotion, dominates destiny, manifests completeness and exults in Life.

(h) To understand that, in actuality, evolved man is a King, but without the trappings. That Kingship is his right and his destiny. That we can make ourselves, in time, all that we would. That we honour real men but are subservient to none.

In addition, Stotans shall train themselves to withstand, stoically, personal criticism, also, scepticism as the necessity or wisdom of such a Way of Life. In this regard, Stotans soon learn that they command knowledge, experience and ability not available to the prejudiced, the ignorant or the slothful.

Also, having embarked upon the Stotan Way of Life, like the Spartans, one must go through with it to the end. There is no giving up throughout life. The first pre-requisite for a Stotan is tenacity. The next is to understand that his loyalties are towards making the most of the material that is his, to the expansion, or at least the manifestation of the Life Force, and a constant identification of himself with his Life Force through his Way of Life.

To live this Way of Life is hard. It is not for weaklings. It is the Way that is travelled by all the truly great ones. It requires strenuous effort of body and mind. *********************************

The passage above is taken from the Graem Sims biography of Percy Cerutty, entitled “Why Die”. It is one of my favourite reads.

Bustin' Out the Whore Pants for IMLP

As I said in my previous post, I *am* the town whore the way I dress while riding and running lately. And I've been working on my tan seriously in that vein so I look good in the white pants, you know? I still have a small white line on the top of my ass, but oh well, it's the best I could do with the tan shy of laying out naked or going for a fake 'n bake, which I won't do. As you can tell from the frontal shot, though, I've gone pretty low :)

Also, as you can tell, I am ALL LEGS AND ASS! That's what happens when I bike 175+ miles for 5 weeks in a row! Week #6 comin' right up!

The Beat Goes On

I did not ride a bike to my massage on Monday night. When the time rolled around, my legs said FUCK NO, so I drove. I told the girls working on me that I needed every muscle that is involved in swimming, biking, running or lifting worked on, and they got a good laugh out of that.

I swam 3400 meters yesterday, and for some reason (as happens occasionally), I felt compelled to offer swim tips to some guy swimming in my lane. I don't remember what I showed him yesterday, but he asked if I was swimming Wednesday (today), and I said sure.

Well, I really didn't need to swim today, but the weather is just gorgeous, I'm usually up between 4:30-5:00AM and what else am I going to do early on a beautiful day? Swim at the outdoor pool, that's what. Wednesdays are garbage/recycleables day, but I took my sweet time this morning getting things out, since I was only going to swim maybe :45. Also, I woke up a little late--4:45--and I'm taking Thursday off, and am just trying to be a little relaxed.

I knew I didn't need to bike at all today (I'm supposed to not bike or run today), but a little 10-something miles to/from the pool can't hurt, right? While I was dealing with the recycleables, I noticed it was already pretty warm, so I decided to not wear a shirt over my swimsuit for the ride over.

What a beautiful morning! And when I got to the pool, the guy (Kevin) I had seen yesterday was there with his 2 friends, and they said they were done, but I said I had time to show them some stuff, so we did some easy drill work, and then we talked about email, and I asked what they all do and they are all police officers in the area. Of course, my immediate reaction was to think whether I had done anything illegal lately, and other than looking the part of the town whore because I stopped wearing bike shorts and roll my run shorts down as low as I can, I think I'm good with the law.

The 3 guys are all doing a triathlon or two, and I'd be more than happy to help them out with swimming, a training plan, or whatever. I was duly impressed because one of them found my blog with only my first name! Well, an officer should be a good stalker, right? Anyway, I added a link to Lou's blog over in my "peeps I've met" area on top--Trinity Training Group. Man, there's some hardcore stuff going on over there! I could tell Lou is really fit (yeah I notice that stuff when guys are pretty much naked in front of me), and I love hanging with fit people, so I am guessing there are some things he can teach me, too.

I ended up swimming just 1500 meters, which was plenty, said hi to my friend Chuck the slacker who showed up to swim at 8:00 when I was on my way home, and rode home in beautiful weather.

I might do an easy strength workout later today or at least abs/core, since I do need to keep that up even during taper, which I'm almost full in now.

My main man, Aaron Peirsol, set a new WR in the 100 back last night, and that added to my good spirits of late.

I can't think of anything wrong with my life right now except I have a few more big training days (Thursday, Friday and Sunday) to go and then it's all downhill from there! Right about now I am feeling like I really need the taper but also don't want to do it. But this time around I know that as long as I can go and flop around in the outdoor pool every day (which I plan on doing next week), that should keep me feeling like I'm doing something.

Happy training everyone and hope you enjoy your Fourth of July weekend!

The Adrenaline is Flowing

After a full day of rest (my last one was the day after Triple T), I still felt pretty shelled when I got up this morning, in that "I've been training for this Ironman for how long?" sort of way. But it was beautiful outside and cool, and I hoped the outdoor pool would be cool as well.

I got on CF and rode to the pool, and was slightly chilled on the way there, and my legs felt heavy. When I got to the pool and stripped on deck, I moseyed over to a public lane and dipped some toes in. It felt chilly, but in a good way. I figured they had finally turned off the heaters since there was a big swim meet last Friday. Someone claimed it was from the rain, but it's been raining nearly every day for weeks now, and the water was almost hot last week, so I'm going with the heaters being turned off.

I swim much better in cold water despite my (relative) lack of body fat, and I was enjoying the hell out of the swim until when I was about 2100 meters in and this woman who thinks I am her friend swims right into my head and hits me with one of her paddles! I managed to avoid screaming at her, but I did ask what the hell was she doing? She's a good swimmer, and I just couldn't imagine how the hell she ended up slamming into me. She said she was passing someone and thought I was heading to the center of the lane? WTF???? I was right on the lane rope, dear. By the way, not only does this woman think I'm her friend and that I want to talk to her (I don't), she has freaky looking nipples, and I just can't get over it. So now every time I see her, I have this image burned into my brain of her being naked. Cover those things up!

Well, good thing the water was cold, because it erased the knock on the head I had taken just like ice would have, and I kept going, and when I got to 2600 meters, I had to get out and go stand in the hot shower for a few minutes because I was so cold! When I got back in, I finished up another 700 meters and was glad to hit the showers. I heard some other girls from one of the swim teams talking about how cold the water was and their legs cramping and stuff. Mine were, too, so I felt good that I wasn't the only one who thought it was cold. But I am not complaining! I would like it to be that cold all the time! Makes you swim fast!

I rode CF home and the day continued to be beautiful. I suited up to head out and bike about 11:00AM. I decided to ride LGL, just because, well, why the fuck not? Can't hurt me to be on a road bike once a week--I'm very used to aero position on Bitchie. Well, I thought I was tired, but I guess not because I knocked out some really good power for once! That's what a day of rest (on a Sunday, no less) will do for me. And then I ran for :40, and I ran well, and I realized it's time for me to get my head in the game, and I could just tell the switch went on today. Because this is it now--my last big, hard week, and then taper begins. So it's time to start putting myself into the race. I could feel a little extra adrenaline today, and it's good. Maybe that's why the extra caffeine on Saturday was a little too much at the time (I'm going to use it again for this Friday's 100-mile ride).

So I've put in almost 4 hours of training today. On a Monday! Now I'm just trying to decide whether to ride CF to my massage later or not. I think I will. It's not as far away as the pool--maybe 2.5 miles? So I should be able to manage that. Tomorrow, I'll swim another 3300 meter workout and do a short run. I hope the pool is icy cold again!

Oh yeah--I suppose I could list today as a NothingMan, although my transition time between swimming and biking was 3 hours...

Weekly Workout Totals 06/23/2008-06/29/2008

It was still a good week, despite a less than perfect race rehearsal weekend. Although, I did have a good swim on Friday even with a gimp hand and shoulder (both are all better), and I did dial in my watts exactly on Saturday. And I did manage to take a nap both Saturday and Sunday! I'm starting to sleep more now, which is a sign my body needs the rest. Good thing I'm getting a massage tonight!

This is my last big week and then I taper (although I'm already in my run taper). Oddly enough, today I am pretty much doing a NothingMan--swimming 3400 meters this morning, then riding 1:30 and running :40 off the bike at mid-day. The weather is absolutely beautiful, so I'm looking forward to all of it!

Hope you had as good of a week last week as I did!

Weekly Workout Totals	06/23/2008-06/29/2008 This week's totals are sponsored by fatigue. I need some rest!
Swim:	11700 yards (6.64 miles) in 4.05 hours; 21% of weekly workout time; approx. 1418 calories burned Canadian: 10698.48 meters
Bike:	Approx. 173.12 miles in 9.95 hours; 51% of weekly workout time; approx. 4472 calories burned; Total TSS=547 Canadian: 278.61 kilometers
Run:	Approx. 29.54 miles in 4.45 hours; 23% of weekly workout time; approx. 2011 calories burned Canadian: 47.54 kilometers
Strength:	0.94 hours; 5% of weekly workout time; approx. 235 calories burned
All Sports:	Approx. 209.3 miles in 19.39 hours; approx. 8136 calories burned Canadian: 336.84 kilometers
Sleep:	7.86 hours avg./night
Stretching:	1.62 hours. Massage: 2.5 hours

What Happened in Wisconsin

I didn't have high expectations coming up here. Last year, I did a big block of training and then my race rehearsal sucked. This year, I did an even bigger block of training right before this and...my race rehearsal sucked! Only it sucked differently...

I didn't ride the normal course. I did the out and back first from Verona, knowing the winds were supposed to pick up, and that went really well. Absolutely gorgeous day! I started out with the arm warmers, but didn't really need them as it was quite humid to start off and the sun was high in the sky already (I started riding at 6:30AM). When I got to the bike path along Lake Monona (the one you swim in for IMWI), I could tell the lake was really high from all the rain, and I wondered if it had gone over the banks. When I got just past Monona Terrace, I could see that the lake had, indeed, spilled the banks a bit.

I turned around at the bike shop along the lake, and was just clipping in when 2 guys began yelling at me, so I stopped. They asked about some open water swim that was supposed to be happening. I laughed devilishly at them and said, "Do I look like I would know about that?" And they both smiled and said, yeah, I look like I work out a little bit. I asked them which group it was and they said EVOtri. I told them I wasn't part of that and was sorry that maybe their swim was cancelled. I wouldn't have gone swimming in there--my guess is that the bacteria levels are pretty high, but who knows?

Not even a minute later, a guy I met some years ago says hi to me. He thought I didn't remember him, but I remembered his name--Brad. We caught up--he's going on Ironman #3 and I sort of sheepishly told him I was going on #11. I get the impression some people hear that and figure I have absolutely no life (in some respects they are right), but then many athletes only know my "Ironman" persona, so of course, they would think that. Anyway, Brad was riding by himself, and wished me a good ride and I told him I was already 18 miles in because I rode from Verona. I ended up seeing him later in Mt. Horeb.

When I rode back to Verona, the winds had picked up, but I was still riding well and feeling great. My objective for the ride was to be as cheesy as possible, because I know from experience how easy it is to put out watts on this course due to all the hills. I wasn't staring at the Ergomo; I was just telling myself that if I could ride easier I should.

All was well when I got back to Verona, and I had gone sufficiently easy for the first leg. Instead of stopping at Fireman's Park for water, I went to the gas station across the street where I had stopped last year, and the nice lady gave me ice cold water! I showed her my gimp hand, which actually was much better (as I type this it's about 98%).

Now I was going to start the 40-mile loop. As soon as I got into it, I decided I didn't want to ride all the crap, and that I would just do an out and back to Mt. Horeb and maybe a little further. There was pretty much a head wind all the way to Mt. Horeb, and while discouraging, I pressed on. I was pretty proud of myself because I was in the aerobars all the time, and I mean all. I did the climb up into Mt. Horeb in the bars, and this helped to keep my watts down. I had plenty of gears, and I was checking my legs, and starting to feel the fatigue.

I stopped at the Kwik Trip in Mt. Horeb where lots of bikers stop to refuel and ran into Brad and a few other people I know. As I headed out in the reverse direction I had just come, I saw a lone roadie ahead of me. I came up on him and we began chatting. He was a really nice guy, and he asked me if it was OK if I drafted on a ride. I told him I can't in the race, but there were no worries in training, because so what if you can ride faster then? We had sort of a tailwind and worked well together. He had driven in from Lake Mills to ride about 30 miles. He made some smart remark about being an old man and so I asked him how old he was--maybe 30? It's hard to tell as long as person is fit, you know, with the helmet and sunglasses and all. He told me he's 40, and I told him I've got him beat and he couldn't believe it when I told him my age. I told him that yeah, I just try and take care of myself and all.

As Don and I continued riding back to Verona (where he left his car), we saw many, many riders heading into Verona--mostly triathletes. Don asked me if a lot of the women he was seeing were competing, and I figured out what he meant, because, well, frankly, there were a lot of very large women riding. I shared my sentiment on that which is that one should drop weight before doing Ironman because it won't beat up your body as much and besides, biking is all about power to weight ratio. Just the other day, Jamie was telling me (during one of our non-stop jabber sessions) that he wants to know what my CdA is and that we should measure it. Basically, CdA is a measure of how aerodynamic/efficient your position is. The smaller and lower you are on your bars, the better the number you have, and the faster you can go with less watts. I must be pretty good, because I can ride pretty well considering I'm a tiny little Yard Gnome!

I ended up losing Don about 3 miles from Verona as I powered through some rollers. I hope he enjoyed his ride! I went past Fireman's Park and now it was time to decide how I wanted to finish out my ride. I started to backtrack a little bit when I saw 2 guys circling an intersection. I joked that that was a helluva way to get in 100 miles! I turned around and they were still there, and then they asked if I was part of the WIBA group. I told them that I have zero affiliations, but that I knew they were up here riding.

I had just started to notice my stomach not feeling so good. I was using my new Infinit mix, Money Shot, for the first time. When I took the very first sip of it, I could taste the caffeine. How do I know that's what I was tasting? Way back when in college I used to take Vivarin every now and then, and tastes are hard to forget. But the effect felt great, until I about now, and then I realized my stomach and nervous system were not too good with the amount of caffeine. I didn't exactly have the jitters--my stomach was just off, and that combined with the fact that no matter how you cut it, I was operating on a boatload of fatigue, combined to make me feel like complete and total shit. I wanted to cut my ride way short, to the tune of maybe 70 miles. But I knew this was a training ride, and so I could go without nutrition for 30-60 minutes and be fine. I had plenty of water, and I had brought gels with me and a small Payday. So I ate a gel and the PayDay and continued on.

I decided to go back to Mt. Horeb and back and that would be enough for today--giving me about 95 miles. The winds had picked up even more, and I had purposely decided to ride right into them while I felt like shit. I started feeling really sorry for myself and wanting to chuck it right then and there. But I knew this was part of the game, and that laying off the caffeine for awhile would probably fix me right up.

Well, I made it back to Mt. Horeb, and ran into some of the WIBA folks at the Kwik Trip. Some chic made a smart remark about my fake tattoos, and I just didn't have the energy to explain them or myself or anything.

I had hoped the way back to Verona would be as tasty as the first time, but the winds were swirling, as they often do in that area, and I had slowed down a bit. But I made my way back, continuing to stay in the aerobars pretty much the entire time, and when I was just about back to my hotel, it began raining. I had seen some thunderclouds building, and patted myself on the back (virtually) for starting so early.

I felt pretty overheated and thought I'd bag my run, but stupid me I asked if there was a treadmill and they said yes, so I hopped on, but only put in 30 minutes because I felt pretty awful. Note: when I say "awful," I was not suffering--this is all self-imposed, after all, and it could end whenever I said stop, and hey, I wasn't dying or anything! I watched The Weather Channel while on the crappy treadmill, and watched all the warnings and such and also the wind and rain out the window.

I like staying at the Super 8 because there's a McDonald's right next door! I do not eat at McDonald's except for special occasions, like oh, I have been training 20+ hours a week or after an Ironman. I needed food and quick, so after a shower, I walked on over and got 2 cheeseburgers and small fries, and it was good.

I laid around and thought about what had happened, and was glad that I had tried the ultra caffeine now rather than waiting for the race, but when I analyzed everything, I realized it wasn't just that, it was that I was so incredibly worked from all the training I've been doing and I should give myself a break. When I downloaded the power data, I was spot on for how I should have been riding, so I'm just going to chalk it up to being tired.

About 5:00PM I motivated to head to Heiney's in Black Earth for dinner. What a pretty drive! I just love this area, which is why I have no trouble driving 2.5 hours to get here to ride for a day, and I hadn't been to Heiney's in 2 years. I ordered my favorite, Steak Wisconsin (steak with bleu cheese on top), had a couple of Lake Louie Cream Ales, and got some Wundumous Wings (the world's best chicken wings) to go. I couldn't finish my meal there, but I took the leftovers and ate them about an hour later AND the wings!

My car is just about packed, and I'm going to get a breakfast bomb at McDonald's and head home. Weather is gorgeous, and I know once I get home, I'm going to unpack and get back into bed! I need the rest, as I've got one more big week. A day off of everything should do me a world of good!