ALL IN

I'm not unlike many triathletes in that I begin selecting and registering for races and training events well over a year in advance. Time was that every Ironman race filled up within hours of online registration opening (usually the day after the race that just took place), but now there are so many of them that many stay open for months, even close to the race date. This makes me extremely happy, as I went through a bunch of crap this year, and by the time I decided I wanted to do an Ironman in 2015, there were still a few with open spots (I picked Louisville).

I take my planning for the next year 2 zillion steps further, though. After picking my primary race (Louisville is just a required stepping stone to get into Ultraman Hawaii), I scout out all the local organized bike rides and some shorter races, consult with friends (some of whom are twisting my arm to do particular races with them), decide on what fits in the big scheme of things, and usually spend November and December making my grand plan for the coming year.

I finally finished signing up for races on 12/19. Well at least through IM Louisville. There will be some races after that, but nothing I need to worry about at this time, although I am already assembling a list of things I want to do in 2016 in addition to Ultraman Hawaii.

Once I have my races on a calendar, I plan for:

• Days off from work that I need to travel or to rest up for a big weekend
• Haircuts every 5 weeks or so
• Massages every 1-3 weeks
• Miscellaneous life stuff like recurring medical and dental appointments and house/car maintenance

All this goes onto my one huge Excel spreadsheet that has all this information in it since fall of 2007! Although I may need to archive off part of it, as the spreadsheet sucks a bunch of memory now because of all the formulas and such.

Next, I fill in the workouts required to train adequately for the races, review the week to week progression, go back and adjust, and repeat this cycle about 3 times until it all looks "reasonable." I'm a trained actuary, and one of the activities you do when you are doing actuarial stuff is called "reasonableness checks."  I'm glad I was trained in that particular skill, as it has application in many areas of life--not just triathlon planning! I need to look at the data in many ways--each sport individually, each day on its own, week in aggregate, week over week increases in training load, deciding how much to taper for various races, when I should schedule rest days (YES I ACTUALLY DO THAT). This is hyped up version of "stare and compare." After each instance of looking at the data from one viewpoint, I pencil in changes, and put it away until the next day. Because I know that what seems rational one day might appear stupid the next.

When I'm all done, I print out the full calendar version and the individual swim workouts (I have it set up so that I can print them and fold 1-2 weeks worth into a quart-sized baggie to take with to the pool) and bike workouts (which during the winter I keep next to the trainer and in spring-fall I cut them apart and put into my bike jersey or Bento Box).

I am done!

I am almost done doing this same process for a friend that I am coaching in 2015. It's doubly maddening to be doing this for myself and someone else, but that's how I roll.  While I could make up her training along the way, I intend to sit down with her and show her the plan in aggregate so she can plan her life around it, because she's as dedicated to the process as I am, and I want her to be successful. I never liked getting training blocks 4 weeks at a time from a coach--but that's just ME. I like knowing what it's going to be ahead of time. Of course, I can make adjustments along the way depending on how things go, but really every coach has to make an ATP (Annual Training Plan) that accounts for all the races in order to begin sketching out the general plan for where to take the athlete.

While this process can be quite maddening and keep me awake longer than I should be (or in my case, prevent me from sleeping as much as I should since I am an early morning person), I get an incredible sense of joy and accomplishment from the process. A well-built training plan is a thing of beauty to me. It's something I've learned to do (self-taught--no certifications here!), and it's helped me to take a lot of stress off once I actually begin the training cycle.

Now, you might ask, what do I do when shit happens? It depends whether it's small shit or big shit. Most shit is small, and requires minor adjustments at best. Big shit can derail the entire year, and this has happened to me--in 2011, 2012 and 2014. 2011 and 2012 ended up being no-ops (that's a technical term Google it), although I managed to salvage 2014 from July on.

I'm an ON-OFF person. I'm either 100% fully fucking committed to something, or I'm not doing it at all. Some people call this being ALL IN. I'm ALL IN right now for Louisville and Ultraman Hawaii. Given it's a 2-year process, you might think I should just relax for the time being. I don't see it that way. For the process of getting to the outcome is just as (if not more) important as the outcome itself.

It made me a little sad to read this story where the winner of this year's Ultraman Hawaii said, "People who are looking for pure performance, nothing else, should watch the top athletes at IM or Olympic distance races. It is highly unlikely to find athletes of that potential at Ultraman. It is a race for amateurs and more a race to be a part of than to watch it." To me, the statement might make someone think it's no big deal to do Ultraman. But it is. I would not say that anyone who can/has done an Ironman can do it. Physically, perhaps, but mentally it is a whole different animal. You can slack a little and cut corners and still finish your 12-17 hour Ironman, but you can't do that and finish Ultraman. You just need too many miles in your arms and legs just to cross the finish line.

So in the spirit of piling on the mileage on my arms and legs, I'm ALL IN. I will finish out 2014 with some pathetic training totals compared to my prior years (I will write that blog post in a few days once 2014 is over), but the accumulation has begun for Ultraman. I'm done resting. I am already experiencing some big fatigue due to the combination of high intensity workouts and increased weight in my strength training. That is to be expected. I actually enjoy being sore for a few days at a time. I know it will pass, I know that my body will adapt, and I know that I am becoming stronger.

People who know me well know how focused I can become when I'm on one of these missions. I have one more project to complete (finish sewing the dress I will wear in my friend Susan's wedding next April), and then I am not committing to anything else big (in terms of my contribution) for awhile. It will be all I can do to do my day job, do my training, stretch, get massages, recover, keep mentally sharp and hang with my friends who support me and get my passion for this. I will have no time for detractors. I have already eliminated a few of those. This may all appear silly to outsiders, as I know how focus-crazed I can get. It's who I am, I make no apologies. You don't like it, steer clear! If I shatter myself in the process, oh well--I gave it a shot! I honestly think there are people gunning for me to totally destroy myself. Maybe I will. But maybe I won't. The only way to know is to get with the plan!

Bikes are "Done"

 Skull Kingdom in all her glory. She is my Oly+ bike. New this year: SRM, Hed Jet 90's.

My trusty Bitch. She's 14 years old and has done 15 Ironmans. She is now my sprint bike. New this year: she inherited the Zipp 404's from Skull Kingdom (including Power Tap) plus brand new wheel stickers, she inherited the crankset from Skull Kingdom, and went to black bar tape.

Well bikes are never completely done, but they are for now. Except that I will be switching out the bar tape on Skull Kingdom for hot pink in the spring. The above modifications have been in progress for almost 3 months.  It started with finding a really good deal on an SRM. I had an SRM from 2004-2007, then I switched to Ergomo, those died and I got a Powertap when I had Skull Kingdom built in 2010. I've never really liked the Powertap--its readings are jumpy, and I didn't want to get that big Joule head unit. So when I saw I could get a new SRM (and I'll be able to switch out the PC7 for the PC8 in another month or so) for a great price, I acted quickly.

Then I thought, well, if I'm putting an SRM on Skull Kingdom, I can move the Zipp wheels over to Bitch. But then I'd want new wheels for Skull Kingdom. So I decided on the Hed Jet 90's, since I wanted deeper rims.

But then I'd been meaning to get rid of the Elite stickers on the Zipps and get some custom ones made. So I removed the Elite stickers and found a guy on Slowtwitch who makes custom stickers (not just for wheels--he can do helmets, too).  Then I figured that as long as I was going to doctor the Zipps that I may as well get custom ones for the Heds.

So when I ordered the wheels from Hed (over the phone--they are awesome people!), I asked if they could leave off the decals, and they said sure!

Let me backtrack a bit. This all began with me making appointments to get Bitch and Skull Kingdom tuned up, since it had been awhile. That started in October, which is when all this other stuff began falling in line!

So I found myself needing to design wheel stickers while waiting for my Heds to be built. I don't remember when it came to me to just get Crackhead on the Zipps, but it was brilliant! The guy who made the stickers asked me why I wanted that, in the Coke font. His guess was that I just really like Coke! But I explained that Crackhead is my nickname and I gave him a link to this blog. It made sense!  When he delivered me the first mockup (he uses CAD), he showed me the wheels with 3 and 4 Crackheads per side, but he said we could go as high as 6. Well...6 it is! More Crackhead for me! After the guy at my bike shop put them on, he commented on how precise the curvature matched the rims. Well, yeah, that's required for this sort of thing!

Then I had to think about what I wanted on the Heds. I had known for some time that I wanted skulls and flames, to coordinate with the frame. And then I decided I'd like a touch of pink, as pink coordinates well with red, and then I can wear pink kits, too! It's not a requirement that my clothes match the bike at all times, but sometimes it's just better!

The initial mockup from Nick (sticker guy who just does this on the side) was pretty cool, but the skull's teeth were too pointy for my liking. So we fixed that, Nick did round 2, and voila! These stickers would have been ready sooner, but the place where he orders the vinyl sent the wrong pink. But it was OK because my Heds weren't done.

Hed came through on schedule (4 weeks). I figured the wheels were done when I saw the charge pop up on my credit card, but they didn't send me a shipping tracking number. So I called, and they arrived the next day. I was so excited when I took them out of the box! But they were missing the Ti skewers, rim tape and valve extenders. I called right away and emailed to let them know those items weren't in the box, and they shipped them right out and I had them 2 days later.

All the timing of these things was working out well. I kept telling everyone that I was not having a wheel emergency at any point in this process, so minor glitches that came up were no big deal. But I was trying to keep my trips to the bike shop to a minimum. The day I picked up Bitch, I dropped off the Heds for stickering, then last week I took Skull Kingdom with me (and my old Cane Creek wheels which I'm selling), picked up the Heds, and before I left the shop, I had a discussion about tubes, valves and valve extenders. I need to decide how I'm going to manage spares for both bikes so I'm prepared while training and racing.  I'll get all that finalized over the next month or so. Right now, I have motley tubes/extenders, and since I'm a little OCD, I won't be able to live with that for very long.

Oh and La Gazza Ladra (LGL) was also tuned in the process and she got recabled. She's still such a beauty:

 La Gazza Ladra, aka LGL. She's my go to for easy rides and super long hilly rides, so she'll get plenty of use during Ultraman training!

I needed to have the red Nokon cables removed at the recommendation of my LBSG, as they were adversely impacting the shifting. So now she has pretty silver cables! I still love her so much and will ride her in the spring from April through May and when I have easy rides scheduled.

All this was part of my master plan for attacking Ultraman Hawaii in 2016. For that race, I will ride Skull Kingdom with the Hed on the rear and Zipp on the front due to the Hawaiian winds. Won't that look bitchin'?

I can't believe I just wrote an entire post about my bikes. But, as you know, I FUCKING LOVE RIDING MY BIKES!!!

Ch ch ch Changes 2014 Version

Today in Chicago, David Bowie IS opens! I am so excited! There was an article describing the exhibit in this past Sunday's Chicago Tribune that has got me so excited to go, I can't tell you! In case you didn't know, back in my 20's, I was a bit punked out and Bowie was my favorite artist. I even had my hair cut like Ziggy Stardust. Back in those days, I lived in the city, and rollerskated for my exercise--40+ miles a week. I was in good shape from that plus a diet of tall boy Budweisers and many steaks. I kid you not. I also was a workaholic. But I rarely missed my evening skate. I'd skate in the dark if I had to, wearing a Walkman belted to my waist, playing cassette after cassette of Bowie, The Clash, The Police, Devo, etc. Good times!

Anyway, the purpose of this post is to recount some recent changes besides a meltdown earlier this year. In the process of taking some actual complete time off running (really just a few weeks), and then ramping back up slowly, my sciatica has resolved! I can sit in most normal chairs again without my ass hurting. Now in addition to a rest from running, in March I got a new car (I can't thank Mark enough for going with me to test drive and certify something he would approve). It's this Hyundai Veloster:

The color is called Vitamin C. I really like it! My old car was a 1999 Cougar, that I like as well, but it had bucket seats, which drove my sciatica nuts, even with me adding cushions and stuff. One of my new car criteria was NOT BUCKET SEATS! The new steed has lumbar support built in, and while I still get a twinge of the sciatica driving, I've made it on a few 3 hour trips just fine. So I know the new car seat setup is helping.

I've been doing more squats and lunges in the last 2 years then I'd been doing for years. No harm can come of that! This may be why my upper legs and butt have grown a bit. I still comfortably wear size 2 or 3 pants (they are still a bit loose in the waist, yay!). Still, I have some that are closer to a size 0 that are tight. I need to work harder on that.

What else changed? I decided to stop dying my hair blonde. I just decided I didn't want to keep putting chemicals on my head (I get enough from the air, thank you!). It was really odd at first, because I'd forgotten just how dark my hair is, and I wondered how much gray hair I have. Turns out not too much, and I am now used to the dark color and actually like it! But who knows--I may, on a whim, decide to go back to blonde!

As much as I love to cook (when I have the time), I have not been doing much this year. For one, I don't need to eat like I have a tapeworm if I'm not training more than 14 hours per week (although I sort of am again). For two, I dislike washing dishes. Since I'm not riding so much, there are less bottles to wash, and I'm not drinking Endurox daily, so even less bottles, and this all adds up to not generating enough dirty dishes to make it worthwhile to use the dishwasher, so I do them by hand. My kitchen is less messy, too. I have become perfectly OK having some lean protein and a salad for dinner, and despite that I am back in decent shape again, with aging, my metabolism is just not where it once was (that plus the hypothyroidism).

Oh yeah that--the hypothyroidism--I guess it's "fine" for now in terms of being regulated. I have flashes of the "extra perkiness" I had grown accustomed to, aka the Crackheadedness, aka what I was told the other day by a friend was me "living at light speed." Really? Is that what I was doing? That's an interesting way to put it. Hey--it was totally fun!

I have noticed over the last 8 weeks (where I've been at 15+ hours/week) that my metabolism has gone back into near overdrive, which makes me happy, because it means I can (and SHOULD) eat MORE CARBS! Still I am watchful about my carb intake because I would like to drop 2-3 lbs. of fat. Yes, I'm vain that way, yes I know it makes people crazy when I call myself fat, but if I don't care about 2 lbs. then I won't care about 4 and so on. My knees and running will thank me for losing it.

In the midst of my mental turmoil, I am getting rid of possessions a little at a time whenever I am in position to look through stuff and make decisions. So while I thought I'd have my entire house cleared out by now (silly me!), I am at least in the MINDSET of getting it done.

I find that I am excited again about triathlon, and that even planning a few weeks worth of training for short races helps me to get my "fix" of planning leading to achievement. But in starting to feel fit and competent again, I find myself gravitating towards longer stuff. But I may have a solution: a 2-year plan to get to Ultraman Hawaii. I can finish out 2014 without going crazy on training, spend 2015 in a combination of becoming Ironman-fit while also doing a few shorter races, and then begin the big training push (assuming all the prior stuff goes well) during fall/winter 2015. I already know who I want on my crew if they are willing to make the sacrifice. Ultraman is $$$$, and I can't afford to foot the bill for crew (except some of it on the actual race days), and I'd want the crew members to be able to run with me on Day 3. It's a HUGE ask to be on a crew. It's as hard as doing the race!

Anyway, I like the idea that I am looking at a 2-year plan for Ultraman. I think that gives me some more "rest" time, plenty of time to plan for logistics (which all by itself is a huge undertaking), and time to change my mind. It just feels like something I MUST DO. That may be my OCD talking, but really, I was pretty bummed out in 2012 when I didn't do it then. I was OK with "just an Ironman" in 2013, but I never felt well enough prepared for Cozumel. Can a 60 year old Crackhead finish Ultraman Hawaii? We'll see. This could be the journey of a lifetime! So many things could go wrong along the way, but I am prepared for it now, I think. Just as a bad 2005 prepared me for the death of my Mom in 2006 and then Dad in 2007, so their deaths prepared me for the stress I undertook to get ready for Ultraman Canada in 2010, and now I've had another couple of years to grow more, get more in touch with myself, and understand that planning for another significant event at an advanced age will require me to have a ton of patience, compassion for myself and others, and get that mindset back that is my guiding strength.

First we begin small. Step 1 is to get the right foot able to run long distances with no pain (or minimal). That starts tomorrow (new, wider running shoes). Get back on the massage train (I quit for about 5 months and if I am going to "train" again, I need to get back on). Get my metabolic parameters measured so I can dial in my diet. Re-evaluate my strength program and make some changes. Do a 1/2 NothingMan in November. Get some swim coaching. Seek trusted help from a few friends. This time, I'm not doing this by myself!

I truly do welcome any and all takes on the above. I am finding out in dribs and drabs how some people view me, which I really shouldn't give a fuck about; however, I do find it helpful to a point, since I am sure that some of the "truths" about myself do, in fact, shine through transparently to others. So I ask all of you reading this to keep me honest and not be afraid to speak your mind. Instead of just cheering on my Cracktacular antics (because, hey! It's totally fun to watch someone living on the edge!), remember to look for the vulnerable human being inside here who needs people on her side as much as (if not even more than) "regular" people.

The Snake and the Mongoose

Brad is a friend of mine who is all of 26 years old that I met in 2009 when we were both training for IMLP.  Since that time, we both ran Goofy Challenge (some of it together), and I've gone to IMFL and IMWI to support Brad.  Brad and his wife, Morgan, had volunteered to crew for me last year in Ultraman Hawaii, but as we know, that race didn't happen for me.  Brad changed jobs a few months ago and now works for Hershey's (yes, CANDY!), and he told me about that change in February, along with inviting me to come along to IMCOZ.  In March, I said I'd get in touch, but I didn't, because I still wasn't feeling right.

Fast forward to July, and I go and check and see that IMCOZ is still open for registration, I get in touch with Brad about obtaining candy (how selfish of me) since I am starting to train again, but not really for anything in particular, decide we should catch up on the phone, and well, here I am training for IMCOZ and coaching Brad.  Brad will qualify for Kona in another year or so as long as he listens to me!

What does this have to do with a snake and a mongoose?  Well the mongoose thing goes back to when Brad and I were driving to IMLP in 2009 and he saw an animal on the side of the road and said he thought it was a mongoose.  Long story short, we have a running joke about mongooses, I bought a stuffed mongoose for Brad a few years ago, and that animal (recently named Chico) now goes to IM races.  Chico will definitely be going to IMCOZ.

The snake thing is in reference to one of the mongoose's favorite (?) foods--the cobra.  I assessed a penalty to Brad during his NothingMan last Saturday for using an elevator, and he presented me with an appeal: 

So I guess this means *I* am the cobra.

Brad and I text stuff about mongooses back and forth randomly, so today I went to Google News and searched for "mongoose" and I find this link to a review of a new movie called "The Snake and the Mongoose."  One of the lines from the review is: "Snake and Mongoose is a film about the intersection of commerce and passion, about the struggles of chasing a dream, and it's also about a friendship that spans decades."  WTF?  

• Commerce is the candy that seemed to be a trigger for us to get back in touch
• Passion is our mutual passion for IM training and racing
• Chasing a dream well that would be Brad trying to qualify for Kona
• Friendship that spans decades?  Yep!  26 to 56, I'd call that a few decades!
   

This seems like some sort of omen to me.  Or just an extremely happy coincidence!  I plan on going to see the movie when it's in my area.  Should be awesome!  Seems like the universe has some sort of plan here.