Ch ch ch Changes 2014 Version

Today in Chicago, David Bowie IS opens! I am so excited! There was an article describing the exhibit in this past Sunday's Chicago Tribune that has got me so excited to go, I can't tell you! In case you didn't know, back in my 20's, I was a bit punked out and Bowie was my favorite artist. I even had my hair cut like Ziggy Stardust. Back in those days, I lived in the city, and rollerskated for my exercise--40+ miles a week. I was in good shape from that plus a diet of tall boy Budweisers and many steaks. I kid you not. I also was a workaholic. But I rarely missed my evening skate. I'd skate in the dark if I had to, wearing a Walkman belted to my waist, playing cassette after cassette of Bowie, The Clash, The Police, Devo, etc. Good times!

Anyway, the purpose of this post is to recount some recent changes besides a meltdown earlier this year. In the process of taking some actual complete time off running (really just a few weeks), and then ramping back up slowly, my sciatica has resolved! I can sit in most normal chairs again without my ass hurting. Now in addition to a rest from running, in March I got a new car (I can't thank Mark enough for going with me to test drive and certify something he would approve). It's this Hyundai Veloster:

The color is called Vitamin C. I really like it! My old car was a 1999 Cougar, that I like as well, but it had bucket seats, which drove my sciatica nuts, even with me adding cushions and stuff. One of my new car criteria was NOT BUCKET SEATS! The new steed has lumbar support built in, and while I still get a twinge of the sciatica driving, I've made it on a few 3 hour trips just fine. So I know the new car seat setup is helping.

I've been doing more squats and lunges in the last 2 years then I'd been doing for years. No harm can come of that! This may be why my upper legs and butt have grown a bit. I still comfortably wear size 2 or 3 pants (they are still a bit loose in the waist, yay!). Still, I have some that are closer to a size 0 that are tight. I need to work harder on that.

What else changed? I decided to stop dying my hair blonde. I just decided I didn't want to keep putting chemicals on my head (I get enough from the air, thank you!). It was really odd at first, because I'd forgotten just how dark my hair is, and I wondered how much gray hair I have. Turns out not too much, and I am now used to the dark color and actually like it! But who knows--I may, on a whim, decide to go back to blonde!

As much as I love to cook (when I have the time), I have not been doing much this year. For one, I don't need to eat like I have a tapeworm if I'm not training more than 14 hours per week (although I sort of am again). For two, I dislike washing dishes. Since I'm not riding so much, there are less bottles to wash, and I'm not drinking Endurox daily, so even less bottles, and this all adds up to not generating enough dirty dishes to make it worthwhile to use the dishwasher, so I do them by hand. My kitchen is less messy, too. I have become perfectly OK having some lean protein and a salad for dinner, and despite that I am back in decent shape again, with aging, my metabolism is just not where it once was (that plus the hypothyroidism).

Oh yeah that--the hypothyroidism--I guess it's "fine" for now in terms of being regulated. I have flashes of the "extra perkiness" I had grown accustomed to, aka the Crackheadedness, aka what I was told the other day by a friend was me "living at light speed." Really? Is that what I was doing? That's an interesting way to put it. Hey--it was totally fun!

I have noticed over the last 8 weeks (where I've been at 15+ hours/week) that my metabolism has gone back into near overdrive, which makes me happy, because it means I can (and SHOULD) eat MORE CARBS! Still I am watchful about my carb intake because I would like to drop 2-3 lbs. of fat. Yes, I'm vain that way, yes I know it makes people crazy when I call myself fat, but if I don't care about 2 lbs. then I won't care about 4 and so on. My knees and running will thank me for losing it.

In the midst of my mental turmoil, I am getting rid of possessions a little at a time whenever I am in position to look through stuff and make decisions. So while I thought I'd have my entire house cleared out by now (silly me!), I am at least in the MINDSET of getting it done.

I find that I am excited again about triathlon, and that even planning a few weeks worth of training for short races helps me to get my "fix" of planning leading to achievement. But in starting to feel fit and competent again, I find myself gravitating towards longer stuff. But I may have a solution: a 2-year plan to get to Ultraman Hawaii. I can finish out 2014 without going crazy on training, spend 2015 in a combination of becoming Ironman-fit while also doing a few shorter races, and then begin the big training push (assuming all the prior stuff goes well) during fall/winter 2015. I already know who I want on my crew if they are willing to make the sacrifice. Ultraman is $$$$, and I can't afford to foot the bill for crew (except some of it on the actual race days), and I'd want the crew members to be able to run with me on Day 3. It's a HUGE ask to be on a crew. It's as hard as doing the race!

Anyway, I like the idea that I am looking at a 2-year plan for Ultraman. I think that gives me some more "rest" time, plenty of time to plan for logistics (which all by itself is a huge undertaking), and time to change my mind. It just feels like something I MUST DO. That may be my OCD talking, but really, I was pretty bummed out in 2012 when I didn't do it then. I was OK with "just an Ironman" in 2013, but I never felt well enough prepared for Cozumel. Can a 60 year old Crackhead finish Ultraman Hawaii? We'll see. This could be the journey of a lifetime! So many things could go wrong along the way, but I am prepared for it now, I think. Just as a bad 2005 prepared me for the death of my Mom in 2006 and then Dad in 2007, so their deaths prepared me for the stress I undertook to get ready for Ultraman Canada in 2010, and now I've had another couple of years to grow more, get more in touch with myself, and understand that planning for another significant event at an advanced age will require me to have a ton of patience, compassion for myself and others, and get that mindset back that is my guiding strength.

First we begin small. Step 1 is to get the right foot able to run long distances with no pain (or minimal). That starts tomorrow (new, wider running shoes). Get back on the massage train (I quit for about 5 months and if I am going to "train" again, I need to get back on). Get my metabolic parameters measured so I can dial in my diet. Re-evaluate my strength program and make some changes. Do a 1/2 NothingMan in November. Get some swim coaching. Seek trusted help from a few friends. This time, I'm not doing this by myself!

I truly do welcome any and all takes on the above. I am finding out in dribs and drabs how some people view me, which I really shouldn't give a fuck about; however, I do find it helpful to a point, since I am sure that some of the "truths" about myself do, in fact, shine through transparently to others. So I ask all of you reading this to keep me honest and not be afraid to speak your mind. Instead of just cheering on my Cracktacular antics (because, hey! It's totally fun to watch someone living on the edge!), remember to look for the vulnerable human being inside here who needs people on her side as much as (if not even more than) "regular" people.