Forgetting and Remembering

I am re-reading "The Way of the Peaceful Warrior." I can't remember exactly when I read it the first time, but it's clear to me that I am getting much more out of it this time. Does that mean I have progressed on my own journey to enlightenment? I hope so. I feel like my own journey was derailed from 2006 until about a month ago when I was able to close my Dad's estate. In that span of time, my Mom died, my Dad died, I remodeled most of my house, I made some colossal romantic relationship errors, I lost relationships with a few of my siblings, and I decided to do an Ultraman. Oh yeah there were 7 Ironmans in there, too.

I have been feeling off track for a few months, even though I've had the bright spots of achieving some huge training milestones and good race results. I have felt a jumble of emotions, with the biggest one being a fear that I somehow am screwing up my life while trying to train according to my own (super high) expectations. And because of that fear, I have slipped into a bad state of mind where I am spending too much time on the past and the future, and not enough on the NOW.

So picking up that book is one of the things that is helping me to reset myself. I was finally able to sit down with my ATP (Annual Training Plan) and look at it and think that it is a great--no make that FUCKING GREAT blueprint for training for an Ultraman for someone like me. Back last September-October, I mapped out some key training weekends that will be coming soon that should be great. But the difference now is that I have X'ed off some weeks for recovery, knowing that at the level of training I am trying to accomplish, that they will be highly needed. And I decided that instead of trying to rewrite the whole future NOW, that I can take it one week at a time. What a novel concept! That is not something I've ever had to do, but now I'm cool with it. So even though I planned all my time off from work for special training events, those things will still stick, it's the before and after that might change a bit.

In terms of my running issues, I finally relaxed and told myself, "Sheila, you KNOW how to find and fix this, so just do it!" And so on Sunday evening, I did just that. I spent some quality time with my trigger point books, located the likely culprits, and then on Monday I began working on myself, and I think I have almost fixed everything! Now, I still need to get acclimated to the hills around my house, but at least now I know that some stuff just got out of whack in my back, and I was on the wrong track before, but now I am doing the right things.

I am doing my first recovery week this week--but I am letting it be what it will be, in other words, if I end up doing a bit more, that's OK, and if it's less, that's OK, too. The prime objective is to get back to 100% running with no pain issues.

Yesterday I swam 4000 yards--the intent was to just swim an hour, since it's supposed to be a recovery week, but I warmed up more than the workout called for and then I did the full workout and that was that. It was great in that 4000 felt like NOTHING! And then I tried out my running legs, after first jumping rope for 10'. The jump rope is an attempt to prod my back into rebalancing itself. It's hard to jump rope if your body is all floppy or twisted to one side, and I was doing it back last fall when doing tons of running, so I figured why not? And then I ran, and while I didn't feel completely aligned, I enjoyed the run with minimal pain in my glutes/hamstrings/adductors.

This morning I ran, and it was only 30 out, and I worked on a few muscles before heading out (I jumped rope first, too, which was a great warmup), and had another pretty good run, although I could say really good, since post-run I did not feel any lingering glute issues. So it looks like I have identified the culprit muscles (if you are interested, it is trigger points in my iliocostalis lumborum referring pain to my glutes).

I also biked outside today on LGL! What fun! Although it wasn't warm enough for shorts, it was pleasant enough, and even though I didn't try and do any intervals, I still held good power. I realize I have a lot of work to get all my hill strength back, but I have to say that's the strongest I've felt out the door in years. So I guess all the time I spent indoors on the trainer being miserable were worth it. I definitely needed to get outside, where I use way more of my body while biking than while sitting on the trainer. I still love LGL--she is light and nimble.

Another thing I picked up from "Warrior" is that I could do better on my diet. Just like when one is trying to kick any bad habit, one needs to be ready for it. And while I rarely indulge in fast food, I could stand to eliminate some more processed foods from my daily fare. I do like the convenience of Lean Cuisine for lunch, and in a sea of choices, it certainly isn't the worst, but it does contain more of some stuff that I don't need (sugar for one), and so I will try and gradually wean myself off, provided I can substitute with something just about as quick. In my world, whatever time I can save is precious. I need to cut back on sugar PERIOD. Not in my training nutrition--outside it. Sugar in the coffee, sugar in the jam, sugar in the Lean Cuisine, and then of course, I want a handful of jelly beans or other pure sugar candy late at night. I am also experimenting with less starches (rice/pasta) in favor of more veggies, but it's easy to do that in a light training week, so we'll see how it goes. Coffee and beer are not on the list to remove!

Mostly I am working on quieting my mind down when I'm not training. You'd think that with the increased training I've been doing, which is an area where I certainly am quite able to quiet my mind (just like the guy in "Warrior"), that I would be enjoying more peacefulness, but it hasn't worked out that way. For one thing, when I'm on the trainer, there is pen and paper on a stool next to it, and I always end up making lists. Can't do that while riding outdoors!

And then there has been those long swims. Last Friday was one of those times where it wasn't really that bad to do it, and then I felt pretty good the rest of the day, so maybe my "hatred" of those is that I am thinking too much about the future and worrying about whether I am doing enough (or too much, as some people have counseled). But there is something to really being used to swimming so long, and I think I am finally there! It has taken 20 weeks. Is that a reasonable amount of time? I think so. Considering my long swims have been about double a "normal" workout for IM training, I am good with that. Try doubling your training in a sport and see how long it takes for it to feel "normal!" Now that I'm acclimated, I go into a truly periodized long swim pattern, which is critical since my bike volume is about to explode!

Maybe all of this has to do with the improving weather, but maybe not. Sometimes I just find that I need to forget some stuff and remember some other stuff because at the end of the day, I KNOW the answers are within.