Rolling with the Punches

I know that in the big scheme of things that I have very few life issues to deal with. I am not married and don't have that sort of relationship to maintain. I don't have children and all the responsibility they entail. So when I experience my own life stress, I tend to downplay how much it is affecting me, because I think that I should be able to "deal," given my generally easy life.

Now this is not to say that I don't have good coping mechanisms--I believe I do, and I cultivate resiliency on a daily basis. It's funny that exercise is spoken of as a stress reliever--but when you do as much as I do (and as much as many of you who read this blog do), there comes a point when the exercise has to go.

If you were here reading about a year ago, you saw me continue to train like crazy even while my mom was hospitalized and her condition worsened. Even the week of her death, I managed to bang out my heaviest training week in preparation for Ironman Brazil. On the plus side, though, I didn't work that entire week, so there was a sort of balancing act going on. I can usually handle life stress plus exercise; life stress plus work stress plus lots of exercise not so much.

And so that is what happened to me this week (and it gets even better--keep reading!). I got a new boss a week ago Friday. That was to the good. Then the almost old boss gets on my case about why am I working so many hours, as if to tell me that I shouldn't want to create a quality product (since nobody else was putting in the hours). Well (language) fuck me in the ass for wanting to do a good job. Then she (the almost ex-boss) instructs a coworker of mine to do the dirty work for her (who is also too clueless to understand what I am doing) by chewing me out in front of another colleague. This went down on Thursday.

I already hadn't been getting adequate sleep for 2-3 weeks. This past Tuesday, I got on my bike, and after about 1/2 hour, decided it just wasn't going to happen. On Wednesday, I skipped 2 workouts and decided that as long as I was going down, I may as well go down in style, so I had a few too many beers (3) and ate a bunch of chips as part of my dinner. This is not something I normally do, but I figured as long as I was temporarily a workaholic and skipping workouts that I may as well see how the other half lives. I do not like it!

Later in the day on Thursday, I had a talk with my new boss, and we agreed that if I was at a good stopping point for the week that I didn't need to work on Friday! Yippee. That is something the soon-to-be-ex-boss would never have done. So I looked forward to yesterday.

The day started out promising enough. I had a great swim, in cool, clean water (a direct result of the chat I had with the Aquatic Director on Tuesday). I went to Starbucks and bought 2.5 pounds of great beans with a gift card I got for Christmas. I contacted a few friends. I ordered FOUR more Splish swimsuits--I wrote in my order comments that I am addicted to their product. I ordered a new battery for my cellphone (I get a discount through work, which is nice). I did a little housecleaning. I guess I was catching up for my last 3 weeks gone badly.

I decided to get in a :30 run, since I had skipped Wednesday's track workout, and I was going to run outdoors. I had to call a customer at 2PM, and that call lasted longer than I had wanted it to (and I hadn't yet eaten lunch), but I controlled the situation (unhappy customer, part of my job), and we ended up on a good note. I checked my email, and I had received something about this project I'm working on from someone who, frankly, is a bit of a loose cannon at times. I wrote very detailed specifications about file manipulations, and there was extra data on a transaction record, and I had told him about it. From the tone of the email (which as you all know, you cannot read into, but it's natural to do it anyway), he was telling me I had written poor instructions. Rather than continue on in accusatory email, I picked up the phone and called him. We straightened things out, I think, but I still have concerns that he just goes off and does stuff when it's not necessary.

So now it's 3:30 and I still haven't eaten lunch and I go to run outdoors, because it's about 30 degrees, and I haven't run outside in awhile. I can tell that I am still stressed out, because of how the run feels to me, and my first mile was slower than I expected. But that's OK, I was just running for frequency. About 1.75 or so miles out, I turn around to head home, and thankfully the winter wind is now at my back. I'm at the 1 mile from home mark and out of the corner of my right eye I see 2 young boys (8-10 years old) walking 2 small dogs on the sidewalk (I'm on the road). No big deal, right? Nope. One of the dogs gets angry, the kid loses the leash, and the thing runs up and tries to grab my hand to bite. So I let loose of my glove (my hand is more important) and the thing bites me in the leg, all the while I am screaming at the kid to get the dog under control. It was an old beagle. I ask the kid for his phone number (because I am not going to chase him home with that angry dog), and he lies to me (as the police later verified), and I run home, loaded with adrenaline coursing through my body. I at least drank some Endurox R4, called the police to file a police report, and then I had to go to the ER to get a tetanus shot and antibiotics. I have not eaten since 10AM at this point, so I took a bar and a bottle of water with me so I didn't pass out from hypoglycemia. I was there 3 hours, so the rest of my "restful" day was not so much. On my way to the ER, I parked and walked a bit near where I was bit, and I think I know where the dog lives. Trust me, I will figure it out, and Nick, the nice policeman, said to give him a call if I can identify the house where the dog lives. I'm out $50 for the ER visit and another probably $25 for the drugs. I am also going to tell them to pay for my $80 running tights which are now ruined.

And then this morning my neighbor wakes me up at 3AM with the stereo blaring, which is why I'm now awake and writing, as once I woke up, my brain just started replaying all the events of the week. I figure I'll somehow make it through some level of workouts today, and then pass out and be raring to go for my race tomorrow. My left arm hurts where the nurse gave me the tetanus shot (I declined on having it in my ass because I am on my bike today), my right leg hurts where I was bit by the dog, I did not get any sleep last night, I am probably behind on my nutrition for the day, and I have a 2:30 workout to do and groceries to buy.

But wait, there's more--this afternoon we are under a winter storm watch, so I am crossing my fingers that it's not so bad early tomorrow when I'm driving to my race.

On the plus side, I am getting a lot of life crap over with in a few weeks. At the end of the day, I am still very happy about my new boss--he's a straight up guy (ex-Navy), and I already feel like I can say anything to him. And he's a CHUCK NORRIS fan! What's not to like about that? And I know that I am going to get back on my sleeping and nutrition.

I know that I am a person that is challenging to manage and relate to--I have exceedingly high expectations not only of myself but of others--but I also deliver, and I deliver well, and I deliver quickly and honestly. But more and more, I am coming to the conclusion that in business and in many areas of life, what the people want is mediocrity. I am not that. I will not be that, I will not become that, I will not stoop to the level of not having goals, not wanting to make a contribution, not becoming as knowledgeable as I can about things that matter to me and the rest of the world, not wanting to stand out and shine, not wanting to excel, not wanting to be my very best as often as possible. I will not be the person who learns nothing, knows nothing, says nothing, does nothing, acts randomly, cultivates excuses and coasts through life. Others may not like me for demanding so much of them, but in the end they like themselves better because of it. Why? Because that's how we become better people. By seeking new challenges and rising up to meet them. I cherish and will defend to the death friends and relationships (business and personal) that challenge me in ways that force me to learn and grow; otherwise, I mentally toss them aside as mere chaff. Harsh, you may say, but nobody ever became great by submersing themselves in mediocrity. When I find myself surrounded by mediocrity and piss-poor standards, I make my own challenges and raise the bar. Some would accuse me of being a troublemaker or malcontent. Fine. Keep living in your vacuum of consciousness and world of inertia. Not me. Not today. Not ever.