All Recovered--Full Steam Ahead

It's now 2 weeks since Tour of Sufferlandria ended, and I feel 100% recovered from that as well as from my little race a week ago. I could tell yesterday while biking and hitting the target wattages, and then I had a great 13.1 mile run this morning. Of course, it helped that I haven't needed to shovel any snow for 2 weeks! That makes a huge difference, as I don't cut back regular training except for strength due to snow.

I was shocked to check my training spreadsheet and see that my average training hours since 1/1/2015 are over 17. WTF??? I guess shoveling and a little extra swimming make a big difference. My biking hours are right on target.

I've needed to adjust my strength training for recovery purposes, after realizing I was overly optimistic about increasing my sets and reps the last few weeks. On the plus side, though, I'm staying at a higher weight across the board, and it feels like I'm well adapted to it. So I think that after my 1/2 Ironman in March, I still have some play in the strength training to up the sets and reps. Especially since my Ironman isn't until October, which is still a long ways off. I typically go into maintenance mode 4 months out from an IM, which means I have until June to continue building strength! That will be perfect, because June is when all hell breaks loose in my training.

It's been awhile since I've done an IM at the back end of summer (except for Cozumel which was an aberration), meaning I have all of glorious summer to bike long and enjoy the fucking hell out of training outdoors.

Meanwhile, it's fucking cold in Chicago, but I am going to Florida in March and Colorado/Vegas in April, so those trips will get me some sunshine in anticipation of summer, which I love where I live most of the time. I don't like it too hot, but I don't care if summer is cool, even though it drives couch potatoes nuts--they complain that it's not hot enough. I challenge them to go ride for 5-6 hours when it's 85+ out. Not my idea of a good time!

I got a very nice non-verbal compliment from a meathead after I finished my long run on the treadmill at my Y today. He'd gone up and down the ramp between the machines and the free weights several times--laced with tattoos all over his arms and chest. I just kept running. When I finished, I wiped down the treadmill, gathered up my bottles and headed for the door (to go upstairs to swim). He nodded as I left, indicating he'd been "observing" me. It's pretty obvious, I think, that I lift, as I'm not skinny and you can pretty much see the cuts in my upper body, including abs, and pretty developed quads, glutes and calves. I.e., I have a big ass ;) But it's a working ass, much like this one:

I am going to jimmy my training this coming week so I can do better in my race next Sunday. I should be able to be in the top 10 females overall. I wasn't a week ago because I trained so much the day before, but I can fix that, and also I need to do a better warmup. I'm looking forward to going 120% and puking my guts out at the end. There are some other subtle changes I will make, but they are a secret ;)


I'm still waiting for the higher dose of Synthroid to kick in, but meanwhile, I'm being a little more attentive to my diet (QUIT EATING FUCKING JELLY BEANS EVERY DAY), and some fat is coming off my midsection. I know this because of the stares I receive when I am running at my Y. I am thinking that I actually have increased the muscle mass in my legs and ass in the last 3 years, as I've been doing a shit ton more squats and lunges than I ever used to do. All good, since guess what? RUNNING AND BIKING BENEFIT FROM A STRONG ASS AND LEGS. I need to build and keep muscle mass if I'm going to do another fucking Ultraman anyway. Even though I'm training like a maniac already this year, it is only going to get worse, and there will come a point when it becomes difficult for me to stuff down enough calories to maintain where I'm at right now.

So, in summary, it's FULL FUCKING STEAM AHEAD for 2015. I intend to crush this year and anything that gets in my way. I realize that sounds somewhat arrogant, but I work my ass off. I do this because I love it, because I love how my body and mind feel (hence the title of the blog) while I do it, and I enjoy being a shining example of what someone my age can do. It's just my thang.

Winning Makes Me Happy!

I don't care what anyone thinks--winning my AG in a race makes me happy!

Yesterday was my first race of 2015--a supersprint indoor triathlon, where you swim 10', bike 20' and run 15' on indoor track. In years past, I have won my AG for the series (at one time there were 4 races all 2 weeks apart; now there are only 3) 4 times. This year, I couldn't make the first race because I was starting the Tour of Sufferlandria, but I registered for the 2nd and 3rd races.

I have never done any semblance of a taper for these things because why would I? But I can recall that in prior years, I wasn't training as much this soon in the year. Why am I training so much now? Because I have a 1/2 Ironman in 6 weeks, and I don't want to suck!

Let me back up to the beginning of last week. I had just finished Tour of Sufferlandria, and on Monday I was completely and thoroughly shagged. One of the data points I keep in my massive training spreadsheet is a rolling 7-day training total. As of last Monday, I was at 19 hours. All I did on Monday was shovel snow for an hour (recall Chicago had its 5th biggest snowstorm the day before--I got 19.1" at my house!).

Since I didn't know if I'd even be able to finish Tour of Sufferlandria, the training I planned for last week was, shall we say, a "tad" aggressive. When it came time for me to ride on Tuesday, I was like FUCK THIS WORKOUT and I shortened it and had to go much easier than planned. Which was fine. I always need to respect the recovery process despite what training I've planned, and my bike legs just weren't recovered. Plus I had run 30' and swum 3000 in the morning before I biked, so that added to the fatigue. At the end of Tuesday, my rolling 7-day total was back up to 20 hours.

On Wednesday, I shoveled over an hour (we got another 2-3" overnight), then went and swam 3000 and ran for an hour, including some track intervals just for fun. I was surprised that my run legs weren't kaput. Rolling 7-day total still at 20 hours.

On Thursday, I figured I should get back on my strength training, so I got in about an hour of that, then hit the bike, and again felt like my bike legs weren't back yet, so I held down the time and intensity a bit, but my rolling 7-day total stayed at 20 hours.

On Friday, I finished my strength training for the week, about 45', then swam 3200 (that before work), and later I ran 40', pretty easy. Yay--rolling 7-day total finally dropped to 19.4!

On Saturday, I was thinking how should I adjust things if I expect to race decently, then I decided I didn't really care since eye on the prize--I'm training for a 1/2 Ironman. But in the back of my mind I'm thinking I still want to win the stupid race. In the end, I cut back my scheduled 2:45 ride to 2:40, and my scheduled :30 brick run to :25. Some reduction, huh? And my bike intensity was still not there, but I didn't really expect it to be. Rolling 7-day total now down to 19.1. Yay! After I finished working out, I ate lunch, stretched, bought groceries, and then gave myself the gift of laying around the rest of the day in the hopes I would gain some recovery for a race the next day.

When I woke up yesterday, I immediately felt nervous. When I am nervous, my stomach does flip-flips. This goes all the way back to childhood. I had slept well, and my legs didn't feel bad. Then I had to decide how much warmup for the race to do. In retrospect, I should have done more biking, but I'll fix that in 2 weeks.

At home, I ran 5', biked 5', ran 5', biked 5' and ran 5'. Most of that was fairly easy, with a few accelerations in the last 10'. I started in on a Coke, that I would finish on my drive to the club. After I put my crap into a locker, I went and scoped out the bikes. They were different than the ones I'd used the last time I did this series, which was 3 years ago (and I won my AG for the series that year). So I got on the one spare, which really wasn't a spare--someone had been a no show. Thank God I was able to try out one of the bikes, because stationary bikes are all geared differently, and the key to winning these races is ALL ABOUT THE BIKE! And I am ALL ABOUT THE BIKE! So I gauged what I should shoot for in the race. Then I went upstairs to the indoor track and ran an easy 1/4 mile, then another 1/3 mile. I could tell my run legs weren't going to be great, but whatever, right?

Then I just hung out until it was time for me to start. My massage therapist has students from his school at these races, so I availed myself of one of them to just work on my upper back, since it was gnarly from Friday's swim with paddles. She was like we're not supposed to work on anyone until after they race, but Mike came over and told her it was OK that I know what I'm doing. That felt so good!

My start time was 10:05. A guy I know who was the announcer while I biked was on deck and numbered me up and drew a shark fin on my calf. He said he wanted to do some art on me, so I asked for the shark fin. I got in the water, and it was pleasantly cool--I'm guessing 82 or 83. My home pool is always too warm--usually 85. So I was grateful for the cool water. I swam an easy 200, and again, I could tell I was still pretty well fatigued from the past weeks of training, but whatever, right? At least I got my own swim lane!

My volunteer dude (who follows you around and tallies your laps and mileage) was Walt. A nice man, who plays tennis as his primary sport. He was a pretty quiet man, but smiley, and I appreciated that. I tend to joke a lot when I am racing--it helps me to calm my nerves. With my cumulative fatigue, I decided I would just swim steady and not try and punch it. I felt great, felt like my stroke was the best ever, and didn't feel like my heart was going to jump out of my chest as I exited the water.

In years past, I'd wear a 2-piece bikini to swim in and keep the top on and just change into bike shorts, but this year I've been feeling flabby and that I wouldn't look good enough in a bikini, so I wore a one-piece suit, my lucky suit:

The ladies in the locker room were all commenting on my cute suit. Until I stripped it off and then warned everyone I was going to start swearing pretty fast while I put on my bike shorts. Some of the ladies were watching me strip or something, and someone commented on how great my abs look. I shrugged it off, saying that I was a little fat, and one of them said she hadn't been as small as me since she was 13, and someone else said NEVER. It's all relative, right?

I managed to get my CwX tri shorts over my fat ass, got my socks and shoes on (I put talcum powder into my socks just like in longer races because it dries up the excess water in a flash), and headed out to the bike. I had Lane 1 in the swim, but Bike 2. WTF, right?

I was ready to suffer on the bike. I figured this couldn't be as hard as the shit I'd done the prior week, and I felt VERY well prepared. There was a guy in my wave that had his name on his tri suit, so I figured he was a player, and I was right. There was another young man that also looked to be quite fast, and I was right about him, too. But I was the fastest female biker in my wave, and also the oldest. I tested out my "system" for achieving maximal bike distance, and I know I can go faster in the next race. I just love crushing people on the bike! Especially people younger than me! After I finished, I threw my towel on the floor and laid on it for a few seconds. I figured my run was going to suck, but them's the breaks sometimes, right?

I went upstairs to the track and jogged around once. I decided I wasn't going to look at my watch, and I was just going to try and run steady, which is what I did. There was a girl in front of me for about 4 laps that I figured was going to crap out, and I did pass her. The speedy young dudes were just flying. Since it's been a long time since I've gone so totally anaerobic like I did on the bike, I was pretty sure I was going to puke my guts out when I finished. It was all I could do to not slow down on the run. I'm not happy with my run, but I've learned that for me to run effectively, I DO actually need a taper--swimming and biking not so much!

I managed to hang on and not slow down, and I did puke (it was all water) in a bucket, and it felt good! At least I knew that I had gone as hard as I could on the day! First order of post-race business was to go and get a massage. They had pizza, fruit, water, Gatorade, sandwiches and energy bars for us. I longingly looked at the pizza, which I couldn't have, because I still had to run another hour. But I ate 1/2 banana and grabbed some water, then went and got an awesome leg massage.

I had forgotten that at this club they don't let you use the treadmills because they are inside the track and don't want people in there. So I decided that since I was going to run real easy anyway, that I'd do some of it on elliptical. I did 15' on there while one of the waves was going. It was way more motivating to do that than just on my own. I hate elliptical. The other people on the machines were giving me weird looks because they could see I'd already raced because of my sweat and the numbers on me. I was still working harder than they were!

After that wave finished, I went and ran 1/2 mile on the track real easy, and could tell I was thoroughly shagged, but I still had more running to do. I saw another racer on a treadmill, and I figured if he could do it, then I should be able to. I asked someone who works at the club, told him I promised I wouldn't die, and he said it was OK. It was really cool to be on the treadmill with the music blaring (they have awesome DJs at these events) and people literally running circles around me! It made the suckage of running 40' on the treadmill not so bad.

But then I was FUCKING DONE! I went back downstairs with one thing in mind: PIZZA! I don't eat pizza very often, but this was well deserved. I think I inhaled the first piece of sausage, then they laid out some fresh ones that were pepperoni, and I ate 2 slices of that. I drank another bottle of water, then went and got my 3rd massage of the day! My legs were a bit more gnarly than immediately post-race because I'd run more, so it really helped to get another massage.

Then, of course, I had to go and check results. While there was at least 1 more woman in my AG that wasn't yet posted, I'm pretty sure I won. I actually placed pretty well in the overall rankings, too, for an old lady.

For the next race in 2 weeks, I am going to shuffle my bike training so I don't do 3:30 the day before! Even though I might still win my AG after that, I want to have a good run, and so I will limit my biking to 2 hours the day before, and we'll see how it goes.

I was so shagged yesterday after I got home that I immediately changed into pajamas (2:30!), and alternated laying in bed watching TV and/or reading with eating and drinking beer. This morning, as soon as I woke up, I thought, "I fucking won that race yesterday!" and got the biggest grin on my face. I know it's not much of a race, but still, it felt good to do that on top of all the training I've been doing, and it was a great way to kick off the 2015 racing season. I did do a happy dance in my living room. Now I have to keep up the momentum and not burn myself out, as my A-race, Ironman Louisville, is still 8 months out.

Oh--I had my lungs checked out and they are FINE! The tech at the hospital agreed with me that because I'd had my house all sealed up that my allergies had flared, and possibly I had an infection that the steroids helped clear up. I told him that usually after a really hard effort I have a coughing fit, and since I've been regularly using the albuterol before workouts that doesn't happen so much. I just realized that even though I puked after the race yesterday that I didn't have a coughing fit!

I also had my yearly mammogram, and this time it was 100% normal without a follow-on diagnostic, so that made me happy, too. Now I am just waiting to see the higher dose of Synthroid kick in (I don't think it's quite there yet), and then I will see if I feel even better. I decided to stop taking the CoQ10, because I think it's contributing to my lessened sleep and/or weight gain, so we'll see how that experiment goes.

So all in all, the physical systems are in good shape, I'm training like a maniac and WINNING! I couldn't be happier today, even though I am so tired it's crazy! But today is a rest day, unless I decide to try a short swim (which I think would be helpful). And I am HUNGRY!

LIFE IS OUTSTANDING!

Finishing 2015 Tour of Sufferlandria plus 5th Biggest Snowstorm = Much Awesome!

There it is. Everything I did this week! It was pretty epic to end the TofS with a snowstorm (the 5th biggest recorded in the Chicago area--officially 19.1" in my town!), and I even managed to shovel yesterday (before and after riding). I keep track of shoveling as strength, because that's what it is. It doesn't include time using the snow blower--just shoveling by hand. The calories burned are approximations, but probably not too far off from reality.

I felt so much better prepared for this year's TofS than last year. Last year, I tried to do Sufferfest videos on Tuesdays and Thursdays in the lead up, which I now realize wasn't enough recovery in between those rides, considering everything else I was doing. This year, I did a Sufferfest video on Tuesday and Saturday as part of my regularly scheduled workouts, and I typically added on a long warmup.

This year, I also have been in strength building mode for the last 6 weeks, and I think that made a huge difference in my ability to complete this. Even though there are no studies to show that strength training has a lick of impact on swim/bike/run, my N=1 experiment has always shown otherwise. I mean, what is the difference between a really hard bike ride and a bazillion squats? My legs can't tell.

I think it also helped to have some close friends doing this, too. Peer pressure never hurt anyone! Plus I had something to prove--I've done all sorts of crazy shit, and it was time for me to do something I'd never done before. Fuck--9 straight days on a bike, all on a trainer!

Finally, I can attribute my success at finishing, in part, due to drinking Infinit during every ride. The rides were all pretty intense, and Gatorade just wouldn't have cut it. Plus, all my Infinit mixes (I have 3 or 4 different custom formulas) have caffeine in them. I simply could not have done all this training without caffeine!

What I am really proud of here is that there were FOUR DAYS this week where I swam, biked and ran! Should I count them as NothingMans? LOL. I think it actually helped with the way I scheduled things to swim (and I did the main sets on Monday and Wednesday with paddles and those were the only scheduled swims!). But I knew that all the running had to be super easy. In fact, all the running was technically optional, but I found that holding the intensity to Zone 1 (actually low Zone 1) was perfect, and on 2 of the 4 S/B/R days I ran right before I biked, so my legs were nice and warmed up.

I did not do the Tour of Sufferlandria using Trainer Road, so I am not eligible for any prizes. That's OK, because I bought myself my own prize:

Actually, I ordered 2 of them ;) I do have a bar that requires glassware from time to time! I already had the official Sufferfest shirt:

So how do I feel today? Rightfully shagged. But not from the biking--it's from the 4+ hours I spent moving snow yesterday. And there is more to go! I was supposed to swim this morning, but I just don't feel like going out in the blowing snow to move it, and I am sure my street is a mess still. I could walk, but my snow boots make my right foot hurt, so that's out of the question. I may or may not swim later today. I have a :30 easy run scheduled, and I'm pretty sure I can do that. Or take a nap! Or both!

Life is good!

Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy!

Sometimes I wake up and pinch myself because there are so many good things in my life. Today is one of those days.

Ostensibly, I should feel like crap. Today is Day 6 of the Tour of Sufferlandria. From Monday-Wednesday this week, I've already put in 8 hours of training. What I've needed to do is eat like a champion to keep up with this. My legs are alternating between feeling like concrete and "not too bad." Daily stretching and trigger point work helps with that. Swimming seems to help, too. I don't have a swim scheduled for today, but may go anyway just for an easy 1500. It seems that running super easy is helping, too. Finally, caffeine. Yesterday morning I felt like I feel during a 20+ hour Ironman training week (which isn't that far off--13 weeks!) at some point where I would rather not work out but know that I can get through it. I debated whether to skip the swim, and decided what the hell, let's swim, but let's drink Coke. So I drank a Coke (in a water bottle) while I swam, and swam like a champ. The workout had a really long warmup and then 15 50's alternating speed with easy. A short and sweet workout. I nailed the 50's--and I even used paddles. Then I ran :15 on the treadmill super easy, then headed to the track and did a bunch of running drills alternating with fast laps. It was fun to zip around the track, since I'd been doing solid track workouts for 8 weeks. Despite having drunk Coke, after a few hours of work I went down for a short nap. It seems my pattern of working out some early, working super early a few hours, then a nap is good for me, although I don't know how much longer I can keep it up. I have never napped so much in my life! I am fortunate to work at home and be able to manipulate my schedule.

I ate 4 meals yesterday. First up was my usual banana/wheat germ muffin and hardboiled egg for breakfast. Then I swam and drank Coke during that and a few sips of Gatorade while I ran. Then I drank Endurox R4 and had a toasted, buttered English muffin with lox on top. Then I had a Lean Cuisine before I got on the bike, and for dinner I had a big salad with about 3/4 lb. of broiled sockeye salmon! Initially, I ate 1/2 the salmon filet, thinking I'd wrap the rest for today, but it was so good and I still felt hungry, so I ate some more and then wrapped the rest. About 2 hours later I polished it off! I think I also ate a banana, some prunes, some almonds, some jelly beans and string cheese. I have no idea how many calories in all that, but this morning I feel ready to eat again, so I must be fueling myself well.

So the first thing I'm so happy about is that I don't feel like complete and total crap despite the training load I'm carrying, so soon in this training cycle.

Another thing is that the dress I am sewing for my friend's wedding is nearly finished, and it's absolutely beautiful! It occurred to me that I have a warped perception of my body size--I wouldn't say I'm completely dysmorphic, but I think what's happened is that since I don't wear dresses very often I forget just how small I am. I look at this dress I'm making and think, "how the fuck am I going to fit in that?" But then I put the pieces on, and it's fine. I actually bought a dress recently, too, and when I took it out of the package, I wondered how the hell I would fit in it, but I put it on and voila! I'm a size 0-2 depending on manufacturer, I guess. I am still used to how sizes used to run years ago, when I was a perfect 3 and sometimes even a 5. So in my head, I'm a size 3, so 0 and 2 don't make sense to me! Back to sewing--the dress is an Oscar de la Renta design. The pattern is from 1989! I had the pattern and the fabric that long and never sewed it. It's simple yet elegant. I will post a picture of the dress when it's done. I'm making it out of raw silk, which is very delicate and will snag at the slightest wrong touch, so I am being very careful to have clean hands and filed nails as I work on it.

Another source of happiness is that a friend I am coaching is doing quite well in her training. She's only raced once so far, but I have very high expectations for her and will just have to see how it goes, but so far so good. I really care more about how well she does than me. Although good thing she's not in my age group! Another friend that I gave a training plan to is working through an injury (not caused by my training plan!) in a way that I think will leave her in a much better place. I think this will finally be the impetus for her to get on a regular strength routine, which I've advocated to her for years. But other than not being able to run temporarily, I think she's doing well, all things considered.

Another really great thing is that a friend of mine is moving to Cincinnati from Dallas area, so we will be close enough to drive and train with one another! I coached him in 2013, and he's less than half my age, but we have a great time together always. I've been at a few of his Ironman races, and we've done a few together. He even offered to help me out with my Ultraman training! Even if we get to spend 2 or 3 times a year together, that will be just great. He is one of those rare athletes who is not afraid of anything, training or racing-wise. Sometimes when we talk, we make up stupid shit that we want to do. Brad came up with this:

Well, he came up with the format--I came up with the name and T-shirt logo. I may end up doing this as part of my Ultraman training. Doesn't it look stupid? We even thought how funny it would be to do the last day, a sprint, in an actual race. We'd be dying and going so slow, maybe even DFL, even though we'd look like these fast racer types. I've done sprint/Oly/half IM a number of times, and I've done sprint/Oly/half/full IM once in 2009 to prepare for Ultraman Canada. Working back down the pyramid would be the tough part! But doing these things is all about pacing and letting go of your ego. But there is a tremendous training benefit to these NothingMan events. They just toughen you up and give you this incredible confidence in yourself that you can do ANYTHING. Brad is that rare young man (a talented triathlete!) who understands that you can't go out and hammer every workout all the time. I think that's from his background as a bike racer, among other things.

Anyway, how much fun would it be to do Tri Like an Egyptian? If I can swing it next year, I'm doing it, but at least 4 months out from Ultraman. If I don't do that, then I'm hoping Brad will team up with me for 24 Hours of Triathlon. That's something we've been meaning to do together so maybe next year will be the right time. Luckily, he has an amazing wife that I am also friends with who would help crew for us. Morgan is an awesome woman! I got to witness the marriage proposal back in 2010!

I think it's hilarious that a guy less than half my age wants to train and race with me, considering I have other men friends that feel like they are competing with me (and I am faster than some of them) whose egos get bruised easily. Poor babies!

While I haven't yet raced in 2015, that's coming up in about a week! Shit! Then I will truly know how I'm doing. I actually didn't race too badly in 2014 considering my late start, so it will be interesting to see how I do.

In 7 weeks I'm going to Florida with a friend to race a 1/2 IM, and then I'll also be doing an Oly the next day. Because I'm stupid. But I will get to see some friends down there that I haven't seen in awhile. So the racing part is just an excuse to go down there!

I've been moved up a notch in Synthroid dose, and soon I will have enough data to present to my doctor to show that I will probably need to cycle dosage and be monitored closely while I am in these big training cycles. I went to see a pulmonologist, and have a full lung function test next week. It will be good to have that data, again, so I can check that regularly and know what constitutes 100% for me. At the appointment, they said my blood O2 was good and my lungs sounded clear. The test will verify whether what I'm experiencing is asthma or COPD. It could be either, but treatment is effectively the same. I got an air cleaner, and that is already helping, so for sure I know that my allergies have been acting up. It's possible I also have GERD--I'll get that tested, too, and while I hate taking meds, I have reconciled myself to doing what I need to do.

I feel pretty optimistic I will finish the Tour this time, although I have a healthy fear of Saturday--there are 3 videos strung together, starting with one of the hardest of the bunch! But, I am discovering that not everyone can do every workout exactly as specified. I feel pretty strong, but I'm evaluating whether to try and actually do a long run tomorrow. At least I have a massage scheduled! Every time I do these crazy things, I learn more about what my body can handle and what constitutes a reasonable training load. I am still pleased with how much I am able to do at my age, all things considered.

So today I am going to just be happy for all the wonderful things in my life and be optimistic that in general, things will continue to go well, that I can keep training like I am, and that I have some decent race results this year. I'm trying not to look too far ahead, but 8 weeks out is reasonable, I think.

Life is great!

Critique my Refrigerator and Pantry

From time to time, I catch shit from people about things I choose to eat and drink, like Coke, jelly beans, Pringles, etc. But unless you've been inside my fridge and watched me eat on a daily basis, what the fuck would you know about my day to day diet?

So in the interest of full disclosure, I hereby present pictures of my fridge contents:

Above is the business part.

Top Left:

• Bottles of Gatorade. These are used during swimming, biking and running. Behind the Gatorade bottles are my bottles of Endurox R4, which has been my preferred recovery drink for 15 years.

Top Right:

• Coffeemate, low fat Hazelnut. Yes, it contains sugar. I like it.
• Behind the Coffeemate is coffee. For years I used to ship 100% Kona coffee here, and it was delicious, but I don't drink as much coffee as I used to (3 small mugs in the morning), and I am good with Starbucks or Gevalia or whatever looks good at my grocery store.
• Bottles of Infinit. These are here for the Tour of Sufferlandria. Normally, I only use Infinit for rides of 3+ hours or when I both swim and run in the morning before work. For the Tour, I'm drinking it every stinking ride because I want the caffeine and race-type fueling. I have 3 custom Infinit mixes that I use as needed--for Monday-Friday of the Tour I am using my lower calorie mix, and for Saturday and Sunday I'm using my fairly high caffeine, higher calorie mix.

Second Shelf, Left:

• Eggs, eggs, eggs! The small bowl has hardboiled eggs. I eat one for breakfast every day.
• Herring. This is a snack food for me. I like it from time to time. 

Second Shelf, Right:

• One container of brown rice.
• One container of a chicken/vegetable dish that was in my freezer, that I will eat either for lunch or dinner today depending on how I feel. It will go over rice.

Drawer, Left:

• Various protein snacks live in here, such as string cheese (sometimes Cheddar), braunschweiger (yep, I love that stuff), regular American cheese, Canadian Bacon and Lox, depending on what I'm in the mood for. The lox and Canadian bacon are for when I do a swim/run combo and I need to eat a significant snack after, which consists of an English muffin buttered with one of them on top.
• Corn tortillas (you can't see them). For when I want a bit more carbs with dinner (to soak up some sauce) or an ad hoc tortilla wrap.

Third Shelf, Left:

• Homemade banana/wheat germ muffins (in the bags). I eat one of these for breakfast every day, with a hardboiled egg. Gluten! GMO wheat! Sugar! Canola oil! These things will surely kill me!
• Behind the muffins is a big chunk of Parmesan cheese, that I periodically grate to go on top of salads or rice.

Third Shelf, Right:

• Cherry tomatoes, for salads
• More containers of brown rice. I made about 8 cups for the week, and it keeps well.
• Yogurt. This is what I consider dessert, when I want it.
• Bread. GMO wheat! For when I want toast or the odd sandwich.

Bottom Drawer, Left:

• Lemons. I use these when I roast a whole chicken. The chicken is stuffed with 2 separated heads of garlic, a halved lemon and some rosemary.
• Salad greens. I could buy the greens loose, but I'm lazy and I like the easy variety of the packaged ones.
• A small container of pignoli. For salads.
• Garlic. You can't see it, but there are 4 heads in there.

Bottom Drawer, Right:

• Coke! Because I like it during long runs on the treadmill in winter, to load up calories before long workouts, or when I've delayed a mid-day run or bike past lunchtime and need calories but can't eat lunch because then I'd need to wait even longer. On average, I probably drink 1.5 Cokes per week.

Above is the door. It contains condiments (ketchup, mayo, mustard, BBQ sauce, Chinese sauces), grated Parmesan (in the Jewel container), Starbucks espressos for emergency caffeine, almond milk (used in my breakfast muffins), a package of coffee (because it wouldn't fit in the freezer), bread crumbs, lemon juice, spare Coffeemates, Kringle Cream (it's awesome), Limoncello (it's also awesome), English muffins (which I will swap out for the homemade ones in late spring) and...BEER.

Above is the main part of my (smallish) freezer. In here are chicken (whole roaster and drumsticks), some steaks, some fish (salmon), a chuck roast, coffee, meatballs (in the Dean's containers), a Lean Cuisine (I usually eat one of those for lunch), and various containers of tasty things I've cooked in bulk and then frozen so I can use them on weekdays when I have zero time to cook. Also stuffed in there are a couple of slices of my deep dish pizza and lasagna in the tinfoil.

Above is the door of my freezer. Butter (butter keeps extremely well in the freezer), more coffee, and containers of various tasty things like pesto (I make a huge batch every August and dole it out as needed throughout the year), pasta sauces and rice toppings. And a few small ice packs.

Above are the top shelves of my pantry (it's a closet). Some cooking vessels, including a lobster pot, a tart pan and my good cookie sheets, and on the lower shelf are my flours (gluten! GMO wheat!), rices (brown and jasmine), sugars (brown and white granulated), and spare food wraps.

Above is the remaining shelves of my pantry. Lots of good things in there! Various sauces for Chinese cooking, couscous, sardines, tomatoes and tomato sauces, Chinese vegetables, olives, anchovies, beans, soups, sauerkraut, salsa, wheat germ, almond milk, ketchup, pickles, coconut milk, chile sauce, canned fruit, garlic chili paste, and there's a bunch of pasta in there.

So yes, I do eat some processed foods, I do eat some sugar (aside from naturally occurring in the fruit I eat which is typically bananas, dried figs, prunes, and seasonal fruits like berries, mangos), I do drink beer and the occasional aperitif or cordial (I have a pretty good wine rack in my dining room, too!), and I do take in engineered sports nutrition. I prepare my breakfast and dinner foods from scratch, and go out to eat maybe once a week or every 2 weeks, preferring sushi, good Italian and lately Caribbean.

I didn't take pictures of other food areas, like spices, oils and crackers. I use a lot of olive oil. Salads are topped with olive oil and creme of balsamic. I have fallen in love with the specialty Triscuits--cracked black pepper, sweet potato and roasted sweet onion. Sometimes I'll have a few with cheese on top as a snack, or have a few with dinner. I have a bag of fun size Paydays that are in reserve for long bike rides or whenever I feel like it. I have a package of Keebler cheese/peanut butter crackers that I like when doing long (3+ hour) rides. I have some jelly beans.

I cook on weekends only unless I have a day off work. Broiling a steak or fish or chicken does not constitute cooking to me. Cooking is a dish requiring prep time, at least 5 ingredients, and some watching. I've come to know a bunch of recipes in my favorite cookbooks that I make over and over. Pasta sauces are for when I'm training > 15 hours per week. Rice toppings are good any time. The pizza and lasagne are once a year deals, since they take a shitload of time to make. I'm still trying to decide if/when I will make my annual batch of green chile--it's another dish that takes the better part of a day to make, but I have no room in my freezer currently! I can now start extracting containers from my freezer, and when I have removed 4 or so, then I can make my next thing and freeze it. What happens is that by summer I have a whole bunch of different things in there to choose from, which is really nice, and they supplement grilling outdoors. In summer, I'm usually training like a beast and eating more pasta, and there are many pasta sauces I like that require very little time, and so I will make one when I feel like it (spaghetti carbonara, walnut pesto, sausage/cream, on and on!) and eat it for a few days.

Could I eat more cleanly? Of course. But I do pretty OK, I think, eating appropriately for the amount of training I'm doing, a good amount of fruits and vegetables (I have fruit for morning snack and on top of salads and in some rice toppings, and dinner features a lot of vegetables and some at lunch), a good amount of lean protein, appropriate use of starches, and I'm not a big dessert person. I do indulge in the occasional McDonald's, but that's about it for out to eat junk food. In my daily diet, most of my sugar comes in the form of sports nutrition. There's that little bit in my coffee, breakfast muffin and lunch. Sometimes I go through a phase where I'll have tuna and vegetables for lunch. It's healthier than a Lean Cuisine, but I also like a hot meal at lunch. I don't feel like I'm sacrificing. EVER. Do I think my racing would be better if I cleaned up my diet even more? Fuck no. It's important to me to enjoy life even though I train fucking hard. Good food is one of the rewards of hard training. I'm cognizant of the need to replace and top off my glycogen stores, not get fat, and time my meals and snacks based on my training. This is what works for me. Time to finish breakfast!

I love food--I love shopping for food, I love making food, and I love eating it. But I am also aware of nutrition, and I think I have it covered!

Tour of Sufferlandria 2015

Last year, I attempted to do the Tour of Sufferlandria for the first time. I failed at completing it, miserably. In retrospect, I failed to recover properly from Ironman Cozumel.

This year, no Ironman to recover from, and I've been doing 1 or 2 of the Sufferfest videos for the prior 7 weeks. And I sort of tapered this week--while I did some tempo running on Wednesday, I cut back my long run from 2 hours to 1:30, and ran it super easy on Friday.

In scheduling training for next week, where the Tour is in full swing, I've noted that all running and swimming is optional. I will swim tomorrow morning, and I have one more swim planned, but if I'm dying by Wednesday, I will skip it. Any running will be super easy, Zone 1 stuff.

Yesterday, the Tour kicked off with an easy video, Elements of Style, followed by The Long Scream. The Long Scream is a :30 Time Trial! Well, I'm still a triathlete and not just a cyclist, so I ran :25 before I hopped on the bike. The run was to be easy, and I went outside and had actually a pretty damn good run for going easy! I averaged 8:58/mile, in part because I saw the girls' cross country team running towards me for about 1/2 mile so I had to look good for them! But I also know that because I ran so easy Friday that I was able to go faster than I needed to.

Elements of Style was fun, and it made me realize I need to focus more on engaging my left calf muscles. I'm right-handed, and very right-body dominant, and my left knee is the one missing the ACL. My right calf is always more gnarly than the left one after biking, so maybe I can work on that. Then The Long Scream. Fuck. I forgot it was a TT. Now, many of the people doing the Tour are just biking or haven't been training a lot, unlike me. So I am doing the Tour rides as "best effort." I'm still putting forth a really strong effort, but typically I'm riding one zone lower than they are asking for some of the time. Still, I knew I'd ridden hard when I got off the bike and my legs felt like jello, and I disconnected my laptop from the TV and then yelled FUCK OFF at the TV as if that would turn it off!

But I didn't feel too badly, because I'd drunk a Coke before I ran, and I drank Infinit (with CAFFEINE!) on the bike. I'd planned a :30 swim after. I've been doing a :30 or so swim on Sundays after my long run, and I did one Friday after it, and wanted to do one to recover from the biking. I started drinking the Endurox R4 after I got off the bike just to keep some calories going in, and also a big glass of water.

I got to the pool, put on my flippers, took a big gulp of Endurox R4, and swam 1500 straight! I don't know what possessed me, but I felt good and didn't feel bored by swimming straight (and fairly easy). The power of caffeine! I finished up with 200 kick and got out and showered, and then went into the sauna to stretch a bit. As soon as I laid down in there I was like FUCK I'M HUNGRY, but I managed about 5 minutes of stretching. I don't expect to be too hungry after just 2:15 of working out (the total for yesterday), but I was. When I got home, I had another 1/2 chicken breast fricassee leftover, and on Friday I'd made about 8 cups of brown rice in my rice cooker, so I scooped out about 1 1/4 cups of rice into the bowl, microwaved it and ate it standing up in the kitchen because I was so damn hungry. And I cracked a beer, since I'd already drunk my recovery beverage!

And then I realized I was pretty tired. I was going to immediately go to the grocery store, but my body said LAY THE FUCK DOWN. So I did. I needed some more calories so I grabbed a small handful of jelly beans and ate them in bed watching whatever was on TV. After about 45 minutes, I motivated and went grocery shopping, and luckily I hadn't planned anything for the day, because the rest of it basically consisted of laying around doing nothing. Which I need from time to time.

I had the filet part of a huge porterhouse steak and a giant salad for dinner and another beer, then I had a generous shot of this stuff and passed out pretty early.

As I sit here writing this my legs don't feel too bad, but today's Tour stage is Blender. 1:40 of you want to kill someone. But that's all that's on my schedule today aside from maybe a little snow shoveling.

Next week, the Tour includes about 9 1/2 hours of riding. While I do that much many times during the summer preparing for an Ironman, um...the Tour intensity is just over the top. Still, my objective is to finish the damn thing this time, even if I have to tone down the intensity. Last year, I was toast on Friday. I'm sure I will be hurting badly by then, but I hope not enough to quit! I am going to mix up 11 bottles of Infinit for the biking and my alleged long run. There is no way I can get through all this without caffeine!

Huge props to anyone who does this and finishes it. It is not your average week of biking! If you think you train hard and have never done one of these videos, then you are delusional. These videos are the real deal and aren't intended for daily use! That's why this is such a fun thing to do in January!

Good luck to all Tour contenders, this is going to be epic!

Seven Weeks In

It's 7 weeks since I officially began training--training like I do over the winter in preparation for an Ironman. I've got meds now that seem to be helping my lungs with whatever is going on there. I'm not wheezing when I wake up in the morning, and I'm starting to feel like I can breathe a lot better while working out. I'll know I'm 100% on the lung front when I can sing while running in Zone 3!

It's been tough going from arbitrary run and bike workouts to full out gonzo training. Here are last week's workouts:

I skipped the Tuesday ride because I crashed after having been on Prednisone for 5 days, but I did go for a walk and lifted that day. I extended the Thursday and Saturday rides by :30, so I almost made up for the miss.

During Wednesday's track workout, I told myself it would be OK if I toned it down a little, but I ended up going faster than all the prior weeks. Instead of coughing up a lung after the intervals, I just breathed more deeply! That is progress!

I seem to be nailing all my swims now. I am still not fast, but coach said I look like "I'm just swimming and not trying" now. All the things I've done to correct my stroke have worked! I haven't gotten too much faster, but we'll see what happens over the next 12 weeks or so. If nothing else, I should be more efficient.

I had some good running results last fall, but my running has suffered as I picked up the hard, focused bike workouts, although all my track workouts have been awesome. I felt pretty rough on Friday, but ran easy (as I was supposed to!), and enjoyed running outside.

Saturday I did a bunch of chores and didn't start biking until 10:30. Since I'd still be rolling through a normal lunch hour, I chowed down some leftover pasta about 1/2 hour before I started. This had the bonus effect of keeping my effort easy for the first hour. I was a bit concerned I would have shit for watts the entire time, but once I started ISLAGIATT, I'd burned off the pasta, felt great, and had good power. But I didn't expect to be able to run for shit off a ride like that. It was decent out, so I took a little over 5 minutes to towel off and change and headed outdoors. I ran by feel, so super easy, but right off the bat I was running maybe 9:45/mile, which would be just perfect (actually too fast) for an IM marathon. My legs actually didn't feel too bad, and I picked it up on the way back and ended up averaging 9:32/mile. Not too shabby!

A friend came over for dinner Saturday night and we got takeout Caribbean. YUM! Fried plantains, rice with pigeon peas, slow roasted pork and beef. I made a taco out of some of it, and felt I really carbed up well, but had no clue how I'd feel Sunday.

My legs were predictably a bit sore Sunday morning, but I loaded up 1/2 bottle of Infinit, a Coke, and some Gatorade and headed to the Y to run there on the treadmill (I don't like doing my long runs in my house) and then swim after. Happily, my legs felt just fine running, and I got in about 12.2 miles in 2 hours, which was just fine, and the best I've felt during a long run since November. I swam 1350 after (it made me nuts to end on not a multiple of 100!) super easy. After 500, some lady was sitting with her feet on the ledge in my lane! She was talking to someone in the adjacent lane, and I was like I don't want your gnarly feet in my face! I told her to, "Get your feet out of my lane, PLEASE!" She acted perturbed, but WTF, right?

I stretched some in the sauna and then finished up at home while cooking (for FIVE HOURS STRAIGHT) and then some more after I finally ate dinner. All told, I put in just over 17 hours last week, and a bit more the week prior. I have increased my weights and reps over the last 5 weeks, and that has had an impact on everything, but it appears I am adapting to all this and feel rather great now.

This week is a bit of a step down (only 14.5 hours of training) in preparation for beginning Tour of Sufferlandria on Saturday, although I am doing the 2014 route since I didn't buy all the new videos. Then the Tour continues the week after with very light running (I learned my lesson from 2014 that you can't run much during this!), featuring 9 hours of biking! The week after I have my first race of 2015--an indoor supersprint!

Yikes! Good thing I'm adapting to this otherwise I would be a complete mess! But it's totally fun. I'm used to the cycle of fatigue/soreness/invincibility. That is how it goes when you keep up aggressive strength training at the same time you are doing a lot of intensity work.

Today I have the day off from work, and I've got a swim threshold test and an easy :45 run is all! I will get all the dishes done from my cooking festival, work on the dress I'm making for my friend's wedding, and that will be that for today!

Oh, and I just discovered that I need to get a TUE (Therapeutic User Exception) by WADA because I take raloxifene HCL for osteoporosis treatment. The odds of me being drug tested are probably small--still, I want to be 100% legitimate!

Have an awesome week!

Mystery Science Theater 2015

I am in science experiment mode again. After experiencing what I initially perceived to be a minor infection (as in "maybe I'm getting a cold") and sensing I could swim faster if I could just get more O2 to my muscles, 2 weeks ago I contacted my doctor to get a refill on an albuterol inhaler. I'd had one laying around from a prior cold/flu incident that wasn't used up, and had been self-administering just a little as I felt necessary since beginning of October. I wasn't full dosing it, as I thought I only needed a little bit.

As winter arrived, and finally really cold weather, I noticed this slight shortness of breath wasn't going away, and I was running out of inhaler. It was also time for me to schedule my annual (that I will attempt to begin doing quarterly) blood work roundup consisting of CBC, liver enzymes, thyroid, cholesterol, fasting glucose, etc. I scheduled the blood work, asked for the inhaler, and my doctor said I needed to come in for whatever I thought I needed the inhaler for. Smart move on her part!

So last week, I went in, to get both the blood draw and the evaluation. First thing I got was, "Who ordered your blood work?" Um...me? Then they said it needed to be authorized, and I was like, OK so I'm seeing doctor make her do it. That was taken care of.

Now, in addition to the breathing thing, I had really felt like I'd put on just a few pounds that shouldn't be happening as I've increased training and am pretty good about matching my calorie intake to my outgo.

During the appointment, this was first time I was tested on a spirometer. My readings were "normal," and I told the nurse practitioner (PAC whatever that means) that I should be off the chart given my aerobic capacity. She listened to my lungs, and of course, said they sounded normal. I said they aren't. I listed a whole pile of observations I'd made as to what's been going on as I've noticed this issue with my lungs:

• Increased my training load
• Moved most of my training indoors
• Cold weather
• Tightness in chest

Now, there are other things at play here that wouldn't make sense to anyone except another athlete:

• Changed my swim stroke. So there is some left pec soreness/tightness still lingering. I know this because I tested myself. When I shovel snow right-handed (which is my natural), it hurts a bit, but not when I move to left-handed shoveling. Therefore, my left pec is still getting used to the new swim stroke.
• This is first fall/winter in my house since I've had it air sealed. It's great, because the house is no longer losing all the warm air, but bad, because it's trapping in a million things that I'm allergic to.

I failed to mention the air sealing and allergy thing at the appointment. I spaced out! When I was in college, I became quite sick once and was put into the infirmary. My lungs were messed up. I had a history of recurring bronchitis as a child, so once I was well enough to be discharged, they sent me for allergy testing. Turns out I'm at least mildly allergic to almost everything except foods--so pollen, mold, dust, pet dander, air... It's just enough that if I catch a virus, I can be severely impacted. So I went on allergy meds that at the time were like speed! They were great--you put speed on top of my normal high energy level, and I was basically bouncing off the walls constantly. Until they took that drug off the market, LOL! A few years after college, I was switched onto Claritin (which was prescription at the time) or Allegra, and I also took desensitization shots, as I had a cat, and the cat was a major allergen. Not as bad as some people who can't even be around them, but just enough to be a bit wheezy.

I kept taking allergy meds until I no longer had cats, in 2005. I love cats, but my last pair went psycho and had sprayed all around my house, and I just have not wanted to get more, plus the care and feeding. But I adore cats. Someday...

Anyway, once I no longer had cats, I tried going without the allergy meds, and seemed to do OK. Until this year. It didn't dawn on me until after my doctor appointment.

Back to the appointment: the PAC gave me a 5-day prescription for prednisone (sadly, the last day was yesterday), and sent me to get a chest X-ray. I started on the prednisone right away, and went and got the X-ray. The radiologist said my lungs look fine (no spots or anything odd), but that my diaphragms are "flat." This can be indicative of COPD. So that's what the PAC told me. I was, of course, like, FUCK! But I'm lucky to have a close friend who is a nurse and said just wait it out. The PAC said I should go see pulmonologist.

So after this little wakeup, I remember about my allergies and that I've not been being treated for them, and when I think about it, this is exactly how I felt when I failed to take them. I also think I may have exercise-induced asthma. COPD? It's possible due to my history of bronchitis, but I am hoping that is off the table.

The interesting thing is that through these last 3 months, I've become faster at Swim/Bike/Run and stronger in the weight room. So yay for me overcoming whatever the fuck is wrong!

So...well let's just say I love prednisone. Me on steroids is pretty entertaining. I felt no pain, although I don't think I actually over-extended myself. I just knew I should be way more tired at the end of each day than I was. But I wasn't. No wonder people become addicted to the things! I will surely crash today, though. I had these nice rosy cheeks, smiling all the time, and was very chatty. Also a little more "don't fuck with me," but I was able to keep that at bay.

I have the pulmonologist appointment set up. I asked my doctor for Advair, as the albuterol isn't cutting it now, and even if I do have COPD or allergies or asthma, they'd probably put me on that, so yay for me asking for it, and I have it without another doctor appointment.

Now onto the blood work. My cholesterol is awesome (HDL 72 / LDL 110 / triglycerides 59). CBC looks good, although I will need to compare to my last results. What is fucked up? TSH. I learned from 2013 that when I am feeling great and nearly hyper (even without steroids!), that it can mean my thyroid is underperforming, or more accurately, I don't have enough to meet the metabolic demand I am putting on myself. And I was right!

Now, my suspicion is that my body can only produce so much thyroid hormone, so when I start ramping up training, I tend to go more hypothyroid, as my body plus existing meds can't keep up with what my body needs in order to do the training. This I will share with my doctor. I had thought she said they wouldn't give me more Synthroid, but she is giving me more, and then I will need to be tested again in 6 weeks to see where I stand. Ugh...this is the part I hate.  The waiting to see if the dose works, etc. It is so ridiculous that a test hasn't been invented yet for measuring thyroid function that you can do at home with a prick of your finger, like you can to check your blood glucose. I would do it daily.

So...in conclusion, I have some lung shit to get sorted, and I'm back on the thyroid testing/dosage adjustment train again. Which means I still haven't been through a full Ironman training cycle with my thyroid properly regulated. EVER. Not in a single one I've done, since I know that I've been hypothyroid way before I ever started all this--it's just that the acceptable ranges have changed, and if you're even a little off doing what I'm doing, it's a huge impact. I have a feeling that what I will need to do is modify my dosing based on my training cycle, so I will talk to my doctor about how we can best manage this. I think at a minimum, I need to be tested every 3 months to see where it's at. But in a way, I'm happy this is all happening to me, and glad I'm doing this now. Because I think I have time to get myself better adjusted and functioning properly again!

How exciting will it be for me to have my 100% lung power plus having all the thyroid hormone I need? I am optimistic that my athletic performance will finally rise to the level of training that I do. It's not been poor, by any means, but I know I can do better. I will also once again offer my doctor the opportunity to write me up as a case study. She should welcome the offer, but you never know. If she wanted to run blood work on me monthly, I'd do it.

So yay for me for demanding the blood work now, even though technically some of these things didn't need to be tested until April. But it was time, I had the feeling my TSH might be off, and that is something I have to attend to. The difference in how I feel at various levels can be subtle, but now it makes perfect sense to me and I'm learning to interpret how my body feels at different levels. Last time I'd been tested was in April, 2014, and TSH was fine, but I was hardly training at the time. So this correlates to my theory of how much hormone I can manufacture, and that when I'm not training much, it's enough, but dump on more training, and it's not.

My pharmacy fucked up my Synthroid prescription, though. They gave me generic. Luckily I caught this last night and called them. It was their mistake, not my doctor's. I can't take generic--I went through that fucking shit in 2013 of being on a rollercoaster because my body is sensitive to the drug purity. So glad I didn't take that. I will pick up the correct Synthroid this morning, and off we go! Recall that for Ironman Cozumel, I was still on generic levothyroxine, and I wasn't being given enough of it, and so I had a craptastic performance in the race. I am very excited to see how I will feel when we synch up the brand drug Synthroid at proper dose with my training!

Based on all this, I highly recommend to anyone doing Ironman training to get their blood work done at least twice a year, quarterly if feasible. The training puts such a high demand on your body that it's imperative to ensure it's in perfect working order, and as happened to me, the high training load can reveal issues you have that you might not otherwise find out about until years later. And things will change throughout the training cycle, so just because you were fine 3 months prior doesn't mean you should just live with the status quo.

Happy training and science experiments!

Getting Stronger!

You all know how it happens. It's by doing this, right?
"Harder, longer, faster, tougher, repeat."
--Crackhead

There really is no other way. I've been on my plan now since December 1, 2014. 5 weeks in, and I'm lifting heavier again while increasing my FTP, my VDOT and my swim T-pace (all of which were in the toilet for well over a year). I would consider this week a marker of just how well I'm doing, because on Tuesday this week I:

• Shoveled snow for an hour (used the snowblower, too, but I like a really clean driveway), then
• Warmed up for :30 followed by a 1-hour Sufferfest video, The Downward Spiral, on the bike. While I wouldn't say it felt "easy," and I may regret saying this in 2 weeks, I enjoyed it. The video is basically a descending ladder of FTP efforts, starting at 2:00 (same rest as the interval) down to 15" by 15" decrease each one. And you do it twice.
• Lifted for :43. Mostly core and upper body
• Had my first MAT session, which did require me to move around a bit and do a bunch of isometric contractions. Received a compliment from the practitioner that I am quite limber in my hips for someone my age. NO SHIT!

Now, I should have been completely waxed after all that, but I ate well, and got up yesterday and did this:

• Swam 2500 (I'm doing shorter swims but am building them up again) with some fast intervals in there (for me) that I didn't feel like I was dying.The last 600 was pulling with paddles.
• Did my 2x10 press outs in the pool before leaving. Got a compliment from a guy who has previously scorned me for how much training I do--he called me Iron Girl and said he hoped some of my strength would rub off on him. He said maybe he could be Plastic Man! I smiled and tried not to laugh too much at that, as I was thinking of my Barbie dolls when he said it:

 

• Headed to the indoor track for my track workout. On my last 400, I went faster than I've gone in years. Maybe it is faster than I've ever gone doing intervals.  But on the LAST ONE! I pumped my fist in the air then stopped my watch. There was a young couple there that I'd seen on the track the last couple weeks. The guy (who looks like your typical sprinter--what a physique on him!) said I must have hit a PR. I told him I did, and he told me what great shape I'm in! I mean the dude knows nothing about me, he runs like a bullet (he ran track in college and also for Nike for a time), and he's telling ME I'm in great shape? I think I was blushing, and he said it a few more times as we continued to talk. I'd been feeling out of shape and a bit on the plump side. Maybe I've been hallucinating.
• Later in the day, I did another :30 of strength training, this time attacking my upper body but also getting some of my leg work in there. This week is week 2 of 2 sets of 8 reps at higher weight than I was at 4 weeks ago.

Today I just need to lift for maybe :30 and do a 1:30 bike workout, and I feel G-R-E-A-T. Sure I have some soreness here and there (I stretch :15-:25/day), but I could be a whole lot more fatigued. Last week, I was pretty rough, but knew I would adapt to the load. It's tough when I'm going through an increase in weight/sets/reps strength-wise, but I expect it and love when I can feel the results of everything coming together. Sure we all have our on and off days, but you don't put together what I've been doing randomly or without planning and purpose.

Today I might have shit for watts on the bike, but the overall trend is UP. And that is a great feeling. Only 3 weeks until my first "real" race (a supersprint), and only 10 weeks until a 1/2 Ironman, so this is all good. I am so happy to be back in the swing of "normal" winter training! It's been 3 years since I've been at this level at this time of year, and it is just an awesome feeling. Now is when I get faster and stronger, and then beginning in April I add the "far" so I am faster at farther. I wish everyone could feel this great. It's a shit ton of hard work, but I am happy to do it!

Choosing to Struggle

I have written on this blog about plenty of physical training stuff with a smattering of mental stuff. Today is mental stuff.

It being the beginning of a new calendar year, many people have thoughts about renewal, starting over, taking on new challenges and refocusing on the ones they were already pursuing. Many of my friends are embarking on their push towards an Ironman. Others are marrying off their children or having grandchildren. Some are getting married for the first or not first time.

I spent the first half of 2014 swimming in a morose stew of self-doubt, misguided self-analysis and general shiftlessness. I've gone into before some of the things that led up to that, and recently figured out (from analyzing data!) that I need to structure my intentional athletic struggles in a particular way.

Choosing to master something is making a choice to struggle. You don't get good at something accidentally, or without making countless mistakes and possibly making a fool of yourself. You may even be ridiculed along the way if your something is considered frivolous--such as making art or conquering long distance triathlons, or setting an official world record for miles cycled in a year (I know some people making that attempt).

I've had some things come to me without too much struggle--in grade school, I loved reading and math and foreign language study. I think I inherited a gene from my Dad that made it easy for me to excel in those areas quickly. However, being good at the level I was deemed to be at was never enough for me. Even in 3rd grade, I craved challenge, but was deemed too young to determine my own destiny. By 5th grade, though, it was too obvious to my teachers that they needed to do something extra with me or else I would be far too bored. And my parents did not have the money to send me away to a special school. I worked with my teachers to come up with a way for me to move ahead and be challenged without too much extra effort on their part. I would help the Spanish teacher teach the other kids. I would pick up advanced math books and study on my own. It worked well for a few years. 7th and 8th grade were challenging for me, though, because I acquired a new set of teachers that weren't interested in learning about my history--I was to go with the flow. But I supplemented the lackluster schooling by teaching myself to sew. It seemed like a fun, useful skill to have, especially since my Mom was back working again and had precious little time to be making clothes for me.

To make it mentally challenging for me, I went to summer school. I took a typing class (which I excelled at because I'd played the piano since age 4), and I took a history class (which I hated, but understood that my emotional struggle would contribute to my need to feel challenged). I did continue to be ahead of my peers in math and Spanish, so much so that when I entered high school, within the first week my teachers knew they needed to do something special with me. I was taking Spanish, but the teacher discerned I was about 3 years ahead of everyone else (by my own doing--all I did was retain what I'd learned during the prior 4 years), and decided I could tutor the other kids, and he gave me self-study for the level that I was at. On a dare, I signed up for Russian and German, because what the hell, it sounded like fun. My math teacher figured out the same and I was put into a class with kids 2 years older than me. As to the rest of the curriculum, I couldn't have cared less, as I was able to spread my wings in math and languages. Oh but there was English. One would assume that my proficiency in foreign languages had something to do with English, and it did. I absolutely loved learning about the structure of language, and ingraining all that in me is what enabled me to pick up the foreign languages so easily.

Unfortunately, being the weirdo smart girl who was paid special attention by many of the teachers put me in an odd position socially, and as well, within my own family unit. My 2 brothers and one sister older than me had gone to the same high school, had done fairly well and even had some of the same teachers as I did, but I was always compared to them as light years better. As much trouble as this gave me, I felt it was worth it for me to pursue my own struggle to exploit my natural talents and work ethic.

This desire to go beyond has stayed with me. I fast tracked in my career during my 20's after discovering the joy of computer programming and actuarial science. As you can imagine, regularly being singled out for special attention in school and at work put a damper on my social life. Well, to an extent. My first 2 years of college I was the Social Chairman in my sorority. I figured doing that would be a good way to "learn" more social skills--by doing a bang up job of making other people happy! But college was a struggle for me because I really felt the social toll all my years of excelling (and also having a 20-hour per week job to fund college) had taken. It seemed all I knew how to do was excel at stuff. And I was always rewarded for it in some fashion--either money or accolades. Somehow I think that I became set up for a lot of external validation.

I was 25 when I was raped. I was doing exceedingly well at my actuarial job, living in my own apartment and being self-sufficient. The rape threw me for a loop for awhile, but mainly in terms of my ability to feel safe and trust people. Although the people I worked with were absolutely wonderful in giving me time off, and my landlord easily agreed to let me break my lease so I could move to a safer neighborhood.

Fast forward to my 30's when I was married and puzzled at how to make a marriage work. So I did what I knew how to do--be good at stuff--taking care of the home, making lots of money and looking good. But it wasn't enough, and I realized there needed to be some pinnacle of moving ahead at work and acquiring stuff and having a perfect house that I needed to accept as "enough."

But it wasn't enough. But it was enough to contribute to the end of my marriage. Which was an extreme blow to my self-confidence. I fucked up and got drunk one day and went rollerskating, crashed and broke an arm and got a concussion, then a few weeks later, I was laid off at work (not due to my performance). I thought I'd never find a new job, and was deeply shaken for a few weeks. But I acted "as if" I was still the same confident person, and soon had 3 good job offers.

The job I accepted was intentionally going to be a struggle for me, as I would need to be on the phone with customers and visiting them in person frequently. Two things I was not a big fan of. I did not enjoy talking on a phone (I couldn't see the person and figure out what they were really thinking/feeling), and yet I didn't like the in-person meetings, either, because I had to be on my "best behavior" which to me was always an act. But I took the job anyway, and discovered there were other people like me with the same social challenges (maybe not as stunted as me, LOL!). I learned new things, new skills, and someone invited me (this was within just a few weeks of when I started the job) to attend a "cardio step class" at the gym located in the building where I worked.

I had never considered myself athletic or particularly coordinated, but the step class had structure to it, so I quickly adapted, to the point where I was teaching the class when the instructor got sick or had other personal business to attend to. So once again, I was flexing my mastery wings. But I loved the exercise--I'd rollerskated and lifted a ton in my 20's, and got away from all that while I was married, and the exercise seemed to feed my mind and get me back to that sharper place I'd been in my 20's.

I fell into a small group of runners, and along the way, captained softball, volleyball and stair-climbing teams. I've always enjoyed taking a leadership role, especially when nobody else wants to do it! One of the runners told me about 5k races, then "suggested" I do a marathon, and from there it all escalated to Ironman and beyond.

While I periodically have a conversation with myself (and sometimes close friends) about how this behavior of constant struggle and achievement might be self-destructive, I hope I have finally given up on looking at it as a bad thing. It's just how I'm wired. I never know when my ability to do all this might be taken away from me. I sit here this morning with sore arms and pecs from swimming with paddles yesterday followed by a stint on the assisted chin/dip machine, then a run where I could tell my legs were still sore from that obscene bike workout on Saturday, and knowing I need to go outside and shovel my driveway so I can leave if I need to, but I'm having someone come to my house tonight to begin some MAT sessions. I look at the workouts and events I've got planned for myself and think it's fucking crazy--why am I putting myself through this? But, the thing is, that it is this physical "excess" that feeds my mind. I know it does, and I can't object to it. Some days I am afraid of my own drive, as I feel like I'm overflowing with energy and happiness for just being who I am.

At the end of every day, I don't expect anyone else to be like me. I can't tolerate people who denigrate me for being the way I am anymore. My ex-husband did that, and some male friends have done that to me recently. It cuts deeply to my core when someone tells me I do something too much. What the fuck is too much? Am I living too much? Am I being happy too much? Am I being introspective too much? Am I trying to encourage others to be their very best too much? Am I being an example of what a person can do too much? Nobody can know what the rest of my existence is outside of what they see me doing without making an effort to get to know me better. Because while the too much is pretty evident, my inner struggle to be just enough so that someone will love me is very real. I know the doing is not what I will be loved for--it is the being. And there's a whole lot of being inside me. It is just my unfortunate luck that the way I get at it is by struggling and doing. Sometimes it's hard for me to explain this to others. I think it may be because they are so caught up in the excess of my external presentation that they don't have the energy to dig within. Their loss. I believe that I do this with my own friends--I know that whoever they are on the outside is just a skin they wear, and that they are far more to me than that. This is why I have very few close friends. It's those who also have the energy/desire to spend to probe deeper, and/or I've tried to show them how. Sometimes I just have to ask them to do that, but that's OK. All a person can do is say no. Some people do say no, and then I need to let go of them.

Wow--this was enlightening to me. I begin today wondering how the hell I am going to have the energy to shovel the snow off my driveway, do a fucking hard bike workout, get some strength training done, do my job and then be ready (and energetic enough for, if that's required) for some MAT. And probably wake up tomorrow and do it all over again. It's a daily struggle--even as I've at times said that training is easy. It is! The struggle is doing the training but doing all the other shit, too!

2015 is My Time to be Great

It's that time when people summarize their training data for the prior calendar year. I've been tracking my training for years, and in fact, I scrounged up back to 2000, and I can see it in all its glory:

I highlighted the cumulative total through 2013, because that's when I went over 10,000 total hours of triathlon training. I assume that most readers have heard that it takes 10,000 hours of practice at something to become good at it. At least at sports. Read this for variations by pursuit.

Now, based on my attainment of the magic 10,000 in 2013, one would think that 2014 would have been a banner year for me. But it wasn't. It turned out to be a "rest year." What I can now see by looking at this view of my training, and knowing my race performances, is that on the macro scale I need to take entire REST YEARS in addition to scheduling rest days and weeks. Cool, huh? This is what you can figure out when you keep the data on yourself! This is why I tell people it's important to track your training if you are in this game for serious performance goals, OR to get a high-level view of why your performance might be declining or you keep getting injured. From my own data, I can deduce that I should take a rest year every 3 years. This is great, because 2014 was rest, then I will build into 2015 and do an Ironman, build more and do Ultraman Hawaii in 2016, and then 2017 will be a rest year.

So 2014 was a rest year, which means that 2015 should be awesome! I have my "final" lineup of races/events through IMLOU:

Holy shit! Looks like a fucking shitload of fun! To say I'm excited to get on this (and I have been since 12/1/2014), would be the understatement of the century! My 2015 ATP has me at 680 hours through IMLOU. I will take some rest after that, and then begin training for Ultraman Hawaii, so I expect I will close out 2015 at around 825 hours. That's a big jump from 2014, but I've done that much before, so it should be no problem. Plus, it's highly likely that I won't bike as much as I've scheduled this year. I will still get in probably 13 century+ rides, which should do the trick. Still, this is an aggressive schedule, but I've got my 10k training hours in so all should be good!

It is hard to describe how great the above analysis (which I just did on the fly while writing this post) makes me feel. Turns out that all along there has been a method to my madness, and while some people think I'm totally fucking nuts, it all makes perfect sense to me.

Here we come, 2015, and as usual, the Crackhead Motto shall reign supreme:

"Harder, longer, faster, tougher, repeat."
--Crackhead

ALL IN

I'm not unlike many triathletes in that I begin selecting and registering for races and training events well over a year in advance. Time was that every Ironman race filled up within hours of online registration opening (usually the day after the race that just took place), but now there are so many of them that many stay open for months, even close to the race date. This makes me extremely happy, as I went through a bunch of crap this year, and by the time I decided I wanted to do an Ironman in 2015, there were still a few with open spots (I picked Louisville).

I take my planning for the next year 2 zillion steps further, though. After picking my primary race (Louisville is just a required stepping stone to get into Ultraman Hawaii), I scout out all the local organized bike rides and some shorter races, consult with friends (some of whom are twisting my arm to do particular races with them), decide on what fits in the big scheme of things, and usually spend November and December making my grand plan for the coming year.

I finally finished signing up for races on 12/19. Well at least through IM Louisville. There will be some races after that, but nothing I need to worry about at this time, although I am already assembling a list of things I want to do in 2016 in addition to Ultraman Hawaii.

Once I have my races on a calendar, I plan for:

• Days off from work that I need to travel or to rest up for a big weekend
• Haircuts every 5 weeks or so
• Massages every 1-3 weeks
• Miscellaneous life stuff like recurring medical and dental appointments and house/car maintenance

All this goes onto my one huge Excel spreadsheet that has all this information in it since fall of 2007! Although I may need to archive off part of it, as the spreadsheet sucks a bunch of memory now because of all the formulas and such.

Next, I fill in the workouts required to train adequately for the races, review the week to week progression, go back and adjust, and repeat this cycle about 3 times until it all looks "reasonable." I'm a trained actuary, and one of the activities you do when you are doing actuarial stuff is called "reasonableness checks."  I'm glad I was trained in that particular skill, as it has application in many areas of life--not just triathlon planning! I need to look at the data in many ways--each sport individually, each day on its own, week in aggregate, week over week increases in training load, deciding how much to taper for various races, when I should schedule rest days (YES I ACTUALLY DO THAT). This is hyped up version of "stare and compare." After each instance of looking at the data from one viewpoint, I pencil in changes, and put it away until the next day. Because I know that what seems rational one day might appear stupid the next.

When I'm all done, I print out the full calendar version and the individual swim workouts (I have it set up so that I can print them and fold 1-2 weeks worth into a quart-sized baggie to take with to the pool) and bike workouts (which during the winter I keep next to the trainer and in spring-fall I cut them apart and put into my bike jersey or Bento Box).

I am done!

I am almost done doing this same process for a friend that I am coaching in 2015. It's doubly maddening to be doing this for myself and someone else, but that's how I roll.  While I could make up her training along the way, I intend to sit down with her and show her the plan in aggregate so she can plan her life around it, because she's as dedicated to the process as I am, and I want her to be successful. I never liked getting training blocks 4 weeks at a time from a coach--but that's just ME. I like knowing what it's going to be ahead of time. Of course, I can make adjustments along the way depending on how things go, but really every coach has to make an ATP (Annual Training Plan) that accounts for all the races in order to begin sketching out the general plan for where to take the athlete.

While this process can be quite maddening and keep me awake longer than I should be (or in my case, prevent me from sleeping as much as I should since I am an early morning person), I get an incredible sense of joy and accomplishment from the process. A well-built training plan is a thing of beauty to me. It's something I've learned to do (self-taught--no certifications here!), and it's helped me to take a lot of stress off once I actually begin the training cycle.

Now, you might ask, what do I do when shit happens? It depends whether it's small shit or big shit. Most shit is small, and requires minor adjustments at best. Big shit can derail the entire year, and this has happened to me--in 2011, 2012 and 2014. 2011 and 2012 ended up being no-ops (that's a technical term Google it), although I managed to salvage 2014 from July on.

I'm an ON-OFF person. I'm either 100% fully fucking committed to something, or I'm not doing it at all. Some people call this being ALL IN. I'm ALL IN right now for Louisville and Ultraman Hawaii. Given it's a 2-year process, you might think I should just relax for the time being. I don't see it that way. For the process of getting to the outcome is just as (if not more) important as the outcome itself.

It made me a little sad to read this story where the winner of this year's Ultraman Hawaii said, "People who are looking for pure performance, nothing else, should watch the top athletes at IM or Olympic distance races. It is highly unlikely to find athletes of that potential at Ultraman. It is a race for amateurs and more a race to be a part of than to watch it." To me, the statement might make someone think it's no big deal to do Ultraman. But it is. I would not say that anyone who can/has done an Ironman can do it. Physically, perhaps, but mentally it is a whole different animal. You can slack a little and cut corners and still finish your 12-17 hour Ironman, but you can't do that and finish Ultraman. You just need too many miles in your arms and legs just to cross the finish line.

So in the spirit of piling on the mileage on my arms and legs, I'm ALL IN. I will finish out 2014 with some pathetic training totals compared to my prior years (I will write that blog post in a few days once 2014 is over), but the accumulation has begun for Ultraman. I'm done resting. I am already experiencing some big fatigue due to the combination of high intensity workouts and increased weight in my strength training. That is to be expected. I actually enjoy being sore for a few days at a time. I know it will pass, I know that my body will adapt, and I know that I am becoming stronger.

People who know me well know how focused I can become when I'm on one of these missions. I have one more project to complete (finish sewing the dress I will wear in my friend Susan's wedding next April), and then I am not committing to anything else big (in terms of my contribution) for awhile. It will be all I can do to do my day job, do my training, stretch, get massages, recover, keep mentally sharp and hang with my friends who support me and get my passion for this. I will have no time for detractors. I have already eliminated a few of those. This may all appear silly to outsiders, as I know how focus-crazed I can get. It's who I am, I make no apologies. You don't like it, steer clear! If I shatter myself in the process, oh well--I gave it a shot! I honestly think there are people gunning for me to totally destroy myself. Maybe I will. But maybe I won't. The only way to know is to get with the plan!