Welcome to Cindy. She's my Main Triathlete Girlfriend Squeeze (MTGS). And she reminds me of how regular life can also be a lot of fun. One of these days we will get drunk together. Maybe after DATT.
It's time for me to update this blog. There have been changes to my life. I've finished my 2005-2006 season. I'm about to turn the big FIVE-OH (wish it was as in Hawaii 5-0, but sorry, no such luck), meaning I will get to subject myself to all sorts of nasty medical tests (I can't wait), and it's probably a good time to take stock in where I am and where I am going.
As I learned from last year, it is very healthy to go through a few weeks every year where I let the recent past mull about in my brain and consider what's working for me and what's not working. And not just in terms of triathlon, although for me, my life still tends to revolve around training. I still like to ride my bike, and a new thing is that I like to run!
Yesterday I was pretty tired because I had trouble falling asleep the night before (hormones, I think--oh yeah that too--menopause is either here or right around the corner). I debated whether to do any training, but figured a swim at lunch might feel good. I dragged my ass to the pool and got in, and surprisingly, it felt good to swim. Probably because since I was so tired I wasn't thinking so much (in my continued quest to improve my swim technique I have a tendency to overthink what I'm doing at times), and didn't care how fast (er...slow) I was going. I did a drill workout and got through the whole 2800 yards.
I was supposed to run yesterday, too, but I began bargaining with myself after the swim. I could skip the run altogether, or I could do just 20' or 30' and do more today. Any of those options would be fine. I ran pretty well on Sunday (11.3 miles in 1:40 or 8:53/mile--how's THAT for my long run pace????) and thought my legs might be toasted. I ended up heading out at about 5:30 (and it sucked because it was getting DARK), and I was totally surprised at how GOOD I felt. I could tell there was lack of sleep fatigue, but my run legs were sure there. So guess what, I ended up doing the full 50' which is what I had planned for myself. Which goes to show you that you never know how a workout that you are thinking about skipping is going to feel until you start doing it. Which is why, I guess, I rarely miss planned workouts unless I'm actually sick.
Back to my mulling...turning 50 I suppose is making me think about a lot of things. Am I doing what I want to be doing? Job? Relationships? Health? Decade milestones tend to have that effect. In terms of do I feel old, yes and no. Yes--my skin is for crap, and I am not one to invest money or time in a lot of "products," since, hey, it's just age, I need to accept it. But still I don't look bad for my age in terms of my face. And certainly not my body. So I've got that going for me. In terms of my ability to train, let's just say that it's as good thing I seriously took up stretching last year, or else I think I'd be in rough shape. And let's also say that keeping my weight down is a fantastic thing--it is almost a total joy for me to run now--I rarely have a sense of wishing I weighed less when climbing hills.
But you know I think about stupid things--like most of the time I don't care that I look "fashionable." I work at home, so no need to dress up (or even get out of pajamas) there. I have my "going to the gym" clothes that in the winter make me frankly look like a bag lady, and I don't care (during the summer I wear as little as possible which looks pretty good on me so no worries there). I am more concerned with what I wear to work out in than regular clothes!
I'm trying to become a kinder, gentler version of myself. How so? Just be nice. Not syrupy nice (I HATE that)--just mostly keep my mouth shut and smile. There's still this hypercritical side of me that may or may not be connected to competitiveness (but is certainly connected to ego) that is constantly passing judgment on others. Lately, I have just been letting it be and observing the thoughts coming and going. I also think it's a sign that I am critical of myself, because I tend to project onto others. Oh, and to an extent I am a perfectionist (SURPRISE!). But how can I claim to be a perfectionist when I dress like a bag lady? Today's conundrum.
Anyway, look for more ramblings as I make my way through my fall thought process. I have put together my triathlon goals, and I'm almost ready to publish them here. The right time will come to me.
Meanwhile, it's going to be a gorgeous day here in Chicagoland, so I am definitely getting out on my bike for 1.5 hours.
Enjoy your day!
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6 comments:
Good post and enjoy your day, too! I hope things are going well ... Still puttering along here.
Can't wait to hear what your 2007 goals are!!
Pre-Congrats on the nearing 5-0 B-day!
I'm looking forward to what you have lined up for 2007.
So wait - no word on the fact IM Kona and IMFL were recently added to your schedule?
Big Time Happy Birthday Wishes!! Paint the damn town red!!!
happy birthday sheila. I figured you 15 years younger. Hows that!!!
My army buddies, my business partners and my wife know the real me, the busines me. The 'I will rip out your face and buttstock you to the groin me". (Buttstock is a reference to the back of an M-16)
My trainer partners, my employees, most of peers (though not all)and of course my great blogger buddies should not and will not see this side of me. Why? Because i learned to compartmentalize my life.
Its not two-faced to have two faces. There needs to be an aggression or passion in what you love to do for a job, which I have. I also have that same, perhaps even greater desire in my triathlon hobby and the passion and dedication is the same as work but in this endeavor I can balance out my other side.
Kinder? Gentler? Sometimes. Though my ability to become a knuckle-dragger in the middle of a 5 -star resturant is not to be missed. My ability to completely spin someones head with a cutting sarcastic comment is the only stab into my former/past/buried/non-tri life most will see.
You would still like me regardless because I am fiercely loyal and when you become a friend their is nothing I wouldn't do to assist you.
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