Boob Grab and Tri Tag

The thing I like about swimming (besides that it just feels good) is that it can be a source of entertainment, depending on where I swim. Since I usually swim at a YMCA in the morning after the hard core swimmers have left (I don't need to be in the water until 7AM and I can still make it ass in chair to begin working by 8:30AM), I get to experience a unique crowd.

There's Chad, the hot married guy. He is just teaching himself to swim since last year, and he's already really good. Of course, all it takes is one look at him and you would know that he is genetically suited to swimming! He's tall and lanky, and looks good in a Speedo. We seem to be on the same swimming schedule, so we know one another's names. But up until Wednesday, we only knew each other as swimmers. That day, he said he hadn't seen me for awhile. It was because of Goofy Challenge--between tapering for it, doing it and recovering from it, I'd been off my usual swim schedule for 3 weeks. So Chad asks me where I've been? I told him I went to Disney to run a 1/2 marathon and marathon back to back. His eyes light up like, "wtf is she crazy or what?" He tells me I should try a triathlon (up until this point he only knows me as a swimmer, see? When I swim, I try not to advertise, and don't wear caps from races). I get a Cheshire cat-like grin on my face, and I tell him, "I've done a few." He asks me which ones? I tell him that for starters, 8 Ironman races. It was a fun interchange. Since I already know most people could care less about the fact that I train really hard and race and do pretty well, I don't even talk about it unless it REALLY comes up. So it was fun for me to tell someone for the first time. Chad said he was so impressed, and I told him it's really no big deal. I mean, I don't expect people to be impressed, you know? It's just something I do with quiet conviction.

Anyway, back to today. I'm splitting my lane with another man, who astutely figured out that it must be hard to swim fast when the water is warm, and so he told me of his observation while I was in a 15" wait period, and I huffed a Yes to him. On Wednesday, I also acquired the email address of the aquatic director, and let her know that I would be sending her communication regarding the regulation of the pool temperature. It's gotten out of control, and the next nearest YMCA is closing, so we will be getting an influx of folks who are used to a "hot" pool, and I expect there to be temperature wars. I am sick and tired of not being able to breathe because the pool is too warm.

About halfway through my workout, Bumblebee Man gets in the adjacent lane, swimming next to me. I say Bumblebee Man, because he's wearing swim trunks that are black and yellow horizontal stripes. He's doing breaststroke, and I notice he's taking exceedingly wide pulls. Well, at one point he's pulling under the lane rope into MY lane and he practically grabs one of my boobs while I am rotated towards his lane! He wasn't really grabbing--but let's just say my boob got in the way of his hand! I didn't know whether to be angry or laugh, so I settled for a quick stop and shout, "You are hitting me." I think he sort of got the idea, but I still kept watching for his wandering hands. I swear if he made contact one more time, I was going to stop and yell, "STAY IN YOUR LANE!" I am pretty used to overwater collisions of hands, which I don't like either, but an underwater grab is, well, a little more unsettling.

When Chad was leaving this morning, I told him what had happened and I just busted out laughing hysterically. It's not like I have much in the way of boobs to grab in the first place, so I guess I just found it hillarious that of all the places Bumblebee Man could have made contact, it ended up being a boob underwater!

So that was today's pool entertainment. On to the tagging.

Ironmom did it to me, and I am tagging Cindy, Brett, Mike, Scott, Joe, and Darren.

Here's the tag:

1. Describe a memory from your first triathlon ever
2. Describe a memory from your most recent triathlon
3. What's the most embarassing thing that has ever happened to you in a tri?
4. What's the most thrilling thing that's happened to you in a tri?
5. What is something you discovered about yourself by doing triathlons?
6. What is The Big Goal that you're working towards?

1. Describe a memory from your first triathlon ever

Oh, God. Was that ever a travesty. My first was an Olympic distance, I was fat, undertrained and spastic, and the plane I was to take to fly in was cancelled. I get to O'Hare, and all sorts of flights are being cancelled because of severe thunderstorms. This is my first triathlon, dammit, how can this be happening to me? So I RUN (at least I was able to at the time) to the car rental counters and grab a rental car before they got swamped by others trying to do the same thing, and I volunteer to take on 3 passengers (our bikes were being transported by truck, so no worries, I hoped. The bike made it there and so did I.

Not only that, but I had trained with Team in Training, and the schedule had 2 workouts per week in each sport. Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has called a penalty for INSUFFICIENT TRAINING--15 MINUTE PENALTY.

Not only that, but before the race actually started, I got on my bike in transition to ride the hill out and fell over in the transition area! I bent my left brake hood (I was using the only bike I had at the time--my road bike), which I didn't notice until about 5 miles into the actual race.

Not only that, but the lake we swam in (this was Memphis in May) had to be bombed to kill the water moccasins (there were dead ones all over the shoreline).

Not only that, but the lake actually stunk to high heaven, it was my first swim in open water, and I'm thinking, "I'm swimming in that shit?"

Not only that, but I had my stinking period, so I remember that in T2 I had to use a porta-pottie to change you-know-what.

Cindy was there...I think it was her first, too, so I am sure she can provide more details.

But despite all that, I more or less knew what I was doing (aside from being a slow, fat girl), and overcoming all that in my very first triathlon steeled me to become a student of the sport, and you know what happened after that!

2. Describe a memory from your most recent triathlon

That would be MiamiMan, so there are very fresh memories. I WON MY AGE GROUP, I WON MY AGE GROUP!!! That is the best memory, and I have a plaque to prove it. I have won my age group in other triathlons, but this was the first 1/2 Ironman, so it means a lot to me.

3. What's the most embarassing thing that has ever happened to you in a tri?

I don't really get embarrassed (just ask Cindy), but I am sure I have made others feel uncomfortable. Like at the Disney 1/2 Ironman in 2004, I'm rubbing sunblock on a girlfriend's back in transition, and I pretend like I'm really getting into it and say loudly enough for others nearby to hear, "I am really enjoying this." You should have seen the wigged out tense faces!

Another time is when, and I kid you not, during the 2004 Spirit of Racine triathlon (1/2 Ironman), I had my period AND I had to um...take a shit...during the run, and it was imminent, and there were no nearby porta-potties, so I found a BUSH, and it wasn't really that big, squatted behind it and did my thing. And you know what? That race is my 1/2 IRONMAN PR. So THERE. Was I embarrassed? Maybe a teensy bit.

4. What's the most thrilling thing that's happened to you in a tri?

I would have to say actually BEING in the Hawaii Ironman during the treacherous climb to Hawi (the winds were particularly brutal in 2004) after I had already been to Kona to booze it up and lay in the sun the prior 10 years or so, and now here I was doing an Ironman!

5. What is something you discovered about yourself by doing triathlons?

I discovered that I was already a very strong, resilient woman, and that I should never make any attempt to hide or subjugate that part of me. It is who I am, and triathlon is how it is made evident.

6. What is The Big Goal that you're working towards?

Um...I guess I am still thinking about qualifying for Kona. I think I have the goods, and that if I get a good race on a good day it can happen. In the meantime, I plan to seek out events that stretch me beyond Ironman. That shit is fun, let me tell you. I know how to do Ironman, and know I can finish in a respectable time; it's more fun now to try something that I'm not entirely sure about to get that same feeling you get when you finish something you weren't sure you could.