More Nothing and Desire

I had a really nice brick workout today. It reminded me that sometimes just the thing you need is presented to you. While riding, I saw some people picking pears off a large tree along my interval route. I had never noticed the pears until today. I was also surprised at the size of the tree--as big as a large oak! I asked the people picking the pears if they were any good, but I don't think they heard me. I turned around to ride back up a 1/2 mile hill, and when I got to the top where there is a church and a big parking lot to turn around in, I decided to switch my bottles between the cages on LGL under this big tree in a bit of shade and guess what? It was a pear tree! So I picked 3 of them (after taking a bite out of a small one to satisfy myself that they would be sweet), put 2 in my jersey pocket and 1 in the Bento Box and headed on home. I ended up riding about 2 hours, which I didn't need to do, but it was just such a gorgeous day that I couldn't help myself. Running was a little rough, though, but I was glad to suffer a bit (suffering being the fact that I was running even though I knew it wouldn't be comfortable).

I had plenty of time today to think about desire and nothing and all I could come up with today is that it's OK to have desires and goals and such as long as you do your best to be in the moment during the implementation of those things. Now desire itself is not a thing to implement--goals are, though. I separate the two because goals seem to have more of an end point whereas desire seems to fuel itself ad infinitum. I mean do you ever really stop wanting really good food, sex, laughter, that sort of thing? On the other hand, I think most of us can be happy achieving the goal of one college degree, one special vacation, for example (although we may desire the feeling we have just when we accomplish the goal). Another way to think about it is that something that is sensual seems to go hand in hand with desire. Maybe endorphins are to blame for making my body confuse heavy training with sensuality! Goals creating desire, as it were. I didn't really get beyond that, but I do recognize that I have gone through this before, so I'm having fun doing a little deep dive into my thoughts instead of being puzzled by them.

Maybe there is something symbolic about the pears. You know how sometimes you notice something out of the ordinary and then all of a sudden you are seeing it everywhere? Maybe it was that. I had seen a pear tree on Sunday sometime during the 200K ride that I did. I remember thinking, huh, pears. I didn't think they grew around here. Maybe it was that I've turned around and gone down and then back up that same hill countless times (more so in the last 2 months) and turned around in the church parking lot and wouldn't have figured out there was a pear tree there until today when I'm looking to understand certain thoughts and feelings. Maybe it was just to point out to me that I can have pears! I also noticed some very large drill bits (like 6 feet tall) on a flatbed and thought those were pretty cool. I mean, who wouldn't enjoy seeing large drill bits like that?

Then again, maybe the pears represent nothing!

Anyway, here's some nothing










Here's some faux nothing:



















And finally, is it nothing?