Another Good Week and Random Thoughts

There's a thread on Slowtwitch that asked the question why people go long, meaning Ironman and beyond, in triathlons. As usual, there was at least one snipe that people who go long are just slow and do everything (training and racing) slow, which isn't true. There was also assertions as to which type of training/racing is harder. Anyway, I decided to contribute (my username is fefe) because I felt like it. Anyone who has read my blog for a few years probably knows that for me, it is all about the mental aspects. Am I addicted to training? In a way, I suppose. It has just become something that I really love to do with such a passion that at times it does feel like an addiction. The stuff I've learned about the human body (and I am on a par with many personal trainers, coaches, massage therapists and physical therapists) is incredible, and I share that information with others whenever I get the opportunity. Most people, I find, just don't want to invest time in understanding their bodies, and consequently spend a lot more time at doctors than I do or suffer in silence. At the rate I am abusing my body (and I say that in jest--I actually take quite good care of myself, I think), if I were to go to see a doctor every time something hurt, I'd be there once a week. And so far, the only regular meds I take is Nasonex which is to fend off post-swim nasal congestion--I am slightly allergic to the chlorine/bromine whatever is in there, and I am slightly allergic to most things, but other than shooting up right before I swim, I don't take any other allergy meds anymore.

But I digress. Am I addicted? Sure. I might be addicted to something else were it not for my chosen poison. Is it true that you need progressively more and more exercise to induce the same feelings of well-being? I don't know. I think it's more that as my body has become accustomed to certain levels of training, it just gets easier to reach a little higher over time. And I have many things going for me that have let me push it--working at home, living .5 mile from my gym, weights in-home, ability to ride from home (weather-permitting), no husband or kids, and I am pretty organized. Or maybe instead of organized I should say I have learned to not give a shit about things that aren't important. Does my house need to be spotless? No. I keep it pretty well picked up, though, and am always amazed when at the home of most anyone else that mine is actually pretty clean. But I am no longer obsessive about it like I was when I was married (I refer to that period of time as the "Martha Stewart" years). I know for a fact that the things that HAVE TO get done generally get done, and while I would like 4 more hours in each day just like anyone else, I am doing OK with the 24 that I have.

I do not see my desire for bigger and longer events growing beyond Ultraman, though (like triple IM's, etc.). Had I started at this stuff at a much younger age, I might be considering that, but there are other endurance things that I would like to experience besides just long-distance triathlons. Like I want to ride my butt off for a week--I really want to do RAINSTORM, which is quantity, but I also would like to go to Italy and ride around for a week or two, but maybe only 50 or so miles a day and then do a lot of eating and wine drinking. There are all sorts of events at altitude and stuff. There is no shortage of challenges! I have people asking me to participate in team running events, and I know that would be a total blast. Will I want to do Ultraman Kona if I finish Ultraman Canada? I can't answer that question. I do know that since I am getting this ultrafuckingcool custom tri bike built that I will want to use it for a few years at least.

Part of this mental game is thinking about where I am at now and what might be possible down the road. It is really awesome to know that I am fit enough to do all sorts of crazy shit, and for me, I think it's that sense of "fitness" that is like a really good drug. It's cool to have people send me information about crazy ass races and events, knowing that it's not a matter of fitness for me to do it--it's just choice. And that is without even having finished Ultraman. Again, anyone who has followed my craziness for a few years knows that I have been going at a high level for about 10 years. I have had some necessary breaks and life crap like anyone else, but I have committed to a certain level that has felt "right" to me. And then for people who haven't known me very long, they might not know that what I am doing right now is actually quite normal for me. Maybe not normal for most people, but just fine for me. And that I am just tweaking my "normal" in order to hopefully finish Ultraman.

Aside from all that, I am a very sensitive, vulnerable person. It is just something that most do not take the time to see or admit to, because that would mean treating me as sensitive and vulnerable which is way more difficult than treating me as a tough bitch. I no longer think that I am somehow "hiding" this reality from others--I am pretty good at finding out other people's true natures--I thinkI just let people off the hook too easily. Because reality is, I am usually pretty excited about what I am doing training wise, as it does consume a lot of my spare time. And so that is what the initial projection is. But I have friends and acquaintances who do not do this stuff, and we are able to talk not at all about my shit! And yet, I find myself attracted to the others who do the same level of training as me, because it just makes sharing a lot of things so much easier. But I have observed that some of them just freak out when they discover the chinks in my armor. What the fuck, I am human just like anyone else! The thing is, I am able to work through quite a lot of shit while doing long workouts--I'd be a liar if I didn't admit to that. Sometimes I think I just FEEL too much. Working out is not a way out of that--in fact, I FEEL a lot while doing it. But sometimes it can help lessen or erase feeling bad while not doing it. I have strong feelings most of the time. Luckily, many of them are great, happy feelings, which is why I am usually smiling, snickering at some joke I have in my head or just grateful for all that I have in life. But when I have the bad feelings, they are quite strong, and I do not try and stop them anymore, although I do try and put a time limit on them.

Wow, I am really rambling today. Anyway, I had a great training week, almost as many hours as last week (19--should have hit 20 but I skipped one swim--oh well), felt pretty good all week, had really awesome run workouts, did my first-ever 4.8 mile swim, and what's funny is that I now realize that if I didn't work full-time, I could really do some spectacular amounts of training--gosh, maybe I will spend a year doing that--who knows? Getting used to 3 solid days of big training has been interesting--this week was better than last, with Friday being a 4.8-mile swim and 1 hour run, Saturday was a 3.25 hour trainer ride at tempo pace with a :35 run after, and today I ran 17 miles (at just over 1/2 mary pace) and swam :30 after. I am sure I will be pretty tired tomorrow morning, but I'll get through the day.

There are only 2 more big weeks and then comes a nice taper for Goofy Challenge. I will be tapering everything down, which will make Goofy feel like a real rest for me, and one that I need. I still remember 4 years ago when I was training for Goofy Challenge for the first time, and I was actually concerned about being fit enough to run both the 1/2 and full marathons! That was my first winter where I ran a lot, and I have run more since ROTPM than ever (close to 500 miles in 15 weeks--not too shabby), so it should be interesting going into Goofy with such a good running base for once.

As usual, I am behind on Christmas shopping, but I will get that done on time. I think this is the fittest I have ever been at this time of the year, and so going into the New Year, I only hope to look forward to another year of health and HUGE training!