The Joy of Impossibility

I am still working on my UMC race report. Remember, I said it is going to take me WEEKS to get it all down on virtual paper.

Meanwhile, today I am thinking about how life has given me signs or suggestions about things that I should try and do, and I have been either wise or stupid enough to follow through on them.

The reason I got into Ironman was because a man in Kona told me in 1999 that I would one day do an Ironman. Back when I announced to a group of people at a track workout that summer for my second marathon that I was going to do an Ironman and got some pretty incredulous looks, since I wasn't (and still am not) much of a runner, I thought it would take me 4 or 5 years to reach that goal. But I did my first Ironman in 2001, after a friend accelerated my plan.

I don't recall when I first heard about Ultraman, but I must have read about it during my initial immersion in all things triathlon. I knew of and had actually corresponded with Gordo Byrn back when he was just getting good and I was just starting out, and I must have followed along via some forum when he won Ultraman Hawaii in 2002. At the time, I was in awe of the distance, but since I had been tuned into many things about Kona in general and especially Ironman Hawaii, I was fascinated by this even longer triathlon taking place in Kona. I didn't meet Gordo in person until Triple T 2008. I was dumbstruck at meeting him, and here is proof.

Then in 2006 at the Miami Man 1/2 Ironman, I met Michael Hanreck, who was manning a small booth for Infinit. Because of that meeting, I ended up switching my long distance training and racing nutrition over to Infinit (best thing I ever did, by the way), and Michael told me I should do an Ultraman (he took 2nd at Ultraman Hawaii 2005). At the time, I still thought the idea of me doing Ultraman preposterous.

In 2008 when I was hanging out at Ironman Florida, I met Peter Kotland. He went on to take 4th place at Ultraman Hawaii that year and 3rd in 2009. Here I am with him at IMFL 2008. He dropped out of the race after 1/2 the marathon, using it as a training day for Ultraman. I didn't have much to say to him, viewing him as a celebrity athlete in a whole other echelon than me.

But, I think it was in late 2008 that I began thinking, hmmm...maybe this Ultraman thing isn't so far out of my reach. I'd been doing back to back long training days for about 4 years, and Ultraman is like 3 humongous training days back to back. In early 2009, I made a decision that I wasn't going to register for any Ironman races in 2010. It was really hard for me to resist the pull, with friends ganging up on me trying to get me to do it anyway. I was registered for Ironman Lake Placid and Ironman Canada for 2009, and that was going to be my swan song for Ironman. Something was telling me it was time to move on, but to what I didn't know.

2009 saw me really hitting my stride in triathlon, and it seemed every race I did turned to gold for me. Isn't it interesting that when you really begin to let go of something is when you can have some of your best performances? I successfully avoided signing up for another Ironman and had a personal best at Ironman Lake Placid. Along the way to that race, I neglected to make travel arrangements for Canada, and decided to bug out of it to save some money. Besides, I could always do another NothingMan!

And so a few weeks before Ironman Lake Placid last year, I began concocting my 3rd NothingMan adventure, which I ended up calling Revenge of the PirateMan, and you can read all about that here on my blog. Next, while planning PirateMan, I thought, hey, if I can do that, I pretty much could probably do Ultraman. It seemed like all the arrows were pointing to Ultraman. And then magically I received an email about applications for Ultraman Canada on 8/21, which was 1 week before I was going to do PirateMan. I think I got on their email list because earlier in the year I had asked about the race dates for 2010 in a fit of fantasy.

Well, hey, they sent me an application, and I decided, what the hell, fill it out and send it in. Part of me thought they wouldn't accept my application--after all, there are people out there far crazier than me! But Steve Brown turned around and replied the very next day that I was in! I still remember sitting in front of the computer reading that message. It sent chills up my spine that I hadn't felt since that very first time I registered for an Ironman.

You know how this all turned out, and also that before UMC, I said I was going to step away from long course racing for a year. Go ahead and call me a dirty whore liar!

Well, while I was in Canada, I suspended my subscription to the Chicago Tribune (yes I still receive a PAPER newspaper), and a few days after I returned from UMC, I got in the mail a copy of an article about Zach Gingerich, a local guy to me who won Badwater 2010. It was sent to me by my sister in law. I have read about Badwater and other ultramarathons over the years, as there are many great books written by runners, and there is much inspiration I find in them plus a sense of kinship. Of course, I had to drop everything and read the article immediately!

I have told a number of people lately that I did Ultraman, and a few of them have turned right around and asked me not IF, but WHEN am I doing Badwater? The answer right now is still NEVER. But who knows? I have discovered that I do these things not because I want the title of Ironman or Ultraman or whatever you call someone who finishes Badwater (Bad Ass comes to mind, though), but because they seem like the next logical step in my life's journey. And so I view my training and racing not as some obsessive compulsive habit I've developed, but something I was led to in order to find and improve myself so that I can better serve others. Serve others? Go ahead and laugh, but yes, a very big part of my MO has always been to be a shining example to others of what you CAN do if you decide to make the effort, that working towards a goal that might have seemed impossible at one time is its own reward, and that there is great joy to be had in doing so. And a way I can give back is to infect others with that same joy, and that same (OK it doesn't have to equal mine) work ethic.

Yesterday afternoon I went grocery shopping. I parked in my new favorite parking spot, which is something I adopted just a few months ago (yet another change in my whirlwind of change that is 2010). Coming out of the store, I saw a police car parked next to me, but not in an actual designated parking spot. Of course, my first thought, is "Oh CRAP what did I do?" I was pretty sure I wasn't in a handicapped spot, so I continued to enjoy the downhill with the shopping cart, and I have this special maneuver where I let go of the cart, run out in front of it and catch it before it hits my car. The officer didn't come right out and stop me, but I was still wary that maybe there was some violation I had committed. I loaded my groceries into the car, got in and started the engine, and THEN the officer comes over to my window. I said, "Did I do something wrong?" And he says, "No, I noticed the triathlon stickers on your car and wondered if you could give me some advice on getting started in triathlon." OMG, this guy really knows how to pick them, huh? Well, I shut off the engine, got out, and we had a nice chat. I felt bad, because of course, all this stuff was coming out of my mouth, including that I'd just done Ultraman, but I think I was able to settle down (he was nice to look at, too, which caught me off guard) and focus more on him, his background, and I gave him my email address which I hope he takes advantage of because I'd really like to help him (in person, too, if I didn't scare him off). And it turns out he knows someone I know, and well, it IS indeed a small world, and it seems as if opportunities of all sorts are being presented to me in an accelerated fashion.

What does any of this have to do with Badwater? Nothing. I leave you with my all-time favorite quote, which continues to resonate with me on a daily basis:

To achieve satisfaction in everything
Desire it in nothing.
To possess everything,
Desire to have nothing.
To be everything,
Desire to be nothing.
To know everything,
Desire to know nothing.
--John of the Cross

I can't wait to do my 4th NothingMan on 9/19!