Giving Back, Paying it Forward or Whatever You Want to Call It

There are some people who think all I do is train and lord my race accomplishments over everyone else. Sure I will admit I get a chuckle when I see a car with a 13.1 or even 26.2 sticker on it, but I allow myself that. I will never be a Goody Two Shoes.

In reality, whenever I have the time, and believe it or not, I DO have the time, I am happy to offer nutrition and training advice, review a training plan, give advice about an injury, and I always revel in someone else's racing accomplishments, no matter how small. There is nothing like seeing the joy on someone's face when they are telling me about how they PR'ed at a 5K or did their first workout of "x" distance or time. I also have a huge eye for detail and seem to notice before others when someone's physique is changing for the better, and I am happy to point out that I've noticed.

I just don't happen to be a paid coach, personal trainer, physical therapist, registered dietician, and I'm not a certified anything except maybe pathological athlete, which is what I like to list for my occupation (either that or "Crackhead") on race registration forms. I have coached a few people and may do it again once I'm formally retired from my current job, or I may get some sort of certification. Or not.

It is funny to me that from time to time I've had someone tell me that I am not very approachable. Whenever I hear that, I am thinking "that is YOUR problem" much like when my ex-husband told me I am intimidating I knew it was HIS. You either have the inner strength to approach others and not be intimidated by them or you don't. In any case, I randomly approach people in exercise situations when I think they are ready to accept it. Not everyone likes to be told that they could swim better, run faster, stretch in a more productive way or use better form during various strength exercises. But I've learned to tell those who can accept it, and sometimes they still end up telling me they thought I was unapproachable, and I get a huge laugh about it.

I don't write too much on this blog about these encounters because they happen so frequently that it's hard for me to keep track. Just this morning, I was talking to a guy I know asking about progress on his knee issue and someone else that I don't know personally except we smile at one another because she's as big a workout fanatic as I am (although she doesn't compete, which I don't get) indicated she was listening in, so when I was done with the first person, I spent some time with her and will be sending her an email with some information I know she could use.

Yesterday while I was swimming, a woman who was bold enough to joke with me once during one of my 2.5+ hour swims by asking me what was in the bottles--was it beer--was swimming next to me, and during my warmup I asked her if she was aware of the degree that she was crossing over. I spent a bit of time not trying to get her to fix it (it will take some time) but rather to just encourage her to be AWARE of it. She tried to flag me down later when I was in my main set and I just breathlessly pointed at the pace clock and said, "Sorry, I'm on the clock now."

Last week there was a woman in the sauna who said she'd talked to me about a year ago (I didn't remember her) and she provided me with some followup and I listened and could tell she was still making mistakes in her attempt to become a regular runner, and she was very receptive.

Sometimes I am approached by a person who then proceeds to regale me with all the excuses for why they are unable to make effective changes to their diet or exercise program. Nowadays, as soon as I hear the excuses coming out, I simply state, "This conversation is over." It is a waste of my time AND theirs to continue. I recently read about a study that concluded people needed to be "ready" to make changes. DUH. But how do you know when someone is ready? When I am speaking with a person, it's when they ask questions, and actually listen to my responses. When I hear them say something like, "I am going to try that TODAY." There needs to be signs of receptivity AND a desire to take action.

I never paint a picture of health as being something that can be achieved/maintained mindlessly and with little work. I firmly believe that the MINDFUL part is the most important. If you are not aware of what you are doing, how can you possibly make a sincere effort to change it? Unfortunately, many people actually believe that they can multitask which is just shorthand for giving a half-ass effort to more than one thing at a time. Receptivity to change begins with being in the present moment, whether it's comfortable or not. And this is where many of the 2012 resolutionists will fail. Instead of just focusing on some small dietary or exercise change and GETTING IT DONE, they will simultaneously be obsessing about how hard it is or how they are making a sacrifice or hate it or begin preparing excuses for when they fail. Just DO THE THING without judging it and surprise yourself at how much less it sucks! Certainly for dietary changes, this is completely necessary! Many people shove food into their maws without thinking at all, and then go on to complain about how they have no time to shop for or prepare healthy food, blah, blah, blah. Start small. Buy a few pieces of fruit and then EAT THEM. How hard is that? Actually enjoy the fruit while you are eating it. The flavor, texture, the wonder that it exists in a natural package and is good for you! Master that and then move on to the next thing.

One of the most profound books I have ever read (and that is easy to read, at least if you don't try and read too much into it at first) is Dan Millman's "Way of the Peaceful Warrior." I don't remember exactly who recommended it to me, but I recommend it to anyone I can. Different people will get different things out of the book, but one of the things that has stuck with me is to DO WHATEVER IT IS YOU ARE DOING. If you are washing dishes, then WASH THE DISHES. If you are writing a blog post, then WRITE THE BLOG POST. If you are eating a piece of fruit, then EAT THE FRUIT. Don't be doing something else or thinking about something else. This is a variant of "wax on, wax off" from the movie "The Karate Kid," which when I first saw it seemed to be about the drudgery of "wax on, wax off" but in reality was about JUST PAY ATTENTION TO THE WAX! This is all about being "in the moment," a very big theme of this blog and my own personal life. Sure it might mean that from time to time I am late starting my own workday because I took time to help someone else along on their own life journey in an area where I think I have some knowledge to share. Other times (like when I'm "on the clock" during a swim), I can't give to someone else. I don't profess to be able to get this right 100% of the time, but I try my best.

Thus when spending time with a person who I believe to be receptive to me, I try not to load them up with too much information at once. This has been a work in progress for me, since I've been accused (and rightly so) of "dumping" information on another person, especially in the workplace. If I am fairly confident that the other person is able to absorb as quickly as I can dump, though, I'm totally game. But that doesn't work in too many situations, so I've learned to scale back. What's interesting is that physically, I am like how most people are mentally, and I've told everyone who has offered me swim technique advice that. Don't tell me to do this and that with my arms and hands and legs and head. Tell me ONE THING that I can focus on at a time, and maybe I will get that one thing right.

But I digress. I get a real sense of satisfaction when someone reports back to me that they tried something I suggested and that it worked. A few weeks ago, this happened while I was butt naked in the shower, and I ended up giving the next lesson completely naked with a few onlookers (it was swim technique, fyi).

It is important to me to share knowledge whenever I can. I don't want to die having known a bunch of stuff and that's that. My own Dad did that--he was so smart, and he could have taught or at least mentored younger people, but never did as near as I can tell. To me, knowledge is like love--no good hoarding it, and I seem to have tons of knowledge, so that is my contribution to the world!