It Takes Big Balls

...to register for and put in the hard training to achieve a decent result in an Ironman (or in my case, something even longer).  The time commitment to do the training and everything in support of it is staggering.  Yet, it's one of the stupidest things in the world to do!  Most of us aren't making a living at the fine art of demonstrating just how much we can exercise, and yet we do it.  It makes us feel alive, powerful and focused.

I'm in a full taper right now, and there have been other tapers where I've been full on serious and bothered by everything and anything, and while I am sure I will get there eventually, right now I have an attitude of sheer joy and fun about it.  It's traditional for me to post a picture of a tapir on my blog so here he is:

Notice what big balls he has!  This is what you get when you are either a) an actual tapir or b) tapering for an Ironman.  I couldn't stop laughing this morning in the pool thinking about the tapir, and how ridiculous this passion of mine can be!  But when you do it, you make friends who are just as crazy about this pursuit of extreme fitness and you find they share many other qualities with you besides just being really, REALLY good at exercise.

How is it that it became almost enjoyable to mentally torture myself on the trainer for up to 5:30? Because I CAN.  Because I have big, huge fucking balls.  Because that's what it takes.  Because I knew in signing up for a winter Ironman that that is how it would go.  I've set up my Iron Kingdom (family room outfitted with bike trainers and a treadmill plus kick ass sound and video system) to support this silly passion of mine.  I'm obsessed with it, and I'm OK with that.  Despite all the shit that has gone on in my life this past year, I feel great, if only because I got through the training and that is the hardest part!

It takes big balls to be an Ironman at any age, and I think even more for a woman my age.  What the hell was I thinking to sign up for another one of these?  I was thinking I LIKE HAVING BIG BALLS MAY AS WELL USE THEM!  Perhaps that sounds boastful, but I really don't care.  I love it when someone complains to me about some little thing that hurts or how hard it is to eat healthy and then I give them the laser stare and tell them basically to HTFU.  Most people don't know what hard is.  Hard is not having legs or having your house destroyed by a tornado, like the ones that hit not too far from me yesterday.  Hard is losing your job through no fault of your own and incurring the scorn of people who think that everyone on welfare is a lazy freeloader.  Hard is knocking on death's door due to a disease you had no control over and needing to decide how to live the precious time you have left.

Most of us, fortunately, don't have much uncontrollable HARD in our lives, so some of us self-induce it.  I know that by doing what I've been doing the last 13 years that when something truly hard enters my life, I am a little better able to weather it.  But mostly, I just really like being fit.  And being hyperfit.  And smiling about it, joking about it, and occasionally racing.  And sharing all of that with other like-minded people.

So here's to all of you with big balls.  Show them off proudly!