Sunday, April 30, 2006

Mom's Funeral

It was Friday. Springtime in Chicagoland comes with dicey weather, but it was a picture-perfect spring day! The sky was clear, there were minimal clouds and minimal wind. It was in the mid-60's, so we were able to be outdoors in the bright sunshine without our coats on.

It was wonderful to have my brothers (Mike and Tom) and sisters (Carla and Lisa) there, as well as two of my uncles, several first cousins and some of their spouses, and a few friends of my mom's and dad's.

I wore a black crepe dress that was my mom's. She gave me 3 dresses that she wore in her early 20's. Everyone remarked that they couldn't believe she ever fit into the one I wore! I reminded them that mom had quite the figure back then, although truth be told, I would never fill out the top part of a dress the way I think that she did. I also wore her pearls. She gave them to me right before I got married in 1986. They survived the marriage, the divorce, and all the other things that have happened to me since then.

We had a simple funeral all taking place at the gravesite (this was all my doing; my dad nominated me as the planner). The pall bearers walked with the casket from the hearse to the grave. In a moment of comedy, the casket needed to be spun around 180 degrees so that my mom's head would be in the correct position (I guess for a viewing the head is supposed to be opposite the headstone). I later asked my brother in law if he felt like laughing at that moment; he said not then, but then we decided this should be a new family tradition, to spin the casket one time before laying the person to rest.

The casket was opened and everyone paid their respects. I thought it would be hard for me to look upon my mom's face again, having seen it taking her last breaths of life. But it was OK, and again I was happy knowing that her suffering was over.

The priest spoke the commital prayers, some of which we prayed along with. After so many years of not attending church regularly, I still remembered them all.

The casket was closed, and most of us passed by it one last time. Then we all assembled at a restaurant for lunch, or whatever it was at that time of day. I was so hungry--just being depleted from the week of duties and travel and then there was my training--I was up to 11 hours by Friday, and I didn't even do anything on Friday! I knew I was behind on my calories, but I ate slowly and savored the presence of the others, and we shared quite a few good stories about mom.

When all was said and done, and Mike and I had dropped off my dad, I was home a little after 5PM. All I could think was that I needed rest. But it was still a beautiful day, so I took off my rings and bracelets, and headed out into my front flower bed. I left the dress on--I thought it would be fitting. I was smiling to myself thinking how tired I was, yet how good it felt to pull some weeds and get my fingers dirty. I had a beer with me. There was a nice breeze, and I felt good that the day had been so nice for my mom's honor. I then realized that I had a lot of work to do the next few days, so I went back indoors to get some more food, prepare my bike and bottles for Saturday's riding, and get some sleep.

Speaking of work, I had better get on my bike again. I'll recap the training week later today.

3 comments:

Habeela said...

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. It sounds like a beautiful funeral. And your mom sounds like a beautiful and special person.

Hope you have a good ride.

Fe-lady said...

Whew...I bet the day was tough for you and the rest of your family. Know that I am thinking of all of you...and hope you can keep up the "taper" training for your upcoming race! Keep strong!

Comm's said...

that was really nice. A simple elegant post to recap a day of rememberance.