Very Bad Girls

Cindy didn't tell me she was on the cover of Rolling Stone. I SWEAR that's her on the left. Now if only that was me on the right (sigh).

It's a good thing Cindy and I didn't go to college together. We truly would have been VERY BAD GIRLS.

Someday we will make good on one of our fantasies which is to host a talk show simply called, "The Critics." She and I would wear referree shirts and just criticize anything, anyone, anytime.

OK, so that goes against my generally Buddhist-esque ethic, but I'm entitled to a few vices every now and then, right?

Here's a short list of things Cindy and I would rail on:

• Clueless minivan drivers on cell phones
• People with too much hair. And we are not just talking about on the head.
• Women who don't know how to change a flat tire (ooh, I'm so HELPLESS!). Bike or car, take your pick!
• Anyone who is naive enough to think that all of their personal idols are absolutely clean (drug-free), God-fearing individuals
• Passive-aggressiveness
• People who don't drink coffee and act like those who do are on drugs
• People who wince when seeing either Cindy or me wearing a Crackhead shirt
• Anyone who thinks I'm too old to wear a lot of *PINK*
• Overly-PC individuals. Hey, I'm the first to admit I'm a fairly bleeding-heart liberal, but even I have my limits. I'd like to attend a bachelorette party with Chief Illiniwek doing a strip-tease, for example. Or Ricky Martin. Or Daniel Craig. Speaking of which, why aren't there James Bond bike jerseys? I would be all over that!

Today's deviation from the normally tame, triathlon-oriented subject matter is brought to you by a combination of it being spring (FINALLY!), a new bike, and getting back on the training horse!