- to have more not rotten days than rotten ones.
- to go to sleep and be thinking random happy thoughts rather than obsessing about all the things I should be doing.
- to be able to wake up in the middle of the night and think about falling back asleep peacefully
- to not feel overwhelmed all the time
- to honor the grieving process--man, I really loved my Dad, and my Mom, and losing both of them close together really sucks.
- to increase my attention span. How funny is it that sometimes a :45 workout can feel like an eternity coming from someone accustomed to 5+ hour bike rides?
- to smile just a little bit more
- to let go of more little things
- to brush off mean, insensitive and angry people
- to tell those I love and who are kind to me how much I appreciate them--huge shout outs to Cindy, Harold, B-man, Brett, Patricia, Susan, my brother Mike, my "adopted" sister Laurie, Karen (a woman I work with) and countless others
- to be able to cry and let it make me feel better rather than worse
- to remember how much I love Ironman. I started watching "golden oldies" from the 90's (Hawaii), and am loving them! I have to say, the men wore some groovy Speedos back then, and everyone looked much more laid back
- to remember what I *can* do and regain my self-confidence, but be OK with second-guessing myself and asking for help at the same time.
- to understand my limits but not be bound by them
- to remember that winter is temporary
- to be myself again
Thursday, January 03, 2008
I'm Trying
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11 comments:
Hang in there my friend!
sorry to hear about the loss of your parents.. it must be a very tough thing to go through.
lots of introspection, I suppose and perhaps more training to get you through.
heres to a very good 08
I'm sorry, I forgot to ask..
How was the experience of Triple T?? Living in Ohio, I've thought of doing that for several years. Seems like an awesome event
j.t.
Happy New Year Sheila.
Having been in hell myself, I hope you remember that people care. Listen to our voices when you most need them.
Learning what I needed to do to soothe myself was a great gift...take a bubble bath (remember Mr Bubble?? he still exists!!), color in a coloring book (with the big box of crayola crayons!!), purposely watch a movie that makes you cry, buy a pretty smelling lotion and put it on every am and pm. Those are just a few things I do.
And all those blah blah sayings really are true...there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and you WILL be stronger once you get through this.
Just hold on.....but man, doesnt real life just SUCK sometimes??!!
hugs,
Lora
Quite the rough patch, Sheila.
~~~~~~~~~~ <--- sending you some positive vibes.
Hello Sheila,
I'm reading your weblog for more than one year. I hope you're feeling better in a while. In the Netherlands, where I live, there is a saying: Na regen komt zonneschijn (After the rain there will be sun), after a bad time, there a coming better times. Different times, but also good times. My mom is 65, she misses her dad everyday (he passed away a few years ago), but she likes living.
A good 2008
Petra
THere's no reason to go through all this alone. Talk with someone. *hug*
Happy 2008 Sheila....good to hear from you!
(Wish they had tapes of IM in the 80s...now THAT would sure brighten your day and make you laugh out LOUD!)
Be good to yourself...
Glad to see you back posting. I love reading your blog, the good, the bad and the ugly!
Kim
I posted a comment a few days ago, but it doesn't appear to have gone through. Such is my life! Hang in there my friend, this too shall pass. Namaste!
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