Do the Right Thing

I'm packed up here and about to go for my last run in Orlando. I've got meetings this AM and then I fly back home. Once I get there, I have to unpack and gaze upon my new bathroom and then just try and get some sleep.

I have a friend in need right now. She is in the same position I found myself 3 weeks ago, and we need one another. She's going to come and stay with me for the weekend. We will do the things that sustain us--we will do some training, we will laugh together, and I am sure we will cry together. We are so much alike in so many ways, and it's almost like we've led parallel lives for the last 8 years. We've had successes, failures, joy, love, death, tragedy. But through all of that, we have become closer and discovered that the reason we met one another in the first place and the reason we have kept our connection is because we are both very special, unique women--the kind you don't run across every day. How many women do you know besides us who are so intelligent, energetic, talented, funny, beautiful (nah, HOT), generous, introspective and loving who have done as many Iroman races as we have? At times, putting all of that together can feel like a curse to us--on the surface, there is so much to look at and go, "Wow" but our intensity is what drives us and what can ultimately drive a wedge between us and others (men, especially) because once we know what we want, we are not going to settle for less. And why would we? Why wouldn't we expect those we hold closest to us to have our same energy level? Or the ability to keep changing and progressing and challenging ourselves, not just in our triathlon pursuits, but in our totality. Yet we are subject to the same emotional turmoil as the next person, and perhaps because of our usual intensity, we are not the sorts to let things just sit. The way we work through things is by blasting a hole in the premise. We never operate from a position of "Can I?" We operate from the position of "This is what needs to be done and even though it's a ton of work there is no other way." If it can be done, we will do it. Hell--even if someone thinks it can't be done, it can.

Even though my friend is no doubt feeling like her world is closing in on her, I want her to know that I am here to help her open it back up so all that wonderfulness that is her can bubble back up to the surface and she (and I) can relearn the lesson that we are the fucking shit, you know? Maybe that sounds asshole-ish, but I don't fucking care. I'm the shit, and so is she.

GO BIG OR GO HOME!!!

Getting a little erratic here
And I don't know who to trust
I guess they got a way of reading my mind
I guess I gotta adjust
Got my arms they flip flop flip flop flip
Got my head on a spring
Well I thought I got you on my side
I haven't got fucking anything

I'm just a face in the crowd
Nothing to worry about
Not even tryin' to stand out
I'm getting smaller and smaller and smaller
And I have nothing to say
It's all been taken away
I just behave and obey
I'm afraid I am starting to fade away

Uh-huh

I cannot see through the cracks
When I'm pressed up on the wall
I'm not looking to stand up real high
I'd be happy to crawl
I think I'm losing my grip
But I can still make a fist
You know I still got my one good arm
That I can beat...
nnn, I can beat myself up with!

I'm just a face in the crowd
Nothing to worry about
Not even tryin' to stand out
I'm getting smaller
And smaller and smaller
And I have nothing to say
Its all been taken away
I just behave and obey
I'm afraid I am starting to fade away

And for what it is worth
I really used to believe
That maybe there's some great thing
That we could achieve
And now I cant tell the difference
Don't know what to feel
Between what I've been trying so hard to see
And what appears to be real

Fading away
Fading away
Fading away
Fading away

My world is getting smaller everyday-yay-yay-yay-yay
My world is getting smaller everyday-yay-yay-yay-yay
(and thats ok)

My world is getting smaller everyday-yay-yay-yay-yay
My world is getting smaller everyday-yay-yay-yay-yay
(and thats ok)