How Am I Doing?

My version of stress overload is that I am always asking myself questions, because my self-confidence is taking a hit:

1. Am I doing OK at my job? I think so...at least one person tells me so.
   
2. Am I doing OK at my training? Too much? I probably should take a rest day, but I'm not.
   
3. Am I checking in with my friends? Do they know I care even though I'm stressed? I am trying, REALLY trying. How I feel is no excuse not to be caring towards them.
   
4. Am I doing all the things I'm being asked to do all of a sudden as Executor? Man, it's been a rough few weeks on that front. But it's getting to be that time again--the 2-year anniversary of Mom's death is approaching, and I still feel like things aren't closed on that front. Mom's memory reminds me every day to try and stay healthy. She'd probably say I'm too skinny right now. I want to get Dad's estate closed, but this ending process is freaking me out. It's been a long time, and I've carried this with me, and maybe it shouldn't feel so stressful, but it does.
   
5. Am I cultivating my family? I'm trying. I never feel like I"m doing good enough on that front. I get some quality time this weekend, which I'm really looking forward to.
   
6. Am I maintaining my integrity? I'm trying. It's hard for me to manage knowing what I should be doing all the time when I feel like I'm juggling a million things.
   
7. Am I lashing out at people because of my stress level? Somewhat. I try and remember to apologize when I can, but it would be better if I didn't need to in the first place. Boy, it would be so nice if JUST ONE THING went smoothly lately. Nothing has been like that!

My best friends all live out of town. I really need a bunch of hugs.