Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Moving Towards Something
First off, don't anyone be misled into thinking that the way *I* recover from an Ironman is normal. I train a lot, I don't taper as much as many people, I may have less stress than some people, and I know my body and what I can do. I need to continue to exercise caution lest I end up with some injury.
Why do we make such a big deal about an Ironman? Because we spend so much of our free time preparing for it. But this much I know is true--fairly soon once the race is over, nobody cares much about what time you did it in or how gargantuan of a task it seemed to be. It's now in the past, and finishing an Ironman is just nowhere near the big deal of other life events like getting married or divorced, having a baby, or experiencing the death of a loved one (I've never done the baby thing, but trust me, I observe what a big deal it is!).
Many big life events, whether you want them to or not, move you towards something. Towards a new stage in life, towards the realization you have to deal with profound emotions. Finishing a race, even an Ironman, in and of itself, moves you away from the process you were just immersed in, when considered on its own. Yet many people report that the experience of completing the race is life-changing.
I disagree. What is life-changing is what you did leading up to it. Maybe you changed your lifestyle. Maybe you took stock and simplified where you could to make room for this. Maybe in the process of your self-absorption, you fucked up one or more relationships, or maybe they were headed in that direction regardless. Maybe you made new friends that were able to accompany you along in your journey.
Soon after the race is over, we think about our finishing time, the day spent doing the race, all that good stuff I've already written about. Then our thoughts turn to what now, what did that all mean, where am I going now? As it should. And we begin the longing to move towards something again. It doesn't need to be another race, though. It can be moving back towards people and activities that were neglected during training. It can mean remembering that there is, in fact, more to life than triathlon, or perhaps in my case, it can mean I want to do more and bigger.
I fully realize that I do not fit the "normal" mold. Why I want to see how far I can take myself physically is at times a mystery to me. And that is fine. Why there are people who look at me and tell me I'm inspirational is funny to me. I am just doing something I enjoy doing for some perverse reason. Then there are people who look on me with disdain (I was actually dissed on the Slowtwitch.com forum last week for having a "LOOK AT ME" blog about my training and such), again for just being who I am. And there are those who seem to enjoy the energy of me, but fail to see or try to connect with, the actual person underneath all that. I can't control what other people think of me, and while I appreciate objective and constructive feedback on my actions, many people find it too difficult to set aside their emotional reactions to do it. I do appreciate it, though, when a close friend is able to tell me I'm acting like an ass or I'm being too hard on myself (emotionally). We can all use governors, but most of mine are inside my own head.
I knew several years ago when I began reading first person accounts by extreme endurance athletes (I don't consider myself extreme) that there were a number of personality traits that we share. It's hard for me to describe except to say that you know it when you see it. Aside from that, I have to work at "normal" things like being social, even to the extent I write this blog. While some people would rather I didn't, because it exposes a lot of the essence of me which can be scary, I keep doing it because writing helps me figure myself out, and that is effectively what I am trying to do through endurance sports. It's just my thing.
So what am I moving towards? Understanding myself and defining how the next few years of my life are going to go. I may have gotten better at this Ironman thing, but I have a ways to go in my personal life, as there I seem to make the same mistakes over and over again. Although I do learn something new each time, and at some point in your life you just accept yourself with all your faults and realize in the end we are all going to die anyway, so you may as well do things you enjoy doing just for their own sake!
I am full of all sorts of faults and there are so many things I could do better, and at heart, I am a perfectionist, and thankfully, I've learned to let go of a lot of that, otherwise I'd be a basket case! So I guess for now I will just continue to fumble along, thinking that my next big thing will help me figure out more about myself, make me feel less frightened by the world and all the hurt it can cause, and begin and end each day in a peaceful state of mind.
I had a conversation with a friend about talking to God or your spiritual higher power--whatever you want to call it. And the subject came up about asking the higher power for help or favors. During the conversation, I didn't really think so much about it, but since that time I did, and I tend not to ask for help or favors very often. It usually takes the form of "help me find the strength that I have inside myself to deal with this situation." I tend to think I draw all my energy from within myself. Yet I realize that there are a few friends that I have that act as catalysts to help me find it, and I am grateful for it.
Enough for now--I need to go and swim!
Sunday, August 02, 2009
Recovery Seems to be Going Well
Today I did an 84-mile ride at a decent pace considering the wind and all, and it felt pretty good. I sort of wanted to get to 200 miles for the week, but there was really no need for it, so I didn't extend the ride.
I feel ready to start running again. I will ease back in, though, so I don't do any damage.
While out riding today, I decided I had better modify my taper for Revenge of the PirateMan, and the training for the next several weeks, because it is going to be bigger and badder than just an Ironman, and so although I will still taper for 2 weeks, it will be less than I typically would do for an Ironman taper.
By the way, if anyone wants my training program (built by moi) for the last year, shoot me an email and I'll be happy to send it to you. While riding today, I was thinking about the things that contributed to a pretty good Ironman race this time around:
- I cut my TV watching way back, eventually to nothing, resulting in sleeping more.
- I quit wearing underwear in May. Good luck? I don't know, but it must be relevant!
- I did all that extra stuff February through April--pushups, pullups, crunches and jump rope. It seems as if it gave me more overall stamina than ever before. I plan to start that back up after ROTPM, because I will need boatloads of stamina for all the crap that I am planning to do!
- I got my weight (and probably bodyfat) as far down as I think I can go, slowly, without losing power on the bike or speed on the run. Yes, it probably affected my swimming somewhat (I sink like a rock, literally), but oh well, I can deal with that. I think it also made me even more aerodynamic on Bitch. I swear I can cut through wind even better now just because I present so little for it to mess with.
- I started riding hills earlier in the season. Early May, to be specific.
- The power meter quit working on Bitch. So I had to go old school and just push myself on speed and cadence only. I can pretty much tell how much power I am putting out, as it worked out pretty well at IMLP.
- I had 2 unplanned "rest" periods--last November after I fucked up my back during remodeling, and end of May when I was sick for 2 weeks with sinus infection, virus, you name it.
- The worst 3 years of my life were over finally--Mom died, Dad died, and I got most of the Estate crap finished.
- I ended up running "a little extra" whenever I felt like I could. More is more!
- I swam a lot of yards with the paddles on. Which strengthens the traps and romulins (as I like to call the rhomboids), which helps with aero position and maintaining good form while running.
- I spent a lot of time biking with an iPod given to me last year for a birthday present by my friend, Susan. I am very much into "keeping up with the music," and since I tend to listen to fairly fast dance/house music, this helped me just always pedal faster.
- Once I was in the 12-week Ironman build period, I was sleeping like a champion and also eating properly, including lots of green salads and veggies, which are supposed to provide all sorts of antioxidants, and while I don't take vitamins (I rely on the huge does in Endurox R4 that I use for recovery drink), I think the natural foods are key.
- I kept up my stretching, trigger point work and weekly massage.
I went to a craft store yesterday and I think I cleaned them out of pirates!
I am starting to plan my training from ROTPM through Ultraman Canada (and even CheaterMan 2010!!!), and boy oh boy is this going to be a trip. Just writing down that I need to swim 8,000 meters all at once is kind of daunting. Double long runs and double long rides (at least I've been doing the double long rides for years). How am I going to fit this all in? I have no idea except that I will be up very early on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays for a very long time.
I am looking forward to ROTPM and then my first 50-mile run ever and then Goofy Challenge. Alas, it's not like I am going to have any off season this fall/winter to speak of. I am moving from one thing to the next. Oh well, this is all going to be a helluva ride, right?
Friday, July 31, 2009
Ironman USA Lake Placid 2009 Race Report
Days Leading up to the Race (Wednesday through Saturday)
I drove to LP on Wednesday, 7/22, with my friend Brad, who would be doing his first Ironman. I guess I forgot how long it took to drive there because I told him 11 hours, but between a slight delay in customs getting into Canada and then traffic through Toronto and its suburbs, it took more like 16 hours on the way there (please note we PR’ed on the drive back by almost 2 hours!). Also we needed to stop to eat a few times, and McDonald’s was the choice, being quick, easy and predictable. While I typically don’t eat there except after very long rides or an Ironman or marathon, I was perfectly OK with that.
At some point on the way there, there was a dead coyote on the road. I pointed it out, and Brad (somewhat jokingly) said he thought it was a wallaby. I got a good laugh about this and throughout the drive one of us would periodically bring up the wallabies and their habits. I guess you had to be there for that one!
Also at some point, since we were seeing a lot of trucks, I wondered out loud what would happen if a truck were carrying balloons, and how it would get through customs. “What are you carrying?” “Balloons.” Again, guess you had to be there.
We also saw the aftermath of a bad collision in northern Michigan. As we passed by the carnage, there was a totaled car with someone inside receiving an IV, and they were just beginning to cut him/her out of the car. There was another car that was overturned, and I think two more on the side of the road that had been involved. Brad and I hoped the person receiving the IV was going to be OK, although probably a lot of recovery would be needed. Something like that makes you stop and think…and since we were on the way to do an Ironman, we thought that “that guy” is going to have MANY bad days, whereas we might have A bad day. Kind of puts things in perspective.
When we got to the rental house (the same one I stayed in last year), Brad camped out since his parents weren’t arriving until the next day, and that would be when he would go and stay with them. I think we crashed pretty hard (I had a beer first), and there was no alarm clock set, but I got up around 7:30 and announced I was going for a swim. I think we made it into the lake just after 9:00AM, and we each swam a loop (1.2 miles). It is always nice to just go and swim in Mirror Lake (this was my 4th time at Lake Placid) without all the race day traffic.
Next, we went and registered and got bagged and tagged. While in line, we met a man who had done Ironman Nice 3 weeks before. At one point, it came up that he had done some ultrarunning as well, so I asked him if I needed to do conventional training for a 50-mile race, and he said no. That sort of validated my thoughts that if I just want to finish, I should have enough endurance to run 10-11 hours all at once, right?
Someone I know from blogging, Tom, spotted me right before I got to the front of my registration line. It was great to meet him (he was doing his first Ironman). He recognized me from my blog, although I was fully clothed, so not sure how that happened ;)
I weighed in at 111 on their scale, and figure 2 pounds were the normal “not just having woken up” pounds from coffee and such, and maybe 1 more from starting to reintroduce carbs into my diet. Even so, this would be my lightest “official” race weight. I’d been weighing in at 107-108 for the past 8 weeks or so and felt great.
Before we left the high school, I met a woman in my age group who as it turns out, knows a friend of Brad’s mom! Small world it truly is! She beat me handily and had a great race. I saw her after our finishes, and I was really happy for her. She’s a much better runner than I am (which isn’t that difficult to achieve!).
Next we went to the expo and bought a few things, then it was back to the house. I had to get a new tubie put on Bitch since my bike shop had put the wrong size tire on the rear wheel back home and it wouldn’t clear the rear seat stay. Luckily, my friends from Elite Bicycles were set up about 1.5 blocks from the house, so I suited up to run and took my wheel with me. My little :30 run felt just wonderful—I was running all these little hills and just enjoying the heck out of it! I still wasn’t making any predictions for race day, though. Brad also utilized the Elite guys for some work on his bike, and then finally we walked a few blocks and got some sandwiches.
Brad left to join up with his parents, and then Shelley, her son Eric, and her SO, Steve arrived. I hadn’t seen Shelley since early last December, and I hadn’t seen Eric since CheaterMan (Ironman Florida), so it was all good. I had met Steve at Triple T but didn’t get to spend much time with him due to all the hoopla.
The housemates went to dinner at Tale of the Pup. That is my favorite restaurant in Lake Placid! I drank a beer bigger than my head (see the Flickr pics) and had some BBQ chicken, and it was all good!
We all slept in on Thursday, and that was great because I’d been sleeping 9-10 hours a night for several weeks now. Note to self and anyone else doing this: in the last few weeks leading up to a big race like this, sleep is probably the best thing you can do to recover from all the hard training while you are tapering. I don’t think I’d ever slept so much before an Ironman, and well, you know how this one turned out!
Shelley and I went to swim on Friday morning, and she went off and did some stuff while I went and got my bike tuned up prior to a short ride. I rode the run course plus a little extra and had a great time. I kept thinking about how this was the last time I would be here (as far as I know) and my last regular Ironman (but you know that will change, right?), and so I was trying to suck up every little bit of experience. After I biked, I did another short little run (my last before the big day), and again, it felt great. I wasn’t sure about my biking legs, but my running legs felt ready for punishment!
On Friday afternoon, Marci and her twin sister, Julie, arrived. Marci was coming in to volunteer so she could get premium signup for the 2010 race, and her sister came along to experience an Ironman. Shelley and Steve went to the pasta dinner on Friday, and Eric, Marci, Julie and I went to Tale of the Pup (did I say I love that place?) for dinner.
Usually I make my T1 and T2 bags on Friday—it is sort of a religious experience for me—complete with calming music, I need to be alone, and I obsess for about an hour. But this time, I was leaving that task for Saturday.
We all slept in Friday night (10.5 hours for me!), and while my training schedule said to go do a really short swim and run, I decided I would do neither. I made my T1 and T2 bags, assuming it would rain as predicted. The weather had said 80% chance of rain with highs in the 80’s, and while I wasn’t too keen on rain like last year, I figured at least I would be ready for it this time.
I checked my bike in around 1PM, riding down by myself and setting up. There was nothing to do to my bike except deflate the tires (I did hear some others exploding while walking to drop off my bags), and then walk back to the house. Someone was handing out free tiny blueberry muffins on my way back, and I took one for a nice snack. I’d been sipping Gatorade throughout the day to start sodium loading, and was starting to feel a little bloaty, which is exactly what I would expect.
I tried to nap a little on Saturday afternoon, but it just didn’t come as I was getting a little excited. On Saturday evening, Shelley made a kick-ass dinner for all of us in the house, and I chowed down on spaghetti with shrimp and marinara sauce, and Shelley’s special garlic bread. I ended up drinking 3 beers.
While I went to bed early, I don’t think I fell asleep before midnight. There was too much food in my belly, which made me hot, and then I just started thinking about things. But I wasn’t worried—I had sleep in the bank, and the night before doesn’t really matter.
Race Morning
Of course, the first thing I did was turn on the Weather Channel. It looked like we might or might not get rained on! At least the early morning temperature was nice—around 65. I figured that if it was going to rain, it would be warm rain, and so I wasn’t too concerned about hypothermia.
I drank my Ultrafuel and ate a Powerbar Triple Threat and had some coffee. Yum! The taste of a huge workout! I put on my bike shorts, bra top and pirate singlet. I’d never worn the pirate thing before, so that was kind of exciting. I started following my checklist to make sure I didn’t forget to do anything or take anything with me to transition, and it was like clockwork.
Brad had stayed the night, as I’d offered this to him seeing as how his parents were all the way in Keene, which is on the bike course, but a ways from transition. It was fun and interesting, as always, watching Brad and Shelley go through their pre-race rituals.
Steve droved the 3 of us racers down to transition, and after stopping to drop off our special needs bags, we walked down to transition and dispersed. I had not brought a pump with me, so I borrowed someone else’s for the first time ever, I think. I set up my bike, got my wetsuit and swim stuff ready to go, and went and found Brad to see how he was doing, which was pretty much fine. The time always goes so quickly once it’s race morning!
The Swim
The sky was threatening, although it hadn’t rained overnight. Brad and I walked down to the swim start, and then it started drizzling. I was thinking, oh fuck, repeat of last year, but it stopped as quickly as it started, and I stopped for one last potty break in the swim house. While I was in there, it rained again, but briefly.
I’d decided I’d line up sort of in the back but not far back this year, and I was in the middle from left to right. It all happened so quickly, and then finally, you hear the BOOM and we are off. I started swimming, no hyperventilation—just jockeying for position, knowing this would be a long swim. I’m not a fast swimmer, but I can swim economically, which is fine by me for now (I will take some lessons for Ultraman), so I just plowed through as best I could. I didn’t get too beat up and wasn’t at all surprised at my time when I came out for the first and then the second loop. I never felt tired, and don’t think I swallowed any water, although it was close on that a few times! It did rain while we were swimming, and I later heard it was pretty hard for about 10 minutes, and while I remember being pelted slightly by raindrops, what the fuck, I was pretty wet already and it didn’t matter! At the time, I didn’t think about oh crap what if it rains all day—I just kept swimming. I managed to pee twice really well while swimming, which was good, because I didn’t want to have to stop once I got out of the water, and I always have to pee during and after any training swim!
When I got out of the water, the sky looked pretty nice and I was hoping for a good weather day. Things were pretty methodical—find and point at a wetsuit stripper, get this thing off, now run to transition! I am always surprised at the people who just sort of stop. A person can make up valuable time in transition, so I just started running, calling “on your left” a few times, as it’s a good hike to the tents.
T1
When I got to the changing tent, I had a volunteer all to myself, so things went pretty fast. I made a spot decision to not put on the bike jersey or jacket, so it was just socks, shoes, helmet, sunglasses (fogged up because there was so much water in the tent) and race belt. I had to take my sunglasses off to run to my bike because I couldn’t see, and it sucked that there was so much water on the ground, but oh well, the race goes on!
I got my bike and it was all wet, but so was I so it didn’t matter. As usual, when I got to the mount line, people were spazzing out all over the place, so I paid attention and got on and got to pedaling, noticing right away that I had almost zero brakes because of the rain. Oh well, I am not winning this thing—I just want to have a good ride and get out of town safely!
The Bike
We ride down two short, steep hills, and people do amazing stupid things there, but I avoided crashing and started out of town. My legs felt fantastic! Plus it didn’t seem there was any wind, the temp was perfectamundo, and I had met or beat my anticipated T1 time plus swim! So all was good.
Right away there were people blocking, and I had to yell at a few to cut it out—either finish your pass or drop back. Not like we are supposed to ride the center of the road! I’ve done this course 3 times before, so I was pretty familiar with the climbs and such, and was smart on the gradual climb out of town, but man, it was feeling easy!
It wasn’t raining, and by the time I got to the descent into Keene, the road was pretty dry, so it was bomb on down! As always, I was a little scared, but I didn’t brake too much and enjoyed the hell out of the coasting. I didn’t look at my speed, because I know that if I did it would scare me.
After we finished that and started heading towards Jay, I was like, fuck this weather is amazing and it’s not windy and I got a pretty good cruise on. And I just kept drinking my Infinit and water, and stayed aero pretty much the entire time. At the first climb into Wilmington, it got really crowded, and somehow I ended up between 2 pretty big guys (although most people are big compared to me), and asked how they were doing, and they said fine, and one of them asked me how I was doing, and I said, “I am practicing being small!” And after that, I went ahead of them on the climb. I guess they didn’t get my joke.
When we got to the out and back in Hazelton, I powered past many people, being careful to avoid downed bottles and assorted bike parts, and really enjoyed this part of the course. On the way in, I stopped at a porta potty to pee, and a little while later, there were 2 little bumps in the road that I took my left hand off the aerobar to point out to someone behind me, and I ended up turning the front wheel, and good thing I was thinking and put my hand back on the bars and straightened it out and didn’t crash! I really thought I was going to go down for a split second there, but was happy to pull it out and kept riding.
Then we come out of there and soon start the big climb next to Whiteface Mountain, which seems to go on forever. But I was just patient and spun, and when I wasn’t climbing, it seemed my RPM’s were about 100-105 in the big chainring, which is all good.
When I came upon the set of hills at the end of the loop known as Little Cherry, Big Cherry, Baby Bear, Mama Bear and Papa Bear, I was like what the fuck these are NOTHING! I guess all the other hill riding I’d done this year kicked in and all I could think was that these just weren’t that big of a deal, and they weren’t.
The Ergomo on Bitch doesn’t give me accurate watts, so I just relied on feel and cadence/speed. I had ridden the Ironman Wisconsin course 3 weeks earlier in 6:25 and ran well off the bike, and I was on a similar pace at the end of the first loop, so I figured I was doing what I was capable of.
Just about finishing lap 1 I saw Shelley pulled over talking to Steve. While I was worried, I didn’t stop and just kept pedaling through since I had my own race to run. I knew Shelley would understand.
Coming into town, you are surrounded by spectators, and it’s flat or downhill, so you want to go fast. I almost bought it into a right-hand turn into a chute, and once again, I saved myself from going down and was laughing hysterically to myself because I am doing this shit in an Ironman!
As we headed back out of town on the long climb, I immediately assessed myself. Mentally it’s always hard to start another loop when you just finished one that isn’t exactly easy. I could sort of feel my quads and was worried I might slow down a lot, but as it turned out, once I got into things for about 15 minutes, I felt just fine. What you notice on double loop Ironman courses like IMLP and IMWI is that a lot of people lose the will to pedal all the time on downhills and flats once they are on the second loop. It just means they went too hard on the first loop, and I felt good that I could still motor on.
The second descent into Keene I took a little more conservatively—there was a touch of wind, but I guess I just wanted to relax a little bit. But as soon as it was over, I got back to diligent work in getting to Jay, and the winds were still favorable in there and my speed was pretty good. I stopped at an aid station that I utilized 2 years ago that’s pretty big and has a big turnout for cars. I peed in the porta potty and while in there I assessed my legs and they still felt pretty darn good!
The second climb into Wilmington went like clockwork, the Hazelton out and back was a little windier than the first time through but nothing bad, and then the second climb next to Whiteface seemed to take longer, but it was just mental at this point. Some guy was next to me for a bit, and I asked him if he knew the name of the climb. He said no, so I told him: LAMFC. He asked what that stands for, and I said it: LONG ASS MOTHER FUCKING CLIMB! I was laughing, but I guess he didn’t get that I was trying to be funny. I guess some people just have no sense of humor during an Ironman, but I have all sorts of silly thoughts in my head that keep me going, as much of the time I’m thinking what a dumbass I am for doing this in the first place!
And then I remembered I had some of Dad’s ashes with me. Whereas last year at this point I was totally miserable from being rained on all day and going slow on descents and peeing constantly, today I felt just fabulous, so I took the crack baggie out of my Bento box, opened it with my teeth, kept pedaling and let Dad’s ashes blow in the wind, and I was smiling the entire time!
After that climb ended, we hit the fruit and the Care Bears (as I like to call them), and nothing was a big deal for the second time, only now I am starting to think about running as I head into transition. I kept on motoring the last ½ mile to get there, and was starting to think I might have a good day if I can just run.
T2
At the dismount line, someone took my bike and I started running with my shoes on, but thought I could care less about the socks I’m wearing, so I took the shoes off and ran in my socks and my feet immediately felt better. Typically, the balls of my feet hurt around 80 or 90 miles into a ride, and today was no exception, but I’ve learned that they will feel just fine once I get the bike shoes off.
Note to self and other people training for Ironman: I would recommend you do some swim/bike bricks that include a rather long swim (say 3500 yards) followed by a 3+ hour ride, so your body understands what it’s like to subject your upper back to swimming and then aero position for a long period of time. While I didn’t have trouble with this, I will say that my upper back could have felt better upon starting the run, so this is just a heads up.
Into the tent, and once again I had a personal volunteer who was AWESOME. She dumped out my bag, I took off my bike shorts, put run shorts on, changed socks (using my bike shorts to wipe the dirt/sand/rocks off my feet first), running shoes on, helmet off, running shoes on, and out I go.
The Run
I tried valiantly to hold myself back but was running about 10mpm right away (my goal pace was 10:53). There’s 3 downhills right out of town, and this year I have really learned how to get downhill fast, and today was no exception. I figured my quads are already beat to shit, so why not keep going on that? I was taking small little steps, and felt like I was barely moving, but I was moving forward, and I was about 1.5 miles into River Road when I saw Brad on the other side. I didn’t expect to see him, and all I said was, “How are you doing?” He replied, “This sucks ass.” I just smiled and said, “I told you it would.” Hey, it’s an Ironman, not a stroll through the park! But still I was sad to see him walking, but continued on my way.
I ran the whole first loop (13.1 miles) pretty well and was feeling strong. I don’t remember when I passed Brad, but he later said he saw me running up IGA Hill and wanted to try and catch me but couldn’t because he was cramping up so bad. As I got into the second loop, my belly felt distended, which again is normal in an Ironman, but I soldiered on through about Mile 17, and then I could start to feel the sloshing in my stomach and it started making me slow down. Meanwhile, I was getting all sorts of love from the crowd because of my pirate garb, which kept me smiling through the rough moments. Sometimes a spectator or volunteer (and the volunteers were AWESOME) would give me an “Argggh,” but I always had to top them with an “ARGGGGGGGHHH!” Also, sometimes a spectator would say, “YOU CAN DO IT!” And my reply would be, “I AM doing it!” There was nothing to think about most of the time except the current moment.
I noticed that I hadn’t peed since about mile 70 of the bike, and that’s not normal for me. I pulled up the pirate singlet and it was then I realized that I never run in clothes like I was wearing! I always have shorts rolled down below my belly button and a bra top and maybe a loose singlet. Still, I guess I figured I should just be able to tough it out, but now I was wanting to puke. I think maybe I was drinking too much, as I typically can manage an hour of running on 12 oz. Of fluid, so I probably overdid it. Still I succumbed to the desire to walk and started feeling sorry for myself. I think it was about at Mile 21 that I decided fuck this, I am making myself puke, so I searched for a suitable hideout, found it and once I started all the liquid came out of my gut and I immediately felt better. Later after the finish, some guy said he saw me puking and that I was running well! How nice!
Anyway, once that was done, OMG my legs still hurt like motherfuckers, but I decided I was running the rest of the way, and I should have counted all the people I passed because I really picked up my pace. And I just kept going, just walking a little on the bridge and up IGA hill because both felt pretty steep at the time, and when I got to the out and back near the finish line, I was like I am just going, and I was getting a lot of encouragement from the crowd because I had my bib up front now, and I just kept passing people and thinking I gotta get my PR. Shortly after I got in there, I remembered I had some of Dad’s ashes in my running shorts, so I took them out and held on because hey, he has gotten me through some major shit in my life, and now it was time to ask him one more time. And just like last year, whenever I would pass someone I would want to tell them, “You are being passed by a dead guy!” But I didn’t. I just smiled and pressed on.
I knew already I would PR for IMLP, but now I needed to go under 13:21, which was my prior best ever which was at Ironman Canada in 2004 (the IMC course is MUCH easier than IMLP). So I was hustling, and seeing that last sign that says “finishers to right” is such a trip, and it was still light out, and now you run into the speed skating oval, and some people were slowing down here I guess to enjoy the crowd, but I was on a mission, so I kept passing people, and into the final turn I could see I had the chute all to myself, and while I don’t remember much about it, I just sprinted my ass over the finish line in 13:14:59! I realized I had blown my “best case” goal of 13:00, and that it was a result of walking maybe 15 minutes total when my stomach felt like hell, but oh well, still got the IMLP PR and felt I had executed a fairly solid race.
I collected my finisher’s hat, shirt and medal, and headed off towards some pizza. I ran into my former coach, Rich Strauss, and he gave me a big hug, I told him it was a PR, much smiling and then he looks at me and says, “Wow are you tan!” For some reason, I couldn’t put this together with just having finished an Ironman. In my head, I was very confused, but in a good way!
I got some pizza and water, then I got my first post-Ironman massage (they had LOTS of therapists working), then went back to get a finisher photo and wanted to see Brad and Shelley finish. But I guess I missed Brad, and then I really wanted a shower, and noticed that my bags were already gone (Steve had picked them up), so I decided I’d just walk home. Right outside the oval, I found Brad and his family, and we chatted up, and then Brad, his Dad and I walked back to my place. Brad needed to leave his bike there anyway, and it was a nice walk and a good thing to do so we didn’t stiffen up too badly.
Back at the house I had 2 beers, some fudge and a few Cheetos and called it a night, but not before Shelley returned (she figured out I had left the transition area), and we shared hugs, and Shelley told her own story on her blog, so I won’t go into it here.
I wasn’t as elated as I’d expected, I supposed because it’s been drilled into my head that Ironman is all about execution, and I did feel like I executed pretty well except for the stupid idea of wearing stuff on the run (which is where you will be most impacted) that I’d never worn before. But I know I was all smiles, and despite all the caffeine I’d taken in, I fell asleep pretty quickly.
The Aftermath
I’m going to stop here, because the next day and drive back are pretty uninteresting. The fun thing is that I am planning my training for Ultraman Canada already! I can’t apply for 2010 yet, so I need to be patient, and I’m really looking forward to Revenge of the PirateMan, since I want to be able to put that (they do ask you about "other major endurance activities" besides actual races) plus my recent Ironman PR on the application form! It is SO exciting to be planning for something where I have no idea how I am going to fit in all the training (well I do have some idea), and to be thinking about how I should structure my training to achieve both the endurance and yet not lose too much speed.
And oh, yeah, I said IMLP would be my last “regular” Ironman, but maybe not so much…I am already thinking about IMFL 2010, seeing as how if I finish Ultraman Canada, doing “just an Ironman” a few months later should be a snap, right?
Thanks for reading!
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Working on the Race Report
In the meantime, here are my race pics and here are miscellaneous pics. Enjoy!
Monday, July 27, 2009
Quick IMLP Race Report
The day started ominously with some rain before the swim start and weather predictions for maybe rain. But it poured I guess for 10 minutes during the swim (I barely noticed) and then didn't really rain the rest of the day, so I was happy. It actually turned out to be my ideal racing weather for an IM, and I was grateful the entire day.
I had some stomach issues on the run, but when I finally made myself puke, I felt better and was able to run the last 4.2 miles pretty well. I PR'ed on the bike, but my run was the same as in 2007, which was my prior IMLP PR.
Even though I am talking with people about other IM's, and sure, I'm VERY tempted, I am not signing up for anything anytime soon! I need to finish Revenge of the PirateMan and then think about what happens next. If it's Ultraman Canada, well, it is going to mean a whole lot of training every single weekend.
But right now I am just trying to recover a bit (albeit rehydrating with BEER!) so I can drive home tomorrow and get back at something on Wednesday.
I am SO grateful that I have enough fitness to finish these bad boy races, and I guess I do OK at them. Of course I'd like to be faster, but I was born for endurance, not speed--and so I will step it up a bit in about 6 weeks, right?
I had a FANTASTIC time with Shelley, and I don't know when I will see her next, so that is a little bittersweet, and we are both a little sad over leaving Lake Placid, but life moves on, and we will both move on to other things.
Yes, I got sucked into tons of finisher swag, but hey, it's my last Ironman, so all good, right?
I will write up everything I can remember probably on Wednesday throughout the day. As always, there were many amazing moments yesterday, and I will always cherish them all.
It's over and out now, as I have to be packed for an early departure tomorrow morning. It feels like I've just lost like a week of my life, but what I gained in that time is immeasurable.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
It's that Time Again...
My T1 and T2 bags are packed, and I'll be heading down to check them and my bike into transition soon enough.
My legs feel pretty rested, as do I, but my mind is not. The weather could still be anything tomorrow...and I will take what comes, as that is all that I can do. While I have a theoretical best time in mind, I will be OK just finishing tomorrow, as I have been with every other Ironman that I have done.
I'm taking some of Dad's ashes with me again...as I learned at Rockman in June, he is very helpful in getting me up hills, and there will be plenty of them tomorrow!
Lake Placid was my first Ironman, and so it shall be my last (organized, that is!). A lot has happened in the 8 years in between. I have changed in ways I never conceived of, and I hope to continue to change and grow.
I know one thing for sure--I will learn something else about myself tomorrow. How exciting!
Monday, July 20, 2009
Weekly Workout Totals 7/13/2009-7/19/2009 and Last Rites before IMLP
I did what I guess you could call a triathlon yesterday--1700 yard swim yard, 40-mile bike hard and :30 brick run pretty hard. At least it all felt hard at the time, and I was a bit tired from it all. I thought I had the Ergomo dialed in on Bitch, but I have to just assume it is not going to read watts accurately on race day, which is fine. I'm at the point where I basically know what my effort is, and besides, I am just going to let it all hang out this time!
I "officially" started in on my packing yesterday, which meant making a big pile of triathlon crap in my family room where most of my gear lives, started a clothing pile in my spare bedroom, organized my packing list to eliminate stuff I don't need, changed my bed and did laundry, washed dishes and drank a lot of beer. I would switch between feeling completely amped and then exhausted. Part of me just wants to sleep and wake up and it's over--the other part, of course, realizes that hey, I've put in all this training time we may as well do a race.
It's during taper that the craziness of Ironman training is in stark relief to "regular" life. When I have rest time on my hands, I wonder what "normal" people are doing and so what I should be doing. And yet it's not what I want to do. After I ran on Saturday, I was like wtf, I barely worked out. Same thing yesterday.
I got to thinking yesterday that I feel differently during this taper than I ever have before. Sure there is some of the whacky feelings, the adrenaline buzz, and all that, but it seems to be on top of a much calmer person. Maybe it's because I know I have something even bigger coming up and the rules of my game are going to change for the first time in 10 years. Maybe because it's taken me 12 Ironmans to reach this state. Maybe I am actually more fit than I have ever been. Maybe I am not worried about how well I do or don't do. Maybe it's because it's my last "official" Ironman (as far as I know as of today!). Whatever it is, I am enjoying it. I am sure this will all change in a few days, as I will be traveling with someone who is doing their FIRST Ironman.
Last night I decided I had better start waking up early since I am going to change time zones in a few days, so this morning I got up and made it to the outdoor pool for an easy 2200 meters. Boy did it feel easy! And short! But that is exactly how it should have felt, much like yesterday's 1500 straight went by in a flash. It was another cool morning, so I had to wear long sleeves on the bike, but I enjoyed every minute of it. I will do a short run later on, maybe get a core workout in, and then I'm getting my last massage before the race this afternoon.
As I do each thing "the last time before the race" I am very aware of it in the moment. My longest run before the race. My longest swim before the race. Last massage. Last sleep in my own bed (tomorrow night). Last Twinkie (that was 2 weeks or so ago!) before the race. Last swim at the outdoor pool (tomorrow morning). And then I'll get to Lake Placid, and there will be more lasts. And then it will be race day, and it will be NOW.
And then I will wake up the next day and start thinking about all the FIRSTS. First swim after the race, first ride, first run, longest ride, and then I'll have a couple of weeks and go through it all again before Revenge of the PirateMan!
Unbelievably, this is the 5th time I'll be doing a double. Isn't that crazy? ME. Hell, I was amazed I finished my first Ironman, and I am still amazed at myself that I've kept doing them, and done doubles. Sometimes I think what is wrong with me that I want to do this, and then I think I am so lucky I get to do this.
It is all good. All of it!
Now just for the helluva it below are my totals for last week, and I've included the season totals, so you can see how much I've put in to get here today. It's all been just wonderful, all the training I've been able to do since my last Ironman which was a NothingMan back in September, 2008, and the journey from there to now has been one of the best of my life! I wonder what these numbers will look like about a year from now when I am tapering for Ultraman Canada?
| Weekly Workout Totals | 07/13/2009-07/19/2009 This week's totals are sponsored by the Ironman USA Lake Placid! |
| Swim: | 14100 yards (8 miles) in 4.7 hours; 32% of weekly workout time; approx. 1645 calories burned Canadian: 12893.04 meters |
| Bike: | Approx. 95.62 miles in 5.32 hours; 37% of weekly workout time; approx. 2930 calories burned; Total TSS=362 Canadian: 153.89 kilometers |
| Run: | Approx. 24.31 miles in 3.53 hours; 24% of weekly workout time; approx. 1594 calories burned Canadian: 39.12 kilometers |
| Strength: | 0.97 hours; 7% of weekly workout time; approx. 243 calories burned |
| All Sports: | Approx. 127.93 miles in 14.52 hours; approx. 6412 calories burned Canadian: 14.52 kilometers |
| Sleep: | 9.43 hours avg./night |
| Stretching: | 2.17 hours. Massage: 1 hours |
| Season Totals | 09/15/2008-07/19/2009 |
| Swim: | 389412 yards (221.01 miles) in 135.03 hours |
| Bike: | Approx. 4812.41 miles in 267.79 hours |
| Run: | Approx. 1186.24 miles in 180.76 hours |
| Strength: | 49.05 hours |
| All Sports: | Approx. 6219.66 miles in 632.63 hours; approx. 280663 calories burned |
| Stretching: | 86.1 hours. Massage: 44 hours |
| Season Weekly Averages | 09/15/2008-07/19/2009 |
| Swim: | 8850 yards (5.02 miles) in 3.07 hours |
| Bike: | Approx. 109.37 miles in 6.09 hours |
| Run: | Approx. 26.96 miles in 4.11 hours |
| Strength: | 1.11 hours |
| All Sports: | Approx. 141.36 miles in 14.38 hours |
| Sleep: | 7.59 hours avg./night |
| Stretching: | 1.96 hours avg./week. Massage: 1 hours avg./week |
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Taper Going Well!
Now you might want to attribute this to a taper, but in terms of overall training time, I was at 10 hours by the end of yesterday. 10+ during the week is pretty good no matter what, although the running has gone down a bit. Still, I felt like I should have done another workout yesterday after the swim, and that's a good thing.
I've been spending a lot of my swim time using the paddles, as per advice I received sometime this winter while at one of the indoor sprint triathlons (thank you to whoever you are that suggested I do that!). So for at least the last 5 or so weeks, I've swam anything from 900-2000 yards or meters with the paddles in almost every swim workout I've done. It makes you strong, no doubt about that! I think it is also helping me slowly correct my hand entry, which has always been a problem with me (among my swim issues, that is!). If you don't get your hand entry correct when swimming so much with paddles, well, you can really jack up your shoulders, and I have had zero issues with that.
I slept another glorious 10 hours last night. The weather has been quite cool, and what else am I going to do with all this time on my hands except sleep? Plenty...but I'll get to it later. Today called for a 1:15 run, which was supposed to be done like this:
25' Steady
20' Half marathon pace
2x10' (2') @ 10K pace
5' easy
Fuck that, I decided to JFR (Just Fucking Run). Still I tried to hold back on the first mile or 2 since I'd only finished breakfast about an hour before I took off. I wanted to puke, I really did, and this was good, because I think it forced me to hold back just a little bit. But after 2 miles, I had wheels and just went with it, trying to hold a decent steady pace. I didn't have any heavy leg feelings--it actually felt good to run today!
I had also laced up a brand new pair of running shoes this morning. I had started a different pair a few days ago, but the tongue on the left shoe rubbed against my ankle making it bleed, and I can't have that in an IM, so I picked a different pair and they worked out just fine.
I got my pre-race Brazilian wax after my run, and now I'm just chilling. I will do a bit of yard work and then start organizing all my crap for IMLP. Thank GOD I get to ride a couple of hours tomorrow (and do a brick run and a short swim) otherwise I'd go absolutely crazy! While I am enjoying my rest, there is a certain amount of weekly exercise that makes me feel good and sharp, and 14.5 hours doesn't really cut it during the summer! But I am observing the taper as I should, since I know that I do need the rest. No matter how you slice it, an Ironman is going to put the hurt to me, and I want some energy in the bank before I start!
I am looking SO forward to seeing my BFF, Shelley, and we are going to enjoy this time together as we each do our last "sanctioned" Ironman, as it will mean the beginning of new things for both of us! And of course, please everyone pray to the LP weather gods for no rain on race day--anything else will be a pure joy, I think!
Friday, July 17, 2009
It's on the Way
IMLP, that is.
This morning I swam 5,000 meters at the outdoor pool. About an hour after I got home, I checked my records, and I guess that is the first time I've swum that far! It's still only half the Ultraman distance of 10,000 meters, but I didn't feel the least bit tired, and know that I can work my way up to the full distance.
It is always a good feeling to do something I've never done before!
In other news, I figured out why my Wednesday run was crappy, and yesterday's brick run was a bit of a struggle, too. I have been eating significantly less carbs than I was a week earlier. Now, even though I will get in maybe 14 hours of training during this taper week, in my head, I am doing almost NOTHING, and so I am not having the cravings for rice and pasta. But I thought I should do something differently when I weighed myself and I was all of 106 lbs.
Even though I drank a can of Ultra Violence before I ran yesterday, it wasn't enough to load me up to do a 1:15 ride and :30 run. The ride went fine, but on the run my legs were heavy again, and it finally occurred to me that I was a bit early in a carb loading regimen. I guess I've been depleting myself to the point where I can go maybe 1:30 hard. Which is what happened Wednesday.
So last night I had some pasta, and then right before I went to sleep I ate an entire bag of Gummi Bears, and when I woke up this morning (no issues bounding out of bed and I slept well), I felt like I should be good for a 3-mile swim.
It was maybe 57 degrees when I was leaving to ride to the pool, so I wore a long-sleeved technical shirt under my t-shirt. I was chilly on the ride over! But the ride warmed me up, and the pool felt great--obviously it was warmer than the air!
I did the 5,000 as 800 warmup (various stuff), then 4x1000 with 30" (about) rest, 200 kick. My last 2 1000's were faster than the first 2--I was playing around with my hand entry and then my turnover. OMG I found out I actually can do a higher turnover than usual!
Anyway, I didn't feel tired or anything after the swim, dried off really well and dried my hair for the ride home since it was still chilly out.
After IMLP but before ROTPM, I am going to go for a 6,000 meter swim. Just to do it! That will be a good confidence boost for when I formally start building up to the 10,000 meters for Ultraman Canada next year. Only problem is I will need to find a pool that gives me 4 hours of uninterrupted lap time, so I may need to split it across 2 swims. Oh well!
I am organizing for IMLP packing, planning out next year, planning my training between IMLP and ROTPM, and it's all a bit overwhelming. Good thing I don't need to ride 100 miles this weekend! I will get on my packing starting tomorrow afternoon after a short (1:10) run, swim and pre-race wax (!), in case there's anything I need to go and buy (which I doubt but you never know), and then Sunday is just a 2-hour ride, :30 run and it's all over but the driving to IMLP, and I leave on Wednesday.
I am excited about going to IMLP for my last time to race, to spend time with Shelley and her son, Eric, and to hopefully have a great last "official" Ironman. I have already been asked what's next after I complete Ultraman next year, and I have no idea, but I'm sure something will come to me.
Right now, the focus is on the Sunday one week from this coming one. And then recovering and ramping back up for ROTPM.
As exciting as all of this may sound, I am keeping my excitement level in check. I can remember back in 2004 when I did Ironman Canada and I was running and thought I should be excited when I was at mile 18. I told myself "not yet" and when I got to 20, I said "not yet" and then 22 and 24. It was not until mile 26 that I let it all wash over me, and that is how I plan to roll at IMLP. Oh that video? That is my "center myself" song that I will listen to the day before IMLP.
Have a great weekend!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Important Announcement!
The pieces are falling into place. I always said I wanted to do Ultraman Kona. Well, at least since I started doing Ironman. IMLP is my last "official" Ironman for the time being. I'm not saying "last ever" because who knows, I might change my mind!
Once I decided to bag IMC and do Revenge of the PirateMan, and also knowing I'm not signing up for an Ironman in 2010, I guess the brain started thinking about things, and it was Monday evening in the middle of the night when I had a flash that if I am going in this direction, shouldn't I be looking at Ultraman for 2010?
So yesterday I start looking into things...first Ultraman Canada and then Ultraman Kona. Turns out Ultraman Kona is changing things next year and you have to qualify by first doing Ultraman Canada or else have already done Ultraman Kona before they changed the rules. So I decided that if I complete Revenge of the PirateMan, then I am applying for Ultraman Canada 2010!
And then things just sort of fell into place today--I started making a sketch of a schedule of things I want to do next year, and it is looking good on paper, but I need to know the exact dates of Ultraman Canada (UMC)!
So I do IMLP, then I do Revenge of the PirateMan, then a 50-mile trail race, then Goofy Challenge, then I start ramping up for UMC!!! How exciting is that?
Even though it might seem that this has come out of the blue, it really hasn't. I have just been listening to signs and perhaps some higher guidance that has come to me over the past few years. I can remember that at 2006 MiamiMan I met Michael Hanreck, who was 2nd at Ultraman Kona in 2005. He told me I should do it. Well, at the time, I didn't feel ready.
Last year at IMFL, I met Peter Kotland, who had pulled out of IMFL halfway through the marathon, because it was a "training day" for him. He came in 4th at UMK in 2008, and he holds the UMK run record of 5:33 for 52.4 miles! Here's a pic of me with him from last November:
And then earlier this year was when I was discussing a "TotalMan" concept with someone, although I had started out with the Revenge of the PirateMan concept. And it was something I thought about doing next year.
Well the time has come to begin dipping my toes into the ultra territory. I might fail--I might not--but if I don't start looking beyond Ironman it will never happen. I still need to finish one thing at a time, and so I am happy that I am starting the move into ultra territory. I will draw upon anyone I know that has been there in some form or other, and I think it is going to be something else!
Horrible Run Today by Number 2518
When I headed out to run a little after noon, first the heat hit me (it hasn't been hot here this summer much at all), then the humidity, and then the fact that my legs were not good. I tried to use the old "I will feel much worse than this in Ironman" trick on myself, but it was no good. Even though I don't use an HRM, I could feel my heart rate working its way up to a place it doesn't belong for the pace I was running. I was good until I got into open sun, and then I struggled for the rest of the run. I ended up walking for about 3' of the last mile because my heart rate was so jacked up.
I am used to running not feeling "good." It is always effort to me, but as long as I'm able to keep my heart rate down or reasonable, and my legs don't hurt too much, I'm fine with it.
Today sucked, but I usually have a couple of totally sucky runs during a taper. It doesn't mean anything. Today it may have just meant I went a little too hard yesterday.
In other news, my bib number for IMLP is 2518. I can't think of anything significant about that number, except that it's my LAST Ironman bib number!!!!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
More taper ramblings
I had thought about getting my strength workout done yesterday, but after about 1:10 of swimming, I found myself again tired, so decided to put it off. Then I thought about riding a bike to my massage, but decided against that, too, thinking it would be good to give my legs a day of rest.
I intended to ride to the outdoor pool this morning and get in a short (2000m) swim this morning, but probably an hour before the alarm would have gone off, I shut it off, decided I didn't need the extra swim, and went back to sleep. I slept 10 hours for the second day in a row!
Today I had a short (1:10) ride and run (:30) on the schedule. The power company was removing some dead tree limbs from the lines near my house and cut the power at about 9:15, so since I couldn't work, it was time to get it done.
Another beautiful, cool day (for a Chicago July), and I headed out on LGL in the big chain ring (I've been mostly riding in that for the last 4 weeks or so), but thought I should actually do a little warmup so hit the front derailleur at the top of the hill and promptly dropped my chain. I tried to go back into the big chain ring, but failed, so now I had to actually stop and put the chain on with my hands, and I'm tapering, so I am having a brain cramp but remembered that I had better get the grease off my hands before I get back on otherwise I will mess up my pretty new zebra striped bar tape!
So you should have seen me licking bike grease off my hands and fingers and wiping them on my bike shorts so I wouldn't get the bike dirty! I got enough of it off to continue, and I'm riding maybe 2 minutes before I decided fuck it, back in the big chain ring anyway, and I just wanted to ride really hard.
But a funny thing happened at the same time--I just started crying for no good reason. It's pretty typical for me in an Ironman taper, and I don't even try and stop it or rationalize it--it just happens. I feel great, I feel strong, I'm fucking crying my eyes out! I let myself think about it a little--even though I've definitely had some things to cry about the last 8 months, and have done some crying, I suppose I have still been holding back on it a lot, because that's the game of Ironman training or else it's just my personality that I feel like if I start letting it all out when I feel it that I will totally lose control of myself. And that did happen a little bit a month ago, and even though I let myself go with the flow for a few weeeks, at the same time I knew I had to HTFU so I wouldn't fuck up my training, which I love so much, and it just wasn't worth it to me to mess up my last 4 or so big weeks of training. And they have gone really, really well, overall.
So back to crying. I think about it a little bit and part of it is I'm crying for myself for having put myself through all this effort to hopefully get to race day in one piece and do my best. I'm crying for myself because it's when I taper that I feel the opposite sort of lostness that I described in my prior post--I feel lost because I don't know what to think about anything or feel about anything and it's a very disconcerting state of mind. I want to feel everything and I want to feel nothing. I want the race to be here and I want it to be months away so I can just keep training and not thinking about it. I am crying because I don't get to choose anymore--it's going to be here whether or not I like it. I am crying because I am so fucking fortunate to be able to do this to myself--to take my body and my mind to places that most people probably never get to experience, and I think that if they only could, life would be an even more sublime experience for all of us. I am crying because I feel sorry for myself that I feel like I need to do this to myself in order to feel alive--why can't I just be dumb and happy? I am crying because my mind is trying to fuck with me even more than it normally does, and the end result is crying, which I suppose is better than becoming angry or violent.
And all of this happens in maybe 2 minutes of elapsed time, and I go back to riding, and today I don't know how to ride other than hard. I figure it's a short ride, and while I am supposed to warm up, I've rested, right, and so it feels like I'm racing. The numbers on the power meter tell me I'm riding hard, and I am just loving it. And about 25 minutes later I'm at my power loop, and it's time to really focus and work. And it feels easy, and on my first interval, the tears come again, but they aren't stopping me, and I almost laugh at the nuance of simultaneously putting out maximum watts and crying! How great is this???
And then I knock out two more intervals, both great, and then head for home, even though I want to ride longer than I need to, but I'm being good to myself this taper and trying not to overdo things (although I just did overdo the ride!). I put on my running shoes, shorts and visor and head out to run, thinking I wonder if I really did ride hard?
And right away I knew it--I had--because of how my legs felt. It was like I was doing a sprint tri, but I just sucked it up and ran, feeling still better than I might feel at the beginning of the marathon in Lake Placid, and I ran out for :15, turned around and headed for home, wondering if I could pick it up just a little bit on the way back int, and oh yeah, that last mile I didn't really fell that much faster but I was.
And then I check the power data from the ride and I rode at 93% of FTP, which is hard, but it was a short ride, so no worries. I get to do this same workout on Thursday!
And while writing this blog post, I have a few more tears, and they are just there...they are like my little taper friends that will keep coming to visit me, assuring me that I am human, I do have feelings, I have bottled a lot of them up for months now, and while I think I have processed a lot of emotions without tears, the tears are just now the physical expression of all of that.
And OMG I need to start assembling stuff I need to take with me for next week, and the time is going to go so fast now, and my mind is going to do crazier shit as the days move on, but as long as I am resting and feeling peppy (or not--it really doesn't matter right now) while I work out, all is well.
In a way, all of this weirdness (if it seems that way to YOU--to me it is perfectly normal for ME) I think is part of my mental preparation for a long, long day of being inside my own head, so I may as well start working out some of that shit now, so I can go to that place of peace and nothingness that is the real thing that has had me coming back to Ironman over and over. I know it can't possibly be that way for someone doing their first Ironman or even maybe their third or fourth, and maybe some people never get there, but it's waiting for me in less than 2 weeks now, and although the emotional road to get there is going to be rocky, I'm OK with it.
Monday, July 13, 2009
First Long Taper Ramble
I shouldn't physically feel like I'm tapering, considering I put in 20 hours last week (less than I had wanted to, though), but mentally, I know I'm only 2 weeks out from IMLP, and I will bottom out on biking this week as well as running (I get to swim as much as I want, though!).I've committed to NOT registering for an actual Ironman race for 2010, and I will need help at IMLP to keep me away from the pre-registration line. I've been saying for several years that "this is my last year of Ironman," but nobody ever believes me. I never thought I'd be sitting here about to do my THIRTEENTH one! OK, so 2 of those were self-supported, but they are still in my count.
Ironman and loss have defined the last 10 years of my life. I started running in 1998, which was 4 years post-divorce. Some opinions say it takes 3-5 years to iron yourself out after a divorce (and I lost my job at the same time), so I suppose it was almost natural for me to seek out something new in my life. 2 years later, I found myself training for my first triathlon, which escalated to signing up for my first Ironman.
Choosing to do Ironman automatically creates loss in your life. If you want to be good at it, it requires you to toss out pieces of your life, and that culling process can be stressful. Oh, so you were used to a perfectly clean house? Fuhgeddabout it. You enjoy spending an hour or so every evening fixing yourself a nice meal? Fuck that, you won't have time. Love gardening? Your yard is going to go to your version of Hell. Like staying up late and drinking and dancing? You won't be able to do much of that, either.
What about friendships? Choosing to do Ironman forces you to cull those who will not support you, who will not understand the journey you've undertaken. In my case, I didn't have but a few close friends when I started, was fortunate enough to keep one until now, made some new ones and tossed a few of them, too. The people I want around me now are those who really get how the only way I've found to both get inside myself and get out of myself is by doing this crazy amount of exercise. And I'm not even on the extreme edge! What's great is that I now have met plenty of people way crazier than me! So now whenever someone tells me they think I'm crazy, I have examples that prove that I'm really quite tame by some standards.
Back to the subject at hand--Ironman and loss. When you are doing an Ironman, even much of the time while you are training, you need to lose yourself. Or at least that is how it feels to me. When I'm out there riding 100 miles by myself or running for several hours, and it's not something I have to do, but yet I do it, and I am not thinking of all the other things I could be doing--in fact, I can't think of much but what I am doing right at that minute.
And that, in a nutshell, is what has kept me coming back for more and more of this. I want to keep losing myself until I figure out how to lose myself some other way! Maybe I won't find another way, but I have this sneaking suspicion that something will find me and show me another way in a few years.
In the meantime, Ironman is not going to be enough. Even as I will start to assemble my things for IMLP (I leave a week from Wednesday), I am already thinking about Revenge of the PirateMan in August, the 50-mile run in October and things I want to do in 2010. I will be doing Goofy Challenge again, but thankfully I don't need to even think about that because I already know I know how to do it!
And there may be an Ultraman in my schedule for next year. Isn't it funny that I am doing all this forward planning when I haven't even done one Ironman this year? That is the charm of all of this. I am looking forward to being even more lost!
Aside from the losses I've experienced willingly in the last 10 years, there have, of course, been the other real losses--my Mom and Dad, and I also need to say my youth. While my body is in pretty good physical shape (maybe better than ever), I am needing to adapt to how I now look which is no fun. Aging sucks! But still, I'll make the best of it, but I do need to be respectful. Although I do hate it when someone my age or older points out all of their issues and says something like, "Just wait until this happens to you!" Hey--I know I'm not immune to everything, but as long as I can keep this up, I will!
And then there have been the loss of romances, which sucks the most--next to death, those are always the hardest things for me to process. I'm still working on one! I suppose part of it comes from my belief that if you work hard enough at anything that it can be yours, but that is not how relationships work, unless of course, both parties want to do the work.
I lost my "old" house, too, in that I remodeled a lot of it. That was a good loss!
What I lost most recently, though, is my idea that Ironman is the big challenge. I want to do more, now, and if this old body holds together, I am going to prove it to myself. This in no way diminishes what anyone else does--I happily support anyone's efforts to do any amount of exercise and self-care, because I want people to feel great. It is just that for me, I need another test, and next year will be the year of other new tests. Hey, if I can lose myself for a day, maybe I can lose myself for a few days running! Better than any drug I know of!
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Fucking Awesome Last Long Ride before IMLP!
After Friday's debacle, I still managed to fix bottles of Endurox for the remaining time before I leave for IMLP, plus carb loading bottles and Infinit bottles for riding Saturday and Sunday (assuming I did both). I always get a bit teary-eyed as I do these things for the last time before an Ironman, because it means that it is definitely coming! Here are my bottles ready to go into the fridge:
1.5 hours later, no dice, legs are still sore, and I feel like I could sleep all day! So I shit canned Saturday's workouts--I was going to swim 3500 and bike maybe 2.5 hours. OK, so what will I do? When was the last time I wasn't sick and had a rest day? Like NEVER! I did have a rest day at the end of May, but that was after Triple T, and I was still sick as a dog, and even though I still felt rather tired, I thought of various things I could get done that wouldn't tax me too much physically. Oh and I think I spent a lot of the day eating--I knew I was undernourished from all the hard training I'd been doing, so every 2 hours or so I would eat maybe 300-400 calories.
I got the lawn mowed, I finally hooked up the converter box to the TV (not that I will be watching it much, but it's nice to know I can if I want to), restocked some home office supplies that I'd been meaning to do for several months now (including a rainbow set of dry erase markers for my giant mirror in my bedroom!), gased up my car, and grilled out. This was before I left to go see No Doubt in concert.
No Doubt rocked! I was SO glad I went, even though I almost bailed on it. The set was amazing, and the band was amazing! I really like their mix of ska, rock, reggae or whatever you call it. I left a little early, though, because a) I was still tired and b) I wanted to see if I could do a 100-mile ride today.
Did I mention that I was STUNG under each eye this past week? Not just bit by mosquitoes--but actually fucking STUNG. I had to dig stingers out from under each eye. Luckily they didn't happen on the same day, but I'm like what the fuck, why are stinging insects so attracted to me???
Anyway, when I got home from No Doubt, I ate 2 crab cakes and drank a beer and got to sleep a little before midnight, which is WAY past my usual bedtime of 8:30 or 9:00PM lately. I set my alarm for 5:15 but figured I'd know when it went off or maybe sooner if I could make that.
Sometime during the night, I decided I needed to let myself sleep, and since the plan was to drive to Fermilab to ride 100 miles and run off the bike, what the fuck else was I doing today, so it didn't matter when I started.
I slept until 6:30AM, and felt like I could get up and get going, and so I did. I wanted to leave home by 8:00AM, but was like 10 minutes off that, but no worries. It was a beautiful day, and I'd decided on a tri swimsuit bottom to ride in and also no sunscreen, as I'm already pretty tan, and all sunscreen products clog up my pores and make me crazy because I can't sweat properly. I also took the aerohelmet with me, as I figured I'd wear it for some of the ride at least.
I got to Fermilab and got my primo parking spot in the shade at the East Gate, and got ready to ride. I donned the aerohelmet, and when I'm in there, I wear the iPod, since there is very little traffic to be concerned with. I have a regular 16-mile loop around the place, but at some point during the first lap I decided I didn't want to do 6+ laps, so when I was about 8 miles in, I decided to make some interior loops around Pine Road (which is awesome asphalt and straight as hell which makes it great for time trialing), and when I got back to my car (after seeing the coyote couple crossing a road--I was so happy to see them!), I'd done 23 miles. I forgot to mention that I got the speed display working on the Ergomo today--I guess the damn sensor is pretty picky, and I moved it just a bit today and all of a sudden I had miles! I was happy, because I really wanted to get the 100 solid, you know?
Out for my second loop, I decided I'd fucked up on the first loop, since it should have been 25 miles, so now I'd need to do 27 to get to 50 after 2 laps. I added on which took me into an area of very large power items (there are some extremely large items in Fermilab--one of these days I will photograph all them, but will need to put something in front for perspective), and after 2 laps, I was at about 51.5 miles. Awesome!
The wind picked up or else I suck since I slowed down a bit. But I was still feeling good, no worries. On lap 3, I had done all my "adding on" when I saw a peloton of about 15 riders, mostly or all guys, heading for the Small Ring. So I thought they must have a special access pass, since it's not generally open to the public, so I hammered to catch up to them (I was at about 73 miles by now), only to see they had been kicked off by Security. I thought some of them would follow me, since God forbid a chic is riding faster than they are, but they didn't. I don't know where they went.
I kept on, and when I got to my car, I was at 79 miles after 3 laps. Awesome! After refilling my water bottle, a security guard pulled his car up next to me and we began chatting. He commented how he'd seen me riding in there for like hours (yep!), and asked if I was training for anything, so I told him, and I also told him that I bet most of the Security has seen me in there since I'm there a lot, and that I'd be back in about 3 weeks to start up training for Revenge of the PirateMan (although I didn't tell him the name), and that I'd be doing a full 112 mile ride in there. We exchanged names, and I politely asked him if he'd give me a free pass to ride on the Big Ring, and he said sure! I was so pumped, because this meant I could do maybe 4 or 5 laps (it's about 4 miles around) in there to finish up my ride! He also told me he had kicked the group of guys off of the Small Ring.
Dude sends me on my way, and I am 1.5 laps of the Big Ring in when I see him in there. He tells me the same bunch of dudes tried to ride on the Big Ring and he kicked them out! He said they would be really jealous of me, but I had told him I fully understand they don't want big packs of people in there, and only go in by myself and once in awhile. But he told me I could use his name anytime when I want to ride the Big Ring and I should be fine!
Now see, this is an example of when you act polite and respectful and also look like you know what you are doing AND having fun at it, that people just treat you well. I was so tickled over this that I must have been smiling hugely the entire time I was on the Big Ring! Plus, as I got closer to my 100 miles, I felt great that I had done this all by myself, and that I should be able to HTFU for ROTPM when it's Ironman day!
When I finished, I wanted a couple of pics of me with the bike, so here they are:
And then I suited up to run. I wondered how this would feel, because like, didn't I do this shit just a week ago? I sometimes forget how much training I pile on myself, and I kept thinking when was I in Wisconsin? LAST FUCKING WEEKEND, THAT'S WHEN!
As soon as I got going, I noticed how humid it was, either that or I was just piggy from being on the bike so long. I ran OK, maybe 9:20 pace is what I'm guessing, and while it sucked, as do most runs after 100-mile rides, I thought I might just do OK running 26.2 in 2 weeks.
And here I am after all that, looking suitably sweaty:
And here I am all smiley and goofing because I'm glad to be done! I wore my HTFU bracelet all day, as you can see it on my right wrist:
After all that, I didn't even want McDonald's for the drive home. I did drink my Endurox, and I still haven't eaten a full meal--I'm just not that hungry--but know that I should probably dig into some pasta tonight so I am somewhat recovered for tomorrow.
It's now OFFICIALLY taper time, and while I had to take a rest day yesterday, I still nailed my last key workout before the big day (although I've got one more 3-mile swim this week), all my training "money" is in the bank, and there's nothing more I can do that will help me on race day.
I had a lot of emotions running through my head today--much like happens in an Ironman, and I felt good that I was out there by myself where I could have just quit at any time but kept going and worked hard. And while I won't say I am feeling particularly happy (more like neutral), I was absolutely thrilled that someone was so nice to me today and gave me such an awesome gift!
Friday, July 10, 2009
Full Body Bonk
After the 112-mile ride/7 mile run last Saturday, I had Endurox R4, the big McDonald's burger and fries, a few beers, some crackers and some candy. I probably should have eaten another meal, so this would have been the start of the downfall.
On Sunday, I had a waffle then rode a few hours, drove home drinking Gatorade (in retrospect I should have had some protein right away, too), got home and made a chicken wrap and I don't remember what I had for dinner, but I'm pretty sure I didn't make up for Saturday or Sunday's calories burned.
I haven't been eating a lot of starch lately--it's been salads or a modest amount of vegetables at dinner time. I guess I've started to taper my eating even though my training isn't really tapered yet. I've been off my usual grocery shopping/restocking schedule, too, which means I'm not on my normal eating routine.
Still, though, like I said, I wasn't feeling famished or anything. Through yesterday, I'd done about 11.5 hours of training since Monday. Now that is unusual, but it came from a little extra riding and a whole lot of swimming. I had about 1/2 lb. of salmon and a little (probably less than one serving) spaghetti with pesto for dinner, 2 beers, and felt good to go. Now that was dinner for a 4-hour training day, which is not something I normally do on a weekday when I'm also working! I really should have eaten a bunch more, but by the time I ate dinner, I was tired and went to sleep.
I slept 10 hours last night, and felt good when I woke up this morning, had my usual breakfast of an English muffin and a hardboiled egg, but around 11AM I was feeling sort of hungry so I dug into my stash of Cheetos and also downed a Coke. This should have let me know that I was in a glycogen hole, because I don't usually crave Cheetos in the morning! Then I went off to the Y because it was raining, planning to do a :40 run and about 1:30 on a stationary bike (I just didn't feel like getting on my trainer and besides I could probably watch TDF replay at the Y).
As I walked into the cardio area, I could tell my legs were telling me I probably should just rest today, so I thought, what the hell, I'll just get on the elliptical trainer. Can't hurt, right? I did the :40 on there and it wasn't bad, but I could tell I was a little tired.
I moseyed on over to the Precor bike, got on, and wasn't worried about intensity, but still was doing a 10-minute ladder of resistance. When I got off the bike about :40 in to change the channel on the TV in front of me to Versus, I thought, gee, my legs feel pretty trashed considering I didn't do much today. Still, I got back on the bike, and thinking I'd still go 1:30, at about 1:10 I finally recognized that I was out of fuel no matter how much Infinit and Gatorade I was drinking.
That is, I was experiencing a grand bonk! Thing is, I'm so trained that I can usually overcome bonking (or not even notice it) that might affect someone else, or I might just miss the signs, but when it finally dawned on me, I realized that I had better get my ass home and eat as quickly as possible.
Still, I had to shower, and when I got home I immediately made myself a big wrap thing, chowed that and drank some Endurox. I figured that should set me up, right? Nope. It wasn't so much hunger that I felt, but my body was screaming for more calories. So I scrounged around and found a Snickers Almond Bar in my freezer, took it out, and after about 5 minutes, I ate that. By this time, I'm starting to notice that I feel really cold, even though it's hot out and I don't have my A/C set too low (maybe 76-78 now), but I am actually shivering, and this tells me that my body is truly fucked up (it's like the same insulin reaction I sometimes get when I down 400 calories of Ultrafuel all at once and my body is valiantly trying to pump all that sugar into my muscles) and needs me to lay down, so I get into bed with all the blankets on, still wearing clothes, and I'm cold but after a few minutes finally my temperature starts to go back up, but I stayed in bed for maybe an hour and even dozed off a few times.
Getting up, I realized I am not "fixed" yet, so I'm going to need to eat up tonight and sleep well and let my body do its thing to get me back to normal. I also realized that whatever I have planned for training this weekend is all optional, so if I'm not feeling peppy tomorrow, I will just rest, because at this point, nothing is really going to make me any faster for IMLP.
I guess I've reached that point in the summer where I'm pretty sick of the starchy carbs, but I will need to get back on some level of them, especially post-IMLP and pre-ROTPM. So I'll start counting my calories. Thankfully, next week is actual full taper, so I don't need to worry about it so much. Some years, I've lost 2-3 lbs. during the last 2 weeks before IM, but I don't think I should lose any more at this point.
So in an odd way, this was all a good thing, to remind me that I am existing on the edge, and that I need to pay more attention to my nutrition.
Have a great weekend!