Pretend It's OK

As I've needed to do for the past 3 years now, today is one of those days I am going to try and pretend everything is OK. That everything isn't getting to me, that everything isn't crashing around me, that I am living some sort of normal life.

Deep breaths...

To the positive, I am starting to see some power returning on the bike! Or rather, maybe I should say I care about the power. It's only when I care about it that I can make the numbers go higher, even though it hurts to do so. Huh. That was an interesting statement. I could have just said, "I care so much that I want it to hurt." I could go on and on about that...and have done so here before, but I'll leave it like that.

In other remodeling news (the entire saga is documented in pictures here)...

My upstairs bathroom, which should have been finished last week, won't be finished until next week. I hope it gets finished next week. There have been several snafus that have contributed to this:

1. Home Depot hasn't figured out where the hell the furniture is. They are supplying it from a vendor who is then going through another vendor, and when I spoke to them yesterday, I asked them to tell me just what they were going to do. No, make that I told them what they were going to do. They need to tell me that 1) the stuff exists, i.e., we are not waiting for the fucking trees to grow or some Amish people (apologies) to build it and 2) where the hell is it. And then I am going to make them get it here by Monday next week at their cost. I have paid for this stuff, they have my money and I have nothing.
2. Kohler forgot to put the tank bolts, tank gasket and caps in the shipment of my custom black toilet. I called Kohler yesterday and first this chic is insisting that the gasket is factory installed, but I can tell she's just reading from a customer service script, and Kenny and I are on the speaker phone with her (he knows his toilets), and she says they can send me the kit for free but it will take 7-10 business days! What a crock! Well, I'm having those Wisconsin hosers at Kohler (pronounced Koal-er) send me the kit so I can get the black caps, and Kenny is going to see if he can find the other parts (which will run me maybe $10) elsewhere this morning so at least he can finish installing the toilet.
   

So today's remodeling will include:

• grout bathroom walls
• finish toilet install
• install shower trim and door
• install custom pleated shades in office and spare bedroom
• dumpster gets hauled away
• install new faucet and sprayer in kitchen

If the furniture comes in next week, the upstairs bathroom will be finished!!! And I'll be able to use it except there will be no sink. I can deal with that, which means I'm back to sleeping in my own bed. Actually, I've been sleeping downstairs to start, and then I go upstairs, and I've been alternating up and down since I am still not sleeping normally. It's all just part of the fucked up mess of my life right now!

But wait--I'm not done yet! I'm going to sign up to have Kenny tile the family room walkway from the back door up to the stairs. It will be the same white tile that is now in the downstairs bathroom, closets and laundry room. That will pull everything together until I remodel the family room completely. Then, we are going to remove the crappy brown tile near the front door and replace it with marble (white with black streaks). I want to have this done before I lay down the zebra rug! So hopefully I can get this done while I'm out of town in 2 weeks, since you need to not walk on the floor while the tile is put down and then grouted.

So it is looking like (fingers crossed) I will be contractor free next week, and then the entry way floor tile gets installed while I'm out of town, and then I come home and we lay down the zebra carpet in the living room and I'm done until next year!!!

I just figured that if I was going to do the entryway tiling, may as well do it now to get all the dust stuff done with and then I can do one more big full cleaning (mainly dusting) and I can settle in for the winter.

Funny how all of this started out as install new windows and doors.

In other news, I am going to give out and out running another shot today. I've been hanging with the elliptical trainer to help my back heal, since there were major compression forces. I've added in some running on the indoor track, and that has felt OK (and I can run at a pretty good pace!). Today is supposed to be a nice day, so I'm going to head outdoors and see how it goes. Tomorrow is supposed to be even nicer, and I'm going to treat myself by driving to Waterfall Glen so I can run on dirt, which should be awesome. I'm lucky in that my Y is going to be open from 7-11 tomorrow, too, so I'm going to kick off the day with a 1-hour swim and then do my run and then some biking. I guess I might have to write it down as if I'd done a triathlon, huh? We'll see. I need to see how running feels today. Fingers crossed!

I'm writing this post sort of backwards and inside out. I woke up this morning about 3AM, and was just laying there thinking did I want to pull the trigger on the additional tile work or not, and how much more money will I be spending (I'm not finished paying for the upstairs bathroom yet and just paid a gigantic Visa bill), and I have it and one of my issues has been just spending the fucking money, but I'm spending it now, eh? And I was thinking about all of this shit in my life coming to closure and why do I keep extending things almost like I don't want to be done!

But, I am training. That is my rock right now. Several blog readers have sent me just the nicest emails about how they've hung with me through all this shit (and face it, some just enjoy the nearly naked pics), and while this started out as a triathlon blog, it hasn't been so much about triathlon lately, has it? But the training is there, it is coming back, and I am certain that I will turn back into a hardcore triathlete soon enough! I have a race in 8 weeks, and damn it, I want to do well! Even if it is just a stinky indoor triathlon! And I'm looking forward to my jam-packed 2009 triathlon schedule.

If you're in the US, Happy Thanksgiving, and if you're not, get out and train!