Everyone's a Fuckin' Coach

Recently I've noticed a lot of people hanging out shingles and claiming they are triathlon coaches. Some of these individuals have only a few years' experience at the game, and yet feel eminently qualified to tell other people how and what to do. Some of this may be being driven by the poor economy (extra cash on the side!), or maybe it's just a reflection of just how narcissistic triathletes are in general that most of them think they are know-it-alls, and the best sport for a know-it-all is telling someone else what they know and how to apply it!

Fact is, it's pretty easy to set up a website and then mine the Internet for all sorts of amazing content, such as which stretches to do, beginner training plans, the latest gizmo that will make you faster, the latest non-tri exercise trend, etc. It's a good thing that we all have access to amazing amounts of information, and it is true that it can be helpful to have it summarized for you by someone else. But that doesn't make that person a coach.

It's also pretty easy to take a beginner triathlete who has no clue about much at all, and give them a very basic training plan and presto, they will improve at S/B/R because, well, they just went from fucking aimless to a modicum of discipline.

Another form of "coaching" consists of telling a person to actually write down what they are doing and keep track of things like heart rate, pace, feelings of fatigue, etc. And by virtue of writing down things and being able to look at one's history, certain truths pop out, which of course, can only be analyzed by said coach. I am going to write a book called Keeping Track of Shit for Dummies. Chapter 1 will begin with the line: It is important to write things down. Please grab a pen and paper and write down that you just bought this book.

To me, a true coach is a person whose goal is to enlighten you to enlightening yourself. You are only as good as what you know about yourself. You are the one who wakes up every day and decides whether it's going to be a good day or a bad day, and this should not be based on what someone (even you yourself!) wrote down in a plan. A true coach should only be a guide who nudges you in one direction or the other so that you learn how to bring out the best in yourself. In that regard, I have many, many coaches.

I enjoy surrounding myself with people who seek to perfect themselves through both sport and the burning desire to know themselves better, and I take bits and pieces of their learnings and decide whether I want to apply them to myself. Someone whose sole focus is to simply excel at a particular sport and quote their PR's is of no interest to me. Or a person who says "I just do this for fun." Not that there isn't a place in the world for these people--they just aren't my cup of tea. Or a person who is a complete follower and takes learning from others to such an extreme that they lose the ability to make decisions about their own course of action.

My first triathlon coach's purpose was to show me how little I knew about the sport and teach me that it's fucking hard to do well at Ironman while holding down a conventional job and maintaining some semblance of what is colloquially called "having a life." He did a great job of this, not so much by what he told me to do, but what I observed him doing. Did I think he had a life? Not really. Do I think I have one now? Yes--but the life I have chosen might appear to someone else as not having a life. I'm OK with that.

I could never have respect for a coach who isn't in it or doesn't look the part. I would not stand for some out of shape loser trying to tell me how I should modify my nutrition to achieve excellence because hey, obviously he/she isn't doing it so how could he/she possibly demonstrate to me how it works? I don't want to get into a discussion about how someone need not have experience in a sport in order to coach it. While I see that as possible for team sports, on an individual basis, I think not so much.

My next triathlon coach's purpose was to teach me some methodology that I could use to coach myself. Did he know this at the time? Not right away, but I think it became apparent pretty quickly that I was in this to add another facet to my life's journey, and that I was going to soak it up. I never studied sports or was even what I would call athletic until maybe 15 years ago, and while I needed to be told what to do for awhile, after a bit I was able to do it for myself.

Now, as far as making a plan to get me from Point A to Point B in terms of triathlon, I'm the coach. But I tweak and tweak and pay attention to people around me, and am very fortunate that I seem to attract very like-minded people who understand that while it's good to have a guide, even what appears to be an anal-retentively-developed-humongous-training-plan-in-a-spreadsheet guide, that at the end of the day it's about what did I learn about myself, what awesome ideas did I get from others and when might I be able to apply them to myself, and how much fun did I have in the process?

The down side of surrounding yourself with a bunch of driven, hyperactive Type A's (and you know who you are!) is that, well it's natural for us to all be the know-it-all at one time or another and say, "Why don't you do this?" or "Why won't you try that?" And it makes me smile to know that I know these people and while I often have to say "I don't have room for that right now in my life," that I am always banking these ideas for a time when I know it will be right to incorporate them.

In the business world, when I conduct an interview, what I'm expecting the interviewee to reveal to me is "This is what's so fucking great about me and why you should hire me." I suppose that I tend to apply this to real life as well but with a twist: "This is what's so fucking great about me and why you should want to associate with me," and because of it I can be accused of having impossibly high standards. Oh well.

Cuz you know, everyone's a fuckin' coach anyway.