Testing.....1 2 3 4

Yesterday I did a Functional Threshold (FT) test on the bike trainer. The purpose of this test is to approximate one's CP60, which stands for Critical Power for 60 minutes. FT and CP60 are measured in watts. I have an SRM on my triathlon bike to measure power, and I have a Power Tap on my road bike (haven't figured out how to use it yet).

By measuring FT, you can design your training program to increase it, and the higher the value, presumably the faster you can go in races. It is also a guideline to tell you what watts to ride for different race distances. You would only ride AT FT in, say, an Olympic distance tri. Since my primary distance is Ironman, for that (depending on your experience and fitness level), I would ride at 75-80% of FT (as average watts) for that distance.

I came out at 153 watts average for my CP60. Another measure of your "goodness" at biking is how many watts per kg you generate, and it's a sex-specific measure. Right now I weigh 114 lbs., so my value is 153/(114/2.2)=2.95. According to this chart: http://www.cyclingpeakssoftware.com/images/powerprofile_v3.gif
I am in the "upper moderate" range for pure cyclists, which I'm told is pretty good for a triathlete.

I have decided that my objective is to get my CP60 up to 170 in the next 5 months. Assuming I don't change weight, that gives me a new "goodness" rating of 170/(114/2.2)=3.28, which gets me to "good." I suppose I will need to see how "good" translates to my race performance.

My "A" race for next year is Ironman Brazil, and I would like to qualify for Kona there. Of course, that will depend on who shows up, but based on past years, if I can go 12-12:30 I could be there. Even if I go that speed and don't qualify, though, it will tell me something about my abilities. If I can achieve that time, then the next question will be can I get faster, and if so, what would it take?

It's funny how I am on this parallel path now of both trying to maximize my athletic performance and my mental state. Last season, while I thought I was trying to maximize my athletic performance, I was mostly just training and having fun. Nothing wrong with that, but I had no clue what I am capable of. As this past summer wore on, though, I was beginning to see signs of a different level of fitness that I was approaching, but I didn't really acknowledge it until a few weeks ago. Part of the time lag issue is that I DNF'ed at Ironman Wisconsin, so I never got the chance to REALLY put it all to the test. But in the past 4 weeks I've run a 1/2 marathon, a marathon (both by myself not in actual races) and a 10K (actual race) and seen large PR's (personal records). I was puzzled by this until I spoke with my coach who laughed at me and said, "Well, you are REALLY fit!"

Sometimes I can be such a blockhead and not see the forest for the trees! Another example of this is when all this mental stuff began (also about 4 weeks ago), I was thinking to myself why do I feel so bad(ly) and that it wasn't justified. Not until I began talking it out with a friend, who told me that I had a lot of shit happening all at once and no wonder I was feeling down, did I acknowledge what was going on.

What does this tell me? I am not as in touch with myself as I think! But that, kids, is what I'm working on.

Oh--here's an interesting article I found that just makes my brain feel all tingly, because it combines one of my favorite artists with mathematics and mind shit: http://tap3x.net/EMBTI/j7escher.html#ONE
But you need to read the first link to the article "The Structure of Consciousness." Actually, go ahead and read ALL the links--I'm starting to--if you're not into mathematical structures (which, obviously is a big part of Escher's work), you won't enjoy it at all. I am an (allegedly) trained mathematician, and while I have generally thought of mathematics as pure "logic" and "thought," here now I'm seeing it for all its beauty as another system that parallels what is going on in our brains, the universe and everything! (a bow to Douglas Adams here)

So as fucked up as I have felt mentally (though the fog is clearing), through the magic of the Internet and seeking out other like-minded individuals, I am finding that I may not actually be so fucked up and that I may be putting some things together in an interesting way that, I hope, leads to something amazing--me becoming SOMETHING ELSE!

Triathlon, mathematics, Eastern-oriented spirituality (please, I refuse to embrace a "religion" at this point, so even saying Buddhism would be against my nature), humor/silliness, a few shards of creativity, a little narcissistic voyeursim (thanks for that term, Harlan), obsessive love of the color
PINK
a preference for M. C. Escher, Salvador Dali and Rene Magritte--really, am I unique? What can this combination lead to as I embark upon this journey of increased self-awareness? This is what my father must have meant when he said to me a week ago, "I can't wait to see what's deep down inside of you and where it will take you."

Something strange and wonderful is happening. I can feel it!