aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Thanks for letting me get that scream out!

It's that time when I'm in it--the BIG training, the "I better start thinking about this fucking Ironman I said I'd do," the "don't do anything stupid or get hurt," the "work is becoming totally annoying," the "I feel like I'm being overstimulated" time.

But I feel totally great, mentally and physically. I don't think I've ever felt more at home in my mind and body, or felt so sure of who I am. My new friend, Ling, that I met at the YMCA and with whom I've swapped plants (and I've also given her swim caps--I have piles of them) said to me yesterday as I was waxing exuberant about some birds in my yard that my heart is very full of love. I think Ling was sent to me to be a mirror into my own soul.

It's interesting that it's been a regular occurrence throughout my life to leave an impression with others of confidence almost to the point of arrogance, that they sometimes classify as "intimidation." Yet there are a few hardy souls who see beyond that and welcome all that is me, over the top tendencies and all, and Ling is helping me to see that I am just very full and spilling over. I work every day at channeling all that fullness, and feel like I'm allocating pretty well, even though at times it truly feels like all I do is eat, sleep, train and talk about those things. I'm managing to fit in more and feel more and be more.

I am never sure what forces are at work in the universe that provide me with such blessings--it's surely a combination of hard work, seized opportunities, an openness to alternate perspectives and some other magic ingredients that I can't put my finger on. Maybe there really is something to riding and running in nuclear research facilities!

Life is truly excellent!