Another Good Long Run Today and a Cleansing Ceremony

First, you need to go look at the pics of my Tiki Hut and Assorted Other Important Things Cleansing Ceremony! As per the set description, I received the copper pyramid 2 days ago from my friend Susan who lives near Vegas. I knew right away what I needed to do with it, only I didn't have time until this morning (Tiki Hut pics are usually taken quite early in the day).

I had my alarm set for 4:30AM, but I woke up at 3AM and figured I'd just get up and get going, so I had time to cleanse the Tiki Hut and other stuff.

I actually started running around 5:45AM (at Waterfall Glen), and it was nice and cool--maybe 54. I was even a bit chilled as I started out, but this is ideal running weather, so it wasn't long before I was quite comfortable. I ended up doing 2 out-and-backs--the first was a little over 10 miles and the second 4+, for a total of almost 15 miles. My legs were toasted when I started, as I've been hitting it hard for many weeks now. But the coolness helped, and I didn't feel that badly on the first out-and-back. On my way back in on that one, I stopped to talk to a birder, and asked what she was seeing (I had already seen another 2 Indigo Buntings). She told me she's conducting a bird count based on hearing songs and sightings, and she listed off a bunch of birds that are in there. One she mentioned is cuckoo! So now I need to spot one myself.

I saw a couple of deer, about 6 packs of cross country boys and girls (and I was running well whenever they came by, THANK GOD), and a group of 3 runners where I know one of them. I guess I'm just in 100% HTFU mode, because I showed my fist with the HTFU bracelet and yelled at them, "HARDEN THE FUCK UP, PEOPLE!" I was smiling as I said it though, because I was already about 9 miles into my run.

I made today's run harder by running to the Mile 5 marker on my first out-and-back. Mile 5 is a lot of downhill, which means you climb out of this hole on the way back. Yes, it's still hard, no matter when I do it! After that, I noticed that my hamstrings felt pretty shot, but surprisingly, not my quads. Oh well!

Near the end of the run, I saw 2 girls with these fabric things that I thought were flags, but they were draping them over the foliage on the side of the trail. I stopped to ask what they were doing, and they said they were trying to capture ticks! I assumed deer ticks, and they said yes. Deer ticks that carry Lyme disease are quite small--I've seen many regulation dog ticks in there. Speaking of dogs, there were several totally well behaved ones in there that I stopped to pet. Katy, the Irish Setter, and Dupres, the border collie mix. I told the girls that I rather despise ticks, but I do realize the ecological niche they serve.

When I finished, there were two State Police parked right near my car, and I asked one of them to take the picture of me you see. Most people have no qualms about taking pics, but they seemed a little surprised. I told them it was for my blog. Maybe I should have said it was for evidence?

As usual, I drank Coke while I ran, and I guess I'm doing better than I thought I would be by this point in the day, because I've been able to not only stay awake at work, but also get in 55' of lifting! Tomorrow I am taking the day off from work and doing a 3800m TT swim and then a 1:30 ride. Looking at my training schedule, I'm riding Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday! Lots of riding--just the way I like it--also 2 brick runs on the weekend, so this is plenty intense training if you ask me!

But I'm feeling pretty good and I think some of the "cleansing" I did this morning is already working :)

Thanks, Susan!

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This is the Part I Really Like

This is week 8 of high volume training. Here's what they've looked like, including this week through today:

Week Beg: Hours

4/28/2008	20.60
5/5/2008	19.12
5/12/2008	18.88
5/19/2008	20.50
5/26/2008	15.51
6/2/2008	22.08
6/9/2008	20.37
6/16/2008	6.08

That 5/26 week is a little blip trying to recover from Triple T.

I am really, REALLY feeling it this week. I am tired all the time. It's hard to stay awake (or at least vertical) while working. Mail is in piles unprocessed. I'm paying bills but not entering them into my checkbook (thank God for online bill pay). I'm managing to wash clothes and dishes and feed myself and train and work and sleep. That's IT!

I think I'm fat; I think I'm too skinny. I feel invincible; I feel helpless. I feel like I really know why I'm doing this; I feel like I have no idea why I keep doing this. I have a few great workouts; the rest I am so fucking tired maybe I should stop, but I just HTFU and get it done anyway. This is WAY harder than the actual Ironman race.

I absolutely LOVE riding all my bikes even when I'm so fucking tired and my legs are sore. It's summer! You are supposed to ride your bikes whenever you can! I love seeing so many people out riding bikes just to get from Point A to Point B, which is why I love riding my bike to and from the outdoor pool. I rode my bike to the eye doctor. I will ride anywhere I can. Next week I'll start riding a bike to get a massage. Biking is good! I can't do too much of it, can I? Even though I'm scheduled for 11 hours of biking this week, what's wrong with adding a couple more?

I've got this week and then 2 more big weeks and it's time for a taper. Good thing I forget how this part feels...because if I remembered, I might not ever do it again. It's crazy, it makes you feel like you're crazy, but then you know what? There is nothing else I'd rather be doing. NOTHING! All I want to do is workout and enjoy being outdoors and maybe throw a race in there. What could be better? Even when I'm running all tired out like I was today, hey it's a gift that I can run, right? So I should do it!

I smile even when I'm tired, because I love it. Every stinking part of it. I must love it to have done this for 8 years straight, right? I don't know any other way. This is my way.

I know some people are a little frightened or even intimidated by the whole Crackhead thing, but this is who I am. You don't have to like it. I don't need anyone's approval or blessing. I don't need a coach anymore to tell me maybe I'm doing too much because if it actually gets to be too much, I'll slow it down. Until then,

HARDEN THE FUCK UP.
Amen.

And here's something I love listening to to relax. I listened to this the day before IMLP last year and will probably do so again this time around. I can't wait! What can possibly be better than doing what you love with people you love and having fun at the same time? Nothing! And IMLP is really just preparation for the second full NothingMan!

SOOOOO True...

Weekly Workout Totals 06/09/2008-06/15/2008 and Storm Tracker Ride

Cindy arrived Saturday evening around 7:00PM. I was just finishing up grilling a bunch 'o meat for dinner, and we were both ready to eat. As you can see from the pics (click on the post title to get to them), we had a good meal and a ton of laughs. We finished off our meat, rice pilaf and salad (accompanied by a nice Barolo) with some lemon gelato doused in Grand Marnier. Carb loading!!!!

Then, Cindy said she needed to clean her bike, and I helped her do it and showed her some of what I do. Once it was as clean as we could get it, I decided I should go ride it in my flip flops in the dark, of course, slightly drunk. Nice work if you can get it!

Sunday morning we woke up around 4:00AM because we wanted to get riding our 200K by no later than 7:00AM. Driving up north to Burlington, IL, we could see storm clouds building, but they didn't look too bad, and besides, what else were we going to do?

When we arrived at Central High School, we took one look to the west and decided we'd leave the bikes in the car to go down to registration for the Swedish Days Ride sponsored by the Fox Valley Bicycle and Ski Club. I continued snapping pictures of the awesome cloud formation we were seeing as we walked about a block down a hill towards registration.

When we got into the school, there were all these laptops set up with this awesome real-time Doppler radar on the screen, and things looked bad. We began asking about the incoming storm and realized we'd need to wait it out. And we could see exactly when it was going to hit right where we were! The clouds were just magnificent, even though the pictures don't do them justice. Unfortunately, there were some riders who had left and who we knew would be caught in it. They guys manning the Doppler practically counted down "3-2-1" and we were at ground zero. It was pretty exciting--all this awesome weather plus the technology to go along with it. Turns out these guys are ham radio operators/storm trackers. They even had storm tracker cars. We never figured out whether they were there to help us riders or perhaps they just knew about the incoming storm and camped out where we were.

How ironic that the school we were at has as its mascot a tornado! We were actually hoping we'd see a tornado form in the distance, and the storm trackers did detect rotation, and there's one picture that looked like a tornado wanted to form, but we heard the temperature conditions weren't right. Nonetheless, when the thing rolled over, there were 40mph sustained winds and 70mph gusts! We watched some hapless riders literally get blown back into the school parking lot.

Cindy and I were fine to wait it out, as we had the live Doppler to tell us what was going to happen. Good thing I had made us 500-calorie Ultrafuel that we drank around 5AM, so we had plenty of calories to go on. We ended up not starting to ride until about 9:20AM, and it wasn't until we were about 60 miles in that we knew we'd go ahead and finish 100 miles. Many riders bagged the day altogether, but it actually got quite nice out for riding. Although the winds picked up pretty early on, and it felt like we were always riding into them.

As it turns out, the winds started out from the south and then changed to westerly, so we had the pleasure of riding straight into them for quite awhile. There was a short stretch where we were heading north that we just stopped pedaling, yet we were going well over 20mph! It was so cool that the wind was pushing us like that. But mostly we were into the headwinds due to the route that was mapped out. Below is the wind plot. We pretty much HTFU'ed!







At about 70 something miles, we could see more bad clouds right to our left, and it looked like we were riding right into them and we got worried. Luckily, a SAG car showed up and we asked about our route and the weather, and he said we were riding away from it. We did get rained on briefly, but nothing to get us too wet or anything.

There was one rest stop in a church that I'd been in many times on many different rides. I commented to Cindy about an hour later (after I remembered what I wanted to tell her since I forgot while we were doing storm sprints) that I never said "Fuck" once in the church. I try and curb my enthusiasm when I'm talking with volunteers at events. But while we are out riding, we just let loose.

I got pretty tired the last 10 miles of the ride, but Cindy got way ahead of me, and I didn't care. I guess I'm such a loser! When I got back to our cars (we drove 2 because Cindy thought she'd be going to her sister's who is not far from where the ride started, but her sister wasn't around), wiped down our bikes, and headed back to my house. I had lead foot driving home because I just wanted to be home. There was a good deal of traffic on the way back, and I thought to myself that the driving was harder than the riding. How fucked up is that?

And then we thought we'd go eat sushi, but on the way to the restaurant I wanted to go to, we went by Connie's Pizza, and opted for pizza instead. We were pretty delirious from the hard riding and needing food, and I think we were talking and laughing pretty loud. Good thing they had seated us in the farthest corner of the place!

Beer, pizza, bruschetta, yum...and then home for stretching, one more beer and bedtime. We both slept pretty well (no you pervs we didn't sleep together although I've always said if I turn gay, it would be with Cindy) and woke up to an absolutely gorgeous day. Cindy left to drive home and I went to the eye doctor for my yearly exam. My eye doctor is a triathlete, which is awesome, and he laughed at all my stories from the weekend and just catching up with me for the last year. He dilated my pupils, so I got to ride Clipless Fuck home barely able to see, and I was just laughing.

Now it's more work and I'll swim at lunchtime--that should be interesting--I'm pretty wiped out! It was another good week of training:

Weekly Workout Totals	06/09/2008-06/15/2008 This week's totals are sponsored by the Tornadoes. And I hope I don't see any this year.
Swim:	10400 yards (5.9 miles) in 3.72 hours; 18% of weekly workout time; approx. 1301 calories burned Canadian: 9509.76 meters
Bike:	Approx. 186.77 miles in 10.65 hours; 52% of weekly workout time; approx. 4794 calories burned; Total TSS=525 Canadian: 300.58 kilometers
Run:	Approx. 31.58 miles in 4.89 hours; 24% of weekly workout time; approx. 2215 calories burned Canadian: 50.82 kilometers
Strength:	1.11 hours; 5% of weekly workout time; approx. 278 calories burned Canadian: I lifted many grams
All Sports:	Approx. 224.25 miles in 20.37 hours; approx. 8588 calories burned Canadian: 360.9 kilometers
Sleep:	7.18 hours avg./night Canadian: Do tornadoes have dreams?
Stretching:	2.08 hours. Massage: 2.25 hours

Odd, Wonderful Day!

I was supposed to do an open water swim race this morning, but my massage therapist, Mike, called me yesterday while I was tooling around on Clipless Fuck to tell me it was cancelled. I had suspected it would be cancelled, because we've had so much rain lately, and the geese aren't going away, so the bacteria levels in the Lake in the (fucking) Hills were high.

I was secretly pleased, because this would mean I could a) sleep in and b) swim at the outdoor pool during the day! Well, since I knew I could sleep in, and I wanted to get a good night sleep, I cracked a bottle of wine last night planning on 1 or 2 glasses, but that never happens, and I ended up drinking the entire bottle. I did a little dancing, a little record spinning, a little (almost) drunk dialing, and a little picture taking. All in all, it was 100% fun!

I woke up this morning hearing birds chirping, but wanted more sleep, so I turned up the fan in my bedroom, but on my sleep mask and went back to sleep. I slept 8.5 hours, which I haven't done in about a month, and it felt great! It was weird to wake up when it was already light out. I started a pot of coffee and immediately went outside to look around in my yard as it looked to be a gorgeous day. What should I see in my next door neighbor's yard but a deer! She was pretty big, too, and she just looked at me, and I think I said, "CRAP!" I tiptoed back into the house to get my camera, but when I got back out, she was gone. I assume she made it safely to wherever she came from, which would include crossing a busy road. That was really cool!

Then while putzing around on the Internets, I remembered there's a farmer's market and I can go! I am rarely around at 8AM on a Saturday during the summer, and all I could think of was tomatoes, but then I thought it was probably too early for the local ones. I also needed to drop something at the dry cleaners and also some books to donate at the library. I was preparing to swim at 11AM, and I thought I might be able to run :30 before as well, but once I got motivated to do my errands, I realized that I wouldn't have time to run before I swam, so I thought how nice, I could swim an hour, then run :30 from the pool, then go back in the pool to cool down!

The farmer's market did have tomatoes, but they are Canadian. Don't ask me how they are growing good tomatoes in Ontario now when ours are just green on the vine around the Great Lakes area. I didn't ask exactly how they were grown, but I bought a bunch of them, and the ones I've eaten so far (I'm a summer tomato glutton) are excellent. I also got some basil plants, as 2 of the ones I ordered from Burpee more or less disintegrated once I put them into the pots on my patio. So now I'm all set for boatloads of pesto later this summer, and that's sort of a tradition with me. My friend Matt also usually gives me bags of basil, and I'll need some of his since I'm not growing that much really.

I headed to the pool with all my crap, and lap swim was cancelled for some stupid swim meet. Crap! But someone said they'd have 2 lap lanes open at 1PM, so now I went with Plan B, which was to go home, ride for maybe 10 miles on CF, then do my :30 run, and then head to the pool to swim.

Riding was fun, but I could tell I've really been putting the hurt to my legs lately. I forget that 16-mile runs are pretty stressful to someone like me who doesn't run 6 or 7 minute miles. Anyway, riding was fun, and then I got ready to run, and I headed south into the headwind and uphill at the same time. I did this last weekend and about died, but today, even though my legs were plenty fatigued, I felt much better. I think I'm heat acclimating finally (it was about 82). I hadn't brought any Gatorade with me thinking I could deal with :30, but then I realized it was hot, and so I ended up running to this park where there's water fountains, which was a good thing, because I needed more water even though I chugged some Gatorade before I left my house.

Then I get home, drive back to the pool thinking I'm going to do 3,000 meters, and I get there and no lap lanes are set up. I inquire about this, and the young guards look at me like I'm crazy. Someone told me there'd be lanes, but they said nope. Well, it's a huge pool, so I figured, what the heck, I'll get my open water time in anyway. I only ended up swimming 2,000 meters, which was fine, because I was plenty tired anyway. I actually enjoyed having to go around people and a few times just dove underwater for a bit. I did achieve the Prime Directive, though, which was to start on evening out my tan.

I get home and messages are on my answering machine--one to remind me of my eye exam on Monday morning, and another from Cindy! Yeah--she's coming here and we're riding 200K tomorrow. Fuckin' A! We will have a blast all around. The forecast calls for a 40% chance of rain, but I don't care. It could change between now and tomorrow, and besides we'll be almost in Iowa anyway, so it doesn't matter.

I've mowed my lawn, now it's time to fix bottles for tomorrow, get the grill started and assorted other crap like straighten up my house. I warned Cindy about the triathlon bomb that's gone off in my house--she can deal with it.

Tomorrow is going to be a fucking excellent day. Cindy and I will be bringing the HARDCORE AGGRO HARDEN THE FUCK UP!

Actual Bike Porn

In honor of Bike Porn 2:


What can I say, but I LOVE MY BITCH!!!

Good Luck to IMCDA Racers!

I know it's a week away and all, but it just seemed time to post a good luck message in case I forget next weekend, since I might be HTFU'ing up in Wisconsin. So here you go--Rob, Rich, Pattie and whoever else is racing IMCDA, I want to wish you the very BEST of luck--know that you are in the best shape of your life, and I'm right behind you getting ready for IMLP (just 4 weeks after you). I know what you will go through; I know how you will feel; I know all of that. Get your head into your game now and let it all go, and remember this:

To achieve satisfaction in everything
Desire it in nothing.
To possess everything,
Desire to have nothing.
To be everything,
Desire to be nothing.
To know everything,
Desire to know nothing.

And here are some pics of another in-shape person to remind you of what you've been doing:

Time for some Pics!!!

Feelin' good and strong, you have to see for yourself:


















My custom aggro shirt, also featuring my Slowtwitch alter-ego, FeFe Ze Iron Poodle




















This one is for Blink140pt6, who is on his way to do IMCDA. I didn't have time to send him a lucky lobster, so here's one for you, Rob!




















Uh...this is how my legs get with a lot of biking and running. Ya think???





















And finally, wouldn't want to leave out an abs shot.

Awesome Long Run this Morning!

I was scheduled to do a 2:30 run today (last week's long run was only 2 hours being just 2 weeks after Triple T). Yesterday I ran about 8 miles after a 2-mile swim plus riding to and from the pool, and my legs felt pretty trashed last night. But I stretched for :35, tried to carb up as much as possible (hot weather and lots of running=not really that hungry) for today's run.

About 10:30PM, I woke up to go pee, and I thought I heard my cell phone ringing, and sure enough, it did. It was a woman I met over the winter at the Y. She is one of the angels I've spoken of--she listened to me babble on about all the crap I was dealing with over the winter and into early spring. Now she has her own troubles. I don't know if I can be as much of an angel to her, but I'm going to try. She's a lot like me in many ways--very logical, analytical, purposeful and always striving for excellence. I can tell she's a bit overwhelmed with her situation (which includes the beginnings of a divorce and they have a 4-year old daughter), just as I was for several months over the winter. But she already knows and has said that she knows things will improve and she will find her happiness again. We talked for almost 2 hours, and I fell peacefully back asleep after that and woke up just as my coffee pot was beginning to brew about 4:45AM.

When I woke up, I felt pretty damn good. I remembered the discussion during the night, and I knew I had a tough run ahead, so I put on my HTFU bracelet. I basically got up, put my running clothes on, drank 2 cups of coffee and ate most of a Powerbar Triple Threat, filled my run bottles with (mostly) defizzed Coke, packed my run bag and I was out of the house within an hour.

The weather was pretty nice this AM--not too terribly hot or humid. I wondered how my legs would feel today considering how sore they felt yesterday before I stretched. But I also felt very good and motivated to run my very best. I hoped to knock out 16-17 miles, depending on how fast I was able to go. I drove to Waterfall Glen and was ready to take off running at 6:00AM on the nose. I parked in a place I don't usually park, which meant I had to start off on some short cut through the parking lot to get to the trailhead. The shortcut includes a few stairs and various roots.

When I was about .1 miles into the trail, AJ ran up next to me. I met AJ this winter while doing one of my NothingMan's. Only I couldn't remember his name until much later! We chatted--he was doing the full loop (9.5 miles), and I told him I was going for 17. He actually got me started out on a good, ease into it pace. I was tempted to stay with him, but I knew I had much more to go, so after about 1/2 mile, I told him to go on up ahead. But I could see him for about the first 4 miles, and I wasn't that far behind.

I ended up running to the Mile 4 marker and a little beyond, and then turned around. I stopped to use the porta-potty that is just before the Mile 4 marker. On the wall I saw a big tick! Well, that made me hurry up and get out of there, although I tried to kill the tick before I left. Of course, just seeing a tick made me itchy and thinking there were bugs all over me for a little while.

I had plenty of Coke for the way back, and didn't feel underfueled or dehydrated. My first out and back loop was about 8.6 miles, and I drank 12 oz. of Coke for the distance. I was running (slowly, but still running) the hills, and feeling pretty good. Back at my car, I drank about 3 oz. of Coke from another bottle (I had brought 3 just in case), and then grabbed another 12-oz. bottle and took off again. I felt so good for the first loop that I wondered if I'd still feel good, since I had already polished off a little more than I ran yesterday.

About 1.5 miles into my second loop, I saw one of these just sitting on the trail:

It's an indigo bunting. I knew what it was because I have a bird guide and have looked through pretty much all of them at one time or another, and I knew it wasn't a bluebird because he was smaller than a bluebird. He just sat on the trail, and I got within about 3 feet of him! I figured this was God's way of presenting to me a very special gift, because it is truly a beautiful bird, and this one wasn't afraid of me!

Also on the way out on my second loop, I saw a bunch of guys without shirts coming the opposite direction, probably a high school cross-country team. I was running really well at this point and almost naked myself, and they all waved and/or said hello to me. I was just glad I was representin' at this point!

I kept going and turned around about 3.6 miles or so out. Now I knew I was getting close to being done. There were several other groups of naked runner guys (sweet) and a few groups of girls who were probably also cross-country runners. One of my favorite songs came on the radio, and of course, I had to do some fancy footwork, much like these guys:

About the same spot as the way out, who should I see again but Mr. Indigo Bunting? He was sitting on the trail in almost the same exact spot, and I stopped to gaze at him and then he flew up into a small nearby tree. A couple of women were running up near me, and I was pointing madly at the tree to make sure they didn't miss this beautiful sight. I told them what kind of bird it is, and one girl (in a heavy British accent) commented that there was probably all sorts of wildlife in there, and I told her that indeed, there is. They had seen a few deer--last week when I ran here, I saw 4.

Now I was pumped up to finish strong, and I told the 2 girls they should go ahead and pass me, but they didn't (they were running 4 miles), and I just took it home, toweled off, got in my car and drove home, feeling great.

And I still feel great. I've got about :20 of strength work to do yet today, and I'm already up to almost 10 hours of training for the week, with about 12 to go, and I'm feeling really, really strong! Between today (I ran 16 miles in 2:30, not bad for me) and yesterday, I've almost run a marathon over 2 days, and I really can't complain! Tomorrow I don't have to swim since I'm doing a 2-mile swim race on Saturday, but if the weather is good, I really want to go for at least 1500 meters at the outdoor pool to recover from today's run (and well, get even more of a tan!), and then I'm biking 2 hours.

I've gone from feeling like I'm about to crumble under the weight of all the training to really feeling great and hitting it hard! I think what's happened is that I'm finally recovered from Triple T and have absorbed it and all my previous NothingMan's.

So you know the drill--it's total HARDCORE AGGRO for the next 3.5 weeks! I'm in 100% HTFU mode now!

Hey There

While running today, I heard this song. It has several connotations to me--one of which is directed towards someone that I'm not sure is reading my blog anymore. Another would be, well, my general obsession with Ironman, or should I say triathlon or should I say biking? No matter--I like the song, but please excuse the 80's video--it sucks.

And for the record, I'm fucking tired. Biked to/from pool, swam 3200 meters (I feel so Canadian!), and then around noon I ran 8 miles at a pretty good clip for the first 5, and then my legs said slow down, and I'm still heat acclimating so I did.

WHO STOLE MY LEGS????

Actual Bike Porn

Click on the post title. Stay tuned--this Friday is gonna be good!

I've left a link to this blog in my sidebar.

And you thought *I* was a dirty bike whore :)

Sex my Bitch Up!

Believe it or not, I haven't washed Bitchie since last fall. I know, I know--I'm guilty of Bitch abuse. I have wiped her off a litte bit here and there, but no full cleaning until this morning. And because she now sports Nokons, I can no longer just hose my Bitch down--I have to gingerly fondle every nook and cranny with the Bike Wash either lightly sprayed on (which I can do on the brakes and rear derailleur), or wiped on with a splooge towel (well actually a shop towel, but go with me here).

Well, today was the best cleaning I've ever done of Bitchie! I got almost everywhere on her, and I know she appreciated the attention. I think I now know where all of her special spots are. And I'm almost motivated to take her completely apart this fall--does anyone know where I can find a Bike Valet to do this for me???

Anyway, here she is all cleaned up before I put all the accessory crap back on her:














And here's the Hydro Tail with the new Specialized Rib Cage Pros:















Beautiful, huh? Funny thing is I took Bitchie to The Bike Shop Saturday afternoon to get these put on and a few other things, but the dude put both the X-lab straps on the same cage, which is not what I wanted, but I didn't realize it until I got home. I coped for Sunday's ride, but then I figured I'd just move them around. Nope. I needed to buy an 8mm wrench to hold the lock nuts in place to screw properly. Then I realized that the longer cage bolts required for the X-lab straps would not fit end-to-end inside the Hydro Tail properly, and I'd need slightly shorter ones (imagine that--needing a shorter screw). So last night before massage school, I went to the local Trek store, and headed to the Service area to get some different ones. Turns out one of the wrenches is a very young guy who had just done his very first triathlon, only the swim was cancelled and it was a duathlon! He asked me how many triathlons I've done, and I told him I don't know exactly...but 12 this year already! He and the other wrench got all googly-eyed at this, and I told them to track down my blog.

So before I started the foreplay...er...cleaning this morning, I undid the cages and switched to the new bolts, and everything is all good now.

Here are Bitchie's lubricants. She gets a little dry from time to time since I ride her pretty hard:














And finally, here she is with all her accessory crap on (and her lubricants):














Now that she's all sparkly and all, I almost don't want to ride her. Nah--you know me--I'm going to go ride her like the little Bitch she is soon enough. And if we have good weather on Sunday and it's not too windy, I'm going to put on the disk and front Cane Creek and we'll go stylin' as Ultra Bitch and Crackhead!

Yesterday's Ride and I Had One of "The Dreams"

I got EIGHT HOURS of sleep last night!!!! See, I was so exhausted and sore yesterday, I figured I'd sleep well, and I did. Even though I woke up at 12:30AM to a lot of lightning and thunder, I fell back asleep pretty quickly as it was a quickly passing storm.

Yesterday I was planning on driving north to do this ride called BCLC Ramble. I enjoyed it so much last year that I thought I'd repeat. But when I looked at the weather forecast, it called for a higher chance of rain up there (pretty much due north) than by me, and then I thought how nice to not spend 3 hours driving, so I bagged it and decided to ride to Fermilab from home.

My legs were fucking tired at the get go. But I thought that with a nice 1 hour warmup they should come around. They never really did. About 2 hours in, I started having the thoughts of gee I could just bag this--if I only rode 4 hours it would be enough. But then that little HTFU guy was sitting on the other shoulder telling me that I needed for this to be a huge training week. So I pressed on, even though I wasn't riding particularly well.

And then the winds really picked up. I mean REALLY PICKED UP! Look at the graph below and notice what starts happening around 9:30AM:





On Saturday, the winds were around 15MPH, which is still pretty good wind for working hard (and I did), but when this shit started, I was like OMG! When I was riding east, the cross winds didn't bother me, but riding west or south were crazy! Since I wasn't feeling too great anyway, at first I didn't acknowledge that it was the wind causing me to suck so much, but as I came on other riders, I'd ask if it was worse than yesterday, and they said hell yeah!

I pressed on, planning on doing 4 loops, which would give me 94 miles. When I was midway through the last loop, the sky began to look a little menacing, but it looked like it was to the north. Still, we've been stuck in this thunderstorm factory for about a week now, and I decided that with all the wind, even if I didn't do a full loop I'd still get in plenty of riding.

As I continued around now, I cut out 2 east-west sections, as I just couldn't face riding west into the headwinds anymore. As I neared my exit, the clouds began gathering above me now, so it was time to hammer the hell home.

It's been a few years since I've done rain sprints, and good thing I hadn't been riding too hard because I had plenty of giddy up in my legs once I got through the 1/2 mile south leg before I turned east.

And when I turned east, it was all good. I just put the hammer down because now I was trying to beat a storm. At one stoplight, I was next to a car and a little girl was smiling at me. Dad rolled down the window and told me she had said, "That boy is going really fast." Well, from the back, it's hard to tell. I took it as a compliment because I was riding really fast. They did, however, notice that I am a girl, and I said to the little doll, "See? Girls can ride really fast, too!" She smiled, the light changed, and off we went again. More hammering.

About 7 miles from home, 3 roadies (not FRP's) came up on me at a stoplight, and we chatted about the wind, etc. I asked them how much riding they'd done and they were at about 80 miles. One of them looked at my Ergomo and saw the time on there and said, "Oh, looks like you've been out for awhile, too." Yep. So I latched onto their wheels for about 3 miles, one of them split off, and I stayed with the other 2 for about another mile.

Then it started raining. I'm 3 miles from home now, and the rain is coming a little hard. I made an executive decision to duck into a parking garage, and it was a wise move. Then the deluge began. Rain dumping down going every which way, but I was all safe and snug in my parking garage. I even did a few laps in there! The clouds looked to be moving fast, so I knew I wouldn't have to wait very long. I didn't time it (I no longer wear a watch while on the bike; the Ergomo has a clock, but I don't bother making intervals), but I figure it lasted 20 minutes? Thing is now when I have to wait like this I'm pretty relaxed. Actually I was glad for the break, but I wasn't too happy about riding on soaked roads, but what are you going to do? I figured I had to make a fast break because there would probably be more rain coming.

I made it home pretty filthy from all the road spray, and I took everything off Bitchie and wheeled her into the garage to clean her off a bit (full cleaning sometime today).

When I showered, there were bugs all over me as well as some nice road grime, and then bike grime since I'd wiped down my rims and that stuff got all over my hands. As always, though, it was the best shower ever, and then I made myself a big plate of nachos, and decided I wasn't into the Endurox R4. I mean, how can you drink that with nachos? So I cracked a beer, and it tasted, well, great.

I noticed pretty quickly than in stopping exercising that my legs were pretty fucked up, and that I would need to lay down. I checked the TV listings (no, still don't have cable; I barely watch TV anymore as it is), and saw that Jackie Brown was on. But on network, meaning they would need to censor pretty much every line. Still, I wanted to make it without passing out to the scene where Louis shoots Melanie. Below is a funny scene and then a summary of the movie with all the shit that got censored from the movie.





And I pretty much laid around and then stretched and then passed out for good. When I woke up this morning, I had just had a dream that I was doing IMLP and I had just got my bike to go ride. My legs felt bad, I couldn't pedal, and then I look down and notice my power meter is gone as are my aerobars! In the dream I then stopped and was sobbing uncontrollably. And then I woke up.

Weekly Workout Totals 06/02/2008-06/08/2008

I'm not even sayin'...I'm too fucking tired to be sayin'...you just be readin' and thinkin' 'bout how this feels. And oh yeah, check out that TSS score. Yeah, you heard it right. I HTFU'd. Did you?

Weekly Workout Totals	06/02/2008-06/08/2008 This week's totals are sponsored by the WIND. There was so much of it this weekend that I have to hold it accountable for my extreme tiredness.
Swim:	10400 yards (5.9 miles) in 3.85 hours; 17% of weekly workout time; approx. 1348 calories burned Canadian: 9509.76 meters
Bike:	Approx. 211.79 miles in 12.1 hours; 55% of weekly workout time; approx. 5220 calories burned; Total TSS=612 Canadian: 340.84 kilometers
Run:	Approx. 32.45 miles in 5 hours; 23% of weekly workout time; approx. 2260 calories burned Canadian: 52.22 kilometers
Strength:	1.13 hours; 5% of weekly workout time; approx. 283 calories burned Canadian: I lifted many grams
All Sports:	Approx. 250.14 miles in 22.08 hours; approx. 9111 calories burned Canadian: 402.56 kilometers
Sleep:	7.32 hours avg./night Getting a little bit more now. Seems I need to be 100% exhausted to sleep well, but hey, waking up at 3:45AM comes in handy on the weekends when I have to ride to Alaska and back!
Stretching:	2.18 hours. Massage: 2.5 hours I done well here, eh?

Today's Workouts

First, I went for a nice 4 hour ride. I left about 6:20AM because it's so fucking humid and was supposed to get to 90 today (it hasn't yet, but the humidity is oppressive). I rode to Fermilab, did about 2.5 loops for a total of 70 miles, not a bad ride. On the way there, I rode up on 2 girls riding side by side. I say, "Hi, ladies, how are you?" They say fine, and then I ask if they are also going to Fermilab. They say no, just doing a few miles (WTF is that anyway???). Well, I caught up to them and passed them roundly all nice and aero tucked, and they came up at a stoplight. One of them asks me if I'm training for an Ironman. Ya fucking think??? I caught up to your sorry asses and passed you riding hard aero. I was nice, though, and said yes. She asks which one, Wisconsin? And I flippantly reply, "No, Placid." She asks, "Where do you do hill training?" I must have rolled my eyes at this point because I laugh when someone asks me that--there's riding hard and there's slacking. If you ride hard, no matter terrain, you will do fine on hills. Well, being this close to my A race, I'm getting a little bitchy, so I open up on her and say, "I can't believe how ignorant some people are. I train with power, I ride hard, I understand how to ride hills. But, yeah, I'll go up to Wisconsin a few times just because." This chic is treating me like I know nothing, like I'm doing my first Ironman. I mean come on! LOOK AT MY BITCH!!! Does it look like a newbie bike? And I'm in an aggressive aero position. Geez. Well, after that, I just rode really hard because I was done with that scene.

I get to Fermilab and took this shot of Bitchie at the entrance, where I then peed (camera phone shot):














And then I rode around doing my thing. It was hot, humid, but thankfully cloudy. I saw my massage school owner buddy, Mike. He worked on me last night and didn't charge me for it. He's absofuckinglutely awesome! I figured I'd see him today. I gave him some Infinit to try, as he's had issues with nutrition. I'll find out on Monday if it worked for him.

My first interval (I did my usual 3x crap, where crap=20' ride pretty hard, 10' ride fucking hard, 2' ride REALLY FUCKING HARD, 8' ride easy) wasn't too hot, but the next 2 were good. I felt great, and my new Infinit concoction (which I have named "Money Shot") was working great. I never felt hungry for anything else.

Part way into my first interval, I'm riding fucking hard, and a group of 3 roadies comes by me. They don't even say hello--they just pass me. Assholes. Because when I saw them leave the East Gate, they slowed way down. Assholes. So I made up a new term (added to my Crackology): FRP, which stands for Fucking Roadie Prickberry. You see, they probably have pencil dicks and tiny little balls, hence the prickberry (I made up that word). So feel free to call someone an FRP when you need to. Don't get me wrong--there are plenty of nice roadies, and of course when I'm on LGL no worries, but for fuck's sake I'm on a tri bike, I ride my Bitch hard, and I'm not a fucking poser. The FRP's of course had to speed up just to pass me because I'm a "triathlete." Fuck off, FRP's.

After interval #3, I rode down a different road in Fermilab just for shits and grins, and came upon this nice blue circle, so I took a pic of Bitchie in front of it and then peed there (camera phone shot):














Then I rode home, and the winds were strong southerly with some westerly, so it was an easy trip back. When I was about 5 miles from home, I'm at a stoplight and I look down and see something and pick it up and it's a tiny, tiny monkey! I love monkeys, so I smiled and put him in my Bento Box. Here he is in front of this computer so you can see just how tiny he is. He will now become my lucky tiny monkey!














When I got home, I took off my bike shorts and put on run shorts and a visor, switched sunglasses and headed out to run. OH MY FUCKING GOD! The heat and humidity were crazy! But I smiled most of the time because I felt like such an idiot, but also good. I knocked out my 40' brick run, came home, had to do a quick shower because I was so pigged out, put on a swimsuit (no clothes I just couldn't do it), drove to the Y to swim just 1,000 yards to cool down and give my legs a nice massage, came home, and now I need to go to the bike shop for some minor stuff.

All in all, a good day's work, and I'm psyched about riding 100 miles tomorrow, and NO RUNNING!

Train hard!

Fuckin' Bottles and Random Thoughts

I live in a fucking bottle factory. Between the Gatorade bottles used for running, swimming and random training, the bike bottles, the Endurox R4 bottles and the Ultrafuel bottles, my yellow line is going through the roof lately. And then there's the coffee (no bottles involved--just grinding beans once a week) and the beer bottles. Fucking bottles!

Did you ever notice when you're mixing concentrated Infinit and you stir it with, say a knife, that when it's dripping off the knife it looks like, well, jiz? Only difference is my mix contains no protein and boatloads of caffeine. In either case, I'm not sure I really want it, but I have to have it, so down it goes.

It's taken me EIGHT YEARS to figure out that Ultrafuel powder doesn't dissolve well in cold water, so, dumbass that I'd been, I finally started mixing it in warm or hot water the night before and chilling it. It still makes me gag; it still makes me go into an insulin coma when I drink it, which is all good.

I figured out that the gag reflex is something that visits me once I'm in fairly hard training. At that point (which started about 6 weeks ago), when I put something in my mouth that is sweet when I'm not intending to eat (toothpaste, for example), brain thinks I'm threatening to work out again, and it makes me gag. Sometimes I spontaneously start to gag for no good reason when I'm thinking about my next workout. It cracks me up! But at least see, I'm honest about this shit, right? Who else would talk like this? Oh yeah, Kim that potty mouth.

It's Friday, and I'm up to 11.5 hours of training, and I've got about 9.5 hours of biking to do, .75 of running, and I really should try and sneak in a :30 swim. Nothing like it being Friday with 2 days to go in the week and you're only HALF FUCKING DONE WITH YOUR TRAINING!!!

I'm not complainin'...I'm just sayin'.

The outdoor pool was almost hot this morning, but still better than swimming indoors any day. I'll write about today on Pool Stories sometime later.

I'm getting an impromptu massage tonight, after I go visit the booze sample lady, Lila. I'm in need of some major painkiller.

Looking on the bright side, I'm pretty tan. I know, I need to take some new pics, and I will do that soon. The Tiki Hut is in temporary remission, but I'm sure it will make an appearance any day now.

And finally,

GO HARDCORE AGGRO OR GO HOME!

and also

HARDEN THE FUCK UP.

Amen.

I'm Training A LOT

I'm not going on "lockdown" like some bloggers who are doing either IMCDA or IMLP, but I'm starting to really feel it. I should hit something like 22 hours this week, so yeah:



I'm at a loss for words, but read this hilarious post on another blog I came across. And if you don't hear from me again until Monday, well, you know why!

Introducing my MTB Clipless Fuck

I finally named my MTB today, and she shall be called Clipless Fuck (or CF for short). I've had her for 8 years. I bought her so I could ride with "regular" people every now and then, and I use her on days when I am supposed to ride really easy, since that's about all I can do on her! But today was her first inaugural ride as a commuter bike--to the outdoor pool, that is. That's CF parked on deck at my fabulous 50 meter outdoor pool this morning, after I finished swimming 3,000 meters.

I swam most of the workout in the "open water" area that had no lane ropes, but it was cool. Good rotational feedback! So my total bike mileage round trip was 10.62 miles, and it took 42 minutes (stopping, traffic, I suck, etc.). So do I add this to my workout log or not? I think I need to, because if I end up doing it 3 times a week (which is my plan), that's not insignificant miles or time.













Above is me in the locker room dressed to go home with wet hair. My hair is long enough now that I am using a blow dryer after swimming! The disgrace! Don't worry--I'm not growing it out--just keeping it a bit longer on top, and thankfully I'm getting a haircut tonight because I'm such a mophead.










Above is CF with my bitchin' Hello Kitty beach towel that is the official towel of outdoor swimming this year. I think I need to get a new helmet, though. That silver one is old and not too stylin'. I may get a pink one--I'm not sure!










I told you I got pimp shoes. But they are really nice. I'm wearing my sushi socks in them.













Here I am all ready to ride home. My new pink TYR backpack is AWESOME! At first I thought it was too big, but all my swim crap fits in there nicely, and it's comfortable to wear on the bike.













My frame pump doubles as an emergency dildo in a pinch.










Random fixie locked up near the train tracks on the way home. I'm still waiting for my fixie to arrive and make sure it will fit me properly. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, as I already have a name for him!

Ironman Training Graph

I was thinking about this this morning after like my third trip to the bathroom. Those of you who haven't yet trained for an Ironman, consider this! Note than when you are training 20+ hours per week you are spending even more time eating.

I Should Write for Inside Triathlon

So the issue I just received (I still do not know why I get these magazines--not learning anything, OK pretty pictures especially of BIKES) has an article called "2 Ironmans in 3 Months Can You Handle It?

Yes. 2003 DNF'ed IMWI (after 1/2 the marathon so close enough); GFT 8 weeks later
Yes. 2004 IMCAN and then IMHI 7 weeks later
Yes. 2007 IMLP and then full NothingMan 7 weeks later
Yes. 2008 IMLP and then full NothingMan 7 weeks later again

YES YES YES YES YES.

Why are they asking me??? And why are they giving people THREE MONTHS to do a double? That is just plain wussy.

As you should know by now, I am the totally wrong person to ask, "Can I....?" It should not be a question of can--it should be a question of are you fit enough. Should I have done it in 2003? Maybe not, because I did suffer at GFT, and by suffer I mean my legs were not right and I wasn't really fit enough for the double so close together. In 2004? No problemo. First and second fastest IM's at the time. 2007? Piece of cake. 2008? I'm looking more forward to NothingMan 2 ("Nothing is Impossible if you Really Try") than IMLP, because do you know how fit I will be after IMLP? Really fucking fit! And then I just roll that fitness on to NothingMan 2 with a ton of biking, a little swimming, and maintenance running.

Actually, I think it's better that you don't separate your double by more than 3 months. Why? Because otherwise you really risk burnout. Which is why in 2006 I did Brazil and was registered for Florida, and they were just so far apart, I couldn't mentally handle that I'd need to stay fit for that long, and there is no way I could slack in between. So I just bagged IMFL. I had boatloads of fun biking a lot, and look what has happened since that time...

Now if you qualify for Kona early in the year, you've got some serious mindset adjustments to make so you don't burnout. I hope I have that problem one of these days...

I swear, I could write books...

Weekly Workout Totals 05/26/2008-06/01/2008 and Found a New Event!

A small collection of lobsters in my downstairs bathroom













My festive lobster light, one of my lobster throw pillows (I made it) and the Lucky Lobster!


I am so excited now, being only 7 weeks out from IMLP. Whereas some athletes start experiencing burnout or boredom, not me! I just (as you should know by now) fucking love riding bikes! So as long as I'm riding a lot, I'm a happy camper! I only rode 2 of my bikes this week--a nice recovery ride on my MTB (she has no name, but I'll think of one one of these days) with my new pimpin' white Shimano shoes (yes, I need to take pics), a shortie ride Saturday on Bitchie with the aero helmet, and of course yesterday's ride. When I'm riding on Sundays, I always think of it as my "church" (the church of the bicycle--I bought this jersey for a guy in Germany who did graphics work for my LGL decals that I'm ordering this week), and so I said to a few friends at rest stops along the way that I had a prayer for them, since we weren't physically in church. It goes like this:

HARDEN THE FUCK UP. AMEN.

I ended up riding a few miles yesterday with a nice gentleman who back in the day was a road racer. When I'm doing really long rides, I enjoy trying to draw out the other person, because I know it makes them feel good and besides I already know all about myself! So while this man no longer races (my guess is he's in his 40's), he's a solid rider, and he now does ultracycling events. Do you hear a word in that sentence calling my name? He tells me about this 200-mile ride he's doing for the second time in August, and it's not too far from home for me. And it's pancake flat. So guess what? I'm seriously thinking about it. It's called the Metamora 4 by 50, and it's 3 weeks after IMLP. Now, you'd think I'd learned from 2 tries at the Dairyland Dare 300K ride that 3 weeks after an Ironman is not a good time for ultracycling, but in this case, given the flatness, and also the option to just complete 150 miles (which I'm positive I can do, since I've managed 200K with 9,000 ft. climbing last year same time), I think I will be good to go! Plus, August is my "garbage up on cycling month," and I didn't really have anything massive planned except for a relatively flat 200K ride on 8/24.

So, I think with a few minor adjustments to my training (really just skip one of my weekend long rides and maybe add some time to them the week before), I should be good to go. Now lest you think this is leading up to a desire to do RAAM, think again. I just want to do something I've never done before, and my longest ride to date is 135 miles. The big question is whether to do it on Bitchie or LGL. I'm thinking Bitchie, so I can lay down in the aerobars. Who's in with me? I think I can con a few of my friends into doing this, after all, I'm one of the biggest pushers in the world!

And here are my totals for last week. Not bad for a recovery week, eh? Thank GOD I get to go to massage school tonight! And I'm swimming outdoors this morning! What a way to start a week!

Weekly Workout Totals	05/26/2008-06/01/2008 This week's totals are sponsored by…Lobsters! Read all about them here.
Swim:	7300 yards (4.14 miles) in 2.7 hours; 17% of weekly workout time; approx. 945 calories burned Canadian: 6675.12 meters
Bike:	Approx. 172.38 miles in 9.87 hours; 64% of weekly workout time; approx. 4287 calories burned; Total TSS=494 Canadian: 277.42 kilometers
Run:	Approx. 14.87 miles in 2.31 hours; 15% of weekly workout time; approx. 1047 calories burned Canadian: 23.93 kilometers
Strength:	0.63 hours; 4% of weekly workout time; approx. 158 calories burned Canadian: I lifted many grams
All Sports:	Approx. 191.39 miles in 15.51 hours; approx. 6437 calories burned Canadian: 308.01 kilometers
Sleep:	6.71 hours avg./night Canadian: Does the Canadian Moose sleep standing up?
Stretching:	1.83 hours. Massage: 0 hours

Today's Ride

Yeah, so I did this ride today. 102 miles by myself in 5:33. Not bad for a day's work 1 week after Triple T. It was flat to rolling, with most of the rolling in the last 15 miles. GORGEOUS day! There were several times when I wanted to slack, but I wore my HTFU bracelet so that's what I did. The time includes several bottle fumbling events, since I was testing out my Hydro Tail on a big ride.

What's significant about this?

1. I know I can go faster.
2. I rode this tired.
3. My IF was .733 and TSS 299 (NP=136) which is PERFECT for an Ironman ride
4. I don't feel too trashed, other than the fact that I still trained GO HARD OR GO HOME style this week just following Triple T
5. It was my SECOND RIDE on Bitch this year!!!
   

I think my CdA is down. My new rear bottle position helps as does the fact that I'm a bit smaller and leaner. My next move is to get S-bend aerobars. Despite this being only my 2nd ride on Bitch, I was very comfortable in my aero position (except for my poor crotch, but it's coming around). I've noticed in just the last month that I can almost put my palms on the floor when I do a forward bend (i.e., touch your toes). I find it amazing that I've become more flexible in the past year. I'm not stretching any more than I used to--I'm just being consistent about it, now for 3 years, I think.

I LOVE my Bitch. The Nokon cables are just fucking cool. All's I need now is about 5 more 100+ mile rides (which I'll easily get in) before IMLP and I'm fucking all set to go.

I tell ya, riding a road bike makes you strong. And stretching is good for holding a fairly aggressive aero position, which I do. And new bike parts can never hurt.

I made up some new rules today:

1. Beers that you drink after riding but before you shower don't count.
2. Doing a supported ride in a skinsuit is more gay than wearing an aero helmet (I didn't wear mine today because I feared being ridiculed, but I wore it yesterday for a puny 2:40 ride to test it out and it FUCKING ROCKS)
3. Riding a $4,000+ tri bike at 15MPH is very wrong.
4. Tube socks aren't too stylish on a bike. Almost as bad as compression socks on the run! (except for Jamie, who can get away with tube socks any time)
5. If you can't control your appetite while on a supported ride, how the hell do you think you are going to lose weight training for an Ironman? My God, I saw people putting on the feed bag today, and many of them weren't riding 100 miles.

Edit: I just mowed my lawn and ended up hypoglycemic, so I ran...er...stumbled into the house and stuffed my face with some orange slices and am waiting for them to take effect. I LOVE when this happens!

This Goes Out to...

I'm not sayin'

A Little Saturday Morning Bike Porn

She's getting there. I still need to mount a carbon cage on the seat tube (I need to consult with my LBSG first to ensure I'm using the right hardware & torque), and I also need to get different cages for the Hydro Tail. Other than that, Bitch is all set to go! Isn't she beautiful with the Nokons?





















She got her self some new bar-end shifters.




















Isn't that Hydro Tail pretty? I just ordered the BLUE Rib Cage Pros. They will look awesome back there!

































My new Louis Garneau aero helmet. Nice, huh?

Tiki Hut Residents Celebrate Great Triple T Performance

...and everyone appears to be getting some satisfaction...

Triple T Race Photographs

I don't believe there were official race photos last year, but this time there were. It can be difficult to find yourself in the sea of everyone dressed in black, but wearing a red helmet, swimsuit bottom and streamers helped!

Click on the post title to get to the pics!