On Being Executor, or I AM

I know this is a deviation from my normal triathlon content, but I knew at some point I would need to say it here. Some of this might not make sense to you depending on what spiritual texts you have read, but I think you will still see a point to it.

Throughout the past 6 months, I have come to discover many people who have been in this position, and we have shared tips and stories and emotions, you name it. In fact, I just got off the phone with a nice gentleman who works at an insurance company, and he had been Executor for a relative as well. He used to be a boxer.

There is a reason we are chosen to fulfill this role. We are strong, determined and steadfast. We are able to compartmentalize the crap that is thrown in our faces by so many people who have their own issues but no good tools to resolve them other than to become agitated and highly emotional, taking out their ill will on whoever happens to be in their paths--much like a tornado.

I have had the pleasure to speak with and work with so many people who are, I think, angels walking about waiting to be called into service by someone like me who needs the help. Some of them read this blog and some of them don't. Those who do know that who I am on this blog is I AM. It is just my personal expression of I AM that is put on display here, colored with that sometimes troublesome but usually fun and creative ego that I have.

If there is one thing that will show you I AM it is being an Executor, as it requires you to process your own grief as well as the evil spirits that are emanating from those around you who do not yet know that THEY ARE TOO but would rather persist in creating separation instead of oneness and wholeness. And you discover all the angels who know I AM and it's in the finding of these people that you not only know you are doing the right earthly things that are required in the processing of someone's death, but that you have been given the opportunity to perhaps be one small step closer to enlightenment.

Now I know this is going to sound ultra-corny, but the other day I was thinking about the I AM and then the M-dot which is I superimposed on M, and it all made sense to me. I'm not saying that Ironman is the I AM, but for me the IM has helped me to know the I AM. Ironman has simply been my vehicle for developing and nurturing my inner strength, peacefulness, and I hope, the ability to be someone else's angel. And that's why I was put into this role, and that's why I'm extremely proud to say that I AM and I am an Ironman. All this training and racing I do, well, it's easy. Ironman is easy. I AM not so much, but it's getting easier.

As difficult as the past 6 months have been for me, I am grateful for the experience, knowing that it was given to me to move deeper into the I AM. Thank you, universe!