Today’s Workouts: Mental Toughness

Since I was smart enough to shell myself yesterday by doing 3 workouts, followed by 9.5 hours of sleep (I had a travel day today), all I had to do today was finish up my strength workout and do my bike workout.

When I woke up this morning (first at 3:30AM, then at 4:00AM, again at 5:30AM and finally at 6:00AM), I didn’t feel particularly bad; I just thought this might be a good day to take a rest day. So I gathered my things for my overnight (hopefully!) business trip, making sure to pack 2 days of running clothes in case I get stranded, did some work, and decided I should at least try and finish my strength workout.

8:25AM Lift 3x12, legs and finish up abs and core, 18’. No problems doing this, no particular fatigue from yesterday or anything.

I knew I needed to get my bike workout started no later than 10:15 since I was being picked up to go to the airport at 12:30. Again, I was trying to decide whether or not to do the workout—I felt fine physically, but I thought maybe mentally I need a break from this, but then I rationalized that on Thursday I will have to do my bike workout on a cheesy gym bike, so today would be my highest quality day. So I suited up and got ready to ride.

10:10AM Bike 1:30. WU: 10’ easy, 3’ spinups, 3x(2’ Z3, 1’ cd). MS: 10’, 12’, 15’, 20’ (2’) FT intervals. CD: 5’. Interval watts were 160, 160, 159 and 159 respectively. Not bad!

There is no getting around this being an incredibly monstrously hard workout when done on a trainer, or maybe I am just a wussy old lady who is too girly to suck it up more? I would really like to hear from some young bike stud that doing this is HARD. Add it up—there is 57’ total of FT time—so why doesn’t everyone just go and ride AS HARD AS POSSIBLE FOR 60’ STRAIGHT!!! Well, it does help to have those 2’ rest periods between each interval, but still, it is just hard to describe what this is like to do. I have the TV on mute with the TDF on, I have good dance music cranked, but I can barely focus on the TV, because what I’m focusing on is the number on the freaking Power Meter. I don’t care what my HR is because that is not the number that concerns me. FYI, I get my HR much higher than I do during my tempo run intervals.

Many times during these intervals I will find myself looking basically at the top tube when not staring at the Power Meter. When I was on the third interval (15’), I had convinced myself that I only needed to do one more 15’ interval—that it wasn’t that important to bump it up to 20’. But then I thought about why am I thinking that? These workouts aren’t just physically tough—they are mentally brutal, and in fact, it may be the mental aspect that is really what’s so hard. My coach and others (including me) have confirmed that if you do this stuff outdoors (let’s say on a nice 75-degree day), that it’s much easier, your HR is lower, and you actually have to watch it so you don’t kick out TOO MANY watts. So if I’m feeling like wussing out, it’s a mental thing, and every time I don’t give in to that crap, I get a tiny bit stronger. Sure maybe I would have only cut 5’ from the workout, but then you know where that can lead…I don’t even want to think about that.

It is very easy to say you are going to do something; it’s entirely another thing to actually DO it. I really have a problem (OK, pet peeve—jump on me right now!) with talk-talk. You are better off not saying it, not claiming to commit, not getting your own hopes up than talking about it and failing to execute. I like to be known to others as a person who says what she does, and does what she says. I guess that makes me ISO 9000 compliant, huh? Seems like a good life policy to me. This is right in line with what I was spewing forth about yesterday—how that when life throws you curveballs, you have choices—either change the outcome expectations or hit the damn ball out of the park! (I can’t believe I am using all these other sports analogies, including sports that I typically find VERY boring to watch.)

I’m not saying I’ve never succumbed to the demon voices—I certainly have—but I try to limit their power as best I can by doing a few things:

• Understanding where they are coming from. Am I stressed? Am I bored? Am I overtrained? Am I having emotional issues that I’m not facing?
• Asking myself will I feel worse or better if I give in. Usually the answer is WORSE, and that stops the demons dead in their tracks.

That’s usually about all it takes to just move on and GET IT DONE. This is part of my self-observation practice. If you can behave like a third party to yourself and just look and not be judgmental, you stand a much better chance of making the right decisions. And I’m not just talking sports here. I decided a few months ago that it was high time I stopped going through life half-unconscious. It’s time for me to step up, see myself for who I am (and make adjustments where warranted) and be more in every single moment.

I have to tell you that the elapsed time from where I thought about shortening my workout today to where I made the decision NOT to was about 5”. Once you learn to step back just a little bit, you can make much better decisions. This is also my approach to food cravings. I let myself indulge in the fantasy of having the food for maybe 10”, and then it just passes. But if I decide to give in, then I GIVE IN fully committed! But giving in once doesn’t need to lead to always giving in. Whenever someone asks me how long did it take for me to have the physique that I have, my answer is usually, “49 years.” Or however old I am. Wherever we are today is the result of countless, seemingly small, decisions that we’ve made moment to moment. I am finding the more I can seek to process a decision IN THAT MOMENT, the more likely I am to make a “good” decision for myself. For example, I am getting better at catching myself getting annoyed by someone else’s behavior and being able to stop momentarily and ask myself, “Is it worth it for me to react this way?” And mostly the answer is NO. Sometimes, though, my mouth gets the better of me and I say something out loud that perhaps in retrospect I shouldn’t have, but I also recognize sometimes that emotions are stronger than any rational thought process, and they also need to be honored.

The only downside to today is that I didn’t officially stretch. I am giving myself a “bye” on that, and will definitely get some in tomorrow, or even now as I relax before retiring for the evening.