Make it HURT

My friends, the ultra-focused long rides, are back. As it should be. I've got to get in a number of them in the next few weeks to be ready, REALLY READY, for Ironman Brazil. I just wouldn't have it any other way.

Last summer, prior to Ironman Wisconsin, I got my first taste of these rides. They are the sort of thing that to execute them properly, it's tough to ride with someone else, unless they are willing to do what *I* need to do. They are best done on the flats (how convenient that I live in Flatland!), and I enjoy them more with a stiff headwind (cross winds not so much).

I got my wishes in spades today. The high only got to 68, and there were stiff east/east northeast winds blowing. When I do these rides, I go west. So in a perverted sense, I was excited today because I knew I'd have to ride home into a headwind!

I loaded up the Lobster bike (my road bike--the SRM isn't back until Monday, unlike what the service center promised--so it's road bike this weekend, and the Power Tap is fucked up or just needs a battery or something so I'm riding on feel, but I know what FUCKING HARD feels like!), and suited up. I chose rather skimpy riding clothes, since the plan was for a 4-hour ride followed by a 30-minute run. I pulled some weeds in my front yard flower bed to test out the temperatures, and knew I'd be fine.

The bike workout was to be this:
WU: 60' @ 65-70%
MS: 2 x (40' @ 88-90%, 10' Easy), 20' Easy, then 1 x 20' @ FT.
Remainder (50') is 80-85%, as you feel.

Remember, I rarely just go out and JFR anymore, although I did so in South Carolina due to the presence of certain "mountains." With those, you just push it up and hang on as you fall off the damn things.

I headed out and oh joy! Tailwind, so I'm in the 52/13 (highest available gear) heading west to Fermilab. Fermilab has an accelerator ring that you can see from an airplane. Very high-tech. Since I am going senile, I didn't remember how long it normally takes for me to get there from my house, nor did I have an odometer, but I figured on about an hour, and I was correct. Then I figured I'd do the 2x40' in there (a couple of loops), and then head back to a T intersection (Eola Road and Bilter, for those of you who might know the area), then west again to do the FT interval, and finally turn around and head for home.

What a beautiful day! I love being in Fermilab, because, well, it's so scientific. You see these various buildings where they are doing who-knows-what, and there are huge tanks of liquid helium and liquid nitrogen hanging around. And REALLY BIG electrical thingies. But there are woods in there, and also a herd of buffaloes (which I like to call bobbleheads), and there is very little to no traffic in there, and the roads are decent, so it's a nice place to put the focus hammer down.

And focus I did. The loop was mostly windy, and I would just pop into the big chain ring and ride as hard as I could for as long as I needed to. I could feel the muscular fatigue in my quads, but I didn't care. It was good I didn't have a speedometer, because I didn't care. All I cared about was make it hurt. Make it count. And I did. I could tell sort of from my heart rate and my calorie burn that I was kickin' it. And since I was riding mostly on flatness, there was no coasting, although I did have to stop and pee a few times, but I made it quick, because I was so into getting it done today.

While I was in there, I saw: buffalo, horses, egrets, herons, robins, cardinals, a red-tailed hawk and at least 10 other cyclists, all of whom had on way more clothes than me. All of them were happy to smile and wave at me, as I did to them, except for one woman. She looked a little surly on her tri bike (perhaps she was looking down at my silly clip-ons on a road bike which I was barely even using) as if she was the only one "working." WTF??? I can always at least lift my left hand off of wherever it is to give some sort of acknowledgment.

As I was leaving Fermilab, I thought to myself that I have come a long way, when I really have no problem looping around to get my "work intervals" done. There are other places I can ride, but I like being surrounded by science in a safe-riding haven even though I suppose I am picking up some spare electrons or something. I always feel pretty good when I'm in there!

But, as is always the case, all good things come to an end. So I left the place with one more nasty interval to go. And this one would include a few short hills. The deal was NO shifting into the small chainring even for those. I had to grind it a little bit, but no worries, it was only 20'. Most of it was on a north-south road, so I avoided the stiff easterly winds. But then I turned to ride home. Total headwind! Which was great, since I was not allowed to lollygag on the tail end of the ride.

About this time, my right foot started to hurt a bit, which was funny because usually my rule is 5 hours riding or 80 miles before that happens. But I guess with all the wind and with all the effort I was pushing (I would REALLY like to have seen what my true watts were--oh well, next weekend I get the big surprise!), it happened a little sooner, at just 3:30 in. At this point, I knew I had a long ride back into the headwind, so I unclipped that foot and stretched it a bit, and kept going.

Stupid road bike doesn't have quite the aerodynamic position of my tri bike, but I made do. I got sick of riding in the hoods so I used the silly clip-on aerobars, which helped with the aerodynamics a little bit. I think I was gritting my teeth all the way back.

But wait--when I was about 5 miles from home (more or less), I got a special treat--2.5 miles of recently grooved road. I envisioned that I was riding the cobbles of Paris-Roubaix or something like that. It was actually better on the road bike than it would have been on the tri bike, but it still sort of sucked. But I was laughing, like how much more could this hurt? Here I'm kicking out HIM watts (most likely), I'm riding into a stiffy, I'm on fucking GROOVEMENT (that's what I call it, anyway), and joy of joys, now I get to ride up another hill! It just doesn't get any better than this! I was thinking that if I can remember shit like this during Ironman Brazil, the race should be a piece of cake. Note: training rides should ALWAYS be harder than the Ironman ride, if you are pacing properly, that is.

When the groovement ended, I was grateful (er...maybe I was grateful while I was on it). And it was then that I began thinking about my run to come. I have this bad habit of not holding myself back enough when I am supposed to, so I began a mantra, "GO OUT EASY, GO OUT EASY."

Since I'd be running from my house, I figured, what the hell, run east first, right into that headwind, to make it hurt even more, and at least I'd get some relief on the way back.

When I got home, I had to wash my face because I was such a mess of drool, Gatorade, salt, sweat, you name it. I put the running shoes on and assessed my legs. They felt worked. As they should have. OK, so now RUN, asshole.

And out I went. It did not feel good. My legs felt like lead weights. There were 2 young girls stretching as if they were going to run, and I felt obligated to tell them, "I really CAN run, but I just got off my bike after 4 1/2 hours," because I felt like I must've been running like a drunk person. Now, remember, right out my house I have to run up a 1/4 mile hill, so I really get to keep making it hurt. Then I turn left into the headwind.

The wind doesn't feel too bad on the run. I think it died down just a little. No wait. Now it's gusting, and picking up my feet and almost making me fall down. That's one of the fun things about being so lightweight. I literally get my feet picked up more than I'd like when they are already in the air. But it makes me laugh.

As always, I am battling the brick demons. I am just running as best I can. I'm not looking at the HRM, as it would be pointless. I'm just trying to get a decent cadence with tiny wittle steps (a la Elmer Fudd). I pull my hat down further over my eyes as the sun is bugging me and so is the wind. I get to the first mile. 8:42. What the fuck is that? I shouldn't be running that fast (remember, I am S-L-O-W). Especially after that hard ride. But really I don't feel all that bad. Just the usual this-fucking-sucks-it's-a-brick-run-why-the-fuck-do-I-do-this-shit bad. So I figure that since I'm into a headwind, and I will always run faster back towards home, what the hell let's do another 7 minutes out and then turn around.

No problem. It does suck just a teensy-weensy less with the little tailwind. I figure I must look like total crap, but then my head registers, "Hey, we don't really feel all that bad maybe we CAN keep a decent run pace up in an Ironman." I guess the more you do this shit that hurts you, the easier it feels. Thanks coach! My threshold for suckiness is much bigger now. I am thinking that few of my friends that I used to train with could keep up with the shit I do now. Or maybe they could. I alternate between feelings of invincibility and total suckitude. This is what keeps me training, I guess.

I start the last mile home, and all I can think is, "MAKE IT FUCKING STOP." No walking, no slowing down now, just run and get it done. In reality, I was also thinking how long could I keep going like this? And I know that with a little Coke or Ultra Violence, a long, long time (I didn't even use the old Ultra Violence today!!!). I was listening to some music on the radio, but seriously I didn't even hear it.

And I got home. 2300 calories later, you would think I ate my entire house, but I didn't. See yesterday I sort of crashed (verge of overtraining), and knew I had better seriously load up on carbs. So I bought a bunch of crap. 2 Butterfinger easter eggs. 3 Fannie Mae creme eggs. I made a high-fat salad of Boston lettuce (in honor of the marathon on Monday, of course), grape tomatoes, crab meat and Marie's Thousand Island dressing. I forgot the damn avocado! It's a good salad, but hey, it's salad--that's WHAT FOOD EATS! I ate all the candy, the salad, and then snacked on some Cheetos and Jordan almonds. I know, I know--not exactly the most nutricious choices, but I needed to REALLY CHEAT for once. And it was all good! I've been piling on the volume lately, and I didn't want to go into today's workout feeling like shit.

So I stretched some more, and I got my lunch down and now it's about time for dinner. I can't wait to ride tomorrow--3 hours sort of like what I did today, but no brick run (yippee-cay-ay). It's supposed to rain all day tomorrow, so most likely I'll be on the trainer. Oh well, it's got to be done.

Happy Easter!

Running on "Tired" Legs

There are those who swear by the weekly training schedule for Ironman where you ride long on Saturday and run long on Sunday. The belief is that this mimics how your legs will feel running in the Ironman by running long the day after a long ride.

Thankfully, my coach (and another of my coach's before him) disagrees with this. Collectively, we believe that separating your long run from your longest ride by at least 48 hours allows you to put in a more quality long run. And I will now add this: BESIDES, DUMBASSES (sorry, but the closer I get to an Ironman the more foul my language becomes), WHEN YOU ARE IN YOUR IRONMAN BUILD YOUR LEGS ARE FUCKING TIRED MOST OF THE TIME ANYWAY.

Let me illustrate my point by recounting the previous 4 days of my training:

Sunday: 2:30 hour trainer ride with 1.75 hours of intense riding followed by :30 run ending at better than tempo pace
Monday: 1 hour intense strength session (including the 'ol legs) followed by 1 hour swim (thus effectively trashing my arms). Everything was tired when I woke up this day, and I ended the day tired and fatigued.
Tuesday: 1:35 ride with :50 of intense riding followed by :30 run ending at 5K pace. I was tired when I began the workout and tired when I finished, but I still had a great workout.
Wednesday: 1 hour swim, and :55 tempo run, where the tempo portion was done uphill into a 20MPH headwind in +70 degrees, just for fun. I was extremely slow in the water during my swim warmup, but then I was able to pick it up nicely (and I even identified and know how to correct a stroke flaw in the process), and the tempo run was great, including being pulled over by a cop for "jay-running" (that's another story in itself, but I shall not tell it)

So guess what? My legs are FUCKING TIRED. But I did my long run (2:00) this morning, and, in typical style, it was a progression from easy to mod-hard (tempo), with :15 steady to finish it off. During the winter, I was doing my long run on Sunday, the day after a typically 2:30 trainer ride with :30-:40 brick run, and generally didn't have any problems doing it. But lookie here, now I get to do it the day after a tempo run which was preceded by a heavy-duty brick day. See my point? My legs are FUCKING TIRED, and they are going to stay that way for the next 6 weeks on and off, and then I get to taper. That's just how it is at this point in Ironman training. But, my legs are FUCKING STRONG, too, so they come around quickly during a workout. Besides, a little bit of fatigue is expected about this time. No worries, I am sleeping and stretching like a champ!

Now that being said, would I rather do this run on Sunday preceded by a 4-5 hour hard ride with :45 run off the bike the day before? Hell no. Those rides trash me for the rest of that day, and while I believe I'm strong enough to do a long run the next day, I'd rather not. Why? Because despite me starting the day out a little tired today, I still got in a quality run. Many folks who do their long runs "old style" can only manage LSD pace during those Sunday runs. Knock wood, I can still manage back-to-back tempo flavored runs and then I'll be plenty recovered for this weekend's festival of riding.

Tomorrow I only have to swim, so my legs will FINALLY get the break they need to be ready to hit it hard this weekend. And then my running cycle will begin again on Monday.

The cool thing about doing your long run during the week is twofold: 1) it allows you to ride long on 2 consecutive days (I don't know many folks who can manage a 3+ hour ride on a weekday) and 2) it gives such a sense of satisfaction and relief to know that you don't have to run long on the weekend.

The downside is that you need to get up pretty early to get the run in and make it to work. And then it can be a struggle to stay alert for the entire day, but hey, you have a built-in excuse, right? Seriously, while I do feel tired and sleepy throughout the rest of the day, somehow I manage to do what needs to get done, and then I can settle in for a good night's rest of like 10 hours.

I did my run on the treadmill again today, because with just a little road-running, my right back/hip complex is acting up, so I figured I'd give things a break and run on the treadmill. Besides, I didn't get up early enough to haul my ass to my favorite trail run--for that I need to be up before 5AM. I'm game for that after Ironman Brazil, but if I do my long runs on the treadmill for now, I won't be any worse for the wear.

Another day, another brick workout

Now that I'm getting close to IM Brazil, coach has programmed in 2 brick workouts per week--one on Tuesday after my hard, quality ride, and one on Saturday, after the longest of my 2 weekend rides. So my running schedule looks like this:

Monday: Short, easy ride with Strides
Tuesday: Brick after quality ride
Wednesday: Tempo
Thursday: Long, ending in Tempo
Friday: None or short with strides
Saturday: Brick after quality longest ride
Sunday: None

So we are still getting in 5 runs per week, and the only one that I would consider "easy" is on Monday!

Yesterday was an alleged rest day, but you all know those are sort of against my religion. I knew I would go ahead with my strength workout (to avoid having to do any the same day as a tough brick workout), and I just felt like I needed another swim. So yesterday I lifted (HARD, I don't do anything easy it seems), and within 1/2 hour I went to the pool. I did a "force" workout which consists of lots of pulling (1800 yards worth yesterday). My legs were tired from the strength workout and from the previous week, so I figured pulling would be fine, but man, my arms were like rocks during the workout, but I managed to get through it with decent swim times. After my workday ended, then I spent 2 hours vigorously raking my back lawn, which included cleaning out the biggest of my perennial beds. To say I was tired and sore after all this is an understatement! I slept 10 big ones last night in celebration of my "rest day."

I felt rather tired and sluggish this morning, even with all the sleep I got. I stretched for 45' this morning, because I needed to work out the kinks from the raking, and it just felt like a good way to start my day. Today I had to ride my road bike again, since I won't get the Bitch back until Friday. I thought I had the Power Tap figured out, but after my second FT interval, I cleared the damn thing instead of starting a new interval (for this reason alone I would NOT buy one of these again--the same button combo if held quickly starts a new interval, but any longer and it clears all the data!). Oh well, I just rode as hard as I could during the 2 FT intervals. The winds were gusting to about 38MPH, but the temps were nice (about 72). I can tell I got a decent workout in based on the calories I burned as recorded by my HRM (thank God I have THAT thing dialed in). I'll do my formal FT test next Tuesday on the Bitch with the good old SRM. I am so used to it, and it's so easy to use, unlike the crazy Power Tap.

I didn't think I'd be running too well today off the bike, since I did a fairly serious brick workout on Sunday. But then again, the week before, I did a LOT of serious brick work, didn't I? Still, I keep thinking I'm going to have a "bad" run, but it just hasn't happened since when I was sick. So I take off from my house. There's a 1/4 mile uphill right out my door. Not real steep, but you know you are going up. My stomach felt like the typical, "Can I PLEASE puke right now?" and my legs felt slow and, well, just WRONG. I don't pay attention to my HRM much anymore when I start my outdoor runs, especially a brick run. I just tried to run as best I could, and not give in to the typical thoughts of "Can we PLEASE stop this feels like complete and utter CRAP." But I remembered my mantra that EVERY WORKOUT COUNTS, so there was no sense letting the brick demons take control.

I hit Mile 1 and now I looked at my watch. I was expecting maybe 9:30, since I was supposed to go out "easy." Nope. 8:37. WTF??? (Note to Brett: I bet we were running faster than we thought in SC, he he.) I mean I can't tell you how "not good" I felt and I guess it just doesn't make a difference. So I keep going until I hit 15' where I can turn around, stop briefly to drink some Gatorade (which is probably all over my face at this point since I biked about 1:30), and then head back home. I negative split the turn around to the last mile, and then it was 1 mile to go. I didn't really try to push it that much, but lately, it just seems that the faster I go, the faster the crappy-ass feeling stops, so there is no point in prolonging the matter (note: this is NOT true in an Ironman race--the ultimate in brick workouts. These "short" brick workouts are nothing compared to a 1/2 or full Ironman run. However, I do think I will have the same attitude that if I slow down too much it will just make the crappiness last longer, so I will avoid slowing down as much as I can. I tell you, it can take YEARS to get to that point.). When I'm running that route and it's not a brick run, lots of times I just pick it up a little and manage anywhere from 7:50 to 8:05 on that last mile (which is sub-5K pace for me, see I AM slow!), so today I'd have been happy with 8:30 or more, I really didn't care. Oh well, 8:16 (on Sunday I did it in 7:57). So despite several big training weeks, more bricks than I care to remember, I'm not really losing much speed, am I?

It seems that my legs are on autopilot now whenever I run, and that I have become much better at just ignoring whatever else feels bad that day and getting to the business of running. Does that mean I've become a runner? This is my 9th year of running, so I suppose it's about time! I mean, I actually enjoy running now. I think a lot of it has to do with being very lightweight. I hate to tell those of you out there, even though I feel compelled, but any excess weight just makes running suck. Who wants their thighs rubbing, their tummies bouncing, or feeling the impact of excess weight every time your foot hits the ground? It feels much better to be floating, and to not feel so much gravity whenever I climb a hill. This great feeling now has me paranoid of putting on any weight, but it's not stopping me from eating like a horse. Just ask Shelley how much I can pack in. I swear I have been eating so much, and I think I'm down another pound. I truly believe that once you achieve leanness to the point of only carrying essential fat (which is about where I am), that as long as you are doing some exercise, your body just behaves like a furnace. In fact, I bought a bag of Cheetos at the grocery store. I still haven't begun devouring pasta (another thing that I know keeps me lean: I eat TONS of brown rice, but just don't often crave the pasta anymore--usually by this time in the year I am all over it), but I think I will need to eat some this weekend since I have big long rides. I suppose I should keep a food log to prove how many calories I'm eating (probably less than I think), but I have my hands full just doing my workouts, stretching, sleeping, grocery shopping, and trying to stay ahead of the bottles and laundry. And visit my mom at least once a week in the hospital.

Well, enough of all that. Bonus, I am browning up. I can't wait to see how I look with my 2006 physique and a nice suntan! If nothing else, I plan on looking great in Brazil, including, yes, I will be sporting a thong on the beach. I think I'm worthy.

Weekly Workout Totals 04/03/2006-04/09/2006

Weekly Totals 04/03/2006-04/09/2006
Swim: 11100 yards in 3.92 hours; 26% of weekly workout time; approx. 1371 calories burned
Bike: Approx. 70 miles in 4 hours; 26% of weekly workout time; approx. 1881 calories burned
Run: Approx. 37.91 miles in 5.89 hours; 38% of weekly workout time; approx. 3189 calories burned
Strength: 1.5 hours; 10% of weekly workout time; approx. 375 calories burned
All Sports: 15.31 hours; approx. 6816 calories burned
Sleep: 8.43 hours avg./night
Stretching: 2.27 hours

Season Totals 09/12/2005-04/09/2006
Swim: 248050 yards in 87.8 hours
Bike: Approx. 2243.86 miles in 129.24 hours
Run: Approx. 873.02 miles in 137.57 hours
Strength: 46 hours
All Sports: 400.61 hours; approx. 179006 calories burned
Stretching: 41.21 hours

Season Weekly Averages 09/12/2005-04/09/2006
Swim: 8268 yards in 2.93 hours
Bike: Approx. 74.8 miles in 4.31 hours
Run: Approx. 29.1 miles in 4.59 hours
Strength: 1.53 hours
All Sports: 13.35 hours
Sleep: 8.44 hours avg./night
Stretching: 2.06 hours avg./week

Goals from Last Week:

• Average 8+ hours of sleep per night. DONE.
• Stretch 15' per day. DONE.
• Recover, recover, recover! DONE.

Accomplishments This Week:

• Recovered strongly from training camp week. I had some lingering bike fatigue yesterday, but came around on the run.
• Two long runs!
• Another big running week. Stacked up against last week's 6 hours, I feel really good about my running. And all runs were strong. Yesterday, I ran at about my 5K pace off the bike.
• Got in a solid amount of strong swimming.

Goals for Next Week:

• Average 8+ hours of sleep per night.
• Stretch 15' per day.
• Stay on top of calorie needs.
• Get my head in the game. Every workout counts.

Double my Running Pleasure

This morning I got to do my second long run for the week. Since I've been working with my coach for a few years and he knows I can tolerate it, during my Ironman build we schedule what are known as "bike weeks," "run weeks," and "race rehearsal weeks."

A bike week is a week where the focus is on biking volume, and running takes a back seat, although there will still be a long run during the week. A typical bike week for me will include 10-12 hours of biking and 4-5 hours of running.

A run week is a week where the focus is on running volume, and biking takes a back seat. A run week will typically include 2 long runs of 1:40-2:00 in duration, but only 2 rides (1 quality/intervals, 1 quality/long).

A race rehearsal week (I've got one in 3 weeks) is where on Friday I do a full IM swim TT and a short run on Friday; on Saturday I ride 112 miles at race pacing (power, in my case) and run about :45 off the bike. Everything is as per race day as much as possible--nutrition, clothing, gear, etc. Sunday is a day off. So I'll probably bust out the disk wheel and look like a dork (but a very fit dork) riding west of home pounding out the miles.

Due to my state of hyperfitness (there, I said it. I believe I'm extremely fit right now) and sheer desire, last week turned out to be sort of bike and run focused. I'm happy with that--almost 12 hours of biking and slightly over 6 hours of running. That's a lot, I don't care who you are. But the running only included 1 long run. I guess last Saturday was sort of a second one as I ended up around 9 miles for the day, although it was split across 2 runs. I planned ahead with my coach for this week to be a run week, since I was able to fit one in on Monday.

Also as part of my scheduling for the week, coach left it to me to insert other runs depending on my recovery from last week. So yesterday I did a 1 hour tempo run, because I don't like going into a long run without running the day before for about 1/2 the time. Tomorrow I may do a 50' run with strides in there, and on Sunday I will probably run 30' off the bike. Adding in today's 1:45 run, that will give me 5.83 hours of running for the week. Not bad for back-to-back weeks of running volume! I already did a quality/interval ride this week, and Sunday is my second ride of the week. I hope to get outdoors on the road bike (the Griffen is in the shop and the SRM will be repaired and back on by next Friday) and pound out 3-4 hours of quality riding.

Back to today's long run. It was dribbling this morning, so I opted for the treadmill. I headed to the gym with my last cup of coffee (why waste good Kona coffee, I always say), 32 oz. of Voodoo Mix (1/2 Ultra Violence and 1/2 Gatorade), and a spare 12-oz. bottle of Gatorade in case I needed it. I went heavy on the caffeine because it's tough to put in a full work day after a long run first thing in the morning. I'll still want to lay down later (and I will) for about 30 min., but I need to be semi-alert for most of the day!

The plan for today's run was 25' Easy, 30' Steady, 15' Upper-Steady, 20' Mod-Hard (tempo) and 15' Steady, for a total of 1:45. Actually I had the option to split the Mod-Hard effort into 2x10' with 3' rest, but typically I just say fuck it and do a straight 20' continuously. I wasn't really sure if I could manage the increasing intensity, as my legs felt a little tired and sore from yesterday's tempo run on the heels of Wednesday's crazy bike workout (OK, it wasn't really crazy, but that effort level after what I did last week through Monday made it a little crazy). But I figured that accompanied by my friends Kona coffee and Voodoo mix, I should be able to knock most of it out. It helped that I stretched for 20' before I went to the gym.

During the 25' of Easy, I finished my Kona coffee. YUM!!! The only down side was that it being still hot, it made me kick off even more sweat, but hey, that's a price I'm willing to pay. The Easy stuff felt way easy, and my heart rate reflected it, although I had the HR display covered up on the treadmill. But I looked after I finished that section of the run.

The Steady effort felt better. I am at the point where when I run Easy, it is almost hard to do. I just don't feel right. But that's good, because when you are at that pace in an Ironman, it doesn't feel so easy, and so I do it just because a warmup is important, and also holding my effort back for certain sections of my runs so I don't become injured or overtrained.

At the end of the Steady section, I was sweating real good, and it was flying off me. A pilot I know came up to me and said he'd get me some more sweat towels. Thank God he did! I was getting soaked to the bone, and whenever I'd stop to drink, of course the sweat would just be rolling off of me. But I'm a girl, so I guess I was "glistening." Ha ha. I think I look pretty hardcore most of the time. I was only wearing my usual skimpy bra top and fairly skimpy shorts. I get so hot running, and I always say that when I don't look good in that kind of outfit anymore I will stop dressing that way.

Upper-Steady felt even better, and it made me sweat even more. A brave man mounted the treadmill next to me and I could tell he was curious as to my effort level (he got on just before I finished the first hour and had to reset the machine to keep going), especially with the amount I was sweating. I could tell as others walked by me that they were observing my copious sweat output. A few times I was convinced a few guys watched some drops run right down the center of my abs--hmmm....I wonder why they'd be looking???

Since I was feeling good, I knew I had the rest of the advertised workout in the bag, so I started the tempo interval. Everything went just great, and I was sweating even more, but at this point it really didn't matter, I was feeling good and smiling thinking about last week and the fact that this was my second long run of the week and it's Friday and I'm looking forward to a relatively easy training weekend (although I'm doing my income taxes tomorrow, yuk).

It was nice to go back to Steady level for the last 15' of the workout, and I could tell my legs needed a break. When I headed to the locker room, I could feel how wet my clothes were. When I took off my top, it weighed a ton and was gross, so I went to the sink to wring it out. I kid you not, like 8 oz. of sweat came out of it--maybe more! One of the women who works there commented on what I was doing, and she admonished me to drink a lot (duh). Luckily, on the way out of the gym, they had bagel pieces for some promotion thing, and I took one, although part of me wanted to eat the entire tray!

It's this sort of training that gives me a sense of accomplishment and reconfirms my enjoyment of the process of training. That is very important to me, since if the only focus is racing, it's easy to be disappointed.

I am going to sleep well tonight!

Bitchin' Swim Workout This Morning

Here's the workout. Luckily, I didn't read the whole thing before I started!

WU: 200 swim, 200 pull, 200 kick, 4 x 50 (10") Swim Golf
MS: 6 x 200. Descend 1-3 with 20" rest after each. 4-6 are negative split with 30" rest and faster than #3.
100 easy swim.
5 x 100 (10"), descend 1-5.
100 Easy
6 x 50 (10"), descend 1-3, 4-6
100 Easy
4 x 25 sprint with 30 secs rest
CD: 100 easy swim
Total: 3300 yards

The great thing was that as the workout progressed, I got faster each "set," even though I was tired this morning. Since I got home so late on Monday night, I went to sleep late, and I repeated the same pattern Tuesday night. Yesterday, though, I began my bike workout late in the day because I had to finish putting the bike together and messing around with the SRM (which may need to go in for repairs, CRAP!). Here's what that workout was (also quite bitchin'):

WU: 15' warmup, 3 x SpinUps. Then 3 x 2' (1') Zone 3
MS: FT repeats. 2 x 10' (4'), 1x15' (6')@FT watts, then 4' @ 105%, 5'@ 80-85%.
CD: 5' Easy spinning.
Total Time: 1:30

I managed 185 watts for that last 4' festival, and I was grinning from ear to ear when it was over. I finished my bike workout about 7PM, felt great afterwards, jabbered with my mom for about 1/2 hour, ate dinner, and then I got pretty tired and put myself to bed at 9:30PM. I had set the coffee pot for 5:30AM so that I can get myself adjusted to this time zone and the time change. When I heard the coffee pot kick off this morning, I was not really ready to wake up, but I have to get used to it again (we sort of slept in while in South Carolina), and there are going to be some very early wake-up calls on the weekends coming up where I'm doing 2 long rides back-to-back. Anyway, I am going to do a tempo run later in the day, and combined with the intensity of this morning's swim workout, I think I'll be plenty ready to go to sleep around 8:30, which is when I should be going to sleep. Sleep is critical to my recovery, and my training is going to kick up a few notches next week (oh yeah I guess last week was something, huh?), so I need to continue my good habits which means getting my ass in bed.

I had a disturbing dream last night, too. I was in some sort of chair, and was rotated over some boiling cauldron of lava--first where the heat would be mostly at my back until I couldn't stand it, then they (not sure who "they" were in the dream) would rotate me so the heat would be on my legs. I remember feeling the intense heat in the dream and thinking I wasn't going to make it through this or the floor would collapse and I would be flung into the lava. I managed to survive a few bouts of exposure to the heat, and then my mom entered the dream, and she was talking about all the treatments and needles and drugs that she's dealing with. In the dream, I instantly sensed that no amount of exposure to lava heat could be as bad as what she is dealing with. And then I woke up.

So this morning, even though I was tired and the swim workout was hard, I kept thinking that this is NOTHING compared to what my mom is going through. And I was able to keep pushing during the workout, and was able to complete the whole thing virtually descending the entire way.

So remember, when you are out there training and feeling sorry for yourself that what you are doing is hard, remember, like I often do, that this stuff is NOTHING compared to the REAL SUFFERING that some people must endure. And we do this stuff voluntarily! So to me, as long as it's by choice, then it's not suffering. EVER. When I'm working hard during a workout or race, it's just that--I'm working HARD. I am not suffering, as long as I am not injured or puking my guts out. I am not suffering just because I am tired. I am not suffering just because the weather is not to my liking. I am not suffering as long as I am executing my race plan and it appears to be working. I am not suffering just because I can feel the lactic acid building up in my arms or legs. I am not suffering just because I can feel my hip flexors screaming, "MAMA!" I am not suffering!

I read on another blog an opinion stating that no athletes ever think they are training enough for an Ironman race. Well, NOT ME! I am confident in my coach, in my training program, in my ability to execute the training program, and feel everything is at a level that suits me well. How that will translate on race day we shall see, but no matter how I do, I will not say that I didn't train enough or well enough. I'm doing it. Daily. I'm 100% committed. And now is when the rubber starts to meet the road. Stay tuned!

New Challenge Ride Added in Midwest

http://www.dairylanddare.com/

Of course, you KNOW I just HAVE TO DO THE 300K. Why? Because it will be fucking hard. The weekend before I plan on riding 11-12 hours on the IMWI course, which should prepare me well for the 300K, and 2 weeks after the 300K I'll be doing another 200K ride, but that one is mostly flat.

Talk about getting strong as an ox on the bike!

Anyone else up for the dare?

I sort of told my coach of these "plans." This is right in line with his (my adopted) philosophy of "pick cool shit to do and then structure training around it."

This is how I have fun. It's the Crackhead way.

Weekly Workout Totals: 3/27/2006-4/2/2006 and Great Training Week

Thanks to some great weather in South Carolina and great hosts, Regina and Forrest Fowler, I got in a solid 22 hour week last week, and I got through it feeling just fine.

Shelley and I headed down to Travelers Rest, SC, to stay and train with Regina and Forrest. Shelley knew them from a previous trip; I had met Forrest 2 years ago at Ironman Canada. The plan was to bike, bike, bike, do some running and some recovery swimming.

As you may recall, I have not been seriously outdoors on my bike since last October, so I looked forward to some serious riding time and seeing how my bike strength was. Unfortunately, I had some glitches with the SRM, so I didn't ride with power, but hey, I JFR'ed, and it was great.

I arrived in SC on Thursday afternoon. Shelley McKee also came in from Canada. For some reason, there was some confusion with our names and home areas. I was accused of being Canadian several times, but no matter! Around 4:30PM I got in a nice run with Forrest, and then we had a nice swim at Furman University, where Regina works as a nurse.

On Friday morning, Forrest and I took off for a run from his house. The weather was beautiful, and we ended the run with some striders in a pasture. Then a bunch of us went riding up into the mountains, heading to Saluda and back. I really do enjoy climbing, and it sure was interesting doing it not having ridden outdoors in months.

On Saturday morning, I figured I'd run before the bike, since we were waiting on Brett to arrive from Raleigh. I went out by myself and found a nice route that wasn't too scary (scary as in number of loose dogs, assorted vermin and rednecks). There are rollers right out Forrest's door, and it seemed my legs were beginning to get used to them. Also, it is interesting that I really haven't run outdoors much since the Goofy Challenge, but the hills didn't bother me too much. Once all the parties arrived (there was me, Shelley, Brett, Forrest, Regina, Christina, Lee, Rose, Susan), we took off and again rode to Saluda, but Forrest took me and Brett the "back" way up Saluda Grade. First we got to enjoy a nice, curvy downhill, but I knew that meant some serious climbing, which we did, and it was great. Hard-ish, but great. We met up with the rest of the gang in Saluda and did the remainder of the same ride we did on Friday. Afterwards, Brett was supposed to do a brick run, and he had convinced me while riding to go with him. I mean, how can I say no to someone I'm coaching and just met in person? So we ran the same route I did in the morning, and we nailed it in about the same time plus or minus 10 seconds, which was awesome! Brett rode really well (even Forrest, one of the strongest riders, commented on that), and he ran well with me, too. Brett's going to have a fantastic first 1/2 Ironman race in about a month. Me--I got in like 9 miles of running and 3:45 of riding in Saturday!

On Sunday, it was just girls riding--Shelley, me, Rose and Susan. Forrest had to go back to work in Florida, and Regina didn't need to ride again. The girls went after rollers rather than mountains, and we had a great day to ride in. Shelley got a flat on the road next to Table Rock, but we pressed on and got in about 4:40 of riding. There were several breakaways during the ride (that Shelley does like to hammer!). Of course, I ran off the bike (I was supposed to run before, but didn't have time because I wanted my sleep), and felt pretty good doing it, too, so I got in about :35. I got my bike apart and then we headed to the pool (the first photo is Shelley and me in our matching skeleton suits), and I got in 2,000 yards. So Sunday was a big day. A big group of us went to have sushi for dinner, and nobody could believe how much food I ordered for myself. Well, I ate it all (second photo above; plus I had miso soup, a bowl of seaweed salad, a bunch of edamame (soy beans) and 2 large beers), and my bill was $68.44. Just for me! And then we went to a coffee shop and had dessert. I had carrot cake. What the heck, I hadn't eaten lunch, so I knew I needed to pack it in.

Yesterday it was raining in the morning, and I needed to do a long run, so we went to Furman University again. I got in a 1:45 run on the treadmill. During the last :25, I was admonished by Dr. Scott Murr (someone the Fowler's know--he runs the FIRST run training program which I read about and it's great--look here) that there was a :30 limit, and I told him that I was watching to see if there were people waiting, and there weren't. For shits and grins, I mentioned I was from Chicago. You know--just to let him know that HE was not going to intimidate ME! After the run, I jumped in the pool for a quick 1500 pull, and then had lunch with Regina and Shelley, and off to the airport.

My plane was delayed about 2.5 hours, so I didn't get home until about 10:30PM last night. Oh well, I slept like a baby and tallied everything up for the week:

Swim: 8,400 yards in 2.9 hours (not as much as I wanted to do, but enough); 13% of weekly workout time
Bike: 11.87 hours (not sure of mileage, but it really doesn't matter especially with all the climbing); 54% of weekly workout time
Run: 6.02 hours (about 38 miles); 27% of weekly workout time
Strength: 1.23 hours (missed out on my second core workout, oh well); 6% of weekly workout time Total: 22.02 hours
Approx. Calories Burned by Exercise: 9,775
Average Sleep: 8.82 hours/night
Stretching: 2.4 hours

Goals from Last Week:

• Average 8+ hours of sleep per night. DONE.
• Stretch 15' per day. DONE.
• Monitor training stress to make it through the heavy week. DONE.

Accomplishments This Week:

• Hit highest weekly training hours so far this season.
• I ran 7 days in a row--from last Tuesday through yesterday, in the midst of all the biking. My running legs feel fairly strong at this point.
• Got my legs, butt, aero position and everything else used to some solid time on the bike.

Goals for Next Week:

• Average 8+ hours of sleep per night.
• Stretch 15' per day.
• Recover, recover, recover!
  
  

Today is a rest day, but I think I'm going to swim and lift weights, and I have a massage this evening.

HUGE thanks to Forrest and Regina for hosting me and what a great way for me to kick off the final build to Ironman Brazil!

Weekly Training Totals (3 weeks' worth): 3/6/2006-3/26/2006

It's been an interesting past 3 weeks. I got sick, I didn't start my only triathlon prior to Ironman Brazil, my mom was hospitalized and found to have cancer (she's doing much better now--walking and going potty on her own!), my job changed like 3 times (more of that to come, no doubt), I puked my guts out one night (no relation to the URI) and I almost swallowed a live spider.

Out of all those things you probably want to know about the spider. Well, last night, just before I was going to go to sleep, I went into the bathroom to have another glass of water. There was already water in the glass, and I like mine room temperature, so I put glass to mouth and was about to swallow the first swig when I felt something sort of hairy in my mouth. I spit the water out into the sink and saw Mr. Spider (still very much alive) struggling to escape the water. So sorry--I don't normally kill every house spider--only the dark colored ones that I assume are likely to bite me--but this guy, a pale house spider, hey, he had to go down the drain. I laughed that I had almost swallowed him whole and wriggling. Truthfully, it wouldn't have bothered me. I didn't jump in alarm or anything. I rinsed out the glass and refilled it with water and had a nice pull on it, of course, after I checked it once more for spiders!

I guess you could say the stress was piling on me the last 3 weeks. I know it has because my stomach has been acting up. Either that or my body is telling me it wants to be at a lighter weight. If I recall correctly, every time I've managed to bust through another bodyfat percentage plateau, it was announced by my body rejecting food, which is one sure-fire way to get me to eat less! So we shall see. The other thing that enters into the picture is that I changed my long run day from Sunday to Thursday this week, which must have messed me up a bit, and also this was my highest volume training week so far. With everything else going on, it's tough to isolate one single thing at work here; it's probably cumulative. Then there was the simultaneous joy and fear in looking at my training schedule for the next 5 weeks. I have to tell you, it's awe-inspiring, even to me. I have NEVER trained as hard as I am now starting to. Of course, I have never trained as hard as I have for the past 4 months, so I guess this is just a continuum. In summary, I wouldn't wish my last 3 weeks on anyone!

And I'm not sure I would wish my next 5 weeks on someone unless they are really and truly committed to the whole training gig--workouts, nutrition, sleep, stretching, strength training, stress reduction (I'm working on that one, you know), time management. I am sure my blogging will decrease as I will be just too fucking tired to sit here and write. Actually, I'm pretty fucking tired right now. I need to go pack my bike in preparation for next week's training camp.

So, herewith are my last 3 weeks. Read it and weep!

3/20/2006-3/26/2006
Swim: 9,550 yards in 3.43 hours; 21% of weekly workout time
Bike: 6.5 hours; approx. 114 miles; 40% of weekly workout time
Run: 4.68 hours; approx. 30 miles; 29% of weekly workout time
Strength: 1.58 hours; 10% of weekly workout time
Total Hours: 16.19 (MOST SO FAR THIS TRAINING SEASON)
Approx. Calories Burned by Exercise: 7,415
Average Sleep: 9.14 hours/night
Stretching: 3.38 hours (MOST EVER)

Goals from Last Week:

• Average 8+ hours of sleep per night. DONE.
• Stretch 15' per day. DONE.
• Continue to recover from illness and return to full-strength training. DONE.
  

Accomplishments This Week:

• Met goals.
• Hit highest weekly training hours so far this season.
• Hit highest weekly stretching hours so far this season. I think I’m synching up my stretching with my volume/intensity automatically now. This is a good thing!
  

Goals for Next Week:

• Average 8+ hours of sleep per night.
• Stretch 15' per day.
• Continue mental work to reduce stress.
• Use common sense during the training camp to monitor fatigue, etc. Although we have a schedule, I’m flexible. The goal is to get in some solid biking; everything else will be gravy.
  

3/13/2006-3/19/2006
Swim: 4,400 yards in 1.52 hours; 13% of weekly workout time
Bike: 3.75 hours; approx. 66 miles; 33% of weekly workout time
Run: 4.58 hours; approx. 29 miles; 41% of weekly workout time
Strength: 1.45 hours; 13% of weekly workout time
Total Hours: 11.3
Approx. Calories Burned by Exercise: 5,524
Average Sleep: 9.39 hours/night
Stretching: 2.05 hours

Goals from Last Week:

• Average 8+ hours of sleep per night. DONE
• Stretch 15' per day. DONE
• Recover from illness and assess ability to race Ralph’s. More or less DONE. Mostly recovered from illness--nagging cough hung around, and decided on Monday to not race Ralph’s, as I wasn’t feeling like I’d be recovered enough by the weekend.
  

Accomplishments This Week:

• Met goals.
• Listened to my body and continued resting Monday and Tuesday.
  

Goals for Next Week:

• Average 8+ hours of sleep per night.
• Stretch 15' per day.
• Continue to recover from illness and return to full-strength training.
  

3/6/2006-3/12/2006
Swim: 8,650 yards in 3.15 hours; 34% of weekly workout time
Bike: 1.42 hours; approx. 25 miles; 15% of weekly workout time
Run: 3.03 hours; approx. 20 miles; 34% of weekly workout time
Strength: 1.6 hours; 17% of weekly workout time
Total Hours: 9.2
Approx. Calories Burned by Exercise: 3,936
Average Sleep: 9.0 hours/night
Stretching: 2.35 hours

Goals from Last Week:

• Average 8+ hours of sleep per night. DONE
• Stretch 15' per day. DONE
• Hang tough. Well, I tried to, but despite my best efforts, I got sick on Friday, 3/10, and was unable to work out Saturday and Sunday.
  

Accomplishments This Week:

• Met 2 out of 3 goals.
• Listened to my body and rested.
  

Goals for Next Week:

• Average 8+ hours of sleep per night.
• Stretch 15' per day.
• Recover from illness and assess ability to race Ralph’s.

Today is a Great Day: GAME ON

It is always great when good things happen, isn't it? As much as life can suck sometimes, there are always beautiful people that do wonderful things that make every day worth it.

The photo is care of Brett, who I clued in on a Dean Karnazes talk near where he works. I asked Brett to get anything signed by him for me, and look what he did! It's Brett's copy of Dean's book, so I guess I owe Brett my copy. It made me cry when I saw this picture just a few minutes ago. Brett is good people in my book, and I am fortunate to have made his acquaintance.

You can like Dean or think he's nuts. I can relate to the man. He is doing something he loves "just because." OK, so maybe he's making a little money off of it by writing books now, but hey, being part of society sort of requires you make some cash, and if you can do it in the course of pursuing a passion, even better. If his body can tolerate that much running, great for him. If mine could, I would do it, but I know it can't, so I will stick with triathlon for now. I love reading books written by ultrarunners because I can relate to the many of them who have found that special solace that they reach when running. I am happy that I can experience that solace while swimming and biking, too, and while I'm stretching, and even while I am writing this right now.

I did a 3,600 yard swim workout this morning. My 300 times were off, but the 100's, 50's and 25's were pretty good. Check out this workout:
WU: 200 swim, 200 pull, 200 kick, 4 x 50 (10") Swim Golf
MS: 5 x 300 (20") negative split. 100 easy swim.
5 x 100 (10"), descend 1-5. 100 Easy.
6 x 50 (10"), descend 1-3, 4-6. 100 Easy.
4 x 25 sprint with 30 secs rest
CD: 100 easy swim

My lungs were acting up a little bit--some phlegm coming up when I didn't want it--and my stomach was still not normal. Last night I woke up at 10:30 (I had gone to sleep at 8:15--guess I was a little tired from my 2nd long run in 4 days) and my stomach was hurting. I guess chile for dinner was not such a good idea after having had a big bowl of pasta with marinara sauce at lunch (to recover from my run), although I finished it around 7:00PM, so it was odd that I was having a reaction. When I experience stomach issues, it usually means I'm under stress. HELLOOOOOO.... Anyway, I got out of bed and took a swig of Pepto Bismol, thinking that would calm things down. I got back in bed and my stomach began doing flip-flops. I tried to ignore it, but after laying there for about 10 minutes, I figured I was going to puke, so I got up, and well, I did. I guess the Pepto accomplished something, huh? Turns out there wasn't much in my stomach, but whatever was there came out in spectacular projectile fashion. Shit happens! I drank a big glass of water and was able to get back to sleep. When I smelled the coffee this morning, I got out of bed to pee and think about getting up, but it felt like someone had twisted up my brain and stomach and was in there with a vise grip on me. So I went back to bed, put a pillow over my head (to block out the rising sun), and tried to sleep some more. I think I dozed off for maybe 10', but then I figured, hey let's get up.

Coffee tasted good and didn't seem to have any additional effect on my stomach, but I took it easy on eating anything. I had planned on swimming, and checked my email and saw my coach had posted me up some workouts. So I go look for today's stuff, and happy, happy, 3,600 yards, let's go, baby! Since I got out of bed late, I wouldn't be able to stretch first since I'd need to be in the pool as quickly as possible so I could get the workout in before they shut down the lap lanes for the Aquacise class. I briefly considered swimming at lunchtime, since Rich didn't schedule a run for me today (but I may still do one later if I feel like it), but figured it would be less crowded this morning, and hey, I'm awake, so I may as well get it done.

Back to that swim workout. Despite my stomach and phlegm issues, I had absolutely no endurance issues, and why would I? 2 mile swims just don't really phase me anymore. I like knowing that the Ironman swim is only 600 more yards than what I swam today, so my endurance is all set. I guess a few years of averaging 9,000-11,000 yards a week will do that to a person :). As I was swimming the pitiful 300's, I was trying to figure out why I was so slow. The water was nice and cool today. My last workout was 24 hours ago. But I guess my legs were still a bit tired, and kicking takes a lot of oxygen and my lungs felt slightly compromised, so oh well. I did the last 2 300's with the pull buoy and that confirmed my tired legs hypothesis. Whatever. Mostly I am happy that the workout didn't feel like some killer thing to me. Well, I DID swim 3,300 on Monday, so what's 300 more yards anyway?

You know you are close to an Ironman race when:
- your Friday swim workout is >3,500 yards. Hell, I even see one on my schedule that isn't a race rehearsal swim of 4,400 yards. Woo-hoo!
- there is a note on a long bike workout that says "OK to shorten this if you like."
- you become concerned that you aren't keeping up with your calorie intake needs
- you cry when someone emails you a picture of a book (thanks, Brett)
- you cry when someone mails you a picture of Natasha Badmann (thanks, Shelley)
- you pretty much will cry about anything. OK, so all this crying is a girl thing, guys. What do men do this close to an Ironman? I am curious.
- you decide it's time to stop raising your hand at work for "extra projects."
- you learn to keep your mouth shut when someone punches your buttons because you know you could go off like a firecracker
- you know that the remaining training is going to start to feel like work, but that's as it should be. Riding very focused for 4+ hours at a time is work. Swimming 3,500 yards+ is work. Running for 2+ hours is work. Keeping up with all your bottles and laundry is work.

It's that time, kids. Time to get down to Ironman training. What I've been doing so far has been "getting ready to do this training I am starting now." Here come double long rides on the weekends, plenty of running and swimming. I am so excited about this build phase, because this is the most fit I have ever been in my life. Now I just need to keep up the good work I've been doing in addition to the workouts--stretching, mental work, nutrition, sleep, avoiding any stress that I can. I am reminded of the beginning of the song, The Sound of Silence, when I get to this point:

Hello darkness, my old friend,

I’ve come to talk with you again,

Because a vision softly creeping,

Left its seeds while I was sleeping,

And the vision that was planted in my brain

Still remains

Within the sound of silence.

After I finished swimming this morning, I saw a fit-looking woman getting ready for what I guessed was a spin class. So I struck up a conversation with her (I am naked at this point--as you all know I have no shame). I asked if she was heading to spin class, and she said yeah, that she had reserved her bike because the classes are so popular. I replied that I did my bike training on my own bike at home. She asked if I am a triathlete, commenting that she immediately figured I was at least a runner, probably a triathlete. I said yeah. She asked me what was my racing distance. I said Ironman. She said it figured from how lean and muscular I am. Then she said she bet it was hard for me to keep up with my calorie needs. I told her she is very wise! Turns out she has a Masters degree in exercise physiology. So we had a nice conversation. How nice to meet someone like that--I really hope I run into her again. Looks like a possibility now that I'll be doing 1:15-1:30 swim workouts on Fridays!

It snowed here last night, and won't be warm enough for me to get outside on my bike this weekend. But it's GAME ON now, and I've got work to do.

Updates, Musings, Training, you know the drill

My mom has multiple myeloma--the biggest problem is a tennis-ball sized tumor near her sacrum. She gets 9 days of radiation treatments, and the hope is that they will destroy this incarnation of the cancer and enable her to walk again. Then she moves to an assisted care facility for a few weeks. Then--who knows??? It's going to be one day at a time. The 5-year survival rate for this type of cancer is listed at 32%. My mom has been in bad shape for about 5 years, and this doesn't help any. But, it is what it is. My dad is doing the best he can to care for her. His best is not what I would consider THE best, but I believe it is not my place to meddle. I haven't understood my parents' relationship for the past 40 years, why would I understand it now?

It's funny how when these things happen you realize so fully that each of us ultimately goes through this thing called life alone--we can't be anything more than who we are to another human being. That makes life both beautiful and frustrating. It is beautiful when a person learns to be who they are unconditionally, and separates themselves from what they do, what they have, their physical body, their thoughts, etc. It's frustrating when either we aren't fully ourselves or when we are, when we interact with others who aren't. In some ways, the more I become who I am and less attached to other people, things, my body (we'll get to that later), my thoughts, the more I find it difficult, or maybe it's just fascinating, to deal with those are are much less so. I think that is the root of most failed relationships--people are at different levels of self-awareness. At least that is how I am currently experiencing things. I know it sounds very egotistical and conceited, but that is how it feels to me. The more I become aware of my own self, the more I want to take some people by the shoulders and shake them and tell them to wake the fuck up! But that is not the way to make it happen.

Now back to this physical body thing. I find myself somewhat conflicted in this quest for enlightenment, which includes (in some circles anyway) a move away from focus on the physical body. Yet when I look at myself, and I KNOW others look at me this way, it appears I am ALL ABOUT THE PHYSICAL. I guess I consider the care and use of my body to be the way in which I honor my own sacredness, if that makes sense. It brings out a passion in me that has guided me to this personal search for this Mind of Iron. My younger sister said she figured I would fall apart if I couldn't exercise. I listened to her say it, and wanted to lash out at her and say, "Well, what is YOUR excuse?" But I didn't. I just heard it and said that, yes, I would be saddened if I were unable to do ANYTHING, but that I planned to continue doing so until that eventuality. I hope it's because of death! I dunno--we are given this one vessel in which to house our brains, our spirits, our energy, and I just think it's a good thing to honor it. I've read about the running monks and such, and so I know there is precedent for being very physical yet very spiritual. And that is where I find myself right now.

I have to be honest, I am experiencing extra stress over my mother. Some of it is reconciling the unshakable reality that she is going to pass, and it could be soon. Some of it is me feeling selfishly how is this going to affect me? I have already been handed some guilt on a platter for proceeding with my travel and racing plans. Well until something happens that says I should not, I will keep going.

And that takes me back to my training. I hit things hard last week after feeling mostly recovered from my URI/cough thing. I still have the cough, but it is fading. I'm sure I sound horrible when I start choking while on the treadmill or hanging onto the pool wall, but too bad. I don't feel any shortness of breath or tightness in my lungs, and I sleep well and deeply.

This week I moved my long run to Thursday, i.e., TODAY. On Sunday I ran for 1:35, and I ran for 1:45 today. I forgot how tired that can make my legs. My legs really don't feel all that bad, mostly because I wisely cut my run short yesterday. But running 1:45 and then trying to stay awake at work is just not something I am good at.

I woke up about 5:20, had some coffee and a Power Bar, and managed to stretch for 13' before getting to the gym and ass on treadmill at 6:43. The first 30' of the run did not feel good--my stomach wasn't too happy to have to try and digest, but it will get used to it. I just can't do a workout on a totally empty stomach. While I was feeling this way, I used it as an opportunity to consider how "bad" did I really feel? My legs felt fine, my heart rate was fine. If I feel that "good" at Ironman Brazil on the run I will be just fine! After 30' easy, I started picking up the pace. My right piriformis is acting up a little bit (I think from my 6-day festival of running last Wednesday through this Monday and some intense bike workouts and a little extra stress), and I had a 1.5 hour massage Tuesday night and Wednesday it didn't feel bad when I ran--I was just tired, which was why I cut the run short yesterday. When I stretched this morning, I really focused on my iliopsoas, which is usually the culprit when my piriformis is acting up. I HATE that muscle! I now call it the sloppy muscle--look at an anatomy book to know what I mean. The thing is like this sloppy ropy thing that drapes down your back across your hip down to your groin, and I have no clue what is holding it in place aside from the origin and insertion points. It is the source of many people's back troubles, my own included.

Anyway, I didn't notice anything bad while I was running this morning, and after 1 hour I started drinking my Voodoo mix (1/2 Ultra Violence, 1/2 Gatorade), and that perked me up as expected, and my stomach felt fine, and I even enjoyed the remaining 45' of the run. I got in 20' at upper-steady and 15' at mod-hard, which was fine considering I just smashed a whole lot of training into not so many days (uh--coach knows about this sort of--I keep telling him to tell me what to do before I blow myself up!).

I stretched some more after the run and even got in 36' of abs/core work (in a semi-comatose state, I must say). So now I can head into the weekend with a nice 1 hour swim and 1 hour run tomorrow, and then oh joy, oh joy, TWO LONG RIDES THIS WEEKEND (one including a short brick run afterwards). I am waiting for guidance from my coach on the riding, but I will probably do (2) 2:30 trainer rides with lots of intensity, to get ready for Training Camp next week.

Yee-haw! I can't WAIT to get to South Carolina and meet up with Shelley again. It's been 5 years, both of us have gained tons of Ironman experience, it should be warm, and Brett may even come down to ride with us (of course, if he does, the Prime Directive will be to absolutely SHELL him). There will be plenty of Ultra Violence, beer, Cheetos, pasta and red meat consumed (when I get into the heavy training, I tend to crave big hunks of steak).

Shelley sent me a drawing of my idol, Natasha Badmann. She is lovingly hung on my bathroom mirror over my time goal sheet for Ironman Brazil. So every time I go in there I look at Natasha; then I look at my time goals, and I ask myself, "Am I doing everything I can today towards those goals?" So far has been so good. I don't think I could possibly do more. But now the push is on. I expect to be fatigued often. No problem. I have trained myself to go to sleep by 8:30PM now. So even as the sun comes up earlier and I will naturally wake up at 5AM, I can still get 8.5 hours a night, more on some days of the week. This is the part of the training cycle that I love. Literally all I am doing is eating to train, training, recovering and then that nasty little bit called work. I will do nothing that isn't necessary. Friends understand that I go underground until June. Exciting stuff! Bring it!

I WILL survive all of this.

Fashion Update

OK, so first off sometimes I call giving someone the general big picture, including any bits of gossip, a "fashion update" because it just sounds so much nicer than plain "news."

My mom is in a holding pattern. It's unclear now whether she definitely has cancer or not, but whatever it is, it's bad, and she needs copious amounts of pain medicine. In fact, yesterday, they had her so drugged up she didn't awaken, but that has been fixed today. She's once again alert and eating on her own. We thought the oncologist would have all the information assembled today; now that may or may not happen. I just want to know what the story is, you know? Until then, I am just taking things one day at a time.

In other news, I still have this damn cough. It's not bad, but it is annoying. But it is no longer preventing me from training. I pretty much hit it hard beginning last Thursday, and somehow managed to pull off 11.3 hours of training including almost 3 days of absolutely nothing. I shouldn't have run as much as I did in 5 days, but I did cut back my intensity somewhat. I was able to hit 98% of my FT watts for (2) 10' intervals on Saturday, so that was encouraging. I am going to go full-strength this week on training, and hope to bang out 15-16 hours. One day at a time.

Something that is very interesting about this time with my mom's health concerns is seeing my brothers and sisters assembled and it is just very painful for me to see how little regard for their own health they have. Youngest sister is probably 25 lbs. overweight and doesn't exercise enough. Thank goodness she gets an annual checkup, but at her rate she's headed for the typical lifestyle issues. And bonus she's very depressed. I help her whenever I can a little at a time. I gave her what she considered a "professional" quality upper back massage the last 2 days--I told her I picked up a lot from being a massage school guinea pig and being very observant during my own massages.

My older sister is probably 40 lbs. overweight, has knee problems (gee, I wonder why), yet she thinks she is in good health since she checks her blood sugar twice a week! Well, yes, at some point it will be out of whack from the excess weight and lack of exercise. She doesn't work, her husband makes tons of money, they own a spacious and beautiful home--I just don't get it. Her husband, on the other hand, is very paranoid about his own health after seeing his parents degenerate, and he is aware of genetic odds that he must face. He is quite thin and I believe he gets some degree of exercise.

The younger of my 2 brothers is maybe 20-25 lbs. overweight, has asthma, back problems, weakened lungs from pneumonia, but he maintains the best he can. He golfs a lot and tells me he does his back exercises, but still I think he could do better. Mike does take very good care of his family, though. His wife is obese, and they have a son who is autistic/bipolar that is also obese, which pisses me off since his mother didn't need to let him get that way, which just complicates any attempts for him to become integrated into society.

My remaining brother is 20-25 lbs. overweight, depressed, occasionally has a drinking problem, and I believe his blood pressure is high yet he won't seek treatment. He has a loving wife who is a nurse that I consider to be a saint!

Then there's me. My sisters agreed that my biggest problem (jokingly) is that I exercise too much. Thank you. I will take that problem any day. I suffer from occasional mild depression (don't we all), and hell yeah, I would enjoy the company of a male companion, but overall my life and health are quite good, despite a lack of cartilage in one knee and age-related disk degeneration in my back which for all I know is now gone. I don't have a spouse to lean on when I feel like slacking or getting all down on myself, and I certainly don't want the rest of my family to be concerned about my own health. Who knows what will eventually strike me down--but for the moment I intend to keep up what I'm doing and trying to be that good example to my siblings. If only one good thing rubs off on them, great!

The funny thing about all this is that my dad is in quite good health for his age. He tells me whenever he can about his workouts at the Y (I think he goes 4 times a week), especially on the stationary bike. And he lifts weights. And he's lost weight in the last year (all fat, from what I can tell), and he feels great, even though he's got 2 artificial knees. One of the things that seems to console him in this difficult time is talking with me about what he's up to at the gym. I didn't need to encourage him to keep going even as all this illness is circling around us. He knows that by being healthy that he has an edge on his mental health, and he knows from our conversations that I feel strongly the same way. Sure we will cry on one another's shoulders from time to time, but whatever happens, at the end of the day all we have is our health, and I am happy that my dad is making the effort to take care of his own.

My mom will be whatever will be. It's probably too late for her to have an impact on the rest of her life. It almost hurts me more to see my brothers and sisters doing so little for their own lives than perhaps the imminent end of our mom's.

I am being extra careful now with my own eating, since I am finding it hard to work up an appetite periodically. If I can't be strong for myself, how can I be strong for everyone else?

Every day, many times a day I get to make choices. I continue to choose health!

I'm on the Mend

After 5 days of almost no workouts (I did slip in strength training; after all it's mainly anaerobic, so I didn't need my lungs to do it!), and coughing up NOTHING at all, I began feeling much better yesterday, so I attempted a run. Goal was 1 hour, but I made it 30' and felt dizzy.

Well this morning I found the dizziness culprit--the lovely inhaler I was using to help me over the hump of this cough thing. One of the signs to me that I am coming around is that drugs do weird things to me. So while the inhaler was good for a few days, I'm done with it. Even though I didn't go to California to race, I decided it would be good to take the 2 days off from work that I had planned, to have more time to visit with my mom and also to just not have to focus on work nonsense while trying to get better.

Today I managed a 1 hour run and a 1:15 ride. Now, I'm sure that sounds like a lot for someone coming off a URI, but I know many athletes who wouldn't have rested as much as I just did feeling even worse! Coming back from something like this is where I actually pay attention to my HR (generally I don't). Since I effectively had a taper, my main concern was to not jack up my HR too much, with the knowledge that things are still in a weakened state. Heck, today was the first time my chest muscles (intercostals and pecs) didn't hurt from all the coughing. But I knew my leg muscles should still be in fine shape.

I capped my run RPE in the steady to upper-steady area. I didn't try and run tempo or anything. But I did throw in 10' of strides, which let me run fast for 30" at a time, and it didn't hurt or anything. Actually, running felt quite good. No dizziness, and I hardly coughed at all.

I had about 45' after running before I got on my bike. I knew that trying to do any FT intervals today would be ridiculous, as I generally get my HR way up there to produce those watts--"way up there" meaning higher than I hit at my running tempo pace (word to the wise out there--I can push REALLY REALLY HARD on the bike). But I thought that I would be able to hit HIM watts, which for me are around 88-93% of FT watts. I figured a workout like this would ease me back into the FT stuff either Saturday or next week. I decided to do an extended warmup, just to feel out my legs and lungs and watts to see what I might be able to do today. I did a 30' warmup, then 3' spinups and 9' of the Z3 stuff from my usual warmup. And then I thought I'd do either 3x10' or 2x15' at HIM watts with 2' rest in between, and then cool down. I got to 10' and didn't feel like I needed to stop, so I went to 15', and that was OK, too, 20' fine, and then I figured I might as well go 30' straight, which I did. It felt challenging, but not particularly hard (again, because I've effectively had a taper), but at the end of the day, my HR was up where it usually is when I'm producing FT watts, but my RPE was lower than my HR indicated. So I think I made a very wise decision to hold my watts back. It will be fun to hit those FT watts again at the same HR I was seeing today. I know from coming back after Goofy Challenge that my watts recovered and IMPROVED rather nicely within 2 weeks. So I think I'll be full-strength again next week.

Now some of you may think, "wow she probably still could have gone and raced this weekend." NOPE! I am not 100%, and a couple of airplan trips plus a full HIM effort this weekend would not be a good idea. I will be monitoring my recovery very closely the next few days, and even though I may still get in a decent week of training, the body was telling me to rest, and there is no way I will hit the hours I was at 2 weeks ago this week, and taking the race off the table will enable me to march right into a solid week next week, which in the end, will be a great setup for the training camp to follow the next week.

I can't believe it, but I'll be doing an Ironman in TEN WEEKS!!! I could be freaking out of my head right now, but I'm not. Do you know why? Because of my MIND OF IRON. It is what enables me to make good decisions about what is best for me right now, what is most important, remember to stay in each and every moment, even the uncomfortable ones that I've had in the past few days. Every time life throws me a curve ball nowadays, as it's coming at my face I recognize that there will be lessons for me to learn from it and strength to be gained after it passes.

I knew when I got sick last week that it might mean not racing, but I just accepted it and instead adopted a perspective that the rest will probably do me good. Lord knows I've been pushing the envelope. But then when I learned about my mom's condition, as much as that saddened me, I felt good knowing I would be here through the worst of it. And in talking to my younger sister, I am finding that I must have acquired some sort of wisdom about finding one's way out of depression and appear to be able to help her start to see herself for the beautiful person that she is, independent of what she has or does. If I can help just one person find inner peace that helps them find their path in life, that is enough justification to me for my own existence. I consider myself far from enlightened; yet I believe I am further along than most and I see myself now able to help others. I hope that doesn't sound conceited of me; well, truthfully I don't care what anyone thinks of me anymore. We are all here to help one another; the trick is being of the right mind, in the right place at the right time with the right tools to provide that help, and to jump when opportunity presents itself and the other person is receptive. It is always true that you can't help someone that doesn't want to be helped.

Enough of that. It sure felt good to get in some solid working out today, and also to be NOT WORKING. It just goes to show you that I really do love training. Racing is nice and fun, and I'll get that in, too, but training is where it's at in my life. Oh--and I've got some eating to do. I dropped about 1.5 lbs. from the evil no-phlegm-at-all cough. I lose my appetite when I'm sick AND not training. Chicken soup and crackers, while tasty and comforting, just don't pack much of a caloric punch, even with all the butter I was putting on the crackers! That 1.5 lbs. was probably just my muscles letting go of glycogen and the accompanying water anyway (1 g glycogen is held in muscle by 4 g water, didya know?), so as I pick up training again, my muscles will suck up glycogen and water, and the weight will be back in a flash. I'll know I'm really 100% when I crave a big, juicy steak.

Namaste!

Not racing this weekend and RANT

Unfortunately, I will not be competing this weekend. I still have a deep chest cough that begs me to keep resting.

I had this feeling Monday and Tuesday that there was something else going on in the universe that wasn't quite right. I wasn't feeling sorry for myself for being sick. But I knew something else was wrong. I thought about it--was I sad that I wouldn't be racing? No. Was I upset that I was losing some money on this trip? No. Yet I sensed this sadness.

I called my parents several times yesterday, and nobody was home. This is odd. I figured they must have been visiting doctors, as my mom is in fragile health. At about 7:45PM my phone rang, and I actually hoped it was my dad, as I had wanted to talk to him just the other day, but my voice was too trashed from all the coughing. He told me my mom is in the hospital. He had been out for an hour or so and returned home to her sitting on the floor unable to use her legs to get up. She's been experiencing all sorts of neurological problems related to being diabetic (adult onset), so this wasn't too surprising. Turns out she's had another mini-stroke. So far, they don't know what the cause of the loss of her ability to use her legs is. But what upsets me is how the paramedics treated her. My dad says they said to her, "Well, you're just old." What the fuck is that? Getting old doesn't imply the loss of the use of your legs.

I can tell my dad is upset. I'm pretty upset, too, especially since today I am still too sick to go visit mom in the hospital. But I will go tomorrow, even if it means I am wearing a face mask. So far they haven't figured what's going on with her. In my heart, I've known it was just a matter of time before she becomes wheelchair-bound.

To any of you out there who are 10 or more pounds overweight, consider yourselves warned. Excess weight, particularly belly fat, has been shown to be a marker for adult-onset diabetes. While the symptoms of the disease itself can be treated with medicine, you can guarantee there is already damage done to your cardiovascular system by the time it is diagnosed, and the damage continues as long as you have the disease, even with treatment. And it's ugly. Whatever excuses you may have for not losing weight, well I'm not buying them. Get off your fat ass, stop stuffing your face and take care of yourself. Oh, so you have problems? Try not being able to walk. Try having to be on 15 different medications because you couldn't be bothered to eat right and exercise in your youth. Oh, so you're a triathlete now, huh? Well the fitness you get from exercising is not erasing the problems you are causing yourself by being overweight. Anyone who has the economic means to belong to health clubs and pay to race has no excuses for not eating healthfully and maintaining a healthy weight.

I mourn the loss of my youthful, happy mom, who when she was first diagnosed with Type II diabetes that could have been controlled with weight loss and dietary changes, couldn't find it within her to make simple changes to prevent the full bloom of this disease. I know we all die of something, but it is really hard for me to watch the progressive degeneration of a person. My mom will never see me race; but I hope she remembers how much I loved riding my bike to the pool as a kid. Every summer morning I would jokingly ask her, "Mom, when does the pool open?" Every summer morning she would give me the same answer, "1:00. You can leave right after lunch." I think I will remind her of that tomorrow.

I swim, bike and run BECAUSE I CAN. And I hope I can keep doing it for a long, long time.

Maintaining Your Body

My second article for trifuel.com is here: http://www.trifuel.com/triathlon/endurance-files/maintaining-your-machine-001272.php

I hope you can find something in it that you can use to enhance your training!

On a health note, I am quite ill with a virus that I've had since last Friday. It is mostly a dry cough, and I have been resting and resting, and I think I've gone through 2 cans of chicken soup a day! I'm feeling marginally better today, but am not sure whether I will be going to California on Thursday or not. Since Ralph's is not an A race for me, there is no reason for me to subject my body to more airplane travel and a race when my business right now is getting healthy again. I am no Lisa Bentley or Chris Legh, who keep going even in the face of obvious health problems. To me that is not a heroic effort--it's pure stupidity.

I want to live (healthily) to race another day, and so until further notice, I'm not training! I know that I will be stronger for the enforced rest, and that I am doing the right thing for myself right now.

Sick Bike Workout, Workout Levels and Good Stuff

This is the sick bike workout that I did yesterday:
WU: 10' warmup, 3 x SpinUps. Then 3 x 2' (1') Zone 3
MS: FT repeats: 2 x 20' (8' @ 65-70%) @ 95-100%, 2' CD, 1 x 8' @ 105%.
CD: 5' Easy

It was what I call "challenging." I have an internal scale that describes how I think about my workouts. The scale goes like this:

• Wimp: The workout is so easy, I'm not sure I'm working out. Example: Ride easy 2 hours.
• Easy: I feel like I'm working out, but there is no stress. Example: Run easy Z1-Z2 60'.
• Challenging: The workout has some aspects that force me to focus for various periods of time at moderate to high intensity. Example: pick any of my weekday bike workouts, also my long runs for the past 7 weeks (and about 6 weeks leading up to Goofy Challenge), a sprint race.
• Hard: The workout is not only challenging, but because of the amount of intensity or sheer time involved, I know that I need to be extra careful to take in sufficient calories, fluids, and really be sure I do everything right to recover for it and be ready to go again the next day. Example: the long ride plus brick run I did last Saturday (repeat this Saturday), Horribly Hilly Hundreds 200K ride, a HIM or IM race.

There are levels within Hard, like hard, very hard and fucking hard, but I don't dwell on those. I prefer the bulk of my workouts to be Challenging. Challenging is good. It is never boring. It lets me see if I can push the envelope a little bit. Hard once or twice a week is good. Easy once or twice a week is good. Wimp is not something I like to do very often, and in fact I don't, maybe during a taper.

I used to only do 1 or 2 Challenging days per week. Now I have them 4 out of 7 days, plus 1 Hard and the other 2 are easy. But I guess it's a matter of perspective. Stuff that I consider Challenging now I used to consider Hard.

In other news, I did 2 workouts this AM since I'm leaving on a business trip. There were 2 peeps on adjacent treadmills while I was running (after I swam) trying to guess my bodyfat %. They both think I'm below 10%. The guy says I'm ripped. Then he asks me when is my next race. I tell him in about a week. He asks me what is my weakest sport. I told him I'm pretty good across the board for my age group. He asks me what is my age group. I tell him 45-49, that I'm 49 going on 50 this fall. He looks at me incredulously, and tells me I am "quite a specimen." I'm pretty sure I smiled back, and if I blushed, you wouldn't be able to tell because I was running tempo at the time. Both of these peeps are very fit. I appreciate a compliment much more from people like that. Good way to start the day!